O_O
So I sat and agonized over the next chapter for WEEKS, and then this just kind of sprung from my hands before I knew what I was doing...
Hope you don't mind it. It's kind of a recap/explaination of Spain's side of things thus far. haha.
The PM mentioned here is Prime Minister Alberoni, a Spanish Cardinal who was instrumental in fixing Spain post War of Spanish Succesion. One of the stipulations of peace after the War of the Quadruple Alliance was that he be dismissed from office. The queen is Isabella Farnesse, and Itallian princess who, some say, pushed her husband toward a policy of re-conquering South Italy.
Hope you enjoy. Feedback is HIGHLY appreciated.
EDIT 7/21/11: Added translations, fixed some typos.
The following is a series of excerpts from an unusually large stack of top secret correspondences pertaining to the War of the Quadruple Alliance. This collection, mostly letters, still sits hidden away in many different drawers in a state mansion in Vienna.
A short letter, discovered in the pack of a Spanish tradesman en route to Vienna:
Carísimo Lovino,
¿Cómo estás? It's been…. A month since they took you from me. I was sick for some time after that, or I would have tried to write sooner. ¡Lo prometo! (Aw, don't look at me like that! I'm telling the truth!)
I know those bastards mean to keep you from communicating with me, but I'll figure something out somehow. I'm going to go crazy like this.(And don't say that I'm already crazy. It's never smart to call a crazy person out, you know Lovinito.)
I can't say anything important—just in case this letter is found—but I want you to know that I'm already putting plans into motion to get you back.
Te amo,
Antonio
PS: If this reaches you, please reply. I would hope my courier manages to get it to you somehow—if so, send your reply letter back with him. If not… well, you'll think of something. You're so smart!~
Letter discovered rolled into one empty bottle of Juarez Sherry and hidden amongst a shipment for a state mansion in Vienna:
Carísimo Lovino,
¿Cómo estás?As for me, I am feeling a little better. There is still a lot left over to clean up after everyone decided to fight on my land, haha~ Don't worry Lovi, I can handle it.
My new king is not bad, even if he is originally one of France's people. (Don't worry, he's not much like Francis. I promise he won't try anything weird! He knows he'd be introduced with my lovely axe if he tried~) He's married a princess of yours, actually. She's very headstrong, but kind. She reminds me of you a bit.
…Is it bad that I wish you were here to tell me how creepy and weird I am? It used to make me mad a little but now I really miss it. Ah, I'll let you say whatever mean things you want next time I see you, mi corazón.
Anyway, just know that I'm taking steps to get you out of there. I'll find you.
Te amo siempre,
Antonio
PS: If this letter manages to reach you, please reply. I am starting to think this is impossible; this is the 13th such letter I've tried to send. But if I keep sending more, those jerks have to mess up sometime, right? Surely one letter will get through to you…?
Sample letter from a set of 12, each was found folded inside a carefully hollowed out Valencia orange, hidden amongst a shipment for a Vienna state mansion. The paper smells strongly of citrus, and the ink is slightly smudged.
Carísimo Lovino,
¿Cómo estás? Finalmente, yo puedo decir que estoy bien, más o menos. I have a new prime minister and he seems to understand what I need. I had forgotten how it felt to be this healthy—I'd been feeling down for so long that I hadn't even noticed any more, haha!
I think I might feel better if I weren't missing you so badly… I've been so busy staring out the window towards Vienna that I'd nearly forgotten the tomato garden out back. The tomatoes! I know! It's almost blasphemy! I promise to do penance for it when you get back though. You'll have to think of some kind of unthinkable punishment to inflict on me for my crimes against the poor tomatoes.
Te amo más que puedo decir.
Antonio
PS: If this letter, or any of the other somehow get to you, I hope you will write back. I'm starting to wonder if maybe the letters are arriving after all and you don't want to write me back…. If that is the case, please tell me and I will leave you alone. All you have to do is say the word and I will leave you be. Even if it might kill me a little.
