Disclaimer- I got NADA!
A/N- Oh wow, I'm so glad you reviewed, it made me so happy, I wanted to make other ppl happy so I wrote, even though I might piss someone off with my writing but W/E!!! As some ppl who flamed my other story need to learn, it's a form of expression so THERE MEANIES HA! LOSERS. Ahem, I hope you enjoy, I decided to shed some light on what really happened w. Elrond due to a review so here you go, please R&R-
*The Ball Cont*
Night had wrapped its dark cloak upon the lands of Middle Earth, yet the elves of Mirkwood carried on with their festivities. As the night progressed, the little ones were sent to bed while there elders remained, breaking out the strong liquor. The party grew in intensity and wildness, elves everywhere breaking out of their stoic shells and becoming feral with the liquor. However, one group did not seem as carefree as the others.
Sitting together in an alcove, a group of regal looking elves spoke together in earnest.
"Something must be done," Elrond proclaimed loudly, banging his hand on the table in what he hoped was a show of his masculinity. The Lord of Rivendell had been deeply affected that night by Legolas' careless words, forced to relive that painful moment in his life…
**Flashback** (A/N this 'lil scene gets a bit…er raunchy but you don't gotta read! And its not *that* bad)
"Thish ish good shtuff!" Elrond proclaimed loudly to Glorfindel, slurring his speech while gulping as much Dwarvish ale as he could. Rivulets of the amber ale streamed down his face.
"I'm… I'm…" Glorfindel tried to talk around his jug of ale. "I'm BAMBOOZELED!" He announced happily. Elrond snorted then began to cackle. The pair began to break out in hysterics, the ale sloshing on the ground around them. Had they not been trashed they would have noticed Thranduil approaching them across the grounds.
"Is everything all right?" He asked dryly, eyeing the inebriated pair with distaste.
"We's bamboozeled!" Elrond replied brightly. Glorfindel who had been drinking from a puddle of ale on the marble floor, eyed the newcomer.
"Hey baby, waz a niiice place like you doing in a girl like this?"
"I beg your pardon!?" Thranduil barked, unsure if he had heard Glorfindel correctly.
"Alwight baby! Wanna play haahd ti-get huh?" With elven speed the ancient elve's hand had struck out, contacting with the King of Mirkwood's rump. Needless to say, the aforementioned king nearly died of shock until…
"Wow, 'ou are a pretty 'un, C'mere!" Elrond reached out and grabbed the king snaking his hands behind his head and firmly planting a kiss on Thranduil's lips. His tongue slipped out, making contact with Thranduil's. Glorfindel rose and stood behind the king, his hands stroking the kind's back. Things started to heat up until…
"By Elbereth what are you doing? Is this how you treat all your diplomatic liaisons??!" Thranduil roared. Elrond grinned, rolling his eyes and stuck out his tongue. Glorfindel promptly vomited on Thranduil's shoes and passed out.
**End Flashback** (see not so bad…)
Elrond shuddered at the memory. It had taken him a solid day to convince Thranduil that it hadn't been him, but the liquor. Ever since then, their relationship had been strained. He glanced at Glorfindel who was eyeing him strangely. The blonde elf had no memory of the night and therefore had no idea why his lord was acting so odd.
"Really, and just what do you propose we do, Lord Elrond?" Alaguar, Captain of the Guards demanded. "Do you just propose to march in there without a plan like some drunken dwarf in heat?" Elves around the table winced at his choice of words, dwarvish heat was not something to joke about. "I do not think you should take such a situation lightly, my lord. These are not common foes, but rather those which possess such malevolent qualities as to turn one's hair white!" Elrond blinked in amazement, glancing nervously at a very confused Glorfindel. Had he been misinformed…?
"Horrible! They come from above, the sides, hell, even below! They fight like dwarves on Gandalf's virility potion! They fight to the death, scratch and Ai! The teeth, they bite worse than a dwarf's love bite in the middle of a steamy night of passion!" Elves all around the table were beginning to look a green at the use of the words " steamy night of passion" and "dwarf" in the same sentence.
Elrond was getting rather nervous. He knew he had been distracted this night (with good reason!) but he knew he had not forgotten the reason for coming to Mirkwood.
"Forgive me Alaguar, but are we not discussing the matter of the Chaaliam Squirrel infestation our lands are dealing with?" Elrond added tentatively. The old warrior turned his dark head to Elrond and nodded, stating gravely,
"Such an infestation of tremendous proportions the likes of which we have never seen before, my lord."
"Right, but…" How to put this in terms delicate enough…
"Aren't you overreacting? They are just squirrels." Good old Glorfindel, always there when needed.
