Okay, so I decided to do my own commentary of My Immortalwhich is, in my opinion, the greatest or worst thing to come of fanfiction. It's so hilarious (whether deliberately or not) and it gives me a rough idea of what I should buy if I ever go gothic. Lots of lace, white foundation and leather clothes are popular choices. I listed it as a horror (I mean, have you even read this story?) and rated it M to save the little children. Anyway, here we go, and prepare to lose some braincells!

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) (I do get it, and, no, it really isn't funny) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) (Homophobe) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. (You really did not do a good job of it) U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX! (Urgh. Is this what teenagers are like nowadays?)

(This is how the goffiks break a page)

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way (Your parents obviously wanted you to be bullied, but I guess it just shows how "goffik you are") and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) (No shit, Sherlock! Oh, and "ebony" and "black" mean the same thing, so is your hair black black?) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back (You're being less "goffik" and more "emo" with these coloured streaks) and icy blue eyes like limpid tears (What the hell is "limpid tears"? *types in "limpid" to online dictionary* Hmm, it means transparent. And well done, tears are indeed clear. I'm surprised she knows what "limpid" means, actually) and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!) (Yeah, because you are very obviously a prep!). I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie (So you can fuck your relative? That, my friend – and I use that term loosely – is incest, and is actually illegal). I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white (And vampires have yellow crooked teeth?). I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England (Scotland) where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen) (We could've guessed). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) (Actually, I couldn't tell. I was coming to the conclusion that you're emo, with all this coloured hair streaks and love of vampires) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there (Ooh, do they deliver to the UK now? Because we don't have Hot Toppic, only shitty Blue Banana). For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots (The pink fishnets are so very gothic. Also, I don't give a tiny rat's ass what you're wearing). I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about (Snowing AND raining? Because snow isn't like frozen rain anyway?). A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them. (Phew, is this the end of the paragraph? It is?)

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy! (DUN DUN DUN!)

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly. (So OOC)

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away. (Good. Don't ever come back)

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz! (No. And you're attempted cutesie goffik talk isn't either)

So… chapter one. I was trying to be kinda funny, but got pissed off at Tara's mutilation of the English language. Don't forget to review!