Hey guys, I'm really sorry for not updating in a long long time, I would tell you guys a massive sob story about why, but you're not here for that! You're here for the story!

The screen was black, dramatic music started playing. A figure rises out of the mist from a removable floor panel dressed in white, the figure is wearing a white veil, and the figure peels it back to reveal: Galadriel!

-Cue intro-

Erestor and Glorfindel are now on the screen, wearing tiaras and holding sceptres.

"Welcome!" Glorfindel said, "to the Tolkien's next top model reunion episode!"

Erestor nodded, "The models will be joining us in a moment, but first we feel the need to show you an obligatory montage of all the great moments in this season!"

Clips are shown of Frodo crying in various areas, Gandalf drinking tequila and setting things on fire, Gollum being tied to a support beam with duct tape and left there for hours. There are also various models shown being eliminated and Faramir holding Antonio Banderas. Finally there is a montage of the models walking down the runway with a zoom in on each of them before their names pop up next to them.

Glorfindel and Erestor are now seated on a cream sofa whilst all of the contestants are sitting on high chairs. Glorfindel and Erestor have a bowl of popcorn in-between them, Erestor is eating in nosily.

"So guys," Erestor says through a mouth full of popcorn, "let's talk to our winner, Pippin, first. What's life been like since the show?"

Pippin, who now looks exactly like he did before the show, sits there next to Merry looking very happy, "Well, er, it's been great; I've had lots of ads and commercials. Everything's been really busy, but I've gotten to meet loads of new people and Merry has been completely supportive this entire time."

"Are you guys getting married?" Glorfindel asked.

"No," Pippin replied, looking rather annoyed at that question.

"Did you expect to win at all?" Erestor read off a card.

Pippin rubbed the back of his neck, "Er no. Not at all, thought Frodo if anyone would w-"

"Yes, I thought I would win too!" Frodo interjected. He had sunglasses on even though they were inside, and a little fake dog in a purse. He flipped his hair and looked lazily at his nails, "But of course I didn't. I mean, I'm not bitter at all. As we all know gingers have no soul. So I'll always have that over Pippin."

"M'kay. You little diva," Erestor mumbled. "Now let's talk to our first eliminated contestant: Gollum. How do you feel after the elimination?"

"Precious felt very offended. Precious deserved to be given more of a chance," Gollum said, perching on his chair.

"You were crap and you know it!" Grima yelled at him. Faramir rolled his eyes. "I was amazing! How dare you people eliminate real talent?!"

"Sweety, you wouldn't know real talent if it hit you on the head and tap-danced across your dead corpse in its underwear." Aragorn said nonchalantly. Boromir sniggered behind him.

Glorfindel shuffled the cards around again, "Ah, ok. Here's a good one. Eomer is it true that your hair isn't naturally blonde, unlike Legolas'?"

"What? No, my hair is 100% naturally blonde!" Eomer said touching his hair nervously.

"It isn't." Legolas glared at the other blonde. "It's dyed and you know it. I've seen you at the salon."

Eomer leapt out of his chair. "Well at least I don't spend hours every day looking at myself in the mirror!"

"I'll have you know I only spend 1.2 hours in the mirror ever day thank you very much!" Legolas said, flipping his hair.

"Show off!" Frodo yelled.

"Oh shut up Frodo! Everyone knows that you're just jealous of me!"

"I am not!"

"You so are! That's why you wanted to take the ring to Mordor so badly! Because you just couldn't stand being shown up by someone who's actually prettier than you!"

"Mister Frodo is way prettier than you!" Sam said defensively.

"Yeah!" Merry and Pippin chimed in together. Eventually everyone was arguing who was prettier: Legolas or Frodo. Faramir punched Gollum in the face and Grima cowered in a corner. Sam had his frying pan and was trying to hit people with it. Elrond jumped in the middle of the fighting.

"Stop!" He yelled.

"No, this is really entertaining." Glorfindel said. He attempted to eat some more popcorn, but the bowl was empty. He passed it to Erestor. "Can you go make some more popcorn please while we go to commercial?"

Commercial!

Erestor passed the popcorn bowl to Glorfindel and sat down on the couch with a tub of ice cream. The ex-contestants had finally calmed down at Elrond stabbed Gandalf with a pen and Gandalf incited they all do the Macarena until they all felt better. Frodo was crying slightly and Sam had his arm around Frodo, glaring at Legolas who now had a black eye.

Glorfindel ran a hand through his beautiful hair and chucked the cards away. "You guys are so freaking crazy. I give up."

Just then a random fan ran onto the stage.

"Season 2! Season 2!" She yelled, shaking Glorfindel. Erestor kicked her in the shin to get her off.

