Summary

Bella Swan and her twin brother Emmett Swan are musicians and their band, Punk Rocking Skulls, are one of the most famous bands in the world.

Bella is engaged to her childhood friend and their new

manager, Jacob Black. Jacob organized a tour for them through the continental

of US. On the night of the Forks concert something horrible happens

to Jake and Bella and changes their lives forever. Bella throws herself

into her songwriting and music since it's the only time she feels normal and alive.

Edward Cullen is a new solo rock musician and meets Bella through his best

friend and manager! Edward has a hard time breaking through the walls

that Bella built around her heart. He can see something horrible happened in Bella's life but she

doesn't trust him and it seems that she hates him. Will Edward be able to help Bella and will Bella

trust Edward enough to tell him what has happened to her and let him into

her heart? Edward also has a past and is scared to death that Bella will want

nothing to do with him once she finds out. Together they learn how to heal and love again, and how to

be free from their haunting pasts!

All human

Goodbye lullaby

Stephenie Meyer owns the characters and Avril Lavigne owns the song in this chapter and also the name of the book

Chapter 1

Bella's POV

I looked at myself in the mirror to make sure I looked amazing. I wore my studded black and green hoodie with a pleated dark green mini skirt over fishnet stocking and of course my favorite 14-eye doc martins, every punk girls dream. I made an extra long side path into my hair and straightened them. I added extra black eye shadow around the edges of my eyes to give them a smoky look and added light pink lip-gloss to my lips.

"Bells, you look amazing as always, can we get on that stage now?" Emmett said. I nodded grabbed my heavy studded leather cuff-bracelet and we walked towards the stage. I turned my head to look at my twin brother, Em is big and very muscular and has short black hair and my mother's green eyes; I have inherited the charming Charlie look. Although we are twins, we don't look anything alike. Emmett is wearing a black tee with a white skull on and black cargo pants with his low Chuck Taylor all-star sneaks. Our punk look and love for rock music, and of course the famous skulls on most of our tees gave Emmett the idea for a perfect band name, Punk Rocking Skulls, and I loved it. It said everything about us and about our music.

The crowd went crazy when we walked onto the stage and my heartbeat picked up. I stared into the screaming crowd and grinned. Emmett and I have been singing since forever but only started going serious last year. We never dreamed we would be this famous in only one year. I loved the rush I felt when I was standing in front of thousands of screaming fans, and to perform to them and know that I'm gonna rock their world with my songs. Emmett and I write most of our songs and it usually say a lot about our lives or us.

I turned around to look at my brother behind the drums and he smiled, his two dimples easily visible and I smiled back. Emmett plays the drums and electric guitar but he sticks to drums. He can also sing but leaves that to me. I can play a lot of instruments but the guitar is my favourite. My eyes refocused on the crowd when I heard Emmett's drums leading the song. I loved this song it was one of our firsts. My fingers slammed on the strings of my guitar, and the crowd went wild. My heart was pounding out of my chest.

"Hello Seattle, sing along if you know the words…." I shouted at them and started singing.

He was a boy

She was a girl

Can I make it anymore obvious?

He was a punk

And she did ballet

What more can I say?

He wanted her

She'd never tell

Secretly she wanted him as well

And all of her friends

Stuck up their nose

And they had a problem with his baggy clothes

He was a skater boy she said see ya later boy

He wasn't good enough for her

She had a pretty face but her head was up in space

She needed to come back down to earth.

Five years from now she sits at home feeding the baby, she's all alone

She turns on TV and guess who she sees

Skater boy rocking up MTV

She calls up her friends

They already know

And they've all got tickets to see his show

She tags along, stands in the crowd.

Looks up at the man that she turned down.

I loved singing this song and when the last notes ended, I wanted to scream of the thrill it gave me to perform to such an amazing crowd.

"Thank you Seattle…" I shouted out of breathe and they kept screaming and whistling. I motioned with my hands for them to calm down and the crowd became silent.