"JUST Squirrels?!?" Alaguar raged. "Ai, such an understatement! Those bastards, they're terrible! You think they're just squirrels, ha! Wait till you see them in action! One of them, they jumped us when we were out on border patrol," His eyes gained the far off look of one reliving a painful experience. "We tried to hold them back, really, but they just kept coming. Then Tanar fell off his horse, and a big one, he got my ear…" With a slightly shaking hand, he peeled back the dark curtain of hair to reveal a perfect elven ear with a tiny band-aid placed over the lobe. "'Tis as painful as the burn one acquires from a dwarf's beard on one's more intimate…" He was cut off by a younger elf passing out while another raced to the lavatory. "Ah! Think that's bad you should see them, teeth, claws, GRR!" Alaguar promptly began to demonstrate the squirrel's fighting techniques, clawing the air with his hands and snapping his teeth. Thranduil, supporting the unconscious elf with his hands, trying to prevent him from drowning in his sleep, signaled several servants to take the youth away.
"Alaguar." He began. "I appreciate your briefing, it will prove most useful, I'm sure. In the meantime, there is a disturbance in the…" he searched for the right place to send his captain… the elf that had escaped to the lavatory was just emerging…no that wouldn't do. Images sprang to his mind of Alaguar preventing anyone from using the facilities before he had searched them. The bar? No that would bring up bad memories… "The storeroom. Yes, some mild disturbance where your experience is required." Alaguar puffed up with pride and set off to complete his task. Thranduil meanwhile turned back to his guests.
Glorfindel turned to Elrond.
"Well, that was queer." Glorfindel began. Elrond immediately looked up, Thranduil's eyes met him, narrowing slightly.
"Forgive him, he has never recovered from the time he became inebriated upon ale and slept with a dwarf. Normally he isn't quite so open about his…experience."
"It is perfectly alright." The two elven lords stared at each other for a few tense seconds.
"Yes, well, I plan to begin the extermination as soon as possible." Thranduil began.
"Yes! Of course, as soon as possible."
"However, the youths might be affected… what with all the excitement, there will be few to watch them."
"Yes, I was sending my own to Lothlorien. Perhaps we could pick up Legolas along the way?" Thranduil studied Elrond carefully, trying to find an ulterior motive. Finding the elf lord to be honest in his intentions he agreed. He was about to talk when a terrified scream cut him off…
"Legolas!" He sprang from his seat and raced to his son's side. The youngster, tears streaming down his face latched onto his father.
"Legolas, what's the matter?"
The child managed to mutter between his sobs : "He got Pookie!" Thranduil recognized the name of Legolas's stuffed bear.
"Who did?"
"Him!" He screamed in a childish fit of rage. The object of his anger was a small dog, with a torn up bear laying between his paws. The other elves who had accompanied him dispersed, seeing the situation as normal, or as normal as things ever were with Legolas.
"Oh. Legolas, it's just a bear…"
"It's not jut a bear it's Pookie!" He raged, his fury soon turned to sadness and he began to sob. "Da..Daddy! M mmake him betteeer!" He soon was whining. Thranduil rubber his temples. Where was a good bottle of wine when he needed one? He gingerly retrieved the torn bear, and berated the dog.
"You'll make him better, now?" Legolas asked looking up at him with wide blue eyes, which held the tell-tale
if-you-don't-do-this-for-me-I'll-crawl-in-a-hole-and-die-and-it-will-be-all-your-fault look. Thranduil sighed, where was Hirith when he needed her?
"Of course, see all he needs is a little bandaging."
"Really?!"
"Sure." Picking up some of the linen napkins, Thranduil bandaged the bear as best he could. Which proved to be a difficult task.
"See all you must do is take this and tie it like so…#%$^! Stay put! Then you !@&*! Argh! And then you…$#^*!" Thranduil was having extreme difficulty with the task, Legolas meanwhile had pulled up a chair and was watching with great amusement. Finally, when Thranduil was about to throw the mangled bear into the nearest fire and give up Hirith arrived. Grinning, she took the bear from the stressed out king.
"Clearly you didn't pay attention to your me all those years ago." She added. Thranduil groaned.
"Legolas, you need to go to bed. We have a big day tomorrow."
"Alright daddy. But you gotta tuck me in."
Whatever Legolas wanted at this point, Thranduil didn't care, he picked up his son, nodding affirmative.
"And you gotta read me the little Elvish Horse that Could." How many times had he read that story? About a million, to each of his children, but he no longer cared. He nodded.
"And you gotta sing the Honeybee song." Another nod. Whatever it took, so that he could get some peace and quiet.
"And then we gotta…"
Hirith grinned at the retreating pair. They were so cute together, Father and son.
End.
Whheew! It's gotta be at least 100 degrees in this room! Fan, must have fan…
Well, I hope you like it, I kinda pushed it a lil, but I figured I owe you guys, your so nice reviewing. My depression has lifted so I hope to type the next chapter ASAP before I get bogged down in finals. Arwen is coming soon! Heheh. Ok ppls now please REVIEW!!!
