Lessons Learned.

A/N: This is totally different from everything I've ever done. I hope you enjoy it, and feedback would be greatly appreciated (:

One.

Cat Valentine teaches him to dream.

He's in middle school, back when Disney Channel dictates every conversation and half the school wears football jerseys every day of their lives, and everyone seems to be innocent. It's one of those school dances where boys and girls stand on opposite sides of the gym, with the girls giggle awkwardly with one another, and boys hanging around the snack table all night.

Suddenly the girl with the pink and red hair grabs his hand and sweeps him onto the dance floor. He pretends to put up a fight for his buddies, but he shoots her a secret smile.

"Just feel it, Beck," she tells him, arms flailing in the air, her fire red dress moving with her body, "Don't be afraid, just do it!"

Cat has always been strange, but that's what he likes about her. It's why he catches himself staring at her in algebra, or carries her to the nurse's office after she sprains her ankle in dodgeball. She's not afraid to be herself, the girl who collects turtles and spray paints her purses because she says she "doesn't want to be boring!"

He has her mom drive her home with them, and she starts to cry when they pull up to her house.

When he asks her what's wrong, she wipes her face daintily. "I just love being happy, Beck. And you make me happy."

He wants so badly to kiss her right then, but he's only 13 and his mom is right next to him, and she has mascara running all down her flushed cheeks. But before he can reply, she kisses his cheek and hops out of the car, skipping on her sparkly magenta Converse all the way to her door, as if the tears never happened in the first place.

It's then he realizes that Cat Valentine makes him happy, too.

On Monday, he holds her hand under the table at lunch. By Friday he kisses her against her locker after school and she giggles the whole time.

"No boy has ever kissed me before."

She tells him she's sorry she's not very good at it, and he just keeps his hand entangled in her hair and tells her she's just fine, but doesn't tell her that he's never kissed anyone either.

They tell their parents every day that they have something after school so they can spend time together, holding hands and swapping secrets, and it's like nothing can break them.

He wonders if this is what love is like.

As spring turns into summer, they spend the scorching hot days lying on the blades of grass of his backyard, sipping Kool-Aid, their hands staying intertwined always.

"What do you dream about, Beck?"

He turns to her and gazes into her wide chocolate droplets. "I don't know."

"Oh, come on Beck! Everyone has dreams! Everyone wants to do something! What's something that makes you happy?"

He squeezes her purple polka dot painted fingers. "Well, I like to sing."

Her face lights up, like she's seen a rainbow in the sky. "I didn't know that! I bet you're wonderful."

"I'm really not."

"Oh, Beck. Please sing for me."

He can't resist her soft pleas as she rubs her thumb across his cheek, and he gives in quickly. Her smile grows wider with every verse, and she hugs him so fiercely when he's done, that he's sure he can't breathe.

"I think you should try out for that performing school with me. Hollywood Acting? Hollywood Painting? Fudge, I can't even remember!"

"Hollywood Arts?"

"Yes! Oh, Beck, you should do it. Then everyone can see how great you are, and maybe you can be famous!"

She believes in him. She makes him feel like he's good enough, like he means something.

She goes with him to audition, and they both get in, easily. When the list goes up, she rushes into his arms and wraps her legs around him, tears of joy brimming in her eyes.

"I'm so happy for you."

Not herself, but him.

"I knew you could do it."

He starts to gain confidence, researching acting and practicing his singing so he can be fresh and ready for fall. He wants to show her how much he worked, how much he deserves his spot.

Two days before school starts, she comes over to his house, her hair cut into a new, short bob, though her face is somber. She says she has to break up with him because her psychic told her to. She tells him that he's her best friend, and that she doesn't want to, but if the psychic said it, it must be true.

She hugs him, mumbling about how sorry she is, lone tears falling. He knows he should be mad, because they are so happy, and it's really no reason to break up at all. But he just can't be angry, because it's such a very "Cat" thing to do.