"You are one of our favorite crowds, and it's not because it's our hometown, it's the simple fact that you know how to be an awesome crowd. You make it so easy for Em and me to perform and we love it. Thanks for coming tonight and supporting us…We love you Seattle…" I shouted and they went crazy. I was out of breath when I walked backstage.

Emmett and I went to Forks High; we grew up there but moved to Seattle one year ago when we started singing. When we were seventeen Emmett met Heidi and fell in love with her, but she toyed with him. We didn't have a lot of money back then and Heidi wanted a rich boy. The bitch broke Emmett's heart. Last year Em wrote the Sk8er boi song when Heidi phoned him after five years, asking him to come back to her. He told her to go screw herself of course, and then wrote the song.

"You were amazing Bella," my assistant, Leah, said and I grinned at her.

"You get paid to say that, Leah, but thanks anyways!" I said and felt two familiar arms go around my waist. I closed my eyes and laid my head back onto his chest, he tightened his hold, and I felt his lips on my head. Leah quickly left the room saying something about the rest room.

"You rocked," he whispered into my neck and it sent shivers down my body.

"I wanna rock your world babe," I whispered back and he turned my body around to face him. He lowered his head and his lips rested on mine, kissing me slowly at first and then started to kiss me feverishly. I parted my lips and he plunged his tongue into my mouth, and our tongues started fighting. I lifted my knee up to his thigh and his hands trailed down my back and stopped on my backside lifting me up so both my legs were around his waist. He walked me into a wall softly, for more support and his hands crept under my hoodie and rested on my breasts. I moaned into his mouth and he pulled away kissing my jaw line and moved to my neck. I came back to reality when Emmett cleared his throat and folded his arms across his chest. I heard Jake chuckle and I smacked him on his head playfully.

"What the hell you guys? Can't you wait to get a room or something? You're scaring the shit out of me being horny all the time. Jeez man and I have to see your hand all the way up my sister's hoodie, damn Jake that's just nasty," Emmett said and I blushed. I tilted my head to the side to see behind Jake and look at my brother.

"You're just jealous Em, because you can't do that. Wait till you meet someone, then I'll annoy the crap out of you," I said back and Emmett just shook his head. I looked back into Jake's eyes, the passion in them still very visible and I can feel my insides shiver.

"I just wanted to say, you already do rock my world baby, you are my little punk rock girl, and I love you to death," he whispered and chuckled again.

"Thanks babe, but Emmett seeing me make out like a teenage girl and with your hand up my hoodie is a big turn off," I said and unhooked my legs around his waist and my legs fell to the ground. I was pissed at Emmett for ruing our little rock moment.

"Emmett, can't you knock?" I said and placed my hands on my hips tapping my one foot. My eyes widened in surprise when Emmett starting laughing loudly. "What the hell is so funny?" I asked him.

"Bella you can't make out backstage for crying out loud, what the hell are you thinking?" he asked and grinned.

"You know what you two Swans should do?" Jacob asked us and both of us shook our heads. "Write a song about what the hell, since it's the only three words you two uses," he said sarcastically and I wanted to kick him.

"You know what Jake; I can't believe I was all hot for you just a minute ago, because you are an ass now!" I said with my hands still on my hips.

"You still rock my world baby and you looked hot tonight, where did you get the outfit?" he asked me and my heart crumbled. He had me at you still rock my world. I walked to him, wrapped my arms around his neck, and kissed him passionately. "I love you Jacob Black" I whispered into his mouth and heard him moan.

"Okay, if you two don't mind I'm still in the damn room." Em said disgustingly and both Jake and me chuckled.

"Okay dude, what's up?" Jake caved and asked him. He knew Em wanted something and Emmett was getting impatient.

"Let's grab a beer bro; I need to get some fun-time." Emmett said but Jake shook his head.