Letter found wrinkled and rather dog-eared in the pocket of one drunk, albino Prussian en route to a state mansion in Austria. The unwitting courier had no memories of being given the letter, and maintains that his sherry must have been spiked with something else. The paper carries the faint scent of rum.
Carísimo Lovino,
You didn't answer my last twelve notes, so I'm going to assume that you don't want me to stop writing. Which is good. But that means that you either haven't gotten any of my letters at all, or something has happened to you…
Or you're just laughing at me and imagining me worry and enjoying putting me through all of this, right? Haha~ very funny, love. I'm sure that must be it.
Well, even if you're toying with me, you may as well know I'm doing everything I can to bring you home. We're rebuilding the armada again. I can't put any specifics, but I can tell you that this war isn't over yet, Lovi. It won't be over until I have you back.
Sinceramente,
Tu Antonio
PS: Te Amo.
Scrapped note taken from a desk drawer at an inn in Vigo. It appears to have been balled up at some point, and the ink is smeared in several places.
Carísimo Lovino,
¿Cómo Estás? I miss you. I don't know what to do without you. I'm too used to having you around to keep me from going completely insane, I think. But I'm sure you're probably fine. You don't really need me that much, do you? You never seemed to.
And if I ever actually sent this letter, you'd probably hate me for being so pathetic, ¿no?
The rest of this document is too crinkled to read.
Strange correspondence found by an Austrian foreign minister in a waste bin at the palace in Madrid.
Carísimo Lovino,
¿Cómo Estás? Life over here is not so bad, even though I miss you so much that it hurts. I know things sound bad, what with everyone deciding to ally against me—even France! Can you believe that? Haha, yes I'm sure you could. You like to warn me about Francis, ¿no? Maybe I should listen sometime. Still, I'm sure I can handle it. If it's for you, I think I could handle anything, Lovi.
You'd probably hit me for that last sentence if you could, wouldn't you… I should probably just start over now. I'd rather you not hate me for my inanity by the time I finally get you back!
Why am I writing this? It's probably going to be destroyed before it reaches you anyway…..
The page ends in a series of strange scribbles and half-doodles thought at one time to be some kind of secret code. It was later revealed to be a sketch of an axe hewing down men of several different and distinct European nationalities.
Letter used as packing for the transport of a few Mallorcan pearls en route to Vienna
Carísimo Lovino
¿Cómo Estás? I'm doing well. The new ships are looking lovely and all Europe is poised to jump at my throat, so of course I'm having the time of my life. The only thing I'm missing is you, my dear~
I know I haven't written to you much lately. I should have. Maybe this is never going to get to you, but hey, that's half the fun of it. Besides, you'd never forgive me if I stop, right? Since you undoubtedly miss me so much. (Haha, you look so cute when you blush, mi corazón.)
Or maybe I'm just fooling myself and you really don't care one way or the other. If that's the case, then I'm sorry, but these silly notes are going to keep coming until you're back where you belong. You should probably just figure out a way to sabotage your bespectacled captor and run here as quickly as possible just so you can make the letters stop, haha!
In any case, whether you free yourself or no, I'll be coming to get you soon. My plans are almost ready to spring.
Te amo tanto que me duele,
Antonio
Letter taken after the end of the War of the Quadruple Alliance from the desk of one Prime Minister Alberoni. It was left crumpled and forgotten amidst a pile of state papers.
Carísimo Lovino,
¿Cómo Estás? I mean it every single time I ask, you know. I wish so much that you could tell me the answer. I need to know how you are. You get into so much trouble and now I can't be there to get you out of it. There's nothing I can do; no way of knowing how you are except to hope and to pray. I pray every night, that maybe I'd be able to hear your answer. I'll keep repeating "Cómo Estás" into the dark like a man possessed, just begging to hear you say, just once, "Bien."
Well, that's not right. If it's you, you'd never answer anyway. You'd probably hit me for speaking Spanish, and storm away until you got hungry. Dear god, what part of my soul wouldn't I give just to see that?