They start school and they're both happy, but sometimes they still hold hands under the table. Like when Sikowitz tears apart his acting, or when Robbie's puppet Rex tells her she's weird. But he knows that he's just Beck and she's just Cat, and Beck&Cat is nothing but a past dream.

But Beck has many dreams ahead of him, and he has Cat to thank for it. She believed in him, more than anyone else. Because Cat Valentine is a dreamer, and because of her, Beck is too.

Two.

Jade West teaches him to wait.

He meets her his third week at Hollywood Arts, when she spills her mocha on him (no wonder she got so jealous), and they sit on the stairs talking for what feels like days. He's missed having someone to talk to, someone who will listen to what he has to say.

They talk about her eyebrow piercing, and the blue streaks that run through her hair, and he talks about how he thinks he's a terrible singer, and how his last girlfriend dumped him because a psychic told her to.

"You sound like a brooding, tortured artist, friend."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you sound like someone with a lot of baggage."

He doesn't know what to say, so he just leans his head against the railing of the stairs.

She laces a piece of hair around her finger. "Lucky for you, Beck Oliver, that's just what I like."

She kisses him, and it's nothing like it was with Cat. Jade is rough around the edges, just a girl who wants someone to want her back, and he can feel that when her lips graze his. She grips his shirt tightly, like she's afraid if she lets go, he'll just leave her high and dry. He starts to think maybe it's her who has the baggage.

He walks her home that afternoon, and even though he doesn't feel whole, he is happy.

It's then he realizes that Jade will take a bigger part of him than she should.

Soon they're Beck&Jade, and they make sense. Jade becomes best friends with Cat, which he thinks is odd, but everything is just so comfortable, he doesn't really care.

Every time a girl comes up and talks to him, Jade grips his hand a little tighter, even though he knows he would never leave her, because they need each other, though he doesn't know why. Even though he loves having someone to talk to, she does most of the talking now. And when he invites her over to his RV the day he decides to live in it, she insists on decorating it, because she "doesn't want to hang out in a dump".

Jade is his girlfriend, but sometimes seems like his boss.

When Tori Vega arrives at Hollywood Arts, Jade doesn't leave his side. Even though she's icy cool on the outside, inside is just an insecure girl who's afraid Beck won't love her anymore.

Stolen kisses in Sikowitz's class become much more public, while her harm is constantly wrapped around his waist. Arguments become a daily routine, about anything and everything.

Of course, the arguments always come back to one person in particular.

"Beck, why can't you just admit that you like her? I know you do."

He's driving her home, like he always does, when she brings up Tori for the millionth time.

"Jade, for the last time, it's just you. You're all I want. Tori is just my friend."

"Prove it."

"What the hell are you talking about? I prove it to you every day. I'm always with you. I buy you frozen yogurt on the way home from school. I give you everything, but you insist on making things so much more difficult. Why don't you believe that I love you?"

She looks up at him, a faint smile on her face. "I'm ready."

"What the hell does that even mean?"

Her eyes roll in annoyance. "No, Beck. I'm ready."

He realizes what she's saying and becomes seemingly frozen, stoic. "Jade… I don't know."

"Beck, we've been together for two years. It's time."

"But Jade-"

"Would you rather do it with Vega?"

It's Beck's turn to be annoyed. "How the fuck can you even say that? After everything I've said to you, after all the things I've done for you, you still think this is about Tori?"

Her arms cross. "You'd do it if you really loved me."

"Okay, Jade. Say we do it. Say you, or I feel awkward afterwards and don't want to see each other again. It could get so weird, messy even. Do you see what I'm saying?"

"Beck, we have to do this. Or it's over."

For a brief moment, he feels relief. He can break it with her, see what it's like to just be Beck for a while. But he's afraid. He's scared to be without her, he can't really remember what it's like.

They go to his RV, and awkwardly peel each other's clothes off. They awkwardly fall into bed. They awkwardly… do it.

It's all just so… awkward. There's nothing romantic or enjoyable about it, and she walks to the bathroom 10 minutes afterwards without shedding a tear.

