Nights of Neglect Will Soon Be Over – Chapter 3

(Thanks again to all those who've read and reviewed so far. You guys are awesome! Here's the wrap-up of this story … after we see the REAL 'Nights of Neglect' this week, I'll go on to do a fanfic spec about Episode 18.)

(Where Chapter 2 left off: Will began to walk away with Holly, but not before glancing back at the lovely woman who looked so gorgeous and so fragile talking now to Shannon. She hadn't noticed him looking at her. She seemed intent at staying in the shadow of a far corner of the room. Will noticed that the dashing dentist was absent this evening. Or maybe he was meeting his wife here after a root canal that kept him late at work. Whatever the case, as Will turned back to follow Holly he was aware of one thing. Seeing Emma without Carl was so much nicer than seeing her with him.)

Holly and Will walked together down the hallway in silence for a few moments. She reached out gently to guide him by the elbow into the choir room. Closing the door behind them, Holly turned on one overhead light. This conversation didn't need to be had in full fluorescent lighting … or in romantic mood lighting either.

Holly looked at Will, the hint of a smile crossing her lips. He returned the smile, but in his eyes she could tell he was perplexed.

Will spoke first, "So, you wanted to talk?"

"Yes, I think we need to."

Will looked intently at her now, "Is something wrong? You sound serious."

"That's because, my friend, we need to have a serious chat. And something tells me this is the time to have it."

"OK … are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Will. Really fine. But I have to say something to you that's not easy, so if you could just listen to me for a minute and let me get through this."

"Sure, that's okay … I'm all ears."

Holly sat down on the piano bench and patted the seat next to her, motioning for Will to sit next to her. He sat as she began speaking quietly. Her tone was uncharacteristically gentle … "Will, I can't keep seeing you. I don't want to date you anymore, and I need you to try to understand why."

Will tried to interrupt, but Holly kept talking … "I'm not gonna say 'I told you so' … but I did tell you so. I don't do the relationship thing. And even though the beginnings are fun, the rest honestly doesn't appeal to me. If I were the kind of girl who wanted to fall in love and settle down, you'd be as close to perfect as they come. But I'm not that girl … and I make no apologies for not being that girl. It wouldn't be fair for me to let this continue. It might be easy for a little longer. You're cute and sexy … and kind of hot in a nerdy sort of way. But I know I'm not into it for the long haul … and you need to know that too."

She finally paused so that Will could get a word in edgewise. "Holly, if I've been coming on too strong … I'm really sorry. I can definitely tone it down … back off … whatever you need …"

Cutting him off, Holly continued. "Will, Will … please listen. You don't need to do anything. You don't need to change. And certainly not for me, because what's between us is never going to be more than friendship. That's all I can offer you. But there's more to it than that, and I hope you'll listen to me and consider what I'm saying. You know that stupid thing people say when they break up with someone they've been seeing? The old saying, 'It's not you … it's me …' Well honestly it is me … but it's you too."

Will looked at her confused. "What do you mean 'it's me too'?"

"I mean that you're in no position to be jumping into a relationship with a new woman anyway … you're not available."

"Holly … I've been divorced for over a year now … believe me, I've been alone long enough … "

"I'm not talking about getting over your divorce, buddy boy … I'm talking about Emma."

Will was stunned at Holly mentioning Emma's name. "Emma? Holly, you brought Emma up at Breadstix and now you're bringing her up again. Listen, our attempt at a relationship never got off the ground and that was a long time ago."

"And how do you feel about her now?"

Will raised his voice now, getting irritated with Holly's insistence in dredging up memories that were painful for him. "I don't think about Emma in any romantic way anymore …"

"Well, first of all, I don't believe that. And secondly, I didn't ask you what you think, I asked you how you feel."

"I feel like talking about her is pointless since she's married. Or had you forgotten?"

"For someone who's over a woman you certainly are getting flustered just talking about her. Will, I'm kind of betraying a confidence here … but I do care about you and I want you to be happy … and I think there may be some things going on that you don't know about. When is the last time you talked to Emma?"

"We talk. Sometimes. Not often. Every few days. Actually we haven't talked in weeks, except small talk in a group of people."

