A/N: You have to believe me when I say that I never thought that this chapter would be this long.

II.

Crash!

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE STILL WON'T LET ME SEE HIM?"

Another crash, followed by the sound of scurrying feet of the Stuart inhabitants, presumably fleeing from the wrath of their hostile prefect.

"Logan, you have to stop destroying the common room!"

"I WILL STOP ONCE YOU LET ME IN THE DAMN ROOM, DEREK."

From his place on his bed, Julian further buries himself under the sheets in a futile attempt to block out the incredibly loud argument the two were having on the other side of the door. When he hears yet another crash, followed by the sound of glass breaking and a rather colorful array of curses, the actor lets out another groan.

"We've been through this before, Logan," Derek says, exasperated. "Julian's still fucking recuperating! He doesn't want anyone in there!"

"ANYONE EXCEPT YOU!" the blond screams back, his hands in tight fists to prevent himself from simply throwing Derek aside.

"Well I can't let him die, now can I?" Derek drones sarcastically, with a dramatic wave of his hand.

"Well, since the friend card obviously doesn't work anymore, at least remind him that I'm the damn prefect, Derek!" Logan replies a few decibels lower, but just as venomous. "It's my fucking responsibility to make sure he's all right!"

"Jesus Christ, Logan, could you stop making this about you for one second?"

"ABOUT ME?" Logan explodes again. "This isn't about me D! I'm concerned about him!"

Logan points accusingly at the door. From the other side of it, Julian winces under the sheets and his heart aches. It takes everything he has to prevent himself from running out of the room.

Derek blinks a couple of times then takes a calming breath. "He isn't dying all right? Or anything even close to that," he says. The Stuart's tone is still drowning in annoyance, but there's definitely a dash of sympathy in there as well. Because he understands how hard this is for Logan, who always hated being kept out of the loop. He'd actually feel worse about doing this to him, if Logan wasn't such a douche all the time. "Seriously Lo, this… this isn't anything I can't handle."

"Fine then," Logan finally concludes, though he doesn't sound too pleased. He glances at his watch, then looks back up at Derek. "I've gotta go anyway. Deal with Kurt and Blaine."

From his room, Julian hears the sound of heavy footsteps, then the common room doors close with a loud bang; he almost snorts.

Of course he'd have to leave for them.

He looks up when he hears his door open to see Derek looking tiredly at him.

"Hey D," Julian greets, as he gets out of bed.

"Hey yourself," Derek says as he closes the door then rubs his temples. "I take it you heard all that…?"

"I'm pretty sure even the Hanovers heard that, Derek," Julian replies, chuckling dryly. He sits at the foot of his bed and quickly puts on his shoes. He then eyes his massive suitcase at the corner of the room. "Carmen will be here soon though, so I'll be out of your hair in a few."

"I still don't think this is the way to go," Derek tells him seriously, taking a seat next to the actor. "What about your damn stalker?"

Julian just waves it off. "I've talked to Clark about this. Not in detail, sure, but he promises that I'll get the best security money can buy!" He adds a dazzling smile at the end for emphasis.

But Derek isn't having any of it. "It's not just that! You… You heard what Logan said!"

"Oh yeah, I heard about his afternoon plans with Blaine and Kurt," Julian laughs bitterly. "That ought to distract him until tomorrow morning, don't you think? That's plenty of time for you to construct a bomb shelter, and I'll be far enough not to feel the explosion."

Derek shoots the other boy a desperate look. "Jules, you shouldn't say things like that."

Julian shrugs then pulls Derek up with him. "Relax, okay?" He promptly leads Derek to the door and practically shoves him out. "I'll come for you when my ride's here."

"But—!" Julian shuts the door in his face, and effectively shuts Derek up. Still, Julian only lets himself breathe a sigh of relief when he hears a door nearby close shut. Then he lies down on his bed and tries to convince himself that what he is doing is right.

He fails miserably.

… That is until the image of Logan laughing it off with the two Windsors enters his mind. Suddenly, Julian can't get out of there fast enough.

&.&.&

Carmen texts him twenty minutes later.

Julian gets up and grabs his things, then drags his sorry ass to Derek's room, just as he promised. He knocks twice before Derek opens the door.

"Oh shit," Derek exclaims as he takes in Julian's appearance—bags, travelling coat and all.

"Nice to see you too," Julian smirks.

"Shut up," Derek snaps, with not nearly enough venom. "I just didn't think that it'd be so soon."

Julian, a little taken back by the comment, adamantly refuses to let Derek help him with his things; so the brunet pulls on his suitcase as the pair silently makes their way down the stairs. But the common room is unfortunately not as empty as he had hoped. He thought that Logan's earlier rampage had finally scared them all off, but some of his housemates' love for the academia proved stronger than their desire to live. Julian briefly chuckles at the thought.

