Infamous: The Abridged Series

(This series will only use language used in the game. This is written for entertainment purposes and I own nothing. Reviews are cherished.)

"Zip-a-di-do-da, zip-a-di-day, wonderful people wonderful day, zip-a-di-do-da, zip-a-di-yay. Whoa, ugly person on the ground. And…he's in a crater. OH, RIGHT, the experiment. Better poke him with a stick to see if he's okay. Hmm…this piece of electric wire should do fine…."

"Holy mother of hell…. what? That makes no religious sense. Whatever. Man, I feel beat. My groovy meter is busted up. My sweet pants and jacket are all messed up, my sweet do' is gone. Oh, and the blood all over me. Man, it feels like some ribs are broken, cooked, and ate over some BBQ and man, my bladders blown up, this leg feels like it's about to start having a spasm an- Oh my god my bladders been blown up. Why the hell is there a giant spot on my chest where it looks like someone poked an electric rod through my chest? I mean seriousl-

Cole was interrupted by the sound of a helicopter yelling curse words at everything it saw. Or maybe it was the driver doing the yelling, he couldn't tell over the sound of him yelling over his blown up bladder. The helicopter couldn't hear anything over the random screaming, so he started yelling at Cole personally.

"YO, MAN, JOE, WHAT'S YOUR NAME, STOP YELLING 'MAN, OH MAN, OH MAN' LIKE A TEENAGE BOY AND GET OUT OF THERE!" The helicopter man heard some more yelling across from a building, something about communism and fish conspiracies. He sighed and went to either stop or help the guy jump off the building.

Cole started running off into the neat and convenient path made for him. "How the hell am I jumping, anyway? Seriously, next thing you know I'm going to have the power of flight…" he said as he ran past a bunch of broken electrical wires. Which was not very smart when you think about it. And the electricity that shocked him did not prove otherwise.

He wondered why he wasn't dead. "Maybe I have electrical powers…. Nah must have been that electrical wire that was inside me. I'm just going to flip a coin and say yes to electrical powers. Even though if I'm wrong I'm dead." He shrugged. He continued running across the blown up building with a surprisingly linear path. "I swear, if someone arranged this I'm going to call the cops so hard on them!" He reached the bridge where he saw some cops dancing in panic in place. "Never mind, I retract my previous statement."

Cole ducked past the Native-American tribe dancers and ran as fast as his injured, bleeding, bladder-assimilated, body could take him. Which could take him faster then most people at top speed interestingly enough. As he stepped on the bridge, he suddenly noticed it was raining lightning. He decided if his supposedly powers helped him live by it, he swore to make a band that was called that. He fainted as he saw some kind of donkey person at the end of the bridge calling his name in a Southern accent. He decided that the donkey-mule-thing would be a nice drummer to the band.