A/N- Oh wow, I'm so glad you reviewed, it made me so happy, I wanted to make other ppl happy so I wrote, even though I might piss someone off with my writing but W/E!!! As some ppl who flamed my other story need to learn, it's a form of expression so THERE MEANIES HA! LOSERS. Ahem, I hope you enjoy, I decided to shed some light on what really happened w. Elrond due to a review so here you go, please R&R-
*The Ball Cont*
Night had wrapped its dark cloak upon the lands of Middle Earth, yet the elves of Mirkwood carried on with their festivities. As the night progressed, the little ones were sent to bed while there elders remained, breaking out the strong liquor. The party grew in intensity and wildness, elves everywhere breaking out of their stoic shells and becoming feral with the liquor. However, one group did not seem as carefree as the others.
Sitting together in an alcove, a group of regal looking elves spoke together in earnest.
"Something must be done," Elrond proclaimed loudly, banging his hand on the table in what he hoped was a show of his masculinity. The Lord of Rivendell had been deeply affected that night by Legolas' careless words, forced to relive that painful moment in his life…
**Flashback** (A/N this 'lil scene gets a bit…er raunchy but you don't gotta read! And its not *that* bad)
"Thish ish good shtuff!" Elrond proclaimed loudly to Glorfindel, slurring his speech while gulping as much Dwarvish ale as he could. Rivulets of the amber ale streamed down his face.
"I'm… I'm…" Glorfindel tried to talk around his jug of ale. "I'm BAMBOOZELED!" He announced happily. Elrond snorted then began to cackle. The pair began to break out in hysterics, the ale sloshing on the ground around them. Had they not been trashed they would have noticed Thranduil approaching them across the grounds.
"Is everything all right?" He asked dryly, eyeing the inebriated pair with distaste.
"We's bamboozeled!" Elrond replied brightly. Glorfindel who had been drinking from a puddle of ale on the marble floor, eyed the newcomer.
"Hey baby, waz a niiice place like you doing in a girl like this?"
"I beg your pardon!?" Thranduil barked, unsure if he had heard Glorfindel correctly.
"Alwight baby! Wanna play haahd ti-get huh?" With elven speed the ancient elve's hand had struck out, contacting with the King of Mirkwood's rump. Needless to say, the aforementioned king nearly died of shock until…
"Wow, 'ou are a pretty 'un, C'mere!" Elrond reached out and grabbed the king snaking his hands behind his head and firmly planting a kiss on Thranduil's lips. His tongue slipped out, making contact with Thranduil's. Glorfindel rose and stood behind the king, his hands stroking the kind's back. Things started to heat up until…
"By Elbereth what are you doing? Is this how you treat all your diplomatic liaisons??!" Thranduil roared. Elrond grinned, rolling his eyes and stuck out his tongue. Glorfindel promptly vomited on Thranduil's shoes and passed out.
**End Flashback** (see not so bad…)
Elrond shuddered at the memory. It had taken him a solid day to convince Thranduil that it hadn't been him, but the liquor. Ever since then, their relationship had been strained. He glanced at Glorfindel who was eyeing him strangely. The blonde elf had no memory of the night and therefore had no idea why his lord was acting so odd.
"Really, and just what do you propose we do, Lord Elrond?" Alaguar, Captain of the Guards demanded. "Do you just propose to march in there without a plan like some drunken dwarf in heat?" Elves around the table winced at his choice of words, dwarvish heat was not something to joke about. "I do not think you should take such a situation lightly, my lord. These are not common foes, but rather those which possess such malevolent qualities as to turn one's hair white!" Elrond blinked in amazement, glancing nervously at a very confused Glorfindel. Had he been misinformed…?
"Horrible! They come from above, the sides, hell, even below! They fight like dwarves on Gandalf's virility potion! They fight to the death, scratch and Ai! The teeth, they bite worse than a dwarf's love bite in the middle of a steamy night of passion!" Elves all around the table were beginning to look a green at the use of the words " steamy night of passion" and "dwarf" in the same sentence.
Elrond was getting rather nervous. He knew he had been distracted this night (with good reason!) but he knew he had not forgotten the reason for coming to Mirkwood.
"Forgive me Alaguar, but are we not discussing the matter of the Chaaliam Squirrel infestation our lands are dealing with?" Elrond added tentatively. The old warrior turned his dark head to Elrond and nodded, stating gravely,
"Such an infestation of tremendous proportions the likes of which we have never seen before, my lord."
"Right, but…" How to put this in terms delicate enough…
"Aren't you overreacting? They are just squirrels." Good old Glorfindel, always there when needed.
