Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters... They belong to the amazing Louise Rennison.

Previously at the end of Are these my Basoomas I See Before Me?

I said, "So, do you want to be my girlfriend? I mean, do you want to…"

He put his arm around me.

"Go on then, Sex Kitty, I'll be your girlfriend. It'll probably all end in tears. Mine. But… I am Dave the Biscuit. I will survive. Give us a snog and possibly a Rummachen unterhalb der Taille. Go on, you know you want to."

And I did want to.

1. Blimey O'Reilly's trouser's... Bushes don't have beards

Saturday, October 22

9:00 am

My uber gorgey girlfriend is taking me out to lunch. To some tres tres marvy restaurant.

Can't believe I asked him to be my girlfriend. The Barmy Army found it hilarious: Rollo was spying on us. He's so vair annoying. He keeps texting Dave and making rudey dudey comments.

9:20 am

Libby's banging at my door. She can't get in, because I've pushed my wardrobe up against the door.

'GINGEY! BAD BOY! OPEN DOOR!' I miss Dave. And I can actually admit that now, without being full of red bottomosity.

9:45 am

Phone rang.

Vati shouted up the stairs. 'Georgia, get the bloody phone!'

'Sure, it's not like I'm busy getting ready for a date or anything!'

'Don't be so bloody cheeky, young lady!'

1 minute later

On the phone with Jas (or Radio Jas, as I've neatly re-named her).

'Gee. It's me.'

'Yes. But is it you?'

'Huh... Gee, it's Jas.'

'Oui my bestest pally, I know. Now, what is it that you called about?'

'Err... What time's your date with Dave the Laugh?'

'Since went, may I ask, have you been interested in my activities with Mr. Laugh?'

'Well... Err... you know... I... Well... RoRo... and erm... I...' I'm speaking to Ellen. When did that happen?

Hung up on Jas. I would be there hours, listening to her dithering.

3 minutes later

Phone rang again.

I answered. 'Jas, if you're still dithering about me and Dave, then I don't wanna speak to you.'

'You just can't stop talking about me, can you Kittykat? I don't blame you: I am Jack the Biscuit after all.'

'Dave...' Oh Lord Sandra's undercrackers, it's Dave. And I'm not wearing any makeup.

'I'm just checking that My Sex Kitty isn't going to stand me up at the uber cool restaurant I'm taking her too.' I've gone all jelliod. Dave's voice is so marvy: it makes me more jelliod, than both Masimo and Robbie combine. I bet you never thought I'd be saying that about Dave.

1 minute later

'Err... Kittykat. Are you still there?' Gadzooks, I'm still on the phone to Dave.

'Nrrrghh...' Oops. 'I mean yes, I'm still here.'

Dave laughed.

'Coolio. S'later.'

Back in my bedroom

Dave hung up on me. How rude.

Libby's in my room now. She's jumping on my bed.

'I'M A BLOODY TEAPOT AND THIS IS MY SPOUT.' I don't know where she learns all these words from.

1 minute late

Door bell rang.

'Georgia, there's someone at the door!'

'That's nice!'

'Don't be so bloody cheeky!' Oh right, that's were Libby learns her colourful language from.

10:18 am

The Ace Gang are sitting in my bedroom. We're painting each other's nails.

'Where is Mr. Laugh taking you for lunch?' Jools was in the middle of painting my toes. Jas, Rosie, Mabs and Ellen were all staring at me.

'I don't know. He's picking me up at twelve.' Rosie pulled out her bread, and started to look thoughtful about my response.

'Apparently, Dave the Laugh doesn't want anyone interrupting his one on one time with Kittykat.'

1 minute later

I'm still wearing that weird goldfish expression. I wasn't sure how to reply to RoRo's comment. I loved that Dave didn't want anyone to interrupt us. Not that anyone ever interrupts me and Dave. We're normally snogging the living day light out of each other, in a brush somewhere. Or there was that one time in RoRo's closet, but that's a different story.

11:00 am

Ace Gang have gone.

Bugger, I only have an hour to get ready for my date with Dave.

5 minutes later

I've wrote a schedule. This will be my all time personal best.

20 minutes - Choose an outfit and put face mask on.

5 minutes - Get dressing into outfit.

20 minutes - Remove face mask, do hair and makeup.

5 minutes - Choose accessories and pack bag.

11: 10 am

Skirt or dress?

Skirt... I can wear my little red tartan one, with black tights and my black biker boots.

Or my little black dress. All sophisticated and gorgey, with Mutti's black heels.

3 minutes later

I'm going with skirt, but then the dress is more Sex Kitty-ish.

Which would Dave prefer?

1 minute later

He probably wouldn't care. I can hear him now.

'Kittykat, you're gorgeous in everything. But it you want my opinion, I think you should wear your nuddy pants.' Cheeky Cat.

11: 50 am

Ready with 10 minutes to spare.

Surprised? Me too.

12:00 pm

Sitting at my window, watching my vair gorgey boyfriend walk down the street.