"OK, interesting. Well, without going into detail, I happen to know that Emma and Carl's marriage is going to shit."

Will's eyes flew wide open and his jaw dropped in shock, "What? What are you talking about?"

"I did a little counseling session with Dr. Howell and his lovely wife after the whole 'Afternoon Delight' nightmare. Carl approached me and asked if I could help them with some … uh … how do I say this? Personal issues …"

"What? Why you?"

Holly snickered, "I know … tell me about it. A week of substituting for a Sex Ed Health class and next thing ya know I'm hanging out my shingle!"

"Go on Holly." Will was dead serious and no longer concerned with understanding why Holly didn't want to see him anymore.

"All I can say is that in that brief meeting it became clear that they aren't … well … close … if you know what I mean."

Will was curious. Very curious. He wanted every detail, but that would be wrong. Whatever Holly had learned about Emma and Carl was none of his business. He stood up from the piano bench and looked down at Holly as he spoke again, by now somewhat exasperated.

"Holly, please … please stop. It's okay, really. I understand that you want to end things with us. And that's fine. You're great. You're funny, you're fun to be around … but I get it. You're not interested in a relationship. But as far as Emma … or Emma and Carl … or whatever is concerned … I don't want to hear the intimate details of their marriage. I'm sure whatever Carl needed your help with has been resolved by now and we shouldn't be talking about it … And it's almost time for you to go on to sing, so let's just end this conversation."

"Will, listen to me. Emma and Carl separated that day. He walked out and went home to pack a bag and move into the Radisson. And I'm pretty sure he hasn't gone back to her since … not after she admitted that she still has feelings for you."

Will stood in the middle of the room, stunned, staring at Holly. "She what? Holly, this is important, you'd better not be joking. What do you mean?"

"I thought that might get your attention. Well, you know me. I don't know what really got into me … that happens to me a lot … anyway I just came out and asked her if she was still in love with you. She got all quiet. Carl even said that he'd had the same question but was afraid to ask. And I have to give her credit. She didn't scream or freak out or cry or even lie and deny it for god's sakes … she just said that she's very confused about her feelings. Next thing I knew, Carl got up and left and Emma stayed put. She didn't run after him or beg him to stay. She just asked me not to tell you. And here I am … telling you. But there's a reason. I have to admit that when I first heard that Emma still has the hots for you, I felt kind of excited and challenged. And because I'm incredibly immature when it comes to men, as you may have noticed, I walked myself right down to the auditorium where I did not tell you about Emma … instead I did just the opposite and told you I was ready for a little romance with you."

Holly paused, she felt slightly disgusted with herself. "Oh god Will, I'm such a jerk. I really don't know why I do some of the things I do. All I know is that the more time I spend with you the more I really like you … as a great, great friend. And I want my friend to be happy. That's all."

Brad cracked the door open and poked his head into the room just long enough to tell Holly she'd be on in three minutes.

"Hey … I really believe that Emma loves you. And I'm not stupid … I saw how you looked at her tonight across the room. It's worth a shot, Will. You deserve to be happy … really happy … with the woman you love."

She walked towards the door when Will called out, "Holly … I have no idea what's going to happen next … but thank you … for everything."

After a moment, Will walked back into the darkened cafeteria to find Holly center stage spot lit singing Adele's "Turning Tables". He was taken in by the lyrics and the emotion with which Holly sang the song, but he was distracted by what she had just told him about Emma. As his eyes adjusted to the dim lighting, he looked across the room to see Shannon standing alone. Where was Emma? He was suddenly taken with the need to find her, and although he had no idea what he would say, he had to be close to her.

As the song ended Will made his way to the back of the room where Shannon stood. He whispered so not to disturb the glee performers who were taking the stage.

"Pssst … Shannon … where's Emma?"

Shannon whispered back, "She said she had to finish up something in her office."

Will couldn't just leave in the middle of a New Directions performance, although if he was honest, there was nothing he wanted to do more than see Emma. But he knew that after this song there was an intermission. Hopefully she wouldn't leave McKinley before that.

As the kids bounded off the stage Will tried to be as attentive as possible even though his mind was elsewhere. They'd really sounded awesome, as usual. They were going to take New York by storm at Nationals, he just knew it. He clapped and smiled and slapped the guys on their backs. After the girls filed by he saw Holly once more.

