A/N: Listening to the song, "The Bad Touch" by The BloodHound Gang is highly recommended when you reach the cue given in the one-shot.

"Kyle…" The blonde's voice droned in a whiny tone. Kyle resisted the urge to turn around in his office chair and hurl himself at the boy lying on his bed. "Kyle…" His voice sounded again provoking the redhead to bit his lip. He tried to keep his eyes fixed on the calculus problems that lay in front of him. Grabbing his trusty calculator, the Jew punched in a few numbers and scribbled down an answer. "Kyle!" Kenny's voice became abrupt, easily breaking what little concentration Kyle had.

Kyle stiffly turned his head around and regarded his friend. "What is it, Kenny?" The teen rolled onto his stomach and grinned widely. Probably pleased with himself for finally getting my attention. Jackass. The ginger gave Kenny an un-amused glare and crossed his arms expectantly.

"How long are you going to take, Kyle? When you invited me over, I thought we'd actually be doing something fun." He complained, running his fingers through his messy golden hair. "Watching you do your math homework isn't exactly my definition of 'fun'." His fingers played with the loose sweatshirt string that hung from his fur-lined hood.

About a week ago, Kenny was involved in a freak aquarium accident which left his usual orange toned parka completely damaged. His parents didn't have the time to find him a new one so instead; his mother took one of his old orange sweatshirts and sewed fake fur onto the rim of the hood. Kyle had no idea why she believed that sewing fur onto a hoodie would provide him with any more warmth than a standard hoodie would but he chose to leave the matter alone.

Slumping into his chair, Kyle laced his fingers across his chest. "You and I both know that I invited you over to do homework together."

"I didn't think you meant literally!" Kenny rolled his baby blue eyes. "I thought that was some sort of bullshit excuse so my parents wouldn't be the wiser." The teen pulled up his hoodie and pulled the strands so that the hood scrunched around his face, revealing only his eyes, nose and a few strands of golden hair. "Mhis is mmphcking phmmp." Yes, that stupid hoodie was a fine substitute for that parka.

Kyle frowned and turned back to his homework. "I don't care if this is what you consider 'fucking boring'. My teacher's going to have a fit if I don't have this done by tomorrow." Kyle heard Kenny moan in possible boredom from behind him. "Besides, I thought that you'd be a little more interested in doing well in your classes after almost flunking last year and getting forced into the college level math program."

"Mph!" Kenny said loudly, moving his hood down. "For your information, I got an A in English."

"By sleeping with our student teacher." Kyle finished, turning on his forest green colored desk lamp.

"Oh, come off of it. She was twenty six! We had a real connection, in and out of the classroom." While Kyle couldn't see the blonde's expression, he could guarantee that he was wearing a cocky smirk.

"I should've told Principal Victoria what happened. It was your fault for not locking the classroom door and you should have to deal with the consequences." Kyle said as he wrote 'fifty four' in the answer box.

"If you hadn't forgotten your stupid pencil case, you'd be in the same position as everyone else; Oblivious to the fact that anything happened between me and Ms. Parker." Kyle gave the blonde a sideways glance. "Besides, I think the reason you didn't tell on me was because you were looking out for me." Kyle wheeled around in his chair again, flashing Kenny an annoyed look. "I think you were jealous." Kenny finished with a satisfied grin.

"Me? Jealous?" Kyle gave a short, half-hearted laugh. "Sorry to burst your bubble but not everybody wants to sleep with you."

"You're right. Not everybody." Kenny agreed, nodding thoughtfully. "Only the entire population of South Park, excluding you." Kenny met Kyle's hard look and ran his tongue over his chapped lips. "I don't know about you, Kyle, but I hate to leave things unfinished."

Kyle felt his cheeks involuntarily heat up and gave Kenny a blank look before turning back around. "Asshole." He muttered under his breath.

Kenny shrugged and put his hands behind his head. "Hey, Kyle. Do you mind getting me something to eat? My mom ran out of Pop Tarts yesterday and I didn't have anything to eat on my way over."

Kyle tightly gripped his pencil for setting it down on his desk and sighed deeply. "If I do that, will you quiet down a bit?"

"Only if you let me listen to some music later." Kenny replied, closing his eyes.

"Fine." Kyle said curtly before leaving his room, shutting the door behind him.