He winked at me, when he noticed me in the window. I head-butted the window. Not on purpose you loons. I was leaning on the sill, with my head in my hands. My hands slipped and I head-butted the window.

Dave laughed like a loon on loon tablets.

5 minutes later

Now that Dave had composed himself. He knocked on my front door. I rubbed my head, before grabbing my clutch bag and heading downstairs.

Mutti made it to the door before me. She's wearing her see through nightie. Her nunga-nunga are literally hanging out the top of it. Dave's eyes are almost popping out of their sockets.

I glared at him.

'Hi Mrs. Nicol...'

'Connie.'

'Yeah. I meant that... Would it be alright if I took Kit- Georgia out for lunch?'

Awww. That's so sweet. He's asking for permission to take me out on our date.

2 minutes later

My Mutti's so embarrassing. Dave's still staring at her basoomas. I coughed. Ended up coughing like a loon.

'Awww... Sweetie. Maybe you shouldn't go out if you've got a cold coming.' Mutti pressed her hand to my forehead. 'I'll take you to see the doctor tomorrow.' I knew that was coming: she's not your average concerned parent. If I had a cold, it just meant she got to see doctor 'gorgey' Gilhooley, aka doctor Clooney.

12:10 pm

After dragging Dave away from my house and it's prozzie occupant, we walked hand in hand towards town.

'You look very sexy today, Sex Kitty.' I'd chosen to wear my little black dress eventually. Makeup was minimal, with charcoal smoky eye shadow: and my hair was up in a pretty curly manner.

I smiled at Dave.

'You don't look bad yourself.' He was in a pair of fab denim jeans, with a casual kinda shirt and loose tie. He also had his blazer on, with the sleeves pushed up. He was very yummy.

12:15 pm

Dave attacked me. Straight in at number 5 on the snogging scale.

1 minute later

Not sure how we ended up in a phone box.

Bit of number 6. Dave is the master of nib libbling.

He started to trail his lips away from mine. Down my cheek to my neck: 6 ¾.

1 minute later

Felt his hands on my nunga-nunga. Cheeky cat. Number 7 though. I moaned out loud; which was embarrassing, because some old lady then knocked on the phone box door. She muttered to herself as me and Dave left the phone box.

'Bloody teenagers, when I was young...'

Dave and I ran for it. We didn't stop until we reached the park, where we burst out laughing.

3 minutes later

Snogging Dave again.

This time on a park bench. He didn't try number 7 again.

1:00 pm

Finally reached the restaurant. Dave had booked us a table for two. It was outside in a little garden. Tres tres romantic. He even pulled my chair out for me.

'After you Kittykat.' I smiled.

'Dave, this is so cute.'

'Anything for you.' I was going jelliod again. Dave kissed me on the forehead, before sitting opposite me.

1:12 pm

'Order anything you like the look of Kitty.'

I knew what I liked the look of: I like the yummy Dave the Tart sitting in front of me.

'Dave the Tart?' Bugger. Did I say that out loud?

'Erm... yeah... I mean... Err... that's... well... you're...'

'Wow... Chill Ellen. Give me my Sex Kitty back.' I blushed.

'Sorry. But it's kinda embarrassing.'

1 minute late

Telling Dave about the Cake Shop of Agony.

'Well, when... when I had general horn. I erm... had a little analogy for you, Robbie and the Handbag Horse. It was a cake shop: Robbie was Robbie Éclair, Mas was Italian Cakey and you were Dave the Tart. I choose Dave the Tart in the end. And he's quite yummy.'

1:15 pm

Dave and I ordered our food. Dave's in a very good mood, now that I'd told him about the cake shop. We held hands under the table. I think, it's because I called Mas, a Handbag Horse.

3 minutes later

I attacked Dave. We're snogging over the table.

Straight in at number 5.

5 minutes later

Our food came. I thought the poor waiter was going to have a nervy b.

'Cheers mate.' Dave acting as if nothing happened.

We started to eat. We talked about RoRo's upcoming party.

'Has the Viking bride chose a theme for her next shindig?'

'Don't know. All the Ace Gang have talked about is me and you. Jazzy Spazzy and Jools asked where you were taking me, but I didn't know.'

'Rollo and Tom have been bugging me too. But I don't kiss and tell.' I ate another fork full of my food. Dave was staring at me. It was giving me, quite a nice fuzzy feeling actually.

1:54 pm

We've been talking for long while. It's nice: how we can be matey type mates and official snogging partners.

'That bush over there is very interesting: I believe it's a Viking Shrub.'

What? Why's he talking about bushes? Since when, did my gorgey boyfriend, become Ms. Huffy Knickers (aka Jazzy Spazzy, wise woman of the forest).

'What in the name of Jazzy's gigantic knickers are you talking about?' Dave, by now, was staring over my shoulder. I turned in my seat.

BlimeyO'Reilly's trouser's ... Bushes don't have beards. The Ace Gang were spying on us.