Disclaimer : I do not own One Piece. Or else I will make kiss scenes between those hot boys! XD
Ok, ok, …I know there are already have some stories like this out there, but I just can help it…I want…no no…I NEED to write this! XD Since there are many things I want to discuss or at least show it to others whether they will think the same or not, so I will try to do it based on the original characteristic of each character…and I will not put any OC characters in the interview except myself(just to do interviewer job…not participate in any relationship with the characters though…)
So…if you have any review/comment, I will gladly receive it! ( Or you can ask the question you want to know, and I will try to think of the answer through original story things ^_^ )
Oh, but I might play it into some shonen-ai or yaoi, if I'm in the mood. (laugh)
Hope you guys enjoy!
Warning :: Bad grammar and vocabulary…I will try my best ! _"
-1-
Sarus : Ok, let's start the interview…here I am, Sarus-crane, or just 'Sarus' is fine. Now I am with the Strawhat crews...umm…since everyone already knew each other, so let's skip the introduce part, agree?
Everyone : (nod)
Sarus : So…Luffy, I always wonder, how can you eat THOSE MEAT without getting fat? (look with jealous)
Sanji : Not surprise, if you read the whole story you will see him running and fighting those idiot marines all the time. You will need many energy to go through all of that…
Robin : And he's a rubber man, so I think he can control his body's shape.
Luffy : That's not even close to enough! Sanji~I want MEAT! MORE MEAT!
Sanji : Oi! We're in the middle of an interview, you shitty monkey!
Sarus : Which one of you have the hardest work on the ship?
Usopp : Me! Actually I am a man who works harder than everyone, I just pretend to be weak and lazy, you know?
Chopper : Really Usopp! Wow…
Zoro : Stupid long nose, stop lying.
Nami : Maybe me? Since I have to control those stupid crews every time they mess up or fight each other! For god sake, they can not control any emotion and thought! Just count one to five and they will bring every problems to you!
Luffy : What problems?
Nami : Problems is YOU!
Robin : (giggle) Navigator-san must be tried.
Nami : You understand me, don't you? (look at Robin happily)
Luffy : Captain's work is the hardest work! I have to take care and look after everyone in the ship! (Smile widely)
Everyone(except Luffy) : It's WE who have to look after YOU!
Franky : SUPERRRRR…I mean, um, since my work is about the ship things…it's also hard, ya know? Like…they always fight without concern with the damge they made to the ship, and I have to repair it everyday and night, lots of works to do!
Chopper : Um…I guess I'm not work hard at all, even if I'm a doctor, but they won't listen to my advise anyway…( make a sad face )
Sanji : Don't be sad Chopper, leave that shitty-marimo alone and let he died as he want, he's useless after all.
Zoro : Oi! Who's useless! At least I fight!
Sanji : Yeah, and get lost everytime…do nothing except training and sleep…what a waste…
Brook : Yo~ho~ho! I don't think it's me. Anyway, can I look at your pants, miss?
Sarus : Ow! Stop that! Pervert! ( Kick him hard )
Brook : Yo~ho~ho! That's hurt! It will leave bruise on my skin! Though I have no skin! Skull~joke!
Sarus : Looks like I won't get answer, so…next question! (turn to Sanji) What do you think about the opinion that you're gay?
Sanji : NO! I'M NOT! My heart belongs to beautiful women only, NO MEN!
Sarus : But your characteristics…it's GAY.
Sanji : WHAT? Which part of me is gay?
Sarus : Let's see…you do cooking…you always care about dress and your appearance, good looking things…you do hair…you are also slim and have long legs.
Sanji : What's wrong with long legs?
Sarus : Oh, it just sexy things.
Zoro : Accept it, you're gay, nobody will hate you, love-cook.
Sanji : SHUT UP!
Sarus : So…you're not gay?
Sanji : TOTALLY NOT! (scream)
Sarus : (turn to Zoro) How about you? Are you gay?
Zoro : What the-?
Usopp : ( look at Zoro ) SO YOU ARE GAY TOO!