Kenny took this opportunity to sit up and look at Kyle's iPod which lay in the docking station. He scrolled through the songs, pausing every once in a while to look at a certain artist. His eyes wandered from the docking station to the posters on the wall. Einstein quotes, theorems and the occasional action movie poster lined his walls. Typical nerd fashion. Kenny could hear Kyle and his mom downstairs and with a smile on his lips, decided to have a little fun with his Jewish friend.

Kyle opened the door to his room. "Alright, Ken. I wasn't sure if you preferred white or brown bread so I…" The redhead stopped mid-sentence as his eyes caught sight of the blonde stretched out on his bed in a provocative pose. Kenny's eye lids were lowered and his typical smirk had made yet another appearance on his seductive face. His orange sweatshirt had ridden up to his waist, revealing his bare skin. Kyle stared, completely speechless.

"How about joining me on the bed? Maybe take a study break?" Kenny chuckled softly, liking the reaction he was getting out of his friend. Kyle casually reached over to grab the eraser on his desk and whipped it at the posing blonde. "Ow! Fuck, Kyle! What the hell?" He clutched his stomach in pain.

"Thanks for reminding me that since I haven't gotten any work done, I CAN'T take a study break." Kyle said, frustrated. "Maybe if you stopped being such a goddamn distraction…"

"Aw, Kyle. Don't be like that." Kenny said, still tenderly rubbing the developing bruise on the side of his stomach. "I'm just saying, you have a bisexual pervert in your bedroom right now. I think normal people would approach this situation a little differently." Kyle leaned on his open hand and began copying down one of the numerous formulas that his teacher had assigned. "Can I, at least, put on some music?"

The daywalker took a deep breath and considered the request before shrugging. "Yeah, sure. I don't see any harm in that." He heard Kenny move across the bed and heard him move some stuff away. "My iPod's in the docking station."

"I'm not going to use your iPod. I'm using your CD player." Kenny replied.

Kyle stopped writing for a brief moment, confused. "But why…" He was cut off as the song began to play. A catchy beat began to play from the speakers. Kyle couldn't help but start to gently sway to the song. "Hey, this isn't a bad beat. What song is-" He got cut off as the lyrics began to start.

Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought
Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about

Kyle paled at the lyrics and slowly revolved around his chair. "No, you didn't…" He said in a mixture of fear and disbelief. He trailed off once he saw Kenny dancing along to the music. He mouthed the words with an eerie degree of accuracy, never breaking eye contact from the, now fearful, Jew.

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

Kenny's dance moves mainly consisted of pelvic movements and cheeky looks as he started to play with the edge of his sweatshirt. After mouthing a few more lyrics, he took off his orange sweatshirt. His bare chest was in full view as his hands started to move downwards, gripping the waistband of his jeans. Kyle's eyes widened as he slumped in his chair, feeling uncomfortable by this sudden strip show. That's what it was, wasn't it? A strip show. What am I doing? Kyle's rational thoughts finally gained control once more. Looking left and right, he spotted the novel he was reading, Wuthering Heights, just an arm's length away.

Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas
But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory"

Kenny had just finished undoing the jeans' button when the book started flying towards him. "The fuck?" Admittedly, the blonde hadn't been paying too much attention to what Kyle was doing while he was performing his strip show for him. He had closed his eyes for a brief moment when he realised that the book had hit the stereo and forced the music off.

"Kenny, knock it off. I'm trying to study here…and put your clothes back on." Kyle said simply before shifting his attention away from the half-naked teen.

Kenny bent down and picked up the novel. "Wuthering Fucking Heights?" Kenny carelessly flipped through the book, completely unfazed by the fact that he was still shirtless with his jeans unbuttoned. "You read this shit?"

"I'm not talking to you anymore." Kyle said through gritted teeth. He was glad he ended that when he did. He didn't know how much longer he could've held out. As much as Kyle hated to admit it, he was taken by the pervert's charismatic personality and good looks. He had made a promise to himself that he wouldn't give in to Kenny's beckoning words or seductive glances. He knew the only reason the blonde was after him was because of his resistance against his sexual advances. Once Kyle gave in, Kenny would simply move on to his next challenge. He liked the attention that Kenny was giving him but he had to set that aside and focus on his schoolwork. Schoolwork always comes first.

"Kyle…" Two arms wrapped around the neck of the ginger, causing him to stiffen.

"What the hell are you doing?" Kyle's hands flew over his homework papers and angled his face away from Kenny's.

"I'm just returning the book to you." He answered smoothly. Kyle felt Kenny rest his head on top of his own and gently place the book back on the desk.