"We can't man, we have to drive to Forks," Jake said and Em and me both sighed loudly. We were so tired and wanted to get some rest. I felt Jake's body stiffen and I knew there was going to be trouble. Jake turned very strict since becoming our manager and he's been pushing us to work harder. We don't have fun anymore and it's getting on Emmett's nerves. Emmett is a fun and outgoing person, but Jake doesn't allow us to do that anymore.

Emmett walked to Jake and bumped him with his shoulder lightly and Jake's eyes narrowed.

"Come on dude; break the rules this one time please?" Emmett pleaded but Jake tightened his jaw, still pissed about the bump on the shoulder.

"Fuck off Emmett" he said annoyed. My eyes widened in surprise and I felt like slapping Jake. Where did that come from?

"Don't start your shit with me Jake, I've had a fucking hard day, and I'm exhausted. We're not you machines you know, we're human beings with needs. I've had it with your shit!" Emmett said furiously and I saw Jake's eyes turning cold. I wondered what was wrong with Jake, he's been acting weird since we started singing and it's kind off pissing me off as well.

"Guys let's just get to Forks and call it a night okay?" I said but I saw that none of them was going to budge. I can see that Emmett has had enough of Jake's shit and decided that tonight is the night that he's going to make an end to it all. I sighed and looked at Jake. He tightened his jaw and his eyes were full of rage. I turned back to Emmett and decided that Emmett was the calm one tonight but that made Emmett so much more dangerous.

"I just want to say one thing to you Jake," Emmett starting saying and looked Jake straight in his eyes. "It doesn't mean shit to me that you are our childhood friend or even the fact that you're engaged to my sister, you are our manager and that's it. We still pay your salary and we still get to decide what we wanna do, you don't own me or Bella, so stop making decisions for us," Emmett said calmly but I heard the warning in his tone. To my surprise, Jake grinned.

"One of these days Bella will be mine," he said and my head snapped up to him. Oh no he didn't?

"Um…Jake what the hell was that?" I asked him a little pissed now.

"Bella we're getting married," he explained and I furrowed my brow.

"It doesn't mean you will control me Jake, or make decisions for me. I will not bow to your orders do you understand that?" I asked him with my hands on my hips again. Okay so now I'm annoyed as hell and wanna have a beer but my stomach turned at the thought. I have other things to worry about for instance, why I'm four weeks late with my period? I know in my heart the truth but my mind still thinks there are other explanations. I'm screwed and I have to think about what I'm going to do, 'cause I don't want any kids now, maybe in the future but not now.

Emmett hissed, turned around, and stormed out of the building. I gave Jake a look that said fuck-off and ran after my brother. He looked over his shoulder and stopped when he saw that it was just me.

"I'm sick of his shit Bells, I can't take it anymore. When was the last time we had a fun night? I don't even remember the last time. What happened to Jake, he used to be fun to be around with," he said angrily. I decided since we were alone that I wanted to tell my brother about my pregnancy, and my stomach turned upside down. I'm nervous as hell and afraid of what he'll think off me. I'm always messing up and Em cleans up afterwards. I must be such a disappointment.

"Em, I have to tell you something," I whispered and I heard the nervousness in my own voice. I felt tears form in my eyes but I didn't want to wipe them away 'cause then he will see that I'm crying.

"Bells, why the nervousness?" he asked and walked towards me and wrapped me in his big strong arms. The tears were falling down my cheeks and I just blurted it out. "I think I'm pregnant," I whispered and started crying loudly. Emmett pulled away and looked into my eyes. "No Bells, this can't be…" he whispered back and pulled me into his arms again. I felt Emmett's tears on my hair and new sobs escaped my mouth. I hate myself for doing this to Emmett. He pulled away quickly and cleared his throat.

"Wait you said you think you're pregnant?" he asked and I heard the hope in his voice. I shook my head and looked down.

"I mean, I think I know. I'm four weeks late Emmett. Jake doesn't know yet, because I don't know what I'm going to do. I want to figure it out first," I explained and he sighed.

