Disclaimer: Yeah... Supernatural isn't mine.

Firstly - spoilers for My Heart Will Go On. So, if you haven't seen it - please don't read any further... unless, of course, you want to be spoiled.

Ok, I'm well aware of the fact that there is probably going to be many different stories based around this single quote alone, let alone the whole episode. But... what a great episode! And, frankly, I couldn't resist. Besides, I think with all the dark undertones and the scary possibility that Cas is going to turn into something evil, we need something a little more light-hearted. :)

So this is my version of how that conversation really went... :P Just a little one-shot, no plans on continuing it. Please enjoy and please leave a review (even if it is just to tell me what you thought of the episode. :D)

...The One in the Dirty Trench Coat Who's in Love With You

"Sorry, you have me confused with the other angel," Balthazar said, sarcastically. "You know the one in the dirty trench coat who's in love with you."

Dean frowned, pretending to ignore the fact Balthazar was looking at him, not Sam as he spoke. He exchanged a glance with his brother. Sam briefly gave him an exasperated look before shrugging. "Hey, he means you, dude. Cas is in love with you."

"What?"

"And you're in love with him, too, of course," Balthazar added as Sam nodded, somewhat reluctantly as though he were afraid of what Dean would do if he saw him agreeing with the angel.

"What?"

"We got that the first time." Balthazar gave Dean a condescending look. "Reverting back to saying things twice, are we?"

"No, I meant, what-?"

"Three times."

"Shut it!" Dean said, venomously and Balthazar pressed his lips together in an exaggerated motion.

"What do you mean Cas' in love with me?"

Balthazar rolled his eyes and, ignoring Dean, turned to Sam. "You'd have to be blind to miss it, right?"

"Oh, tell me about it," Sam bemoaned. Dean's eyes widened in shock at what he was hearing. "At least you can just disappear whenever you want and don't have to be around when they're eye-sexing each other up."

"My sympathies," Balthazar said and Sam nodded again.

"WHAT?" Dean demanded. "Eye-sexing? Woah... Can we just hold up here? Rewind. Cas? In love? With me?"

"Come on, man. Denying it would be like denying the moon landing."

"What?"

"And yet he still doesn't see it," Balthazar shook his head, as though this was the saddest thing he'd ever heard.

"Look, just ask Cas when next you see him, ok."

Dean just stared at the two of them as though they were high on some illegal drug. "What have you been smoking? This is Castiel we're talking about. Angel of the Lord Cas. Virgin Cas. Hell, he's got a pole so far up his arse there'd be no room for me!"

"Oh come on! Bad mental image, dude!" Sam protested, a look of disgust on his face.

"Sorry, but you're just wrong. Cas and me? Na-uh. Just no." Dean shook his head to reiterate the fact. There was an awkward pause.

"Well... as much as I'd like to continue observing your denial, Dean, I don't have time to sit around and wait for the penny to drop," said Balthazar. "Cassie loves you and you love him back. End of."

"What?"

Sam sighed. "He's right, Dean."

"Oh, not you, too."

"No... I mean we don't have time right now. You can sort it out later."

"Well said, Sammy," Balthazar said.

"Only Dean gets to call me that," Sam growled and Balthazar raised his hands in apology.

"Fair enough. But now, boys, I must be off. Good luck with that thing I don't care about." He grinned at them and with a low whoosh of air he was gone.

"Son of a bitch," Dean growled and Sam gave him a curious look. "What?"

"Well..."

"Come on, man... I'm not in love with Cas. And I mean... he's not... in love with me either...obviously..." he blushed and turned away, reaching for a glass (into which he could pour copious amounts of alcohol in order to forget this conversation ever happened).

Sam gave him a bemused look in reply. "Sure thing, man. Anyway... sorting out your love-life with Cas is going to have to wait. We're going to have to -"

But Dean cut him off, his voice squeakily high and outraged. "Sorting out my WHAT with Cas?"