How typically Stuart of them.

Not too many heads look up from where their noses were buried in books, however, and Julian only hoped that—.

"Julian?"

Both he and Derek turn around to see Bailey standing at the foot of the stairs, a curious expression on his face. "You're… You're leaving? Now?"

Julian offers him a small smile. "See you, Bailey." The actor then turns around and continues walking.

"But—but—your CD!" Bailey protests quite lamely.

"Keep it!" Julian doesn't even look back, as he and Derek are already halfway out the door.

"There you are!" Carmen calls out as she runs to meet the pair of Stuarts halfway up the stairs. "He'll take care of those for you." She turns back and snaps her fingers at one of the guys in a suit, who immediately rushes forward to grab Julian's luggage. He smirks, and from the corner of his eye, he sees that Derek is clearly impressed.

"Right now we've got to hurry! I have the best news!" Carmen continues eagerly. "Honestly Julian, this role is going to do absolute wondersfor your career!"

Julian rolls his eyes. He watches as Carmen quickly takes out her phone, then climbs back into the sleek, black limo. When she's finally inside, Julian turns to Derek.

"Have I told you lately how much I hate the both of you for getting yourselves into so much trouble all the time?" Derek asks softly. "I suddenly had to be the responsible one."

The smile that Julian offers him is small, almost apologetic. "D, you don't have to do anything…" That much is true, but Julian is so goddamn thankful that Derek watches out for him anyhow.

Derek puts a hand on the brunet's shoulder and squeezes it tightly. "Jules," Derek sighs, as he slumps his shoulders in defeat. "Just promise me you'll be all right."

Julian nods his head then heads towards the limo. He steps in, and gives Derek one last wave before closes the door.

&.&.&

He enters his hotel room a little after dark.

Julian clumsily tosses his things to one side of the spacious room, sets aside his traveling cloak and his shoes, then makes his way towards the bathroom. He takes a long hot bath, dresses comfortably afterwards—some boxers and an old t-shirt—then flops onto his bed. He notes that he's a lot calmer than he has been since he found the "gift" that his stalker left for him, (probably because like Clark had promised, security in the hotel was extremely tight) but that wave of calmness completely disappears when he finally checks his phone.

Fifty-two unread messages

Twenty-seven missed calls

All from one Logan Wright.

"Ah fuck," Julian mutters as he sits up. He checks the digital clock on his bedside table.

8:57

Julian's eyes widen.

It's still early!

He nervously runs a hand through his hair, and takes a deep breath. He brings the phone to his ear, then presses the button to hear the first message.

'HEY LARSON, BAILEY LEFT ME YOUR CD. MAYBE YOU COULD GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE, GET IT FROM ME AND EXPLAIN YOURSELF IF IT ISN'T TOO MUCH TROUBLE.'

Another sigh. Then a beep.

'LARSON,YOUASS,WHEREAREYOU?'

Beep.

'JULIAN YOU BETTER NOT BE IGNORING ME.'

Beep.

'JULIAN YOU SURE GOT SOME NERVE LEAVING LIKE THAT. NOW YOU WON'T EVEN—?'

The last beep is longer than the rest. Julian stares long and hard at his phone until the notification, 'All messages have been deleted.' is staring at him in the face. He quickly sends Derek a message, asking him if he's still alive, before he lies down—one hand firmly holding onto his phone, the other on his forehead.

God Lo. You. Can't. Keep. Doing. This. To. Me.

He feels his phone vibrate a few seconds later and he quickly checks to see if it's Derek.

It isn't. It's Carmen, reminding him to be at the studio before nine the following morning. He simply rolls his eyes, only mildly curious as to what's got Carmen so excited. Derek's reply, however, comes a few moments after hers.

'Yes I am. But just barely. Emphasis on the hate that we discussed earlier.'

Julian grins slightly, then somehow falls asleep soon after.

&.&.&

When Julian shows up at the studio bright and early the following morning, he isn't sure what to expect.

But it certainly isn't this.

Apparently, Grant and Matthew were going to kiss.

And well, that actually meant that heand Clark were going to kiss.

Huh. That sure is… something.

"We've shot a quarter of the episode already," Brian, their assistant director, informs him positively beaming. "We were just waiting for the thumbs up from you! Again, thank you so much for agreeing to do this! Not that you had much of a choice in the matter… But do you realize how groundbreaking this is going to be for us?"

Julian nods and feigns enthusiasm. (It's not that he isn't glad that he gets to be part of such a major television moment. It's just way too early for him to be handling anyone as cheerful or as annoying as the person standing right in front of him.) "It's great, Brian! It's totally my pleasure."