"There, you returned it. Now can you go back to the bed?" Kyle asked, almost pleadingly.

Kenny moved his hands to grip Kyle's wrists. "Can I see your homework? I just want to know how much longer I'll be staying here."

Kyle shook his head quickly and kept his hands planted over the surface of his papers. "No, you're just going to copy the answers."

"You know I'm not going to do that." Kenny said. "You're acting like a baby."

"Seriously, go back to the bed." Kyle said, giving him a firm stare.

Kenny released his hold and held his hands up in mock surrender. "Alright, Kyle. You win. I'll just go back to the bed and put my clothes back on." Kyle heard the blonde take a few steps away before letting out a sigh of relief and removing his hands. Almost as quick as he had stripped, Kenny appeared by the Jew's side and snatched the papers from out of his sight.

"Kenny!" Kyle exclaimed and made a grabbing motion at the papers which Kenny skillfully dodged. His eyes looked over the problems and turned to Kyle with a puzzled look. Kyle ended his attempts at re-claiming the papers and gave Kenny a nervous smile.

"These problems are all done." Kenny raised an eyebrow in Kyle's direction. "How long have you had these done for? I thought you were still working on them."

"Well, I…you see…" Kyle stumbled over his words. He had finished the math homework a long time ago. While preparing the sandwich, his mom had said that Kenny could only stay for as long as the problems remained unfinished.

"You fucker, you've had these done for quite some time now." Kenny ruffled his hair. "You've been giving me all this shit about distracting you when you just wanted to find another reason to keep me in your room. You didn't want me to leave." Kyle gave Kenny a sheepish look but remained speechless. "You could've thrown me out. The moment I ditched my sweatshirt, you could've kicked me out and slammed the door. You've been secretly admiring me, haven't you?" The teen slowly approached the embarrassed redhead. "You've been purposely declining my advances so I would continue to persist." Kyle backed up into his wall and mentally calculated how long it would take for him to sprint to the bedroom door. "You've thrown an eraser and a fucking book at me just so you could keep up your charade. You want me just as much as I want you."

"That's not true." Kyle said quickly. Kenny was now inches away from his body, his bare chest contrasting with Kyle's loose fitting green t-shirt. "Kenny. You have three seconds to back the fuck away from me." Kyle said harshly. One last stand. "One." Kenny's eyes danced with amusement, his signature smug creeping onto his lips. "Two." Kyle glowered at the pervert. "I'm warning you, Kenny."

"Three." Kenny finished for him and crashed his lips against the shocked ginger's. Kenny moved his body as close to Kyle as he could get, pressing the Jew's back against the hard wall. Kyle tried to push him away only to have Kenny lightly bit him on the lip. They pulled away for a brief moment, Kyle's eyes narrowed.

"You're such a goddamn pervert, Kenny." Kenny laughed and began kissing Kyle's neck. Kyle gave a low growl in response and closed his eyes. Kyle brought his hands up to Kenny's yellow locks and wound themselves into them. "You're such a distraction…"

Kenny grinned and moved up to meet Kyle's lips once more. Slipping his tongue into Kyle's mouth, Kenny's hands grabbed the edge of Kyle's shirt and moved his slightly calloused hands underneath. Kyle gasped at Kenny's touch and gave him further access to his mouth.

Their tongues moved together and allowed every inch of each other's mouth to be explored. Kyle sucked softly on Kenny's bottom lip which resulted in a moan. "God, Kyle…" Kenny said softly. "My job is to make you moan, not the other way around."

Kyle grinned and gave the blonde a look of disbelief. "Yeah? Try me." Kenny dipped his head lower and after riding the shirt up, let his tongue run over Kyle's chest. Shivering from the blonde's touch, Kyle squeezed his eyes shut and moaned softly.

Kenny's hand dipped lower to Kyle's belt buckle and hastily undid the barrier between him and Kyle's underwear. Tossing the belt onto the bed, Kenny began to place kisses upwards. Once he reached Kyle's mouth once more, the blonde heatedly kissed him for a few seconds before pressing his forehead against Kyle's. "You're way better than math homework…" Kyle said, slightly breathless.

Kenny smirked and slid his hand down Kyle's pants. Kyle moaned loudly at Kenny's touch, his cheeks growing as red as the hair on his head.

"Now that Math's all done…" Kenny smirked, mischievously. "We can finally move on to Human Anatomy."