1. He hates her long hair that tickles his cheek when he bends low to kiss her. He hates it when she's forgotten - or doesn't care enough - to shampoo it for days, when it lies oily and dank across her pillow and part of his. He particularly hates it when she says, looking aggrieved, "Well everyone else seems to like it," when he mentions a haircut - like he's the same as everyone else, his opinion of perfunctory interest.

2. He hates the way she and Sirius bond over mutual sibling-hatred whenever the odd letter - or vase that screams break-me - from Petunia arrives. He's always wanted a big family but Lily only laughs in his face when he mentions it, telling him to be grateful for his parents' restraint. As for the implication towards the present state - or lack thereof - of their family... well, she prefers to ignore it.

3. He hates the way her hand reaches out automatically to pat his hair down whenever he ruffles it up. "Are you jealous?" he teases her, because he knows he looks his best with his patented just-off-a-broomstick scruffed-up hair. But she only turns her glassy eyes indifferently up at him and at lunch, she keeps on talking about 'Sev'.

4. She can't cook. Top of the class in Potions and she cannot cook. For the first time in his life, he finds himself commander-in-chief of culinary operations and dociley, she salts the soup and shells pea according to his instructions. Perhaps it's a refreshing change after a lifetime of his mother's ironclad "No men in my kitchen", but then when the peas come unshelled and the soup bitingly sweet to the table, it's not quite as refreshing.

5. He hates the way she regards his surprise gifts - the bars of dark chocolate that he knows she loves, the yellow roses and archaic tomes on advanced Transfiguration. There's mistrust in her eyes and more often than not, a cold, cutting suspicion in her voice when she asks, "Now what did you do wrong?" She doesn't ever suspect him of the simplest and most selfish of motives - to make her happy.

6. He hates the way he's made to feel - by Dumbledore, by her friends, by Remus, by her - that he's never good enough for her. That he'll only be good enough to be deemed human and not the insufferable toerag he is, when she reforms him and that the only thing between salvation and damnation is his love for her. It's the perennial cliche - the redemption of the beast by a good woman's love - but sometimes he wonders whether he deserves to be branded a monster while she coasts off on the role of his guardian angel.

7. He hates the fact that it's always him saying, "I love you."

8. He hates how she's always nagging him to get rid of his glasses and use the eye ointments she can whip up anytime in her cauldron. "They add character to my face," he protests and she only howls with laughter and tells him that it's an idiot. But then she adds that he's her idiot, so it isn't that bad.

9. He hates the way she won't yell or slam doors or hurl his broomstick at him when she's really mad. Instead she just sits on the sofa, knees tucked up to her chest, and stares at the wall, lips drawn into a thin, taut, unyielding line. It's worse.

10. But the thing he hates most of all is that inspite of everything, he can't hate her at all.

A/N: I've read many of those 'Ten Things I hate about you' on Lily's side. Most of them turn out to be very cutesy, so I was wondering how a fic of this sort on James' side would turn out to be, because it's very rarely that I see any kinds of fics in which James ever seems to resent anything Lilywards.