Author Notice: I changed my penname! Femme4prime is now Femme4jack so I can have the same name on both livejournal and here. Don't worry, it is still the same Femme with her dirty mind and love of crack. Also, stories being written with co-author Gatekat are now only being posted under her pen name, or under the sockets pen name for the Dathana de Gray fanverse. Also, Gatekat and I have a bi-monthly feedback contest. For details, please see anhrefn-hyfryd . livejournal . com / 12639 . html (remove spaces)
Ff . net does not let me do strikeouts (blarg). They are now notated as (strike)
Fandom: Transformers G1
Author: femme4jack on LJ
Rating: PG-13
Codes: Crackfic, canon timeline fail, insinuates sticky
Summary: A day in the life of Ravage
Notes: Written for April Crimson Optics Commentfic Challenge (community . livejournal . com / crimson_optics / 616.58 . html)
Ravage's Personal Log
Note: FF . net does not allow my strikeouts, so they are now notated as (strike).
0530 Recharge canceled prematurely due to low fuel warning. Why are we using these squishies' diurnal time units, anyhow? It is almost as bad as the others using their pathetic excuse for a language. The only fleshy sound anyone will hear from me is the snarl before I rip off something they will dearly miss and (strike) the purr that Boss likes and my Lord Megatron mentioned he enjoys.(/strike)
0531 Licked boss's mask until he provided me with my morning bowl of energon. Why was it a good idea not to have opposable thumbs again?
0600 If you even think about trying to pet me, Air Commander, you will find yourself without a servo faster than you can say "retreat".
0630 No, I do not find curling up on my Lord Megatron's lap and purring for him humiliating. I do, however, find you to be humiliating - to our entire faction, planet, and the multiverse at large.
0700 Do NOT look at me that way. If you could reach it with your glossa, you would, too.
0800 Being sent on a mission with the boss (strike)cuddled safely in my dock(/strike) in cassette-form for ease of transport. If I am not permitted to disembowel that squishy youngling this time, I cannot make any guarantees about anyone's safety during recharge tonight. What is the point of 20 inch claws if I never get to use them?
0900 Yes, because my Lord Megatron won't ever suspect a thing if you purposefully let me overhear information about a rocket fuel depository and then allow my escape. How is it that any of you still function? You are all about as intelligent as the glitchlice on Unicron's exhaust port.
1100 Was bored and watched cartoons with Rumble and Frenzy. Pretended that Tom was Steeljaw and Jerry was a glitchmouse and found it marginally more enjoyable.
1200 Will. Not. Yowl. Will. Not. Yowl. Slag.
1201 If your glossa could reach that far, you would do it, too, so don't give me that dumb-aft look, Seeker. At least I clean myself up.
1300 Received permission from boss to clone Saber-tooth tiger DNA obtained in the Arctic.
1500 Kittens really are (strike)adorable and cuddly(/strike) a lot of work. Therefore, have obtained from boss permission to capture squishy to change the litter box. Would prefer the one on wheels because I plan to feed the other one to Tigger.
1800 Took Tigger to downtown Vegas so he could feed. Bouncy bouncy bouncy squish *snickers*.
1900 Have succeeded in capturing fleshbags for litter box duties and other relevant slave labor. Uncertain as to the significance of Siegfried & Roy to squishy culture, but they do seem competent enough.
2000 Will. Not. Yowl. Will. Not. Yowl. SLAG IT.
2001 You, sir, are simply jealous of my flexibility and the exceptional length of my glossa.
2100 (strike)Asked boss for a bedtime story.(/strike) Participated in end of cycle Cassetticon debriefing.
2130 I don't care if my purring is keeping you from recharging, Lazerbrain. The boss likes it and that is all that matters.