"Back off bitch! We haven't got anything planned for certain yet but with the rise of the hot dwarf population we may have to!"

"Ohmigod, have you seen Thorin Oakenshield, he is such a babe." Glorfindel said sounding like a teenage girl. The fan was promptly taken away by security guards.

"So, Faramir, still got Antonio Banderas?" Erestor asked him. Faramir nodded.

"Yep. Look how cute he is!" An image of Antonio Banderas popped up on the screen playing with a ball of yarn.

"How, er, cute." Glorfindel said. "Legolas, how about you and Susan? Wedding bells anytime soon?"

"No!" Legolas yelled. "She is so weird! Everywhere I go there she is! I found her sitting on the edge of my bed once and she keeps stealing my stuff I don't know what to do anymore!"

"Kill her." Boromir suggested. "Hey what about Aragorn and Arwen? Trouble in paradise?"

Aragorn stared into the distance, "Arwen is…how do I say this? Boring and she has no personality. Like all she cares about is what shiny new thing she can have and being better than everyone else. Just last week I bought her tiffany and it's not good enough for her. Oh no, now she has to have a new tiara and a new dress. It's mad!"

"That's my daughter you're talking about," Elrond said, his arms crossed.

"Do you want her back? I should have married Eowyn instead."

"You can't have her!" Eomer threatened, unsheathing his sword.

"Yeah! She's mine!" Faramir added.

Erestor and Glorfindel looked at each other and sighed loudly. "Hey guys, wanna do something fun?" Erestor asked.

"Like what?" Legolas asked.

"Shopping, or like ball pit or laser tag or something." Erestor shrugged.

"Water balloon fight!" Gandalf yelled, throwing a massive balloon at Frodo, soaking him completely.

Commercial break!

The models are all standing in a giant gymnasium full of climbing equipment and ropes. Each model has the laser tag guns and the jacket thing to keep the score points. Erestor and Glorfindel walked up to them, both wearing the jackets as well.

"There's 15 of us." Elrond pointed out.

"True." Erestor said and pulled a lever on the wall, a floor panel opened up and Gollum dropped down somewhere, screaming. "Look. Now we're even."

"Let the game begin!" Glorfindel yelled.

The models scattered in all directions, not knowing who was on whose team, instead just running for it and shooting at everyone. Sam fell down into a hole and was left there whilst Pippin climbed up a rope and stayed up there shooting at whoever came near.

"I can't do this!" Boromir yelled, falling down.

"No! Brother you can!" Faramir tried to pull him up but couldn't.

"Leave me here to die!"

"Ok." Faramir said, letting go of Boromir's arm and walking away.

"What? You're just gonna leave me here?"

"Yep. You're Sean Bean. You'll survive."

"How could you?!"

Legolas is running, looking around corners in full stealth mode. He peered around a corner looking very cautious. Susan ran out from nowhere and full on tackled him.

"Found you future husband!" She yelled, hugging him.

"Argh! Susan, get off of me! Aragorn! Help!"

The scene cut to Glorfindel and Erestor running along the laser tag maze. "So uh, you and Edmund." Erestor said, turning around and shooting Grima before he could shoot them.

"What about him?" Glorfindel asked.

"Do uh, do you two see each other often?"

"Not really." Glorfindel said. He stopped running and stared at Erestor, "You're jealous aren't you?"

"What? No I'm not!" Erestor said, but his voiced betrayed him.

"Oh my gosh, you are! Why didn't you say so?"

"I am not jealous!" Erestor said defensively.

"You so are."

Erestor sighed, "ok, maybe I am. You were always spending time with him and I missed my best friend. OK?"

Glorfindel smiled, "Aw, all you had to do was say so!"

Gandalf burst through ruining the moment, "I thought I was your best friend!" He shot Glorfindel before running off.

The game ended when basically everyone had gotten tired out or left for "dead" by everyone else. None of the teams won as none could figure out how the game really worked either. Galadriel stormed into the room.

"You guys were meant to be interviewing them!" She said, looking at Erestor and Glorfindel.

"We did, but it got boring!" Glorfindel answered, his arm linked with Erestor's.

"Yeah, we got enough coverage for it to run though!" Erestor said. Galadriel raised her eyebrow, shook her head and walked out of the room.

"Who wants to go get some pizza and other miscellaneous food items?" Aragorn suggested. Everyone yelled in agreement.

As they all walked out of the gym there was a faint cackling somewhere in the distance. The white witch popped up on the screen, still wearing the crown. She smiled into the camera creepily before Pippin hit her with a 2 by 4, knocking her out. He picked up the crown and put it on his head.

"I was wondering where that got to."