A/N: So I know I've been saying for the past 2 years that I was taking a break from fanfics, but that doesn't look like that's going to happen. Anyway, this idea kept poking my brain at work last week, so here's a quick one-shot for your enjoyment.

Breaking, Entering, and Grand Theft

By: Thundergryphon

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Prowl/Jazz

Warnings: language, attempts at seduction, and mentions of a sexy picture

Archive: Here – Thundergryphon Y!Gallery – ChaosToGlory

Prowl glared in annoyance at the smiling mech sitting across from him. The black and white mech had been harassing Prowl for the entire evening and the Second was getting annoyed at his lover.

"Jazz, is there something you needed?" Prowl asked, looking up from his data pad.

"Just you, Prowler," the Saboteur grinned.

"Jazz," replied Prowl with a sigh," I've explained this to you several times. I am busy. In fact, I am very busy. I'm sorry I haven't been able to spend time with you recently, but this work needs to get done."

"But Prowlllll," he whined, "we haven't 'faced in over three weeks. I miss ya."

"And I miss you too, Jazz," replied Prowl, resisting the urge to strangle the other mech. "But in case you've forgotten, we're in a war. Some things take priority over personal indulgences."

# # #

Instead of being offended by Prowl's rejection, Jazz just smiled. He reached across the desk to grab Prowl's hand and began to gently rubbing it.

"How 'bout a quick one?" asked Jazz. "We can do it here, so you won't have ta leave."

Prowl slid his face into his palm. Sometimes he really questioned his state of mind when he had let Jazz into his life.

"Jazz," he replied slowly to make sure his lover understood what he was saying, "you can't seriously be suggesting we interface on the floor of my office? There at least 6 rules we would be breaking, not to mention that I AM NOT INTERFACING ON THE FLOOR!"

Jazz chuckled. "Not on the floor, Prowl. Ya got a perfectly good desk here," he said, rubbing the top of it.

# # #

Prowl had to struggle to keep his processors from locking up. He had grown accustomed to Jazz's exotic and kinky nature, but this was a place where almost anyone could catch them. Plus there was the fact that they were officers and needed to set a good example.

"Jazz," warned Prowl.

"No no, it'll be fine. Look, there's plenty of room," smiled Jazz as he started to push the datapads out of the way.

"Jazz, stop this," demanded Prowl, trying to grab the datapads back from Jazz, but the Saboteur was too quick. Prowl glared at his now-empty desk.

"It'll be fine Prowl," grinned Jazz and he stood up and ran his hand across the desk. Seeing that Prowl was still glaring, Jazz swiftly hopped onto the desk, facing his lover. Grinning wickedly, he lay down his side with his arm propping up his head. He gently ran a hand down his side, trying to entice Prowl.

Prowl looked doubtful. "As pretty as you are, Jazz, I am not interfacing with you on my desk."

# # #

"Why not?" pouted Jazz, pretending to be upset.

"My desk isn't strong enough to hold both of us."

"Sure it is," insisted Jazz as he bounced up and down a couple of time. "See Prowlie, it'll be fine."

"Don't call me Prowlie," muttered Prowl.

He supposed he could give it a try. Jazz wasn't the only one who was suffering from lack of intimacy, and even a quick interface actually did sound appealing.

Jazz wiggled over to the edge while Prowl tentatively eyed up the desk. Slowly, he eased himself onto the desk, then moved to lay down next to Jazz. The Saboteur grinned and quickly moved to pull Prowl on top of him.

"Jazz, what-"

"Wait, did ya hear something?" asked Jazz quickly.

Prowl listened. He did hear something. It was kind of like a slow, creaking sound. The source of the sound suddenly dawned on him.

"Fraggit, Jazz!" he managed to shout right before the desk collapsed beneath them.

# # #

Jazz looked up sheepishly at Prowl. Prowl expression was unreadable, and that terrified Jazz. Without a word, Prowl pushed himself off Jazz and climbed over the broken remains of his desk.

Jazz slowly rolled off the wreckage and stood up.

"Prowl?"

The Second in Command slowly turned around to face his lover.

"Why, Jazz? Why do I listen to you and your stupid ideas?" said Prowl slowly as he strolled over to Jazz, bringing his optics to meet Jazz's visor.

"Sorry, Prowl," Jazz said, backing up slightly. "It just seemed like a great idea."

"Great idea? I HAVE NO DESK!"

# # #

"Calm down, Prowl. Look, I'm sorry. We'll just get ya another desk."

"And where, pray tell, are you going to get another desk? Again I remind you, we are at war. There aren't exactly spare desks lying around."

Jazz was silent for a moment.

"Don' cha worry, Prowl. I know a place where we can get you an extra desk. And a really nice one at that."

"And where is this "desk" at?"

Jazz grinned. "Do ya trust me, Prowl?"

*%*%*%*%*%

Prowl was beginning to regret his answer. He and Jazz had driven to the edge of the Autobot territory, then transformed and continued on foot. They had to take a zigzagging path to avoid the cameras and traps that Jazz insisted were there. Prowl did not like this. Taking a desk from another Autobot, while rude, was not risky. What was Jazz thinking?

After what seemed like hours they reached the back of the Decepticon base.

"Are you sure about this?" whispered Prowl.