When he wakes up in the morning, she's not there. Her bag is gone, her clothes are gone, everything of hers is gone, except for scribbles on a crumpled receipt.

You were right.

As he throws his head in his hands, trying to erase any and all memories of her, he knows he should have waited, because it wasn't right. Nothing like it should be.

Jade West breaks him, and Beck loses the pieces.

Three.

Tori Vega teaches him to wonder.

She calls him the day Jade leaves him, because his usual seat next to her in class is empty. When he doesn't answer, she picks up Krispy Kreme, heads to his RV, and finds him silent, in his boxers watching Maury.

She plops down next to him on the couch. "You like this show too?"

And that's it. They just sit there all afternoon, watching Maury and Jerry Springer, neither one of them speaking, except for the occasional "Do you want a soda?" or "Beck, you should probably put some pants on."

She doesn't try to hold his hand or talk incessantly about what happened. When the sky fades to nighttime, she simply stands up to leave. "Will you be at school tomorrow?"

"I don't know."

"Okay. Well hopefully I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Tori?" He sits up a little straighter, as her dark locks whip around to face him. "Thanks for caring."

The next day, he drags himself to school, just to feel her positive presence. Her electric blue sundress radiates happiness, and her straightened tresses gloss in the sunlight. "Beck! I'm so happy you're here." He feels her tiny arms wrap around his neck, and her voice lowers to a whisper. "She's not here today."

The weeks following "it" (they both agree not to bring it up), he finds himself spending all his free time with her. Movies in his RV, ice cream at Baskin Robbins, accidental naps on her couch.

It's then he realizes maybe he didn't need Jade as much as he thought.

Cat calls him at two in the morning on a Wednesday, out of the blue.

"Are you dating Tori?"

"No, Cat. I'm not."

"I think she likes you."

"I don't think so."

"But you guys spend so much time together!"

"We're friends, Cat. That's what friends do."

The other line is uncomfortably quiet. "She's not just your friend, Beck. I think you love her."

He tells her to go to sleep, that she is tired and doesn't realize what she's saying, and he tries to convince himself that she's wrong.

A few days later, he and Tori find a bench in the park and watch the clouds. He sits on one side as she lays down on the other, her legs atop his.

"You used to date Cat, right?"

"Yeah, in like eighth grade. Why?"

"I'm just trying to figure out your type. I mean, Jade and Cat are two totally polar opposites."

He pauses before answering. "I guess I just like girls with crazy colored hair."

For his birthday, Tori whisks him off to Disneyland.

"You ready? Today is going to be totally epic!" Her mega-watt smile curves wide on her face, as she looks at him from under her sunglasses.

"As always, Miss Vega. Being with you is always an adventure."

They spend all day riding roller coasters and buying souvenir lemonade cups, and stay until the late hours of the night. When they're driving back, she grabs his hand and intertwines it with hers.

He doesn't pull away.

Two days after his birthday, she kisses him.

They're on his couch, attempting to eat burnt popcorn, with some Will Ferrell movie playing in the television.

"What if I never find anyone, Beck?"

"Tori, what do you mean?"

"I mean, what if I never find someone to love me, someone who just wants to be with me? I'll just be alone with 12 cats by the time I'm forty. Except I don't like cats, so I'll have 12 fish. A fish lady!"

He chuckles slightly at her ridiculousness. "Tor, that's not going to happen."

She tilts her head in doubt. "And what makes you so sure about that?"

"Because any guy would be lucky to have you. You're smart and beautiful, and you're so much fun to be around. You smile all the time, and try to make life better for everyone around you. You have a heart of gold, Tori. You will find someone. If you don't , there's no hope for the rest of the world."

Instead of getting a reply, she brings her lips to his. In contrast to her bold actions, he can tell she's scared and unsure. He knows this is what he wants, but he doesn't want to take advantage. He knows that he needs her, he can't lose her. He even thinks he might…

Love her.

But he's a coward. Selfish. He's too afraid of what might happen to him. Against what he wants, he pulls away reluctantly.