"Bells, whatever you decide please promise me one thing first?" he asked and sounded nervous.

"Anything" I answered and Emmett sighed again.

"Don't marry Jake just because you're pregnant. Don't rush into it Bells, I know you love him but please just wait," he pleaded and looked down. I pulled myself to him and started crying again. He rubbed my back trying to comfort me.

"I won't Em, I promise. I don't deserve a brother like you. I'm sorry for disappointing you again," I said but Emmett tightened his arms around me.

"Don't ever think that, you're not a disappointment to me. You are my sister and I love you with everything I have Bella; I'll do anything for you, anything. We'll always be there for each other, because that's what we do." He said and I relaxed into his arms.

"Let's hit the road to Forks so we can get some well deserved sleep," he whispered and I chuckled.

We walked back to the building only to find Jake standing at the door with his arms folded across his chest.

"Is the little family reunion over?" he asked sarcastically and I narrowed my eyes at Jake.

"You are a real jerk Jake," I said and walked past him into the building. Emmett walked past him and pushed him with his shoulder. Jake didn't say anything he just followed us and Emmett turned around to face him.

"I'm going to say this only once Jake so listen and listen good. We're not taking orders from you anymore. We didn't make you the manager to control us, we made you the manager to organize things for us while we write songs and sing. You are not our boss. What happened to you Jake? You used to be fun to be around with, now we don't want to be in the same room with you." Emmett said and I could see Jake's face turning sad and he sighed.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I know I've been a pain, I'm just so scared that I'll disappoint you guys. I just want what's best for you and Bella and I guess I got carried away. You never said anything so I assumed I was doing the right thing," Jake said and his voice trembled. This discovery was a big surprise to me, I knew something was up, but never thought that Jake was afraid he didn't do a good job. He's one of the best there is and we love the work he's been doing, he's just been pushing us so hard. We haven't had a break since the band started and we're exhausted.

"Jake, you were our friend long before our manager. You'll never disappoint us, we miss the fun Jake that was up for anything. We'll work everything out, just be normal please?" Emmett said and punched him lightly on the shoulder. He grinned at Emmett and punched him back. It's amazing how men can sort their shit out by simply bumping their shoulders or punching each other lightly.

"Is that some sort of guy-thing, the punching and pushing and stuff…" I asked them both and they chuckled.

Jake walked towards me and placed his hands on my waist. My heartbeat raced and goose bumps spread across my body. I shivered and he smiled.

"I want you so bad," he whispered into my neck while trailing kisses up my neck to my jaw line and stopped at my mouth. I parted my lips for him and he took control of my mouth. My body arched to his and he pulled me closer to him. He slowed the kiss and I knew he was going to stop so I moaned and he chuckled. He pulled away from me and I stomped my foot.

"Baby, we have to leave now," he whispered and chuckled while continuing "Be patient a little while longer" he said and I nodded in agreement.

"Jake's got a point Bella, plus the fact that I'm still in the damn room is a big no no for you guys. You really need to get laid soon, I'm freaking out having the two of you in one room with me," Emmett said in disgust and I stuck my tongue out at him. He bursted out in laughter and I wanted to kick his ass.

"Let's go, I'm exhausted," Jake said and even sounded tired. My pour guy was so stressed about doing his job he forgot how to relax and have fun. I'm going to change that very soon.

"Where did you book us babe?" I asked him while all of us walked to our cars.

"I hope you packed your surfing gear baby, I got us two cabins at the Quileute Oceanside resort it's right on first beach down at La Push…" he answered me and I screamed in excitement.

"Sheesh Bella, it's just a cabin," Emmett said and I glared at him.

"No, Em it's not just a cabin, it's on the beach and I'm going surfing," I said and he smiled back at me. Why is Emmett being difficult tonight, he knows me better than anyone does and he knows how much I love the beach and surfing. He pushed me lightly with his shoulder and I wanted to kick him.