"Holly, you were amazing … as always …"

"Thank you, sir! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna' change and come back to catch the second half."

With the congratulatory messages out of the way, Will wanted nothing more than to run down the hall to Emma. It reminded him of a day a million years ago … or so it seemed. A day when a series of events began that had been so amazing and so confusing and so ill-timed. But this was different. So he slowed his pace, and his mind, and walked towards Emma's office. He had no idea what to say when he got there, but he had to be gentle in his approach.

He saw her through the glass as he turned the corner by her office. She was oblivious to him standing there in the doorway as she poured over transcripts and swiveled her desk chair to put a file away. Her back was to the door.

Will cleared his throat softly to see if it would get her attention. It did. She looked up, startled.

"Will …! I didn't see you …"

"Hi Em. Mind if I come in?"

"No … uh. No, of course not ..." She was nervous and unsure of how to behave around Will. She hadn't expected to see him. He sat down across from her and started to speak.

"I … er … I was just wondering how you are. We haven't talked for awhile."

"I'm fine. Just fine. And you?"

"Fine." Will bit his lip, glanced at the desk, then looked back up at Emma's face. Emma's sweet, beautiful, slightly sad face.

"So … is the show over? Where's Holly?"

"No, just intermission. Holly's changing clothes in the ladies' room."

"Oh. Well. I'm sure you don't want to keep her waiting."

Ignoring the statement about Holly, Will shifted gears. "Why did you leave the cafeteria? I thought you'd want to see the kids perform."

"I did … I do … I just, well … I've got a lot to do."

"Where's Carl tonight?"

"Carl? Oh … oh .."

"Yes, Carl. Your husband."

"He's not here."

"I noticed. That's why I asked."

"Oh, well, I mean, he's out of town."

This is getting weird, Will thought.

This is really uncomfortable, Emma thought.

They kept talking anyway.

"Oh. Out of town?"

"Yes, on business."

"Dentists go out of town on business trips?"

"Yes, sometimes."

"That's funny. I didn't know that. I guess I never really thought about it."

"He's in Connecticut."

"Nice. Connecticut I mean. I've never been there, but I've heard it's pretty." Pretty. Connecticut's pretty. How lame can you get, Schuester … Will had no idea where to take this conversation. He kept going anyway.

"Is it a convention?"

Emma wondered why Will was asking some many questions about Carl. She felt like she had just jumped into the deep end of a pool and didn't know how to swim. Then something came over her. She wasn't going to drown. She was going to get to the surface and breathe. Inhaling deeply, she continued.

"No, no convention. He's interviewing to join a new practice."

Suddenly Will was overcome with fear that Emma and Carl had patched things up and were moving away from Lima to work on their marriage. Holly had been wrong. In the weeks since her session with them, Emma and Carl had gotten back together. They were probably happier than ever together. How could he be so stupid?

Emma sensed that Will's mind was spinning … he looked almost frightened.

"Will, is something wrong?"

"Yes. You're moving to Connecticut?"

"Why would you think that?"

"You just told me that Carl's interviewing with a practice in Connecticut." By now Will was leaning his elbows on Emma's desk. His hands folded in front of him.

"Will … listen ..." On impulse she reached out and put her hand on his … "some things have happened …"

The warmth of her hand on his felt like magic. He looked at her soft skin, her beautifully manicured nails, her slender fingers. Her hand. Her fingers. Her left hand. Her ring finger. No ring on her ring finger.

Emma hadn't touched him with her left hand on purpose, but as his eyes widened transfixed on her touching him, she could read his mind. Neither spoke for a moment, then Emma continued. Again she inhaled, then it all began to come out.

"Some things have changed. There's a chance that Carl is going to move to Connecticut. I won't be going with him. We've separated."

"Em …" Will didn't intend to let on that Holly had spoken with him ... "I'm sorry … I'm so sorry …"

"It's alright. I'm alright. Don't worry. Now, I'm sure Holly will be wondering where you've gone."

"No, she won't be. And there's no other place I need to be right now."

"I don't understand."

"Emma, what is going on? Really …" His tone was sweet and concerned, but Emma had begun to put a few things together, then it dawned on her.

