Epilogue
After more than two hours of storytelling, yelling and a Q&A session from hell, silence finally settled over the conference room at Slayer headquarters. Outside the wind howled around the castle, the only sound now as all of them awkwardly stared at one another.
Except Bubba, he turned from where he was watching the scenery outside and grinned at everyone before turning back around.
"Well, I think that's it then," Giles said, tugging off his glasses and cleaning them. "The plan is that there is no plan. What could go wrong with that?"
"Not much that can be done about it," Xander shrugged from the next to him, also looking unhappy. "Can't exactly do reconnaissance in alternate dimensions. Right, Will?"
On the other side of Giles, Willow leaned forward to look at Xander. She shook her head with a frown, but then shrugged.
"I mean, technically, that's kind of what we're doing. We're looking for an item tied to Wolfram and Hart and taking it, but just bringing it back here-"
"We're going to have to buy a curio cabinet for all the evil knickknacks they bring back," Dawn said from beside Xander, who snorted softly in response.
"And," Willow went on with a stern glance at Dawn. "We're researching magics there, but not actually doing any. The more we can get without them finding out what we're up to, the better shot we have. Remember, you want to be discreet."
The last was said to Buffy, who gave a nervous laugh and a hand wave. "Sure, sure. Discreet is my- uh, our middle name."
Even the mismatched group on her side of the table looked at her dubiously at that statement. She gave them a forced smile.
"Well, that's it then," Giles said, standing. "We'll start tomorrow with the first dimensional hop, Willow?"
"Yep, should be set by then," she agreed, also standing.
Dawn stood next but held out a hand before anyone else could.
"Wait,wait, there's something we need to discuss, first. Buffy, you went to another dimension and picked up a dark, broody, but hot, vampire," she said, pointing at Rasul, who was eyeing everyone suspiciously from next to Buffy. "A blond inappropriate, but hot, vampire," Eric gave a slightly fangy smirk from his lounging position in the chair on the other side of Buffy. "A gay witch," Amelia smiled dreamily at Willow from down the table. "A pretty blond with no filter."
"I think I've filtered myself pretty well, considering," Pam said from beside Eric, giving Dawn sultry look that had Xander looking between them so fast he was going to get whiplash.
"A chick with a potty mouth and a thing for leather," Dawn went on quickly, face slightly pink as Hadley continued to pick at her nails. "And a guy who's generally useless but makes you smile and every once in a while comes in really handy. Does this sound remotely familiar to anyone?"
"I'm Elv-" Willow leaned past Giles to slap a hand over Xander's mouth.
"Bubba, his name is Bubba."
"Oooookay, I'm 'Bubba' in this scenario? I'm not sure whether to be insulted by the description of my place in the group or proud that I'm freaking, Elv- uh, Bubba in this comparison."
"Old Xander was mostly useless," Dawn said, patting his arm. "New Xander's a badass."
"That… doesn't really make it better."
"I like bein' handy," Bubba put in from his spot by the window, giving Buffy a winning smile that she couldn't help but return.
"You're very helpful, Bubba," she said.
"Did you pick up a new sister while you were out, too?" Dawn interrupted, refusing to let this (embarrassing) analysis of Buffy's life go.
"Oh, maybe this is you," Eric said as he hoisted the still sulking Jake up for them to see from where he'd been huddled on the floor, refusing to even look at any of them.
Buffy burst out laughing as both Dawn and Jake gave the same annoyed expression.
"I think you need some therapy, not an apocalyptic war," Dawn said. "You know the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, right?"
"Well, nobody ever accused me of being sane. Might as well go with what I know," Buffy said, standing with a stretch and a yawn. "I think I'm going to get a little sleep before we start with the interdimensional jet lag."
Willow caught her eye and she lingered as the bickering group exited the room. They'd all actually taken everything remarkably well – both the Scoobies who hadn't known what Buffy was up to and just had Willow pop into Slayer Headquarters with her and her ragtag group of misfits, and the misfits themselves who'd looked mildly impressed by the castle but not much more than that (probably considering they'd just come from a freaky magic carnival).
"You know this could take a while, right?" Willow said, as the two of them fell in step behind the group out in the hall. "A lifetime long, maybe. There's a lot of dimensions and Wolfram and Hart could be everywhere. We don't know that the new spell Fern and I are working on will ever do what it's supposed to. Dimension hopping and blocking might be the only answer."
"I know," Buffy shrugged. "But we have a plan now and something that works, even if it takes a longer. A way to stop them. No way I'm not seeing that through."
"Well, I don't think you'll be bored anymore, at least," Willow said, watching Hadley lunge at a laughing Pam while Jake tried to bite Bubba as he went in for a pet.
A girl came out of a room ahead of the group, doing a double take after glancing back at them.
"Holy shit! Is that Elvis?!"
Buffy grinned over the answering roar. "No. I really don't think I will be."
THE END (kinda)
Author's Note: So, that's it for The Cure for Boredom! We'll be seeing the group again later on, but I'll start a new story for that and it'll be more like a collection of one-shots following their adventures in other dimensions. Thank you so much to everyone that stuck it out with me. I know I made it tough with the long breaks and the longer story. And especially thanks to those who left such kind, encouraging reviews – I'm not kidding when I say they were what kept me coming back to work on it. Love you guys!