An: omg i m so sry i havnt wriet anything foer the las WEAK! i awes stating 2 get bord fo the dstry and i thout asbut ending it YES YES YES YES but id wecied nt 2 becuz i liek it Well that makes one of us, darling. and i have ides on ho 2b contine it! No, no I don't like the sound of you and… Ideas.

XOX

"hagrjd deds ot help!" i scaremed 2 ron SO… MUCH… SCREAMING…

"omwtf?" raon scrambed bac 2 me Okay hold up – Ron was the one to see… Whatever it was that happened with Hagrid. She should be the confused one. Just saying.

"we hv 2 go save him!" i scaremed bac 2 ron.

soi then me nand ron ran ot 2 hawtgrids huase in teb outisde ofb thne castle we aw tht nape ansd dubmlrfor wer atcking HagridWHY UGH

" IT U RETQS! … What "I scaremd runing up to them.

"AVDRA KADSVA!" scanremdf 2 me but his soprl mised nme Or just didn't work because he said 'Avdra Kadsva'… and hitb as tre behindbn mne instedf.

"lol ur naidot! HE IS TRYING TO KILL YOU, SWEETHEART. I KNOW IT'S HARD TO CONTROL YOU IMMATURITY SOMETIMES BUT DO TRY."i scaremd 2 snaope who eran at me.

"no!" i scamrfed and dron pujnch snape inb the nuts You are wizards and witches. Why is everyone kicking/punching everyone in the groin?

"mmtherfucjker!" snaeo scaremd 2 ron

"retartd" Aaaand slow clap that out, guys. A nice hand for the maturity and seriousness on display here. ron scaremebd bac 2 snape

"shth UP!" dujbmledor saidI don't know who or what you are or what you're doing here but thank you, dujbmledor.

"get the fuc aweyt frm her TYA!" hagirf yeld 2 meBecause this is totally a lethal fight.

"ok!" i sacmed and ran intol the forbind foest! Hold up, where were you before? i keptrunikgn and rinin becbz i was sdosv scare dthast dubmelfr and nsdape wher gogin 2 kol me Okay, I think we all deserve some sort of award for being able to read this – even just get the gist of it. i ketol runikngb ujhtil u nkt realikzed tht ron was sdtil ther. Good job looking out for the love of your life there, honey.

"OMG!" i saremd and sturned around and rhan back

"avda kafvad" What does that spell even do? i scamred adn ptined the my wnadb at snae and dumbleofr and it hit them int he ntusand they did.Am I the only one noticing the obsession with maiming people's balls this chick seems to have?

"omg u savd mne ay!" rin said adn he aern over 2 kis me

"no prbm!" i siad bac 2 ron

"we hvs 2 run" hgird said 2 theb both of me tbnad ron. I'd like to just take a minute here to remind everyone how completely ridiculous everything that is going on here actually is. Because otherwise you could actually begin to understand what is happening in this 'story'. In which case, you know that you have finally cracked, and you are left at an intelligence level capable of writing stupidly popular teen novels about sparkling vampires, or really shitty BDSM Twilight fanfiction.

"swhy?" i said bac 2 hagerid

"becu volmdmart wil no u kied dumblkforna At least Dumbledore is still on their side. I don't know if Dumbledore has actually appeared in this story at all, just a lot of really strange people with similar names who keep cropping up. dna snaeop and jhel wnt 2 koll u 2!" hagird bac said 2 me

"OMG NO!" iscarmed adn rstarted 2 cryGET IT TOGETHER.

"dbtn wrry il portct u tayr" ron said vb2 me

"thnx!" i saidb sotping to cry and ghugin ron. I think I might throw up. Also, thanks, blatant sexism and stupid female characters.

"mno problem" ron adi bac 2 me bklushing.

"do u hav any friends u want 2 vav 2 Well that doesn't sound sexual at all…?" hagrd said 2 us

"yes!" I scaremd Aaand the screaming returns.

"rose!"

"and hry' hary said!… Harry…? I see the author is showing us their magical teleporting skills, apparently.

"oky u bhav 2 go nad get rhtem!" hagri sadi 2 us

"ok we wil!" i scarmed abd me and ron weran ba c23 up 2 ht ecastkle 2 find eorse nad hary. theyb wher in the grindor comun rom pyng cheker.Their best friends have flipped out at them because of a threesome they had and all, shouldn't they be worried or something at least?

"we hav 23 ron You have 23 of him? No, I don't want to hear about your two-person orgy. awy vodemot is comign!" i samred

"omg " rorse said bac 2 me

"lts so!" hary scaredIt's so… What?

theb ther of us rabn dwn 2 hagrid agan.

"o k we ary reding bargid You're… Reading? I thought there was a rush with all of this – Voldemort and such…" i sadi 2 arg id

"god" he hnsaid bac 2 e If she was God, the world would truly be a terrifying place.

"whr r we gonig?" said rose 2 ahrigd

"te forbidebn forts! Are they like, treehouses that no one is allowed in?"harigd said 2 rose

"omg no!" i sacrmed You were in the Forbidden Forest (assuming that's what we mean, rather than prohibited play forts) a couple of minutes ago! And you didn't seem to mind running straight in, and leaving Ron behind fighting Snaep and Dumbleklajsdnfjknasfdore, and his many other similarly-named friends.

"tht plce is dngerous!" ron scrmed

"its the olnlyn p;alceb we r safe! The Hogwarts Castle is pretty damn safe with these sort of things, normally…" hafrirdsadi.

"k lets go!" hatyh said. Well, that was a quick change of heart. I guess everyone in this story just suffers from ridiculous moodswings all the time…

2 b comntieued! (LEV NICE COMENTERS THIS TIE RETARSD AND MNAKE THME SHRT!) Okay, not gonna lie, all I saw there was something about 'this tie' being nice, and making them a shirt.