Zoro : SHUT UP!
Sanji : Don't use TOO ! I'm NOT!
Luffy : What is gay anyway?
Robin : It's a word use for a man who have a feeling for a man, captain-san.
Sanji : Robin-chan! You're truly smart!
Zoro : Where do you get that stupid idea from? (glare at Sarus)
Sarus : (sweat drop) Um, they said GAY always want to make their body look good…they always go to gym or something, and you know…you seem to train a lot, look at your muscle! Surely all gay around the world will want to see what's underneath!
Sanji : (laugh crazily)
Zoro : .. It's just training result! You stupid writer!
Sanji : Hey, don't talk like that to a woman!
Zoro : I will talk whatever I want!
Nami : Um…I don't mind if you two are gay or not, just let me take a video…maybe I can make money from it.
Zoro & Sanji : LIKE HELL I WILL! / NOOOO NAMI-SWAN~~~!
Sarus : Actually, both of you are very popular, AS A COUPLE…
Robin : Oh, you mean those yaoi stories right? I have read some of it too…it's interesting.
Luffy : What is yaoi?
Chopper : Is it fun? Robin, may I borrow it too?
Usopp : Uhhh…I'm not recommend you to read it, Chopper. (pale face)
Robin : Yaoi is a stories about a love between man. It's Japanese word anyway.
Sarus : Yes. It seems that Luffy, Zoro and Sanji are the top list for pairing.
Franky : No me?
Sarus : um….a few, I think? I often see you with Robin, so it's not yaoi.
Brook : Since I only have bone body, so I can see why I'm not popular! Yo~ho~ho!
Sanji : Uhhhhh….can we skip to other topic, please?
Sarus : Why?—Oh, ok…What does Luffy's mother look like?
Luffy : Heh? Don't know, I've never seen her before.
Nami : A woman who fall in love with Dragon…what kind of woman is that?
Robin : With Luffy-kun personalities, I can't find any thing we could receive from his mother side too…all I can see is that he's similar to his grandfather, Garp, that's all.
Franky : Maybe she has black hair? And our boy didn't tall so maybe she's short?
Usopp : I hope she doesn't look like Luffy…
Sanji : She must be pretty! And must be smart!
Zoro : Don't be stupid…how a pretty and smart woman have a son like HIM (point to Luffy)
Brook : I guess it's a mystery after all! Yo~ho~ho~~!
Sarus : Ok…if all of you are in my world (real world) which occupation you will choose?
Luffy : PIRATE!
Sarus : (Is that ok with his thought?...oh well…)
Robin : Archeologist.
Nami : …Geographer?
Sanji : Cook.
Chopper : I will be a doctor!
Franky : Scientist is SUPER.
Zoro : ….Athlete.
Sarus : What? Why? I thought you want to be swordsman trainer or something like that…
Zoro : Well, I may good at using sword, but that's not mean I'm good at teaching others. I don't think I can teach.
Sarus : Oh, I see. So you think you can be athlete since you're strong?
Zoro : Don't know…I guess?
Brook : As for me, I will work at haunted house! Since I have only bones…so I can not live like a normal people…sad but true! Yo~ho~ho!
Sarus : Oh Brook…
Chopper : Then what about me? Can reindeer be a doctor?
Robin : I don't think so…maybe they will put you in the zoo.
Chopper : Whaaaaaaat! (run to hug Sanji's leg) I don't want to go to the zooooo!
Robin : Or maybe they will kill you and use your head as a decoration…or use you as an example of weird creature.
Usoop : Stop that scary thought please!
Chopper : (Shock)
Sarus : (oh shit…) Ummm, actually I think Sanji can be more than a cook, you know?
Sanji : What is it?
Sarus : You know, since you're good at using legs and do balance thing, you can be a dancer! And with your good taste of fashion, you can even be a designer or stylist!
Usopp : ( all of that somehow make me feel weird…aren't it gay top three jobs?)
Sanji : Uh…thanks….but I still prefer cook.
