Summary: Alex is injured in battle. He is dying. He falls into a deep sleep and awakens as a thirteen year old child in a different world unfamilair to his own. For some reason in this new world he doesn't remember his official life as king Alexander the Great but he does remember parts of his past especially the love of his life. He relives his best moments with Hephaistion. He doesn't know if what he sees is reality but he definitly feels a connection. Now since he is reborn he is desperate to get Phai back as his lover but he is afraid to tell him how he feels because of the fear of being rejected as his visions later become less than clear. His life is recounted in three existences, one as a young boy, a teen and an adult. Because of his visions he is not able to fall asleep which is killing him slowly. So he goes down many paths inorder to get Phai to fall in love with him just like it is suppose to be before he meets the end. Can he succeed before he dies, is his major question to himself or will his reluctance cause him to be late to the game.

Disclaimer: I do not own these fine men.

Inspiration: The song Capricorn by thirtysecondstomars

So I run and hide and tell myself I will start again with a brand new name and eyes that see into infinity…I will disappear

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Eyes that see into Infinity

Prologue

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The last thing I remember is hitting the ground and feeling a piercing pain between my ribs.

The king has been hit! The king is down!

He sounded. I hear the rustlings of soldiers coming to my aid. I hear the shouts of men dying and the screams of horses. Everything looks red and everything is dead.

Hurry and take him back to camp! Get the king out of here!

The voice is strong and familiar. I feel a hand rubbing my face telling me that everything is going to be all right. Worried blue eyes look down on me. The eyes are so familiar.

It's going to be all right Alexander. I am going to take care of you.

The precious words are scarred with sadness and fear. He says my name with such undying hope; hope that I may live tonight.

Please stay alive! For me stay alive.

My eyes begin to close and his words are like a solemn prayer as he argues against the gods. I feel no pain and no agony. A tear drop falls on my face as blue eyes turn foggier and as mine turn distant into darkness.

Don't leave me!

He whispers against my mouth shaking me and not allowing the underworld to take me and mock me as I burn for eternity.

Alexander you are stronger than this. Alexander get up!

Bloody hands take away the man who possesses the blue eyes. In a distance he reaches for me. He yells for me.

Take him!

Another soldier shouts mixed with the blends of more dying nature, friends and fiends. My ears are ringing. Death is awakening. I am being lifted onto a large shield and being carried away.

I try to lift my body and grab my Hephaistion…his name fades in my mouth.

Alexander...

/

My brown eyes stare off and away from the one memory that sulks through my head as I admire the beautiful brunette boy from afar.

Some things are blind, as well as the many people in this universe. Some can be so blind but the blinder they are, the more I can see, and the further I see. I don't know if that has ever occurred to anyone, like those closest to me but I can see things the human race cannot. I see beyond most creatures and most dynamic life. I am allowed to look more out than usual, things beyond this world.

It is a gift and it is a curse.

My name is Alexander and I am thirteen years old. I am diagnosed with fatal insomnia and brain disease. I do not have long to live. Nobody knows but me and the doctor who discovered the illness. However my body remains stable and my mind remains active. Every day that goes by I feel better than the day before. But everyday not everyone is lucky and I know death will soon come to get me.

Because of these visions I will die.

I remember as far back as a crawling baby, stressing my nurse Lanike because I never slept. I was a crazy ball of energy constantly playing with toys and laughing always like the whole entire world was my play pin and I controlled everything. When it came time to finally sleep and the moon stood above the world my eyes never fell closed. Then there was that day I found out I would never sleep again. Years passed by and my eyes never shut to rest. Instead I was somehow gifted with physically powerful mental images and hallucinations in my head. I saw something, things that were very unusual. I remember bright angel lights. I dreamt with eyes open of different worlds and different lives where gods and myths were a way of existence. I've seen horses galloping at the speed of light, men engaging in dark battle, red skies and dry sand as it sucked in blood lust. I've seen kings sitting on their thrones, riding on chariots and ships sailing at sea. I've seen soldiers in armor, flags of honor, women of grace, slaves of penetration and lovers of all kinds.

Lovers? It brings me back to why I am sitting here on top of a little valley hill watching him sleep in a small boat at the pond he comes to everyday.

I blame myself for this. I blame myself for letting some thing that feels so special slip through my hands because of my cowardness to go and just speak. I don't know why I am holding back and I don't now why I am scared. Maybe it's because of what my friends may think or the fear of being rejected. But something like that can't be of any excuse. I am stupid, and completely worthless.

I bring my knees up to my chest and hold my legs tight. I am worthless because I am afraid to tell him what I have seen. I can't tell him I have odd visions that include he and I as lovers. I can't tell him I am portrayed as some king and he as my best friend. He would think me crazy. I don't even know if these images are true or real or not and I am just dancing with a fantasy... but he looks exactly like the brunette general that appears to me so very often.

Birds sing throughout the field and wind blows the pond causing waves and his boat to shift. I am so pitiful. All I do is every second I get, steal glances at him making it obvious that I am infatuated of some sort. It's not much fun in this quiet populated city and I seem to never get tired of watching him, always watching but never talking. I have not the guts just as much as I have no manners. Surely I can go and talk to him right now and introduce myself. He must know who I am. We are next door neighbors.

Seventy percent of people move from their original countries so that they could make a living elsewhere and that's what my parents have done. We have moved from Macedonia and to the states to find better work opportunities. We moved to the highlands of CA and Phai and I both happen to go to the same school. But he ignores me in school and has been blind to me as my neighbor for three years already. We have never spoken. I often times see him checking the mail and I go outside and check mine never taking my eyes away. Shy versus Coward I assume. He would open the mail box and never look at me not even once as he fiddled with the letters in his hand. It was almost like I didn't exist but only in his eyesight. Maybe he had noticed me staring at him all the time in class and at the gym and the only way he wouldn't be freaked out or annoyed by it is to pretend I wasn't there so he didn't have to verbally hurt my feelings.

Maybe I am just thinking too much about it.

He was like a deeming grace and so comfortable with his surroundings. It is hard not to watch him especially his eyes which are normally like blue crystals that are now protected by his eyelids and his bright brown hair covering his soft face as he exhales slowly in rare peace. I could watch him from sunrise till sunset. He is that beautiful.

"Phai, it's time to come inside!" I hear a little voice call. "Mom says! Hurry its dinner time!"

I lift my head and see that a little girl shouting and waving her hand up in the air. The beautiful boy awakens and leans up in the boat. I duck low so that they do not see me spying. "I will catch up with you later. Tell mom I will be there in a sec." The boy says.

"Okay!" His little sister runs back home through the fields.

I watch him quickly move out from the boat and he collects his shoes and books piled on the tiny wooden deck and runs catching up with his sister.

Some stories shouldn't be told... but this one is a bit different. If you ever felt bonded to someone for eternity and hardly know that person but you know everything about him, it can be a little scary and confusing. It is much like a tale that has already happened but is being revisited for an oppurtunity to create changes. It is like a test. I have loved him in my visions and memories. I remember he and I doing everything together. Now I want him to notice me before I hate myself for it and before I regret missing out on something that was important to me in another life.

I remove myself from the grassy hills and watch as he goes. What if he is not the one in my vision. What if this is just a big misunderstanding. Sooner than later I am going to have to find out.