"When did she tell you?"

"Excuse me?"

"Holly. When did she tell you about Carl and me?"

Will sat quietly, but he wasn't going to lie. Lies and secrets and misunderstandings had caused them nothing but trouble.

"Just now. Tonight."

Emma looked down, tearing up slightly, but not about to break down. No way. Not now.

"I'd asked her not to tell you."

"I know."

"But she did anyway."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"She meant no harm, Em. And she didn't go into detail."

"Well, maybe I should."

"Should what?"

"Go into detail."

"You don't have to, Em. It's okay …"

"Carl and I are over because I couldn't make myself be in love with him. I thought I could. I really tried, but I guess if you have to try so hard it's kind of obvious that something's not right. I mean it's one thing to work at a relationship, but working at being in love is something else. And unfortunately I jumped into a marriage without understanding that." As she talked, Emma became upset. Again the tears were coming, but she didn't want to stop … and Will sat patiently listening.

"So, it's over. I feel terrible about what I've done to Carl and I feel like an idiot and I feel like tomorrow can't come soon enough because I'm going back into therapy with Dr. Shane. You remember him, right? I was seeing him a year ago, right after we … we … whatever. Anyway, I saw him for awhile, then I met Carl and decided that being with him was going to solve all of my issues. Red grapes. Green graphes. Movie theaters. Eating out in restaurants. Leaving crust on bread. I mean really … isn't it obvious …?" Her tone was ironic and somewhat self-punishing … "If you can handle all of that spontaneity, why not run off to Vegas and get married?"

"Emma, you never meant to hurt Carl …"

"You're right, I didn't mean to, but I did and there's nothing I can do to change that. I can't fix the past, but I can try to have a better future. Like taking responsibility for myself and my decisions and being an adult for god's sake. That's why I'm going back to Dr. Shane."

"I just want you to be happy."

"That's what you said to me the day I told you I'd married Carl." Emma almost chuckled as she continued, "Although I must say you sound much more sincere tonight than you did then."

Will just smiled and looked at her, adoring her, loving her big eyes, wishing it was okay to kiss her now.

"Will … I need to tell you something else. My marriage … well, it's being annulled." Shy Emma looked down again. "Do you know what that means?"

It all made sense to him now. The Sex Ed "therapy session" with Holly. The "personal issues" she'd referred to. Emma had been married to Carl for months and was still a virgin. He knew how hard it must be for her to tell him this.

"Em, you don't have to explain …"

"I'm still a virgin."

"Uh … oh … okay …"

"I couldn't do it. I just couldn't. Not even close."

"Emma, don't beat yourself up. If you weren't ready, you weren't ready. It's as simple as that."

"Simple. Hmm. I don't know if I'd call it simple." A warm smile grew across Emma's lips.

Will smiled too. His voice was kind as he spoke, "I don't mean to minimize it, Em … really. I know you struggle. I know the OCD affects many areas of your life …"

Emma cut him off. "Will, I didn't avoid sex with Carl because of my OCD. And I know that I probably shouldn't say this, especially now that you're moving on with Holly …"

Will's attempts to cut in and tell Emma about Holly were to no avail as Emma kept talking.

"… but the truth is I'm still a virgin because of you. My feelings … my feelings for you. I thought I could just turn them off, like a switch, but …"

At that moment an enthusiastic crowd of glee kids came running down the hall laughing and pushing each other and singing off-key. They were so excited about the evening and the money they'd earned for the trip to Nationals, Brittany and Lauren ran into Emma's office squealing incoherently. Something about going to Breadstix for a celebratory snack.

Emma looked at Will and simply said … "Go … go have a good time. I'll see you tomorrow. Have fun with Holly and the kids."

Will stood up and started to turn towards the door to follow the crowd. Then he stopped and turned back, "Em, it's just the kids. Just the kids. No more Holly … wasn't meant to be."

Emma's eyes widened and sparkled for the first time in a long time as she watched Will join Finn, Puck and Mike behind the rest of the crowd.

(So, that's it for this one. After tomorrow I'll probably do a version of BTW before it airs next week. Please read and review. Your responses mean so much to me and help me a lot!)