Author's Note: This is my very first fanfiction. Although I have been writing for many years now, I wasn't a big fan of showing my work to others but I was so inspired by one story that I read here that I just had to write this poem and post it here. Hope you guys like it! I think it would also be better if you read the story that inspired this poem to understand this better. This is in Sam's POV.
Warnings: This is a sad one! Mentions of unrequited wincest and character death.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters (They belong to Eric Kripke) nor the story "Thank you for loving me" (belongs to the most awesome Waiting to be broken) Only this poem is my property. What can I say? I am rich with words but a peasant for inspiration, which Supernatural and other authors unknowingly give me.
Green Face
To the author of "Thank You for Not Loving Me", the most beautiful story I have ever read, thank you.
I know that I'm out of place
Just by looking at your green face
Full of rage and disgust
Against my fear and slowly fading trust
You tell me to go and leave
There wasn't even time to grieve
Did it rain in your home that night?
Or did the windows thrash with spite?
I could begin to say
Some old romantic cliché
But I know none of that matters
As my whole world crumbles and shatters
And while you try to forget me tonight,
I'll find a way to make things right
I know you won't like what I'm about to do
But it's the only way I'll be free of you
So let me do this,
Just one more time, please…
Let me dream of holding you as you lay there,
Maybe even pretend that you care?
Why would you hold back anymore?
Just close your eyes and hold on
Hold on to this feeling and moment
Before you know, it might slip away
Let me kiss you goodnight
For tomorrow you just might
Say you're too old for that
And I won't be able to hold back
Give it one more chance
Just smile, let it reach your eyes…
Let it spark your beautiful face...
Let me pull you into an embrace
Ensconced, let's stay like this
Before long it's something we'll miss
And you tell me you love me
And nothing in the world could change that, but see
Time is fleeting fast
It's running, away from our hands
And you might just compromise
The words empty now before long
So settle in and let it linger
Even just a little while longer
That's all we could ever ask for, isn't it?
Cause life is a thief of the memories
We thought we'd always cherish
But now words knock on empty doors
So hollow it's deafening
So sad it's almost heart-wrenching
Should you come back,
Will you lift me up the ground?
Carry me to the carousel, the highest room
In the tallest tower
Then I'll ask again if you love me
But you won't tell me, because I already know
That this is nothing but a dream
Your heart is farther away it seems
Yes, I would no longer see your eyes
The most beautiful I have ever seen
Never see your lips when you smile
Never look back on what we could've been
Thank you for not loving me
It makes the pain go away easily
It's hard to keep trying
To stop my heart from breaking
And every single time it does,
It is ten-fold stronger that the last
The pain makes me human
Makes me feel when everything else is numb
You tell me to stop where I was at
And you were wrong to say that
The love I feel for you is wrong
And in my arms is where you belong
But the cut is final and the blood will flow
Life was fun but not without you though
Many years I've tried to hide
Pretending you weren't the reason why I always cried
You try to kiss my life back
But we both know you won't be able to
You say you're sorry and you'll take it all back
And finally said how much you love me too
You held me close to your arms
As you feel warmth slip away from me
This is where I always wanted to be
Wish I could stay a bit longer
But it's a bit too late now
But before I leave, say this vow:
Don't hold yourself for this
It wasn't your fault I had to love you like this
Too much love for a very little heart
But you never read up to that part
The novel of my life ended before due
Because you were scared that it would be about you
But it always has been
Everything that I have heard, felt and seen
You were my world and everything else of me
Always was, and always will be…
-FIN-