"Tor-"

Confused, she stands up to leave. "I'm sorry, Beck. I shouldn't have done that."

"No, Tori-"

She puts up her hand to stop him. "I know. You don't have to explain. I know you're not over Jade yet, and I shouldn't have tried to kiss you. I'll just…see you later I guess."

As she walks out of the door, her black boots clicking as they walked, he knew that Tori Vega loved him.

And he knew that he loved her back.

The next day, when he comes over to apologize, Trina brings him up to the bathroom because Tori has locked herself in, refusing to come out.

"Come on, Tori! Beck's here! Just come out and talk to him."

"No way, Trina. I'm not coming out."

"He says he's sorry, Tori." She shoots a death glare in his direction, causing him to shove his hands deeper into his pockets.

"Trina, it's not that. I…messed up."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Nothing, it's stupid. Just go ahead and let Beck in. But you have to leave. You're going to laugh."

Frustrated, Trina storms off, and Beck turns the doorknob to enter.

He finds her sitting on the tile floor, burnt orange streaks running through her hair, almost the same color of the shirt she's wearing.

"Hey." Her voice is soft, almost a whisper, "I know it looks bad."

He takes a seat next to her, running a hand through her hair. "What were you trying to do?"

"It's stupid."

"You keep saying that, but you won't tell me what it is."

"Because I'm embarrassed."

He takes her chin and lifts it to face him. "Tori, it's just me."

She bites her lip. "You said you like girls with crazy colored hair."

He wipes the small tears falling on her face, guilt wracking his body. "Tori, you-"

"I know, I know. It was the most idiotic thing ever. Trying to change how I look to get a guy's attention. You're probably going to tell me that I'm beautiful just the way I am, and some guys is going to find everything he wants with me. But I don't want to hear that bullshit anymore. I shouldn't have tried to color my hair to impress you, but I just don't get it, Beck. We spend almost every day together. We hold hands in your truck. You pay for me every time we go somewhere, even when I beg you not to. It's like we're together. But as soon as I kissed you, you just pulled away. It doesn't make sense to me. And a stupid part of me thought that if I dyed my hair, maybe you'd change your mind." Her body heaves with a sigh. "I told you it was dumb."

He shifts his body so it faces hers completely. "Tori, I came here in the first place to apologize about yesterday. I was just surprised, I wasn't expecting it. And I just- I can't lose you. You have become a constant in my life. I wanted to kiss you so, so badly. But what if we did get together? What if we broke up? What if we end up hurting each other and stop talking? What if-" Before he can finish, she kisses him once again. It's different from the last, brave and romantic. She brings her hand to his cheek as his finds her hip. He knows he should pull away, that things will never be the same, but he can't.

Because he fucking loves her.

Before he can do anything, she is the one to pull away, and leans her head against the cabinet.

"You have got to stop being so scared of everything, Beck. Stop thinking what will happen if we don't work. Break-ups happen. You and Cat were in eighth grade. Jade never loved you like she should have. If you want to kiss me, then kiss me. If you don't, then don't. You have got to live life the way you want to. Stop looking in the past, because that's not going to help you. Do what makes you happy."

He twirls a newly orange lock around his finger. "You make me happy, Tori."

She stands up and examines her hair in the mirror. "I look ridiculous."

As he watches her reach for the hair brush and attempt to tame her hair, he knows they're perfect for each other. His middle school rendezvous with Cat and eventual disaster with Jade were never meant to be. He and Tori will fight all the time, he'll probably watch too many romantic movies with her, and she'll complain about all the times he fixes his car when she comes over to spend time with him.

But Tori Vega is the girl he's dreamed about, and the one he's waited for.

He just wonders why it took him so long to figure it out.

A/N: So this took me like a month to write, and it's definitely the longest oneshot I've ever written. I'm beginning to think I'm only good at writing dialogue :( Haha. But any and all feedback would really be appreciated! (: I hope you guys enjoyed it, and if you favorite, please just leave a quick review telling me what you liked about it. It would really help (:

-Caitlin