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That's how much I love you

Fandom: Glee

Characters: Kurt/Blaine, Wes.

Rating (this chapter): PG.

Warnings: None.

Spoilers: Season 2.

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. I do not own any of the songs used every other chapter.

Author's note: While this story might be looking good and positive for a possible Blaine/Kurt hook up, you can expect a lot of angst. Just because I love it, hehe.

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That's how much I love you

It'd been awkward, very awkward.

Ok, so Blaine had kissed Rachel and then accepted to go on a date. Rachel had even taken the challenge of turning him into a straight boy and failed. Blaine remained to be very gay, which had to be good news for Kurt – except that it wasn't, because they weren't talking.

Kurt looked at himself in the mirror and finished arranging his tie. For a moment, he thought that it wasn't so bad to try and be like everyone else at least for a while when wearing his uniform, like he was one of the guys with the Warblers, not needing to stand out. It was a weird feeling to have at this stage. He'd always been proud of being different, even if that'd cost him people's acceptance of him sometimes.

Pavarotti's singing brought Kurt back to reality and to the only Warbler Kurt was interested in as more than friends. He smiled sadly, remembering that Blaine had been the one to introduce him to the beautiful bird.

There was a knock on the door and Kurt made sure that everything was ready for him to go. Wes had been checking on him for the last couple of days, detecting that something was off between Kurt and Blaine. The man, of course, would not rest until the chorus was perfect, even if that meant stalking the students until they got their butts in gear. Normally Kurt would have protested at the idea, but with Blaine being gone from his life lately, he had to admit that he'd even forgotten about rehearsals and he'd even showed up late for Warblers practice. Horrid way to show he was ok with Blaine's latest decisions!

The clothes were carefully folded and in the closet, the desk was clean and the bed was already made. Kurt grabbed his jacket in a hurry, because of the knocks on the door would not stop. Cheer up, c'mon, you can't be late again, this is super-mega-extra-important and I am so gonna kill you if you screw up our perfect tunes, he could imagine Wes would most probably say. Finally, Kurt took a deep breath and opened the door.

"I'm going, Wes, I'm go-" And then he stood there, door open, speechless.

Blaine was holding the doorframe and as frowning like he'd made yet another controversial decision. "Can we talk?"

It took Kurt a few seconds to register what the other boy had said, but the first thing his brain processed was the best excuse he could use. "We've got Warblers practice in ten…" He was so not ready to talk to Blaine. Especially when the guy seemed like after a lot of struggle, he'd decided to leave Dalton and move to Alaska.

"I'll be brief," Blaine insisted, his gaze still heavy on Kurt's –half plead half anger. "Please."

And that's how he got Kurt to mouth a little, "Ok," as if he had a spell on him. It was a bit embarrassing to know that even after everything Blaine had done, Kurt would still love him that much. Or maybe it was just utterly romantic.

He let the other boy in and Blaine close the door behind him. They stood there in without talking for a couple of seconds.

"Let's sit," Blaine muttered then, and they both sat on the bed. So far, if Blaine's face was any indication, this was not going to be a casual, friendly conversation.

Kurt watched Blaine fold his arms in discomfort, his eyes fixed on the carpet. He waited in silence, not wanting to disturb him. They still had eight minutes until practice.

"We'll be late, I know," Blaine suddenly said, finally looking at Kurt. He'd evidently caught him looking at his watch. "But I need to say this, Kurt... I'm sorry."

This was definitely not the way things were supposed to be, right?

Kurt stared at Blaine without a clue of what was going on. "What? I think I heard you say that…"

"That I'm sorry. Because I truly am."

"About what? If anyone should be sorry, it should be me," Kurt stated. "When we talked the last time, I was horrible to you. I should have put myself in your shoes and try to be helpful, not to yell at you for trying to figure out what you really want in life. You were right to walk away from me. Oh, and, um… you had a point when you compared me to… you know, Karofsky..."

"No, no. Actually, I was out of line, I…" Blaine rubbed the back of his head, blinking in a weird way a few times. He didn't blink like that except when he was nervous. "I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have told you all those things, compared you with that… I don't even think there's a name for someone who does that to a person." He took a deep breath. "The last thing I want to do is hurt you… If I ask for your opinion is because it matters a lot to me, you know? There is no one else I would talk to about it but you, so I should respect what you tell me, even if it comes from a different point of view. If I ask you to tell me what you think, I should listen at the very least, not storm out like a kid who doesn't get a cookie because it's still too hot."