"JUST Squirrels?!?" Alaguar raged. "Ai, such an understatement! Those bastards, they're terrible! You think they're just squirrels, ha! Wait till you see them in action! One of them, they jumped us when we were out on border patrol," His eyes gained the far off look of one reliving a painful experience. "We tried to hold them back, really, but they just kept coming. Then Tanar fell off his horse, and a big one, he got my ear…" With a slightly shaking hand, he peeled back the dark curtain of hair to reveal a perfect elven ear with a tiny band-aid placed over the lobe. "'Tis as painful as the burn one acquires from a dwarf's beard on one's more intimate…" He was cut off by a younger elf passing out while another raced to the lavatory. "Ah! Think that's bad you should see them, teeth, claws, GRR!" Alaguar promptly began to demonstrate the squirrel's fighting techniques, clawing the air with his hands and snapping his teeth. Thranduil, supporting the unconscious elf with his hands, trying to prevent him from drowning in his sleep, signaled several servants to take the youth away.
"Alaguar." He began. "I appreciate your briefing, it will prove most useful, I'm sure. In the meantime, there is a disturbance in the…" he searched for the right place to send his captain… the elf that had escaped to the lavatory was just emerging…no that wouldn't do. Images sprang to his mind of Alaguar preventing anyone from using the facilities before he had searched them. The bar? No that would bring up bad memories… "The storeroom. Yes, some mild disturbance where your experience is required." Alaguar puffed up with pride and set off to complete his task. Thranduil meanwhile turned back to his guests.
Glorfindel turned to Elrond.
"Well, that was queer." Glorfindel began. Elrond immediately looked up, Thranduil's eyes met him, narrowing slightly.
"Forgive him, he has never recovered from the time he became inebriated upon ale and slept with a dwarf. Normally he isn't quite so open about his…experience."
"It is perfectly alright." The two elven lords stared at each other for a few tense seconds.
"Yes, well, I plan to begin the extermination as soon as possible." Thranduil began.
"Yes! Of course, as soon as possible."
"However, the youths might be affected… what with all the excitement, there will be few to watch them."
"Yes, I was sending my own to Lothlorien. Perhaps we could pick up Legolas along the way?" Thranduil studied Elrond carefully, trying to find an ulterior motive. Finding the elf lord to be honest in his intentions he agreed. He was about to talk when a terrified scream cut him off…
"Legolas!" He sprang from his seat and raced to his son's side. The youngster, tears streaming down his face latched onto his father.
"Legolas, what's the matter?"
The child managed to mutter between his sobs : "He got Pookie!" Thranduil recognized the name of Legolas's stuffed bear.
"Who did?"
"Him!" He screamed in a childish fit of rage. The object of his anger was a small dog, with a torn up bear laying between his paws. The other elves who had accompanied him dispersed, seeing the situation as normal, or as normal as things ever were with Legolas.
"Oh. Legolas, it's just a bear…"
"It's not jut a bear it's Pookie!" He raged, his fury soon turned to sadness and he began to sob. "Da..Daddy! M mmake him betteeer!" He soon was whining. Thranduil rubber his temples. Where was a good bottle of wine when he needed one? He gingerly retrieved the torn bear, and berated the dog.
"You'll make him better, now?" Legolas asked looking up at him with wide blue eyes, which held the tell-tale
if-you-don't-do-this-for-me-I'll-crawl-in-a-hole-and-die-and-it-will-be-all-your-fault look. Thranduil sighed, where was Hirith when he needed her?
"Of course, see all he needs is a little bandaging."
"Really?!"
"Sure." Picking up some of the linen napkins, Thranduil bandaged the bear as best he could. Which proved to be a difficult task.
"See all you must do is take this and tie it like so…#%$^! Stay put! Then you !@&*! Argh! And then you…$#^*!" Thranduil was having extreme difficulty with the task, Legolas meanwhile had pulled up a chair and was watching with great amusement. Finally, when Thranduil was about to throw the mangled bear into the nearest fire and give up Hirith arrived. Grinning, she took the bear from the stressed out king.
"Clearly you didn't pay attention to your me all those years ago." She added. Thranduil groaned.
"Legolas, you need to go to bed. We have a big day tomorrow."
"Alright daddy. But you gotta tuck me in."
Whatever Legolas wanted at this point, Thranduil didn't care, he picked up his son, nodding affirmative.
"And you gotta read me the little Elvish Horse that Could." How many times had he read that story? About a million, to each of his children, but he no longer cared. He nodded.
"And you gotta sing the Honeybee song." Another nod. Whatever it took, so that he could get some peace and quiet.
"And then we gotta…"
Hirith grinned at the retreating pair. They were so cute together, Father and son.
End.
Whheew! It's gotta be at least 100 degrees in this room! Fan, must have fan…
Well, I hope you like it, I kinda pushed it a lil, but I figured I owe you guys, your so nice reviewing. My depression has lifted so I hope to type the next chapter ASAP before I get bogged down in finals. Arwen is coming soon! Heheh. Ok ppls now please REVIEW!!!