"Relax Bella, I'm joking, what's happening to your moods? You're gonna kill me if you keep it up," he said and I grinned. I'm having a lot of mood changes and it's irritating the shit out of me. It must be the pregnancy thing. I'm just gonna stop thinking about that tonight it just freaks me out and I want to concentrate on Jake tonight. I turned to Jake and kissed him in his neck.

"Thank you for the cabin at the beach, I love you so much more for doing it for me," I whispered and he smiled his eyes full of love. Emmett shook his head and walked to his big black Jeep when we stopped at Jake's black Mercedes.

"See you guys at Forks…and please don't make out in the car right now, let's get there?" Emmett pleaded and Jake chuckled. He opened the door for me and I climbed in and relaxed against the black leather seats. This car is damn comfortable and I loved it. Jake got in next to me and started the engine. I lowered my body, laid my head on the headrest of the seat, and placed my hand on his inner thigh. Jake moaned loudly and I chuckled. I closed my eyes for a moment but was to exhausted to open them again. I was thankful that it was June and I could surf and would do that first thing tomorrow morning. I drifted to sleep while thinking about the beach and the big waves while Jake drove to La Push.

I felt Jake carrying me and I opened my eyes to look straight into his. My lips curled up into a lazy smile.

"That was fast," I said sleepily and he chuckled.

"For you, I wasn't sleeping remember?" he said.

"I'm sorry Jake, I was going to close my eyes only for a sec and couldn't open them again," I started apologizing but his lips came crushing on mine and I forgot all about my apologies. He walked through the door and straight to the bedroom laying me on the bed and went to lock the door. When he came back, he walked straight to me and climbed on the bed with me. His hand went around my waist to pull me closer to him and he slowly kissed my neck, I pulled my head back and moaned. He hovered on top of me and kissed me feverishly and I wanted to rip his cloths off.

"Make love to me Jake, now!" I whispered with determination and I heard him chuckle. His breathing was heavy and his eyes were dark with passion, and I locked my legs around his waist to pull him closer to me. He moaned loudly and unzipped my hoodie while trailing kisses from my throat to my chest. My breathing became uneven and I wanted him so bad it hurt. "I love you Jake," I whispered and he looked up from my chest into my eyes. "I love you more than you'll ever know Bella," he whispered back and I saw the love he has for me in his brown eyes.

We made love three times that night and I would have gone for more but I was exhausted. While laying in Jake's arms I started thinking about the fact that I might be pregnant. I don't know what the hell to do? I didn't want kids and I'm scared to death. I don't think I'll be able to go for an abortion, and I won't be able to give it up for adoption while I carried it for nine months anyway, so the only way out is to keep it. I'll have to keep the baby and I have to tell Jake. My stomach turned thinking about having a baby and my hand moved to my abdomen. I closed my eyes and felt tears rolling down my cheeks. My life feels messed up right now and I don't have a clue how to fix it. I felt Jake move a little and he kissed me on my shoulder.

"What's up babe?" he asked me his voice sounded lazy.

"Why?" I asked back ignoring his question. "I thought you were sleeping," I added quickly to try and change the subject, but my voice gave my tears away and he lifted himself resting his head on his fist.

"I was, but I felt you crying, your whole body is shaking. Now tell me what is wrong?" he asked again and I knew I could no longer put it off.

"Jake, I think um…I think I'm pregnant," I whispered. I was still lying with my back against him and I didn't want to turn around to face him. His hand came around my waist and pulled me around to look at him.

"I thought you were on the pill?" he asked softly and I nodded my head in agreement.

"I am I don't know how this happened and I'm so scared," I said and started crying again.

"I'll get a pregnancy test first thing tomorrow so we can be sure and then we'll take it from there. Bella I love you and we'll work everything out. I'll never leave you," he said and I nodded to afraid to speak.

"Now go to sleep baby, you need the rest," he whispered. I closed my eyes while he lightly trailed his fingers up and down my back, and I felt my body relax. "Love you Jake," I whispered while drifting to sleep.

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