Are You a Mother Effer?/Chris and Wyatt in their 20's with slashy overtones (but no incest )

Chapter 3, Part 2

A/N: It's been a few years since I perused this site… Howdy . No bother.
However: Ehhh unggh: is anybody else utterly embarrassed at their past drunken high school typing's but too sentimental to ever delete ANYTHING, like me? Well, in honor of the illiterate creep, here we go:

"How'd you know?" Wyatt asked his mother again as his dad closed the door to his and Chris's childhood bedroom. The three of them stood in the hall saying nothing for a beat before Piper piped up.

"Mel told me a few months ago," she started, smugly, "that both of them have been orbing in to sleep in their own beds all the time since starting college. She's here now. Since she told me I've found him here six times." She placed her hands together as if to start clapping. "It's cute."

Suddenly, they all heard a flush and another door on the opposite end of the hall opened. Out of the bathroom popped Melinda Halliwell who looked her mother right in the eye with a raised eyebrow and, one or two levels below her daytime voice, said, "Liar."

Mel narrowed her eyes, taking a few steps toward the group, and, to an outsider, she might have actually been attempting to set ill will upon her mother by the mere actions of thoughts. However, she never actually meant those stern looks – they were meant for humor and inside-teasing between the woman who was both a mother and a sister to her and herself, especially since Mel had hit her 20's. "You know damn well I only did that, like, twice a month to get away from the harsh loudness of roommate sex," she said, ending with a squeak then a smile.

Leo chuckled and Piper said, yet again, "Language." If it had been Wyatt, not Mel, he would have been getting called out for saying worse terms and ones in much less endearing contexts. If it were Chris he wouldn't have said anything, just would have waited with eyes downcast for the cooing to end before he reverted to his solitary quiet time. Leo respected his daughter's tastefully brazen attitude and her air of levity expressed during times that might otherwise be stressful (and some that would have been otherwise pleasant if not for her…) and he congratulated her with more laughs.

"Mel!" Wyatt came up and hugged his sister. They briefly put their foreheads together before pulling away and smiling, looking each other up and down, as if they could have changed significantly in the last three weeks.

Wyatt would never rat, but Melinda was actually one of the primary reasons Wyatt was such a handful in high school. Being two grades ahead of him, yet in similar social groups due to Wyatt's position as a JV football player as a Freshman then Varsity in his sophomore year while Mel had been a Jr and a Senior and in classes with Wyatt's teammates. In fact, Melinda's dating pool was basically the same as Wyatt's friendship pool and they learned quickly in those two years how to use each other to have as much fun as possible.

"Hey Ma?" Mel said.

"Yeah… dah..?"

"Yeah, well I'm going to sleep at Wyatt and Chris's too, but I'll leave a note for Chris in his room if he comes back right after he gets up telling him we're having breakfast here… Can we have breakfast here?" Piper smiled vaguely and nodded, obviously allowing herself to start falling back into sleep mode. Mel paused to think a moment, "Aunties aren't randomly stopping by in the morning, too, are they?"

"Shouldn't be," Piper mumbled.

Both Mel and Leo looked happy about this while Wyatt looked indifferent and Piper slightly annoyed. "Cool," Mel stated. "I love those girls and their hubbies and their children, but I am really looking forward to an awesome breakfast with just the five of us."

"Mm hmm," Piper said before smiling sweetly and hugging Mel goodnight followed by hugging Wyatt and saying, "I love you, Pumpkin," before heading back in her slippers and light pink bathrobe to the master bedroom.

Leo said his goodbyes as well then Mel led Wyatt to her old bedroom where a pale forest green duffle bag sat on the twin bed.

Mel leaped and bounced off her butt on the springy bed and said, after moving the duffle to her lap, "you know, I would come to sleep in your bed, you selfish queen-sized hogger, not my own, back in the day. This springy piece of shit…" She twirled a few scraggly dozens of hairs around her fingers, seemingly forming a silky dirty blonde rope, and scooted farther onto the bed, leaning against the pillows and letting the hair fall loose. She opened the biggest, draw-string compartment of the duffle, pulled out a dark blue, canvas, three inch by four inch zipper-pouch, stuck it between her pointer finger and her ring finger like a cigar and said, "Race ya to twerp's room!

A/N: That's a preview for the new stuff… So tempted to delete so much from this profile and start anew…

Next chapter will include:
- showing Chris' bisexual side
- giving Chris a potential mate
- other weird things happening to Piper and Leo's three kids at a carnival