Good thing I'm not sending this letter. You'd never come back if you read it, haha! Debo parecer bastante loco, ¿no?
Letter sent in the regular fashion to a state mansion in Vienna. The ink is rather dark in places, and blotted as though the author wrote with an unusually tight grip.
Caro Bastardo,
It has recently come to my attention that you idiots decided to just… give Romano to the Holy Roman Empire. If you think this decision will stop me in any way, you are sadly mistaken.
It doesn't matter where you put him. Where you hide him. How you try to keep him from me. What treaties you make. None of it matters at all. I'll cut my way through all of Europe if I have to, and damn the consequences. You seem to care about things like the balance of power and the world economy and whatnot. Let me make it perfectly clear; I don't. I'll burn everything in my path, and kill all who oppose me, country or man.
Guess you took more of me than you thought when you ripped Romano away. Did you know that he's the source of my sanity? Probably holds all the morality and the ethics too. I've never really paid attention to that sort of thing.
Honestly, you should just make it easier on yourself and hand him over. Because if you don't, consider this my abrogation of our little ceasefire. I will see you before the year ends, Roderich. And with any luck, I'll see you run through with Toledo steel.
Thoughtfully yours,
Antonio Fernández Carriedo
Letter delivered to the palace in Madrid by and Austrian Foreign minister.
Spain,
If I had any questions as to the state of your sanity, you have just answered them. Thank you for that. It's good to know that you have completely lost your mind. I won't feel so horribly about it when I manage to kill you. Like putting down a mad dog—I suppose it's somewhat my responsibility now.
Interesting that you found out about our idea for Romano. I suppose this means I'll have to go on a spy hunt again, but it's just as likely that that idiot Gilbert let it slip on one of your mutual drinking binges.
Please go die,
Austria
PS: Please resume your feeble attempts to converse with Romano; it's been a cold winter and I'm running low on tinder. I always appreciate the free paper. It seems taking away your morality didn't interfere with your generosity, in any case.
Return note disposed of by Austrian Foreign minister due to vulgar language.
Caro Puta de mierda,
¡Me cago en la madre que te parió! Yo te mataré. Better watch your back.
Sinceramente,
Antonio Fernández Carriedo
Note found in the pocket of one albino Prussian.
Gilbert-
I'm writing this down because, from the looks of things, you're going to be too drunk to remember anything in the morning. You should drink some water for that hangover, by the way. There's a fresh-drawn pitcher on the table.
Anyway, thank you for getting that letter to Lovi~ …do you think it would, kind of, maybe, a little, be possible to send another?
Or if not, you could just tell him I miss him? Or something? You see him every once in a while, right? You see that Austria often enough, so you must—
Right. Anyway, I'll give you today to figure out your answer. If you're still here when I get back from the Prime Minister's mansion, we'll hit up the palace cook for dinner.
Hopefully,
Your friend Antonio
Letter attached to the above. Written at the header in bright red ink are the words, "THERE IS NOTHING SEDITIOUS ABOUT THIS LETTER."
Carísimo Lovino,
¿Cómo estás? I hope you are still doing well. I heard about Austria's little bid to have you hidden away. I'm glad to know it didn't work, but even if it had, it wouldn't have mattered. I'd come get you no matter what
Gilbert mentioned that Feli has been quite ill. Is it something he caught from the humans, or is his fight with the Turks going more poorly than I thought? Poor cute little Feli! Tell him to get better soon for me. Still, if it's something human, make sure you don't get too close. I know you'll be worried about your brother, but I wouldn't want you to get sick when I can't be there to take care of you, mi corazón. (You're blushing right now, and I'd just like to tell you, that you look completely adorable that way.)
In other news, I am almost ready to make my move. I will be coming for you very soon.
Muchísimo amor,
Tu Antonio
PS: I don't expect a reply, really. Gilbert wouldn't take letters back and forth because he maintains that he is not a courier service. But I do request that when I finally see you again, you must tell me absolutely everything that happened while we were apart. I don't like missing so much of your life. Even a day without you is too much.