"Clark's in his trailer," Brian says, still smiling. "You two should run lines. We film the kiss last, but that's probably just a few days from now. Here's your script," he continues, as he hands Julian a rather thick pile of papers bound together. "He's expecting you. Oh, this is going to be perfect!"

Julian bids him a quick farewell, heads towards Clark's trailer, and drops his smile once he's a safe distance away.

He falls into a routine after that.

In the mornings, he runs lines (and occasionally goofs off) with Clark, and they sometimes find themselves alternating trailers. (Clark's trailer has the PS3, but Julian's trailer has the Wii). In the afternoons, he shoots scenes with his fellow co-stars, who have less to shoot since they don't actually leave the set as much as he does. Marcie, Patrick and the others spend their extra time lightly teasing him about his big scene, but Julian's far too familiar with them to take any of it seriously. Then when they're all finally free to go, they eat dinner together—and maybe have a couple of drinks here and there—but are back indoors embarrassingly early, due to fatigue.

During his quick breaks however, Julian checks up on Derek. He only ever talks to him, despite Logan's persistent calls and messages. Julian honestly thinks that he's gotten his message across, but then again, this was Logan he was dealing with.

'I don't care if you're busy!' Derek says desperately, one afternoon. 'It's fucking killing him Jules!'

"Derek, you know I can't just—!"

He stops abruptly when he hears the sound of heavy footsteps from the other end of the line. Then, 'LARSON, YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD EXPLANATION FOR COMPLETELY CUTTING ME OUT OF YOUR LIFE.'

Julian's breath gets caught in his throat.

He hangs up.

He doesn't even call Derek much after that.

Instead, he completely buries himself in his work. He starts taking more hours and continues working during his breaks, much to the dismay of his friends on set.

"J, you're going to kill yourself," Clark tells him worriedly, during one of their morning rehearsals.

"Stop it Clark," he snaps back. "You heard Brian. This has to be perfect."

Clark shrugs it off and decides not to pry, which eases Julian.

He's been over this too many times the last couple of days that it has turned into an automatic response. Being in Stuart did mean that he's got the reputation of an overachiever—but if Julian's being honest with himself, he knows that he lets his work consume all his time and energy so that he'll have none left to think about the boy he left behind.

&.&.&

He shows up early on the day they're to film the kiss.

Julian's incredibly anxious the entire day, the actual importance of the scene hitting him at the worst possible moment. He spends the entirety of the morning going through his lines and ridiculously practicing his facial expressions and lip freaking movements in front of the mirror in his trailer. (He cancels on Clark before that and makes sure his door is locked—because he's pretty sure he'd kill himself if anyone walked in on him.) When one of the extras comes to get him a little after lunch, Julian puts on his best showface and confidently strides out the door.

May, the extra with long black hair, leads him to their location. Julian looks around and sees that a large group has already gathered, talking excitedly amongst themselves. "Looks like the entire crew's here to watch," May says cheerily. That does nothing for his nerves, so he excuses himself so that he can go join Clark and Alicia on the other side.

"Hey! There you are!" Alicia greets brightly when he comes up to them. "I have something for you!" She grabs his hand and places something small and round in his palm.

Julian examines the object closely then laughs. "A breath mint?"

"She gave me one too," Clark says, placing his between his teeth, "I didn't know whether to feel offended or—."

Just then, Julian hears someone say his name so he turns around and sees Brian waving at them. The message is clear:

It's show time.

"All right, I'm gonna go," Alicia tells them. "Good luck, you two!" She winks at them before she saunters off to join the audience.

"You ready for this, pop star?" Julian smirks.

"You bet," Clark replies humorously. "Eat that breath mint, will you? And don't mess this up!"

"Oh haven't you heard, Sawyer?" Julian says playfully, popping the mint into his mouth. "I'm fucking fabulous."

He is.

The scene goes off without a hitch.

Both actors deliver their lines perfectly, building the tension so much so that by the time their faces start getting closer, the onlookers were either leaning out of their seats in suspense or tightly holding onto each other for support.

But as Julian reaches out to tenderly place his hand on Clark's cheek, he takes in the pop star's features—his blonde hair, full lips and flushed cheeks—and sees green eyes instead of blue.

Oh shit.

He then closes his eyes and presses his lips firmly on his co-star's and holds on tightly, even though his mind is a hundred miles away.

After around fifteen more takes, Brian finally calls it a wrap.

Julian and Clark receive a standing ovation.

He stays long enough to take in their words of praise—receive a few clasps on the back, a couple of hugs from the girls, and quickly makes his way back to the hotel.

He then locks himself up in his room, hides under the covers and cries.

&.&.&

He has the next day off.

