I know I stopped updating for way too long, and I apologize. I also apologize for the absolutely inexcusable length of this chapter, but I'm trying to get back into writing this type of humour after taking such a long break from it. It's kind of not going very well.

.-.

DAY 5

3:26 pm

Aizawa, to say the least, was not happy. In fact, Aizawa could quite easily be described as currently being as far from happy as humanly possible. And, unlike the other times when he has found himself pissed off beyond belief, this time it has nothing to do with Matsuda or Ryuzaki. It does, however, have everything to do with Soichiro Yagami's daughter, Yumi, and that goddamn bad influence Mogi!

Just thinking about Mogi's story behind the reason both Yumi and her babysitter—Sayu—immediately reignited Aizawa's fury (if there was, in fact, any part of his anger that had actually managed to cool itself down enough to even need reigniting) because it's so obvious that the fucking bastard is fucking lying and damndamndamn him grahhhhh.

Some logical portion of his brain—currently being crippled under the crushing weight of his emotions—asked him if maybe he should calm down. The man considered this for a fraction of a second before deciding that no, no one needed to "calm down" here.

Aizawa slammed his fist against the glass of the interrogation room in which Mogi was being held, again giving the typically quiet man a bit of a start. Aizawa had been startling the man in this same manner at random intervals ever since L had gone off to interrogate Sayu and Yumi, only about five minutes before.

And what the fuck was up with that, anyway? ! Yumi didn't need to be fucking interrogated! She was just a little kid and was likely scared out of her mind.

Damn that Ryuzaki. Damn him. Damn Sayu for letting this happen. Damn her. Damn them all.

"Er, Aizawa?"

Aizawa blinked as Matsuda's tentative voice dragged him out of his reverie.

"Yes? What is it that you want, Matsuda?" The afro man was proud of himself. Despite the fact that the words were said in a tone that resembled speaking while chewing on marbles, Aizawa managed to keep his voice relatively calm as he turned to face the younger officer. But not before pounding again on the glass of the interrogation room to teach Mogi his lesson.

"I was just wondering…" –Matsuda seemed uncomfortable with how to go on— "I mean, you do realize that you are talking to yourself out loud, right?

"…"

Perhaps Aizawa needed to go calm himself down, after all.

DAY 5

3:59 pm

This was, to L, a very interesting situation.

It hadn't been very interesting until he had finished interrogating both of the young girls, because both of them had an entirely different version of what had happened.

This was obviously a conspiracy.

Sayu Yagami had told L that Mogi had come to Aizawa's house and uncovered a Barney collection, and that she had bothered him enough to let her and Yumi tag along with him. An interesting story, L decided, but completely inconsistent with the outrageous story Mogi had told him.

No one believed Mogi's story.

But little Yumi's story was much different.

Little Yumi's story involved talk of blackmail, murder, assaulting a cow's children, sitting on said cow-child, flying bats, breaking and entering, leaving no witnesses, keeping prisoners, and pegging people with a football.

The young girl's story was obviously the story that made the most logical sense.

But, for some reason, when L had explained this to Light, the boy had looked at him as if he had just tried to convince him that he used to conduct his investigations on a moon made of cheese. L didn't quite understand what Light found so illogical about Yumi's explanation.

Obviously, the young girl spoke of what was clearly about Mogi participating in criminal activities.

Namely, blackmailing the owners of a slaughterhouse into handing over ownership to him, at which time he proceeded to rape a cow and have it bear its children, and then beating it to death with a football. He then obviously had a vampire bat suck all the blood out of the cow's children, and then, upon realizing that Sayu and Yumi had witnessed the entire event, kidnapped them and held them prisoner.

…

Upon analyzing his hypothesis in greater detail, L decided that he really needed to get some sleep.

After thinking about the story he had told everyone, Mogi decided that maybe saying that he had been rescuing Sayu and Yumi from superman wasn't the best of best ideas. But, he could never think properly when he was nervous.

Oh my god, again, I'm really sorry that I was away for so long and then post this disappointment. I don't know when the next chapter will be, but I'm kind of lacking in motivation for this one. –hides-

~Ratt Kazamata, 1-01-2012

PS: Happy new year, anyway!