A/N: Yep, this is new. And yes, it will change soon. As you can see, these diary entries are from 2007, so there will be much more to this story than just the ramblings of a sixteen year old.

Lots of hearts to Lisa, Jenn and Alexia, who found the time and beta'd this thing.

September 14th, 2007

Dear Diary,

I find this extremely stupid. Keeping a diary and writing in it is not something I would do with my free time, but since Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill have been on a break, I have to occupy myself with something. Yes, diary, you might be rolling your eyes at my poor choice of TV entertainment, but not everyone can watch House and understand everything he's saying. Not to mention his games with Cuddy are getting a little old. I mean, grow up, be a man.

Anyway, that was not only the reason why I decided to start this diary. To be honest, it was because of the strangest thing that happened today. Yes, it was the highlight of my week, month, year – hell, of my life.

Edward Cullen finally noticed me.

I'm all swoony and shit.

Now, you might be looking at me like I'm a psycho or something, but don't. You don't know the whole story. I've had a crush on him for a while now (I think I'm in love!), and he's the hottest, most gorgeous guy I have ever laid my eyes on.

The problem, you ask?

Taken.

He's taken by Rosalie Hale, queen of all bitches, daughter of Angelina Jolie and some other great-looking guy you can come up with. He should be in his mid forties, early fifties, though.

Anyway, this might be a cliché to you, right? Poor, innocent girl can't have the guy of her dreams and then he finally notices her and – PUFF! – he's hers.

Well, it's not a cliché.

First of all, I'm not innocent or anything close to that. While I might be sixteen years old, I'm pretty "informed" for a teenager, which means I do know where ALL the places are, what sex is, how to do it, who to do it with, and all that crap. I've already made out with a few guys, too, so that's a bonus. I just need to lose the big "V".

And I'm afraid that's never going to happen, because the guy of my dreams is taken. So, I'll have to settle for someone like Mike Newton, who is nice and all that, but a complete asshole.

But let's not get carried away here.

Another reason why this isn't a cliché is the fact that he notices me, all right, but he has no intention of ever getting to know me or even considering having anything with me.

Why?

He's my brother's best friend, which technically makes me his little sister. And I think, Fuck that, friendships don't matter, but that's not true. Their friendship matters and I've seen the way they connect with each other. I know, I made them sound gay, but they lean on each other whenever they can. And I wouldn't destroy that given the chance, would I?

Of course I would.

And if my brother wasn't happy with that, fuck him, too. I'm a big girl now, and he can't control me.

But is that the only problem, really? He's never going to leave Rosalie, no matter how much crap she puts on his shoulders, how whiny and spoiled she is, and how much she rejects him and chooses other people over him; he will ALWAYS be there.

Why?

Because he loves her. In an obsessed, she's-my-new-toy kind of way. And can I blame him? He's my new shiny toy, too, and I would do anything he would ever ask of me.

But let's not get depressed, here. It's not what this is about.

He noticed me.

He NOTICED me.

He FUCKING NOTICED me.

And that's a big deal. Even if it was because my hair was all over the place and I looked like I was stoned; it doesn't matter. He still looked at me.

That's not something I'll forget so soon.

Charlie will be home in thirty minutes, so I'll have to find a place to hide you. I'll see you next Friday.

B.S.