He plans on spending it alone.

Clark ruins that by showing up mid-afternoon unannounced.

Thing is, Julian's still in bed.

"Julian?" Clark calls out, walking towards him. His voice so full of concern that Julian can't bring himself to look at him. "… J, what's the matter?"

"It's nothing Clark," he replies, pushing the actor away, as he tries to take a seat on the bed. "Go away."

"This obviously isn't 'nothing,' J," Clark insists, as he kneels at the side of the bed. "You know you can tell my anything."

And the worst part is that Julian knows that's true. He's been great friends with Clark for so long that he's probably like Derek's Hollywood equivalent, only much nicer and relatively saner—and fuck it, just thinking of Derek makes him want to cry again. Because goddamnit, he misses him too. He hasn't talked to him in what feels like forever, and it's all his damn fault! This is all on him!

"Logan," Julian whispers brokenly, a sob escaping his lips.

"What?" Clark says, his friend's outburst clearly upsetting him. He climbs onto the bed and wraps his arms around Julian's shaking body. "What did you say?"

"Logan," Julian repeats as his hands grip the front of Clark's shirt, "This is all his—."

His words aren't coherent after that.

Clark simply holds him and rubs comforting circles on his back.

When Julian regains his ability to speak properly, he finds himself telling Clark a brief summary of his history with the Stuart prefect.

The pop star nods at all the right places and assures him that everything will work out.

Julian, however, isn't nearly as optimistic.

… Not too sure about that last bit.

&.&.&

A little more than a week later, Julian realizes that he was right about being skeptical.

He's out doing an interview with Clark—which is actually just additional press release for their big episode that premiered the day before.

"Clark, what did you think when you saw the script?" Nat, their blonde, big-chested host asks the pop star dramatically. "Because I totally didn't see that coming! I mean when you," she points to Julian, "started leaning in! Come on!" She then turns to the audience and gives them an incredulous look.

They laugh.

"I was quite surprised at first, because I had no idea we were heading towards that direction," Clark replies, chuckling. "But I think we've all seen that despite Matthew's string of girlfriends and Grant's notorious bad boy attitude, they've had quite a few, ah, moments. So yeah, I quickly warmed up to the idea."

"So, did you two have any difficulties shooting… well, that particular scene?" Nat adds, suggestively wiggling her eyebrows.

The audience cheers in delight.

"No," Clark replies easily, with a smile. He glances briefly at Julian before he continues. "I've been friends with this guy for a really long time, and it's easy getting through those tough moments when you're with someone you're really familiar with."

"I see," Nat says, with a wink at the audience. "What about you, Julian? You didn't find it awkward at all?"

"Not really," Julian answers, smirking. "Being with Clark made things easy for me," he continues, pausing long enough to give Clark an appreciative look. "We hang out in each other's trailers all the time, it was no big deal. I'm used to these kinds of things."

A tense pause.

Julian looks around, confused. He doesn't understand what's going on, but Nat's mouth is open, and Clark's looking at him slightly alarmed.

What…?

"Forgive me if I misunderstood," Nat says slowly, "but you're used to what exactly?"

Oh.

Damn.

"Because it certainly sounded like you meant that you were used to," Nat pauses to take a breath. She isn't even trying to hide her excitement, because everyone knows that things like these are media gold, "… kissing guys."

"Well…" Julian thinks that he could take it back.

He should.

"Yeah."

But he doesn't.

"So you're…?"

Because doing so would be pointless.

"I'm bi."

Because—.

"It's who I am. It really isn't a big deal."

"Oh!" Nat exclaims gleefully. "So are you two…?" she asks, excitedly glancing back and forth between the two.

"God no," Julian says with an exaggerated wave of his hand. "He isn't quite my type."

Clark laughs heartily and punches him lightly on the shoulder.

Then the people in the audience are suddenly on their feet, clapping and laughing as well. And Julian lets out a breath that he didn't even know he was holding.

"So, Julian, what is your type?" Nat asks once the applause dies down.

Ridiculously good looking blonde psychopaths, the actor thinks miserably. "Oh, I don't know," he says instead, shrugging.

Their host frowns at the lackluster response, before she turns to Clark. "And how about you, Clark? Are you…?"

"Oh, I'm straight," the pop star replies, grinning widely. "Straight but supportive."

He gives the audience a grin and two thumbs up, and they once again cheer appreciatively.

"Well, do you know what your type is?" she asks, with a pointed look at Julian.

And while Clark continues to be drilled by the big-chested lady, Julian stares interestedly at his lap and refuses to look directly into any of the cameras.

He's quite certain that this train wreck of an interview is the closest he will ever get to an actual confession.

A/N2: I rather like Juliark. I ship them. :)