A/N: There really is no excuse for this story. But I did see inside the little info booklet that came with my season two dvd of DBZ that said the Ginyu Force loved watching soap operas in their spare time, so...

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ or any of its characters-",

Vegeta: They get it! You STILL own nothing!"

Recoome: "Shut up, Vegeta".

Vegeta: "You stay out of this!"

Recoome: "Ginyu Force rules! Ginyu Force rules! Ginyu Force rules!"

Me and Vegeta: "SHUT UP!"

Me: "Anyway, I don't own Recoome, or Jeice, or Burtur, or Ginyu, or Vege-",

Vegeta: "Ha! No one owns me, the-",

Me: "Prince of all Saiyans, yeah, yeah, I know".

Vegeta: "Don't interrupt me in the middle of a sentence, Woman!"

Me: "Well then, forgive me, your royal whineness".

Vegeta: "DON'T YOU DARE MOCK ME!"

Me: "Ok, anyway, I do not own DBZ or anyone in it, Akira Toriyama does".

...

(After Krillin and Gohan teamed up with Vegeta, he led them to the spot where he hid the five Dragon Balls that he'd stolen from Frieza, only for the three to be stopped by Frieza's most elite warriors, the Ginyu Force. Now, the Ginyus are deciding who's gonna fight who.)

"I'll take Vegeta, the rest of you can decide who wants the two little ones", Ginyu said. "Aw, come on!" all four members of his team complained.

Guldo: "That's not fair!"

Recoome: "You took all the good fights last time!"

Jeice: "Let us have a turn!"

Burtur: "Come on!"

"Fine", Ginyu said, "In that case, I'll take the Dragon Balls back to Lord Frieza. You four can sort this out on your own". "WHOO-HOO! ALL RIGHT!" the other members cheered. "Who's the greatest captain in the universe?" Ginyu asked. "Uh...you got me, Sir, who?" Recoome asked. "WHAT?" Ginyu snarled. "Remember, Sir, it is Recoome", Burtur said nervously. "Three cheers for the greatest captain in the universe!" Guldo shouted. "You mean he's here?" Recoome asked, grinning stupidly. "Recoome, are you just plain?" Jeice demanded. "Why do you keep asking me trick questions?" Recoome whined. "Ok, let's try this again", Ginyu said, "Who's the greatest captain in the universe?" "You! Ginyu rules!" the team cheered. Ginyu flew off with the Dragon Balls, leaving the other four to decide who would fight who.

"Ok, we can't decide this randomly", Burtur said. "What are you gonna do? Flip a coin?" Vegeta sneered. "Of course not, why would we besmirch the time honored Ginyu Force tradition of Paper, Rock, Scissors?" Jeice asked. Vegeta rolled his eyes. Krillin and Gohan stood, watching in disbelief as the four Ginyus began to play Paper, Rock, Scissors. Vegeta sat down on the ground. "Vegeta, what are you doing?" Gohan asked. "You two might as well sit down too, this is going to take a while", Vegeta answered.

"Yay! I got Vegeta!" Recoome cheered twenty minutes later. "And I got the runts", Guldo pouted. "Quit complaining, at least you got someone", Burtur grumbled. Guldo glared at him. "Look on the bright side, when we get back to the ship, Frieza said he'll let us catch up on our soap", Recoome said. "You're right, Recoome", Jeice said, "Wow, I never thought I'd hear myself say that!"

Vegeta groaned. "What's wrong?" Gohan asked. "Trust me, kid, you're lucky you didn't have to endure that", Vegeta answered.

(Flashback)

"Lord Frieza, it's starting!" Zarbon called. "Don't start without me!" Frieza called back, rushing into the room. "What exactly are we watching?" six-year-old Vegeta asked. "When Planets and Hearts Collide", Frieza and Zarbon chorused. "Come on, do we have to watch this again?" Raditz groaned. "This show is a must! We dare not miss a single episode!" Frieza declared. "Lord Frieza, look! It's an entire marathon!" Zarbon squealed happily. Oh, how utterly delightful!" Frieza exclaimed. "Indeed, Sir", Zarbon agreed. Raditz gagged and Vegeta looked at him curiously.

...Five minutes later...

"No, Zack! Don't listen to her!" Frieza wailed, "Pearl's cheating on you with Brad!" "But, Sir, he's cheating on her with Cindy", Zarbon pointed out. "Oh, that's right", Frieza replied. "Come on, the MMAs are on, the UFCs are on, even Nascar would be better than this!" Raditz groaned. "Nascar?" Nappa asked hopefully. "We're not going to watch that!" Frieza snapped. "Who wants to watch a bunch of foolish automobiles going around and around endlessly?" "Yes, one would get dizzy after watching just a few seconds of that, Sir", Zarbon added. "I highly agree, Zarbon", Frieza said. "Ok, guys, I'm out of here", Nappa said as he walked out of the room. "Why's that guy trying to eat that girl's face?" Vegeta asked. "You're too young to watch this!" Raditz yelled, clapping his hands over the six-year-old's eyes. "Get your hands off my eyes! I can't see!" Vegeta snapped. "Do you really want to see this?" Raditz asked. "Good point", Vegeta replied.

"Why are you depriving the child of one of the greatest works of the greatest works on television?" Frieza asked. "Oh, this is the best channel on the ship", Zarbon insisted. "It's also the only channel on the ship", Raditz shot back. "Are you complaining?" Frieza asked, his finger glowing. "No, Sir", the long-haired Saiyan answered quickly. "I can't rest, I have to find my half-father", a voice on the TV said. "Half-fath-? How is that even possible?" Vegeta screeched. Raditz shrugged. "I wouldn't expect an ignorant monkey like you to understand artistic license", Frieza sneered, "Now be quiet, Adriana and Thomas are about to announce their impending marriage". "But I thought Adriana was going to marry Howard", Raditz said. Frieza smiled and clapped his hands together. "Ah, so you have been keeping up!" "AAAAAAHHH!" sixteen-year-old Raditz screamed at the top of his lungs. Vegeta glared at the red-faced Raditz. "Zarbon, give me the popcorn bowl", the young prince snapped. "Who said you could have any popcorn?" Zarbon asked, lifting the popcorn bowl out of the Saiyan prince's reach. "I'm not gonna eat out of it", Vegeta said, "I'm gonna puke in it!"

"And Amber's baby belongs to Adam!" the TV announced. "No! It can't be!" Frieza and Zarbon cried out in unison. "That's it, we're out of here!" Raditz said, rushing Vegeta out of the room.

(Flashback ends)

"Now, let's hurry up and get this over with so we can make it back to the ship to watch our story, When Planets and Hearts Collide", Burtur urged. "Yeah, Frieza was nice enough to record every episode we missed", Recoome chortled. "We haven't seen an episode since the second season finale", Jeice said. "Wow, we got a lot of catching up to do!" Burtur exclaimed. Vegeta couldn't take the stupidity. "Zack and Cindy's son, Jake marries Amber's daughter, Karen, Brad's fifth wife's third son, Will becomes a monk after being left at the alter by Karen, and Anna is STILL searching for her half-father!" the Saiyan prince yelled. "Vegeta! We've been waiting for this for so long! How could you?" Burtur wailed. "Quite easily", Vegeta retorted. "Uh...Vegeta, it's kinda disturbing that you'd know something like that", Krillin said. Vegeta turned to face him. "I was on Frieza's ship, what do you expect?" he growled. "That's true", Krillin agreed. "But-", Gohan began. "It was the ONLY thing we were allowed to watch on his ship", Vegeta interuppted. "NOW YOU'RE REALLY GONNA GET IT!" the four Ginyu Force members yelled.