"Don't worry, Blitzwing's on monitor duty," Jazz whispered back. Prowl had no idea what that had to do with anything, but he followed Jazz into a small opening hidden behind some bushes.

They were inside the Decepticon base.

# # #

"I've changed my mind," whispered Prowl. "I don't really need a new desk."

"Don't cha worry Prowl," said Jazz and he gently stroked his lover's back. "We'll be fine."

The pair continued in silence down a dark hall. Prowl was looking around nervously, but Jazz was acting like it was something he did every day. Prowl desperately wanted to ask where the slag they were going, but he was afraid of making any noise.

After several minutes they reached the end of the hallway, stopping in front a large, ornate door.

"Oh, Jazz, please don't tell me-"

"You guessed it," replied Jazz as effortless hacked into the key consul on the wall. The door slid open, revealing a large, dark room.

# # #

The Autobots cautiously stepped in. The room was empty. Jazz slid the door shut and found the light switch. The lights flickered on, revealing Prowl's worst nightmare. They were in Megatron's office.

The room was fairly sparse except for some shelves with datapad, a couple of chairs, and in the middle of the room was a large desk.

"You want to steal Megatron's desk?" exclaimed Prowl.

"'Course. You need a new one, and 'ol Megs needs to learn some humility. It's a win/win situation."

Prowl looked doubtful. "I don't think this is a good idea. We were lucky enough not to get caught sneaking in, but I think someone will notice if we're walking around the Decepticon carrying Megatron's desk!"

"I told ya, Blitzwing is on monitor duty. Besides, you deserve a nice desk like this. Let's just clean it out and haul it off."

# # #

"Jazz."

"No, no, it'll be okay." Jazz walked around the desk, taking a good look at it. "Here. We'll just get rid of this stuff."

He quickly knocked all the datapads on top of the desk onto the floor. Prowl winced at the noise.

"Megs'll have fun sorting them out," grinned Jazz as he started to open the drawers.

"Paranoid, isn't he?" the Saboteur asked rhetorically as he pulled out several guns from the tyrant's drawers.

"I guess if you're commanding an army of traitorous lunatics, you can't be too careful," replied Prowl as he slowly made his was over to Jazz.

# # #

Jazz continued to pull various objects from the drawers, mostly datapads.

"Ack! Oh Primus, why?" cried Jazz, horrified.

"What? What's wrong?" asked Prowl as he rushed over to his lover.

Silently, Jazz handed the datapad he had picked up to Prowl.

It was a picture of Starscream, but the Seeker was lying on his side in a seductive pose. His hand was placed between his legs, covering most of his exposed cable. Prowl dropped the pad, desperately trying to get the image out of his processors.

"Why would Megatron have something like this?" asked Prowl after he had regained coherent thought.

"I don't want to know," said Jazz, shaking his head. "I just wish I hadn't seen it."

"Maybe they're-"

"Don't even say it," growled Jazz.

# # #

The black and white mech continued to empty the desk in silence, with Prowl glancing nervously at the door. They'd made enough noise that he was sure someone had heard them. Luckily, no one came.

"All done," said Jazz, dropping the rest of Megatron's possessions in the pile on the floor. "Let's get a move on."

"Are you sure about this?" asked Prowl.

Jazz smiled and gave his lover a quick kiss. "I won't let anything happen to ya, Prowl."

The two lovers each grabbed a side of the desk and walked out the room.

# # #

The walked back through the Decepticon base was as uneventful as it was going in. Prowl wasn't sure if he should be concerned. It was possibly it was a trap, and they were all waiting for them at the end of the hall. But they didn't see a single Decepticon. Not soon enough, they reach the small hole where they had come in from.

It took a little bit of maneuvering, but they managed to get the desk through in one piece. The walked back to the Ark was long since they couldn't drive and had to carry the desk.

They made it back to base just as the sun was beginning to rise. Luckily very few bots were up at this hour so the two lovers were able to make it back to Prowl's office without being seen.

Prowl pushed the mess from his old desk over to the corner in the back while Jazz pushed the new desk into position. It was a bit larger than Prowls desk and looked a lot more sturdy.

# # #

Prowl actually had to admit he liked the desk. It even had some ancient designs carved in a border on the front of it. As he was putting away his datapads, Jazz came up behind him and wrapped his arms around Prowl.

"So Prowler, wanna try out the new desk?" Jazz ducked as Prowl took a swing at him.

%*%*%*%*%*%*

Blitzwing cowered as Megatron stood in front of him, glaring. The triple changer couldn't recall ever seeing his Lord this angry.

"My desk is missing, Blitzwing. You were on monitor duty. The security cameras clearly show those two Autobots frolicking through my base like they were going on a picnic. Why didn't you raise the alarm?"

"Please, sir. They weren't attacking. You said to raise the alarm if the Autobots were attacking."

Blitzwing found himself sailing through the air and crashing through the monitors.

# # #

Megatron wheeled around to face Starscream, who was trying to hide his snickering.

"Is something amusing you, Starscream?" growled the Decepticon leader.

"Oh no, Mighty Megatron. I was just lamenting on what a great loss this is for the Deception empire. In fact, I insist that you take my desk, as a token of my good will."

"You don't have a desk," snapped Megatron.

"Well now I bet you wish you had gotten me one," smirked the Seeker.

The look on Megatron's face was worth it, thought Starscream as he found himself thrown through the monitors next to Blitzwing.