Kurt smiled at the random image that came to his head, Blaine being a child and being denied a cookie. "I saw what happened at the Lima Bean afterwards. She kissed you. Did you feel the same way as you did at the party?" He thought that he should ask Blaine, even if he already knew the answer.

"I didn't," Blaine responded, blushing. "I guess I was wrong. I was not really attracted to Rachel."

"So you don't think you might like girls and boys?"

"No. I definitely like boys only."

Kurt smiled. "Very well, then. I respect you and support you any other way. Even if sometimes I lose my temper and it doesn't look like it, which I'm very sorry for."

"Kurt, stop apologizing."

"Then you stop doing it, too."

They laughed a bit, like things were less awkward that before. A weight had certainly been lifted off from Kurt's shoulders. It seemed that Blaine felt the same way.

"Are we even then?" Blaine said.

"Mmm…" Kurt put out his thoughtful face, then smiled again. "Yeah, I think so."

"Great, that's great… Then… um… should we go practice?"

Kurt watched his clock again and frowned. "Oh my God, there are two minutes left, we need to be there right now before Wes…"

The door opened without any previous warning, and Kurt could see a very confident, not pleased Wes standing in his doorway. He cocked an eyebrow and his lips tensed. "Oh, there you are together, my sweet, little rebellious friends, talking as if there was nothing you should worry about. Newsflash, here I am to put you back on track. Now get your asses to Warblers' practice now!"

Kurt grabbed his things and Blaine followed him out, both of them being escorted by Wes. Kurt only looked back once to see the expression in Wes' face, only to find him grinning. Yep, he definitely thought that whatever was going on between Blaine and Kurt was over and there therefore the Warblers and their legacy would remain intact.

Soon the three of them were in the usual practice room, where the other Warblers were talking about the songs that were to be rehearsed according to the schedule for Wednesdays. Wes clapped his hands to ask for silence and the sound of the students' voices stopped completely.

"All right, we're staring off with our third choice for our second number at Regionals," he said as everyone went to their places and Kurt sat on the couch. "From the top!"

The chorus of Warblers was so magnificently in sync.

That's how much I love you
That's how much I need you

Kurt gave a confident look at Blaine and with this, the latter started singing.

And I can't stand you
Must everything you do make me wanna smile
Can I not like it for awhile

but you won't let me
You upset me girl, then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget that I was upset
Can't remember what you did

He was smiling and dancing slowly around the room, mostly paying attention to what Kurt was doing, which was nice.

(But I hate it)
You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you
For too long, that's wrong

(But, I hate it)
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don't wanna fuss and fight no more
So I despise that I adore you

Blaine jumped on a chair and kept singing, looking right at Kurt. It felt weird but sweet to be watched that way.

And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so…

When Kurt least expected it, Blaine was already beside him on the couch, singing right to him, shameless of whatever the others might think.

And you completely know the power that you have
The only one that makes me laugh
Sad and it's not fair how you take advantage of the fact that I
Love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain't right

That's when the song went right to the bridge and Blaine stood up, closing his eyes.

One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me
And your kiss won't make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me

The smile Blaine flashed left him completely speechless. Yes, Blaine had to be singing to him, or… not. Kurt had to mentally kick himself for thinking that Blaine had magically decided to reciprocate his feelings. Damn it, he already knew that wasn't going anywhere, and he hated being so vulnerable sometimes.

And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so..

One more chorus and the song found its end. Everyone congratulated Blaine and he was very humble about the compliments. Then Wes turned to the Warblers and announced, "Great job, guys! Check your lyrics, we start with the second choice for our first number in ten."

"Hey, that was awesome," Kurt told Blaine as the latter sat beside him again, still smiling. "We're definitely gonna win at Regionals."

"I just wish my singing would be more useful."

"Are you kidding me? You're really talented, Blaine. Your solos are breath-taking."

"They don't serve me well when it comes to showing someone that I love him," Blaine said, a little bit bitter.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Forget about Jeremiah! He can get lost."

"It's not so easy. After the Gap Attach, I'll never try to confess my feelings to anyone again. I think I'm officially incapable of pulling the romance card."

"Don't be foolish, and for the record, we shouldn't joke about that anymore," Kurt muttered, reaching out for Blaine. "You've got the moves, the voice, the personality." He gave him a warm smile as he arranged Blaine's jacket. "I think you're gonna do just fine."

Blaine didn't answer, but he smiled back sweetly and blushed, like Kurt had brought just a little bit of hope to his heart.