This was not written for 'use of grammar' or spelling or anything showing off my writing skills! I just wrote it because i was bored :D enjoy! I hope it made you laugh because I was cracking up while writing this! :D

Ok, I'll admit it. I'm drunk. Sipping on my twenty seventh martini, I stumbled across the room dragging my feet as I tried to get to Lissa. I barely felt her through the bond which wasn't a good sign. Why did I suggest going to the party at Jesse's dorm room anyway? I knew there was going to be alcohol but it never occurred to me that I would've been the one chugging it down. I felt like I was about to vomit all over his leather couches. If only I could sense what Liss was doing.

"Hey, baby cakes. Mm you're looking pretty feisty tonight gurlll." Ralf was hitting on Avery. I never liked that Avery bitch. She's such a slut with the way she was flinging her chest at him in her black lacy corset top. And those short shorts didn't help with her rep, nor did her fishnet leggings! Wow, she really knows how to cover up today! I bet her daddy yelled at her telling her that her usual outfits were 'a tad too revealing'. Normally she would flaunt down the hallways in a lacy thong and bra get-up...and don't forget her eight inch stilettos! No wonder Ralfy boi was macking on her. Maybe if I dressed like that Dimitri would do that to me. I should ask to borrow some of her clothes.

I stood up from the black leather couches slowly so I wouldn't upset my stomach. This was some spicy party Jesse is throwing. Sleepover party. Gotta love em.

But a thought occurred to me. Why did Jesse invite these people who aren't even his friends to his eighteenth birthday party? I turn to see Christian belly dancing on the coffee table flinging his shirt in the air like some male stripper.

"Go Christian!" I shout and dumped the rest of my alcoholic beverage on his chest and then he lit himself on fire. H-to-the-O-to-the-T. Hot! Haha, oh that Christy. Such a feisty little one I tell you.

"Thank, Rosie!" he then spanked my ass with his shirt, using it as a whip and I laughed. If Lissa was here to see this she would crack up! I knew how she was a party animal.

Ah, speaking of the devil, Lissa came in locked around Adrian's arms in her ferocious and skanky kitten outfit that she found in Avery's 'Halloween costume' stash. Before the party started, we stole some of Avery's clothes. I'm dressed as a cougar. Meeeeeyow! But I couldn't find the cougar ears headband so I had to use a cheetah one instead...either way I looked pretty feisty.

"GATHER ROUND THE CAMPFIRE YAW!" Jesse ran out with a leopard print speedo and then sat in the middle of the floor. Everyone sat down around him as if it was story time in kindergarten.

"The hell do you want, fucking messed up wanna be Tarzan." Lissa flicked Jesse off and Adrian came to sit next to me.

"I have...a GHOST STORY! AHHH!" he raised up his arms all the way and attempted to mimic a ghost. Everyone in the room focused their attention to the madman.

"Ok, once upon a time there was a girl named...SHANNON WINTER and she was walking in the woods alone at night with the full moon out and shinin'. OOOOO!"

"Who the hell is Shannon Winter, dumbass!" Mia punched Jesse in the face, giving him a nazty black eye. Jesse laughed.

"Some girl I pay to have sex with, YOU SILLY BEAN!"

"Why does it matter if you know who she is or not, dickweed!" Mason kicked Mia in the vagina and she just stood there, unharmed.

"Sorry sucka! Imma girl! Ooowa oowa!" Mia did a lil' raise the roof action.

"just get to the damn story!" I slurred my words together and put my head on Adrian's shoulder.

Jesse continued, "So, she was walking in the woods whennnnnnn...BAM! SHE APPEARS AT THE OLD ABANDONED MANSION BY THE NAME smith manor!"

Everyone in the room released the most shrill scream that all of the windows in the room shattered.

"Awww! Hell no! My favorite wine glass!" Adrian kicked the wall, putting a huge dent in it.

"What kind of story is that? THERE WASN'T EVEN ANY FUCKING GHOSTS? HOW DARE YOU CALL IT A GHOST STORY!" Lissa screamed at Jesse so loud that I thought the guardians would hear.

"Lissa shut up! You're so loud!" I whispered intensely. When I heard a noise sounding like clattering loose change I turned around and saw that Avery was stripping on the coffee table and Ralf and Yeva Belikov were throwing change into a bowl Avery had out. Lissa was so pissed at Avery for stealing all of the attention she always wanted as a child and took out my stake and stabbed Avery in the heart. Avery then fell to the ground and started twitching as the blood drizzled out of her veins and her eyes rolled back into her head.

"Well, got rid of the whore." she brushed her hands together as if she was brushing chalk off her hands and kicked Avery's dead body aside.

