Title: A Fine Line

Summary: "I know you're secretly in love with me, Potter; honestly, you're rather transparent. And you know what they say about love and hate—a fine line and whatnot." HPDM, dialogue fic, humor.

Warnings: None, whatsoever.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor any of the characters involved. No copyright infringement intended.

Challenge: This story was written for the The Dialogue Challenge on the HPFC forums.

"Must you walk so close behind me?"

"If we're going to do this, we have to be careful, alright? Do you think I enjoy being this close to you? Really?"

"Of course you enjoy it. I know you're secretly in love with me, Potter; honestly, you're rather transparent. And you know what they say about love and hate—a fine line and whatnot."

"I do not love you, Malfoy. You know what? I almost feel like I shouldn't even dignify that with a response. I could almost laugh."

"Oh, that's merely a defense mechanism, y'know, avoidance and... Okay, so it would make sense."

"What would make sense? You were clearly carrying on a sentence and what? Just...decided to trail off into a completely separate topic? What is that? Not quite the eloquence I would expect from you."

"Oh, those thoughts are definitely tied together. And I would just like to say...I'm very eloquent. You're the one who has trouble with words and maintaining an intelligent conversation."

"Fine, then. Please do carry on with what you were saying. What would make sense?"

"Hush, can't you see that I'm trying to walk?"

"I...just what? I...I don't even know how to respond to that."

"Well, clearly, I'm trying to focus on reaching our destination rather than carrying on a conversation with you. I hate you, remember?"

"What was it that you just said about avoidance? A defense mechanism, you say?"

"Kindly shut up, would you, Potter?"

"No, see, I'm rather interested in where this conversation is heading. Just trying to prove...what was it that you said? That I can maintain an intelligent conversation? See, I'm doing that quite well, wouldn't you agree?"

"There's a very distinct difference between being intelligent and being obnoxious...would you like to guess which one you're being right now?"

"You're stepping on my scarf, I think."

"What? I asked you a question, Potter."

"And I chose to ignore it, since it was clearly rhetoric. You're still stepping on my scarf."

"I told you that you were walking too close to me, so it's not my fault."

"Yeah, because I put your foot on top of my scarf. Just move, would you? We're suppose to be walking, anyways."

"No, I'm hoping that if I move my foot at just the right angle I can strangle you."

"Wouldn't it be more productive to just, y'know, pull on it with your hands?"

"What was that? Sarcasm, maybe? When did you learn to be sarcastic, Potter?"

"Just move your bloody foot before I kick you. And, really, that's a lose-lose scenario for everyone, because you would probably scream like a girl and get us caugh—"

"You kick me, and I don't care if we get caught, I'm hexing you."

"Just, shut up, would you? We're at the Slytherin common room now, so...leave. You're bothering me. And the next time you suggest staying out past curfew, you're walking back without the assistance of my Invisibility Cloak."

"You wouldn't dare. And...no, you know what? I'm not having this conversation with you. And—don't—push—me."

"Clearly too late. G'night, Malfoy."

"I hate you."

—&—

"Malfoy."

"..."

"Malfoy...?"

"..."

"Malfoy."

"..."

"Draco?"

"Would you really leave me alone in the library all night?"

"...what?"

"Last night you said you'd leave me if we stayed out too late again...would you really?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Well, why, may I ask?"

"Because I hate you."

"But—"

"Malfoy? This is a stupid conversation that is going absolutely nowhere. Unless, of course, you're prepared to bring up our other topic from yesterday? You know, 'there's a fine line between love and hate' and that whole avoidance issue you seem to have."

"I do not have an avoidance issue, Potter!"

"You clearly do."

"Okay! I'm leaving now! You can finish the rest of the work for tonight, since, well... I wouldn't want to be left here, now would I?"

"Malfoy...! I was just joking...! Oh, bugger."

—&—

"Fine, I wouldn't just leave you."

"I knew it. It's because you're in love with me, isn't it?"

"We're starting this again then, are we?"

"Clearly not."

"But you just—"

"Joke, Potter. It was a joke. You're virtue is safe for another day."

"Who said anything about my virtue, Malfoy?"

"Evidently, I just did."

"The safety of my virtue is in question?"

"Are you being sarcastic?"

"Clearly."

"I hate you so much."

"Do you, now?"

"Yes, Potter."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Really-really? "

"Would you please—for the sake of my remaining patience and sanity—just shut up already?"

"..."

"Great."

"..."

"Potter?"

"..."

"Are you ignoring me?"

"..."

"Harry?"

"..."

"I'm going to kill you. Not with magic either. I'm going to take something solid and shove it down that pretty little throat of yours."

"Pretty little...?"

"Shut up!"

"But that completely defeats the purpose of you trying to get me to talk! This conversation is so counter-productive!"

"I hate you."

"...Really?"

—&—

"What if every time you say you hate me, you actually mean the opposite?"

"Potter?"

"Yeah, 'cause, y'know, you say it enough. And what was it that you said the other day? 'There's a fine line between love and hate'? So. You clearly mean the opposite."

"Uh? I love you, then?"

"Ah ha! I knew it!"

"Wait...no, what! But you said that it means the opposite...!"

"No, you clearly love me, Malfoy."

"Actually, I don't think it's possible for me to hate you anymore than I do right now."

"That's the sweetest thing you've ever said to anyone, I think!"

"...I just can't win."

"S'okay, Draco, I 'hate' you, too."

Author's Note: So this was just a little experiment that I did for fun for the Dialogue Challenge over at the HPFC. It's not meant to be taken seriously (well, considering that it's impossibly unrealistic, almost to the point of being crack). I hope the ending wasn't too vague, and I hope you guys got at least an ounce of amusement out of this. That was, after all, my objective.

Thank you for reading! And I hope you'll leave a review telling me what you think! Opinions, thoughts? :)