Title: When in Rome
Author: Saberivojo
Characters: Teen!Dean, Teen!Sam and John
Genre: Gen, PG13ish – adult concepts.
Summary: The first time Dean is arrested. You know, sometimes you have no idea what is really against the law.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Just like playing with the boys.

"Hey, Dad." Dean sounded wary, chagrined and a little pissed. "I think I might need you to come and get me."

John knew it was going to happen. The odds were against him.

Dean didn't always play well with others and John was instrumental in teaching him that.

Grave desecration was something that the local PD frowned upon.

Dean using his ID to prove the 17 year old was 21, and drinking? John didn't really approve but he was sure it happened.

Packing a handgun was a felony in most states.

Then there was the stealing, the lying and the inevitable fistfights.

Oh no, John knew it would happen some time, despite John's personal threats to Dean's overall health and the absolute certainty that this particular phone call would cause Dean a world of hurt in more ways than one.

But the kid was good at covering tracks and good at working a scam and better at getting his sorry ass out of trouble, so even though he knew it would happen, it shocked him just the same, and then to find out what he was in for? Well, that took the cake.

"You got arrested for WHAT?" John wasn't sure if he heard Dean correctly or if he did, but either way he figured he needed to hear it again.

"A blow job, Dad. I'm in jail for getting a blow job." Dean was talking low. So low that John still wasn't quite sure he heard him.

John glanced furtively at Sam, who had decided that whatever his brother was in jail for was a hellava lot more fun than Hamlet.

"You are in jail for a blow job?" John tried for quiet, but something like that never comes out quiet. It just can't.

John turned his back to Sam. As if Sam had not heard his last bit of the conversation, and as if it gave him the privacy to finish the phone call.

"Where are you Dean? " John grabbed a pencil and scribbled down the address to the police station.

John grabbed his jacket, gestured roughly for Sam to follow and headed out the door.

Sam wisely chose not to ask anything about the bits of conversation he overheard.

John walked into Kellyville, Oklahoma's lone police station with as much calmness as he had to offer. Grant you, it was not a lot, but that was neither here nor there. Sam trotted obediently behind.

"I'm here to see m'boy." John growled and glanced at the officer behind the desk, peered intently at the man's chest. "Deputy Harlan."

"Ah, Mr. Winchester, I take it. You should teach your boy a little more discretion."

"What I need to teach or not teach my son is my business. Now how about you show me where he is?"

The deputy sighed deeply and pushed back his rolling chair. "You do know that sexual acts of an oral nature are prohibited here. This is a God fearin' town and we don't hold with inappropriate fornication."

"So what's the charge, deputy? Public nudity? Being horny? Where did you catch him doing this inappropriate sexual act, back alley? Bathroom?"

"The charge is sexual deviation with a minor. Oral gratification in the fine state of Oklahoma is against the law."

Deputy Harlan placed his cover on his head, stood and crooked a finger in John's direction.

" You do realize that if your boy was of age, he'd be facing up to a year in jail and or $2500 fine?"

"For a blow job?" John couldn't help it, deputy or no, not even with a thirteen-year-old trailing behind who was all ears. He was on his way to an Oklahoma jail cell to pick up his seventeen-year old son. For getting head.

The deputy smiled, kind of slow and easy. A bit like the way he talked.

"Yup. And we picked your boy up at the girl's house. The neighbors figured a boy should' na been in there without parental consent so we checked on it. Front door was open and there was moanin' and such goin' on in the living room. We had to check it out, you understand?"

John was at the holding cell by now, Sam a step or two behind him and Deputy Harlan just to his right.

Dean sat on the bunk, head in his hands, shoulders slumped. He slowly lifted his eyes to his father.

John could tell that Deputy Harlan was barely controlling the snicker. The deputy didn't laugh although he looked like it was taking some effort.

"Young Mr. Winchester there had his drawers around his legs and Shannon Kelly was lickin' it like a lollipop."

John sputtered then. It couldn't be helped.

"Hey, Dad." Soft and low. John almost didn't hear it. Dean blushed furiously, freckles standing out sharply.

"Since your boy has no priors, and since the other young person's family is very well thought of, the Sheriff decided to let this go. Just this once." Deputy Harlan reached over and unlocked the cell. Dean skirted out, doing his best to avoid his father's hand, but John caught the boy before he moved out of reach and firmly squeezed his hand around Dean's shoulders.

Deputy Harlan handed a brown package to John. "Here's your boy's personal items. You can sign for them at the desk. Luckily the knife was just within legal limits." John squeezed a bit harder. He wanted Dean to know in no uncertain terms that this was not a gentle squeeze of reassurance. Dean flinched but offered no resistance.

John frog-walked the boy to the desk, signed for his release and only then dropped his hand from Dean's shoulders. But he pointed at his right side and Dean moved in closer, not daring to take a step out of his father's space.

"Thank the officer, Dean."

Dean arched a brow at his father.

"Now."

"Thank you, Deputy Harlan. For arresting me during my illegal sex act." Dean added under his breath.

John did smack him then. A solid thump to the back of his head. Dean took it without a rub.

"Sorry." John wasn't sure if the sorry was for him or Harlan but he let it go.

They left the station as soon as the paperwork was done. John shoved Dean toward the car's back seat.

"Consider the back seat part of your punishment."

Sam smiled jumped into shotgun as his father started her up.

"Dad, c'mon. I mean how was I to know it was against the law to… ya know, have some one suck you off. I mean, what is this Sodom and Gomorrah?"

Sam jumped in still grinning from ear to ear. "I think Sodom and Gomorrah was pretty much pro-blow job, Dean."

John took in a deep breath. Counted mentally to ten before Sam joined in the conversation again.

Sam turned, smiled gleefully at Dean. "Well, this is the South, Dean and Oklahoma is part of the Bible belt."

It seemed like Dean was ignoring Sammy. John wanted to ignore them both.

"But Dad, there was a girl too, why wasn't she in jail with me? She was the one doin' it." There was sanctimonious anger in Dean's voice and Dean didn't do that very often.

John threw a quick glance in Dean's direction. "What's the name of this town?"

"Kellyville."

"And the name of the girl?"

"Shannon Kel-Kelly."

John growled low, put a little extra rumble just to make a point. "So smart-ass, next time you decide you want to get down and dirty with someone, make sure her family doesn't own the town."

Sam's laughter was cut short by another slap only this one to Sam's head. Not as hard maybe, but it got the point across.

It was gonna be a long ride to Pennsylvania.

"Hey Dad? " Sam chirped. "I wonder how the Amish feel about blow jobs?"

Author's Note: According to my research, oral sex is really against the law in Oklahoma. And quite a few other states too. Study up on your archaic laws if you plan on traveling down south. To all my southern peeps - I love you, please don't think I don't. I live just below the Mason-Dixon line so...