Ralf then looked sneakily around and locked dead Avery and himself in a closet. Sicko! He was going to have sex with her dead body! I stood up for Avery's honor and grabbed one of the many sledgehammer's around the room and nailed it into his skull. Ralf fell to the floor and I kicked them both aside in the closet.

"No one tell anyone!" I eyed each and everyone in the room. Lissa smiled genuinely at me and gave me a thumbs up as I sat gracefully back onto the floor.

Jesse then smacked his whiteboard that had a list of actives we were supposed to be doing with a ruler. There was only three things on the list. Git Drunk and gost storys, spelled exactly like that, were crossed out. The only thing left on the list was a nice friendly game of TRUE...or REEEEEEEEEEEAL, as seen in icarly, which was Also known as truth or dare.

"now we shall beh doin dis game, now." He sat back down in the circle that included me, Lissa, Adrian, Christian, Mia, and Yeva.

"me no speak english." Yeva looked at me cross eyed.

"Sure...that's what they all say." I punched her in the arm lightly.

"DON'T SASS MEH GURL!" she ripped off her shirt. WOAH! SHE HAD SOME RIPPED ABS! And...some saggy tits...ew. Jesse stared at Yeva's chest with such devotion, drool came flying out of his beaver mouth.

"Put your fucking shirt on Yevs, or I'm calling the damn cops!" Lissa covered her eyes and puked all over Christian.

"okie dookie!" she grabbed a sports bra out of Jesse's dresser. Jesse flushed.

"That's my...uh...pet walrus's bra...not mine."

"Right." I rolled my eyes. These people are idiots. I can't wait until Lissa and I leave this trashy dump to go to a real town, where it was ok to have sex with moroi men AND have them drink your blood. Living like a blood whore! WHOOOO!

Jesse cleared his throat extremely loudly, "OK, Lissa truth or reaaaaaal?"

"Real." she picked

"Are you preggers with Adrian's baby?" The room became silent. Adrian looked around suspiciously.

"yes." she said in the most quiet voice possible and turned to look at Christian.

Christian looked to be fine, he just smiled at Lissa and poked her tummy saying, "WHO'S YOUR DADDY? WHO'S YOUR DADDY?"

Adrian then looked up at Lissa and winked.

"Ok! Your turn sissy lissy!" Jesse stared at Lissa with a cheerful and wide eyed expression. His face reminded me of a leprechaun.

"Umm...Truth or Real?" She asked Mia.

"Truth." she rolled her eyed and huffed at the ridiculous game.

"How many times have you been preggers, huh?"

Mia's face looked utterly sheepish and she hesitated before she whispered, "twelve. I was preggers twelve times and had twelve abortions...the fathers of all twelve babies were also...umm Jesse and Ralf."

"SCANDOLOUS!" Adrian and Christian shouted instantaneously. Then they did this complex and fancy handshake and then yelled, "we're sexy! Ait' foo!" for the finale of the handshake they crossed their arms and went back to back like gangsters.

Jesse's face was atrociously horrified for a few seconds and then he went back to his CRAZY self and put on a purple top hat and said in a squeaky voice, "It's your turn Korea Mia."

She thought intensely about this question for a while and then turned to Mason, "Have you even had sex with Rose?"

"Yes." mason winked at me and I gasped. THAT LIAR! That is sooo not true! SOMEONE'S GOING TO DIE!

I grabbed the nearest stake and stabbed him in the chest. He was out in a few seconds, but he was more of a bloody victim than Ralf or Avery.

"AHH THE CARPET!" Jesse screamed as he grabbed a towel and started soaking up Mason's blood off the floor. I quickly threw Mason's dead body into the closet with Ralf and Avery. Wow, there must be some party in there!

"Ok, back to the game." Jesse did a creepy smile that reminded me of Mr. Zeigler, which was my old German teacher back in the day. "It's your turn Roza."

"Hmm..." I thought about who to ask when suddenly...DIMITRI WALKS IN!

"Rose! Where were you! You were scheduled on my list at three-thirty-seven in the morning! And now I have a lot of unhappy customers!" Oops! I forgot about my late night 'sessions' with Dimitri! Oh, well, he has Tasha for that. Everyone knows how Tasha is obsessed with him. Once I saw her peeking through his window with some binoculars! No offense to that bitchy whore, but that's just extremely creepy...I mean who does that?

Whatever, but this game is going to get a whole lot more spicy with Dimka around...

OOOOO find out what secrets Dimka is hiding! And GASP! the famous lady tt and tasha ozeeeeeeeera! ahhh! Review please! :D tell me if you laughed or not! ooo! and what part was the most funnnnnnay! ...yeah that's just about it...