Title: Hypervodka Hallucinations

Summary: A few days after sinking so low the Doctor gave out relationship advice, Jack decides that Hypervodka is better than reality, anyways.

Warnings: None

It took Jack three days to emerge from the drunken stupor he had willfully sunk to. Currently, sitting on some asteroid bar trying (and failing) to remember his first name, a nearly-immortal man stared moodily into his Hypervodka and cursed all those young men with their innocent eyes.

Meeting Alonso had been nice, sure, but he was too much like Ianto, too fresh and hopeful. Just touching the Midshipman made him feel ill. As the kid stammered and blushed adorably, he'd whispered his apologies and taken off for the lowest, seediest-looking bar he could find.

The drink had been flowing freely for days, and thanks to an unlimited credit chip given long ago in good trust, he'd never once been cut off. He might have wasted a death or two somewhere along the line, but it was hard to tell at this point.

"I'll have whatever he's had. Looks like it worked, whatever it was."

Jack couldn't honestly remember what all he'd tossed back, but as he turned to warn off the woman who sat next to him, the words died in his throat.

When he finally spoke, he made sure to thank the bartender for the blonde, grinning hallucination.