Twenty one ways to piss of Megatron.
Back by popular demand, my 21 ways to piss off somebot continues.
Disclaimer: Hasbro owns Transformers.
Well, I'm band from Metroplex for at least a week. A certain some mech*cough, cough Sentinel* showed the first few chapters to Ultra Magnus of my last piss off list. So, until I can head back to Iacon, I thought I'd break into Deception HQ and have a little more havoc humour at the cons exspense. So you can walk around freely, stick a Decepticon emblem on and claim you're a pretender. Just make sure it's Blitzwing or Lugnut who admit you as they're to stupid to wonder why you have no spark signature. I thought we'd start with the tyrannical tyrant himself, Megatron.
Warning: The reader understands the potential for bodily injury and/or offlining from pissing off Megatron. Unlike pissing off Sentinel, there is no Prime, Magnus, or ninjabot to hide behind. If something happens, all I can say is I warned you.
Idea one: confetti cannon.
When Megatron takes off his cannon to hit the wash racks, (yes, turns out he's a grime-a-phobe.) Replace a few key parts turning it into a confetti cannon. Megatron is so overly confident that he never checks his weapons before combat. Therefore this guarantees two things; one, he'll look like an idiot, and two, whoever he was about to slag has a chance to slag him back. Not to mention he won't be able to kill you from a distance until shockwave fixes it.
Idea two: hero villian worship is unhealthy.
Causally tell Lugnut that Megatron thinks he's stopped caring about his leader. Lugnut will think this is the end and immediately begin groveling like crazy. Even Megatron's ego has a limit. Hopefully, not just his optic will twitch this time.
Idea three. Yum...
Megatron fancies himself an oil expert. If the Constructicons ever stop in, have them swig some oil and spit it out like mouthwash. Collect this used motor oil and when Megs isn't looking, pour the contents into his mug. The moment it enters his mouth, it'll fly out faster than he can yell. Keep your snickering down or he'll find you and slag you on the spot. If he does, say it was Starscream's idea and run before he can decide whether you're fibbing.
A/N if you read my last list on how to piss of Sentinel, you know the drill. I'm gonna do it in several chapters and ideas are welcome. and again, I swear it'll get funnier.