PPS: Te amo.
Short scrip delivered by a confused, but polite and discreet Prussian spy.
Awesome friend,
Sorry man. The Moled Wonder caught me.
In my defense, I did warn you that it wasn't going to work.
-Awesome Me.
Letter found in the possession of one rather flustered Spanish foreign minister to Vienna shortly after his dismissal from that city.
Persistent buffoon,
I'd like to ask you not to use Prussia as your personal espionage network, although I don't know why I should have to. I'm surprised you even made the attempt. You of all people should not just how inconspicuous he isn't. However, I suppose I must thank you for reminding me just how incompetent and foolish my (supposed) allies are. I should have known better than to let that idiot anywhere near my house anyway.
Your penmanship antics have been amusing, and have made for great comedic reading material, but this has to stop. I've found no less than several thousand "hidden" letters in the last three years, and while they are useful during the winter, it is currently spring and I am running out of servants due to investigations of sedition and treason. (I do admit to being curious; just how did you manage to hide a letter in my morning tea anyhow?)
By the way, before sending your foreign minister away (Something you should have done after your little declaration of war, just so you're aware. I know you have trouble with things as trivial as "diplomacy.") I took the liberty of asking him what "me cago in la madre que te parió" means. He would not answer me, so I have to assume that it is entirely too vulgar in nature to be repeated. I could come up with something worse, I'm sure, but I'm not feeling childish enough to sink to your level just yet.
Glad to know that your invasion is coming up soon; I'll be prepared.
Wishing you a violent end,
Austria
PS: If you really must know… Romano and Feliciano are both fine.
Letter discovered stashed between the pages of a Spanish ship-of-the-line's Captain's log.
Carísimo Lovino,
I know you've missed my letters but I can't write long. I'm on a ship just offshore of Sardinia as I write now, working by the oil of a lamp that's running low. Tomorrow we storm the beach, and I think despite my warnings and threats, Austria expects nothing. The fool.
Right, not much time so I'll be quick. I'm sorry I am invading from Sardinia first. I know how much you hate fighting, and it pains me to start a war on your land. However, this was truly the only plan I could think of that didn't involve failure or killing poor Feli, and all joking aside, I know you wouldn't be able to function without your baby brother. (Don't worry, I promise not to tell anyone you actually care about him. Haha.) I'm going to take Sardinia, and then I'll take Sicily, then Naples. And when I have you securely in my arms again, I'll go for that bastard Austria's throat.
I'll kill him for taking you. I swear that I will.
Seems to be a little oil left so I guess I'll tell you about the battle—the Queen arranged a lot of it. She's very smart, and very stubborn. Did you know she even plans to head one of the platoons herself? And her with babies to take care of! I don't know how she does it.
…Did I mention that she reminds me of you? (Haha. Please don't hit me next time you see me.)
Te Amo casi demasiado,
Antonio
Translation notes: (wow, I forgot them again. haha)
(these are mostly endearments... -_-;; Antonio's a romantic.)
Carísimo- Dearest
¿Cómo estás?- How are you?
Te Amo. - I love you
Te amo siempre.- I love you always
Finalmente, yo puedo decir que estoy bien, más o menos.- Finally, I can say that I'm fine, more or less.
Te amo más que puedo decir.- I love you more than I can say.
Te amo tanto que me duele- I love you so much that it hurts.
Debo parecer bastante loco, ¿no?- I must seem pretty crazy, huh?
Caro Puta de mierda,- Dear Son-of-a-bitch,
¡Me cago en la madre que te parió! - Literally, this phrase means: "I shit on the mother that bore you!" but it's basically just one of the biggest insults that a Spaniard his in his repetoir. I told you Spanish curses were weird.
Yo te mataré- I'm going to kill you.
Muchísimo amor- The most love
Te Amo casi demasiado,- I love you almost too much