Sarus : (hiss)—ok next question! What will happen if Crocodile meet Sanji?
Luffy : Why? What will happen? (Confuse)
Robin : Ah, since Cook-san is the one who start ruining his plan, so I guess Mr.0 must be really piss off…maybe he will make him dry?
Sanji : ugh…R…Robin-chan?
Zoro : DEATH for sure, curly-cook.
Sanji : Oi !
Chopper : I don't want them to meet each other…maybe Sanji will…!
Sanji : Chopper, not you too…
Usopp : Rest in peace, Sanji…
Nami : I will take care all of your treasure, don't worry Sanji-kun.
Sanji : Nami-swannnnn!
Franky : Who is Crocodile?
Brook : I guess it's happen before we join? Yo~ho~ho…but it's kinder familiar to me, that name….like some rookies when I still alive though…
Sanji : Nothing will happen. I will kick him at the head and win. That's all.
Zoro : (smirk) He will kill you before you kick him, .
Sanji : You wanna fight? You shitty marimo!
Sarus : Actually…I've already invite Croco-chan here as well…he's behind you, Sanji.
Sanji : WHAT….(shock)
Crocodile : So…you are ? (look at Sanji coldly)
Sanji : (sweatdrop)
Zoro : You said you will kick him, isn't it? Love-cook.
Sanji : Sh…Shut up!
Crocodile : You will kick ME?
Sanji : WHAT? Uh…YEAH, what's wrong with that, heh? (trying to take a cigarette out of his jacket)
Crocodile : TRY IT.
Sanji : Hey, look…it's already in the past, why don't we forget it and be friend? You help Luffy in Marine Headquarter, right? So you're not so bad…( oh shit, but this guy hurt Vivi-chan very badly! How am I suppose to do…but he's sand…I can't kick him, damn it!)
Crocodile : (smirk) Don't what to kick me? Heh? Then…I have an idea…why don't we study each other MORE…maybe we can be FRIEND..or even…MORE
Sanji : (let his cigarette fall from his lips) Wh…what do you mean?
Crocodile : Like this. ( Suddenly turn into a sand, then drag Sanji out of the scene )
Nami : Hey, where are they going?
Zoro : Who's care? (yawn)
Luffy : Don't worry, he won't kill Sanji! Shishishi…
Usopp : Oi, I'm not sure with that…why aren't you worry? Luffy.
Luffy : I can see it. Crocodile's eyes didn't show any hate toward Sanji! Don't Worry!
Robin : …hm?…
? : NO! Stop! What are you….hey! Don't….sto..p….ah!...
? : Kick as you want…I won't stop. This is my revenge…
? : …ugh….ah…h….no….too big…..shit! Stop thrusting!...OWW…SHITTTT
Everyone : (listen to the sounds)
Sarus : (nosebleed) Oops…they….oh shit, I need to peek!
Nami : (scream) Where's my camera! Where is it!
Zoro : Zzz…zz….zz
? : Damn it, you're tight…
? : …ummm…don't…..ah..hah…oh...
Chopper : What are they doing? I smell…semens? ( make weird face )
Luffy : Maybe they are playing together?
? : No….hah….Stop…ahh….oh…yes…YES..
? : Like it? How about…THIS.
? : Ohhhhh YESSSS…HARDER…
? : ….Take it all…THIS for what you did to me back then…TAKE IT ALL
( A scream and moan voice louder, alternate with some wet things rub each other )
Usopp : (green face) Ughhh….I didn't hear anything…I didn't hear anything
Nami : Here's my camera, let me take a video!...Oh wow…
Sarus : UMMM….TO BE CONTINUE NEXT TIME! ( run to peek at the hole )
Robin : (grin) So…Sanji-kun is not gay, but can have sex with man…and Mr.0…is gay after all…
(ME/ SILLY ISN'T IT? XD I didn't intend to add some X things at first, but can't help it (laugh)…if you have any comments/question please tell me! Next chapter will be soon…next time I will try to be more serious with the question and answer thought! ^_^)