Warnings: This is a threesome. Any whiners and haters leave now, or I won't be held responsible for how offended and digusted you might be.
Panoply ; Naruto - oneshot
In matters of the heart, nothing is true except the improbable.20 moments. [SasuSakuNaru]
1.
Every Friday night was all about Sakura sitting on the kitchen table with a warm tea mug cradled in her hands, swinging her legs back and forth, watching in amusement as Sasuke and Naruto stood side by side with their backs turned to her, chopping vegetables and meat and preparing sauce, Sasuke always keeping an eye on the recipe book, Naruto always humming a new tune every week. She would smile when Naruto started to knock his hip against Sasuke's with the sole purpose of annoying him; laugh when Naruto dipped his finger on the finished sauce and wiped it across Sasuke's cheek; and eventually separate them when the Uchiha finally snapped and put the blonde in a headlock, using his free hand to stuff an onion down his throat.
2.
There would be rainy days when Sakura was on break from the hospital and Naruto would postpone his paperwork for later in the evening where they both wandered around the house in comfortable clothing and uncombed hair, and at some point in the afternoon, Sakura would be comfortably situated on Naruto's lap as they both lounged in the spacious beige couch they had bought, silently watching watching television. It was expected to eventually hear the door opening with a soft click and wait a few moments for Sasuke to come into the living room, his uniform vest thrown carelessly to the nearest chair as he cautiously swung the plastic bag with their dinner and placed it on the counter right behind the other two; Naruto would then perform the usual habit of harassing Sasuke, by making kissy faces at the boy or catcalls and random pickup lines, continuing to test him until the onyx eyed boy would finally snap and launch himself at the blonde boy over the couch, tackling Sakura in the process.
"You're pulling my hair!"
"Ouch! Watch where that knee goes, Sakura!"
"Narufo, fake your foof ouf of my mouf!"
After several minutes of grunting, kicking, biting, outraged shouting and lots of struggling, Sasuke would be right beside Sakura on the space between the blonde man's legs, being held in place by Naruto's legs and the arm tightly locked around his torso.
He would continue to try and escape the Hokage's lap, but it eventually just took Naruto's good humoured laugh and Sakura's gentle hand on his elbow for the Uchiha to give up on his struggles and lean back, wrapping an arm around the pink haired girl's waist and continue to watch television in comfortable silence, ignoring the pitter patter occurring outside.
3.
They were folding the laundry.
Naruto would have also taken part of this chore, but a last minute meeting was taking place, and he had to dash off to the Hokage tower, which left her and Sasuke to do it, which wasn't necessarily bad, other than the fact that this was Sasuke, and it still took a lot to make the boy talk, and Sakura was beyond bored. Which was probably why she ended up flinging one of Naruto's boxers at the man's face, who in return used one of her thongs as a slingshot and snapped her on the forehead with it, which pretty soon turned into a full blown laundry war.
So when Naruto came home, late at night, to find the entire apartment littered with clothes, the walls filled with cracks and scorch marks, and the two asleep on the couch, with Sakura sprawled over Sasuke, both wearing what appeared to be his own underwear over their heads like a hat, he decided maybe it was best not to ask.
4.
There were perks in being heroes of your nation. That meant everyone knew who you were and everyone liked you. It was thanks to this fame and Sakura's ability to socialize that they scored a beautiful, spacious apartment with a view to the hokage mountains, for an incredibly cheap price; it was how Sasuke used his cunning and brains to find a small paint shop in Konoha run by a mid-aged woman and her teenage daughter, and got out of there with enough paint to cover their apartment and then some more with a 80% discount ("Teme, you shameless man-whore." "Suck it." "I already did." "...don't make me hurt you." "Oh, please do. I've been a very baaaad b-" "-NARUTO!").
Yes, everything was going perfectly, until they realized instead of buying a California King sized bed, Naruto had taken upon himself to buy them what could be a full sized bed at best. After hours of shouting, kicking, spitting, obliterated walls, hurled objects and the eventual restraining order, the threesome found themselves forced to sleep in the small bed, at least until Naruto remembered in which pair of identical orange pants did he put the receipt in, according to Sasuke. However, two years later, and they still slept in that same bed, that actually seemed perfectly sized once they had their legs tangled and their arms thrown around each other.
5.
Sasuke was, surprisingly, the one who enjoyed cuddling the most. These cuddle sessions did not include any cooing words or excessive hugging or anything of the sort, but he did turn out to be the one who enjoyed lying in bed all day with his arms around someone else the most, something that amused Sakura and Naruto greatly. It made sense in itself, that someone who had gone for so long without a loving gesture from anyone now could afford to relish it. Yes, Sasuke greatly enjoyed physical contact with his girlfriend and boyfriend, but there was no way in hell he was going to stand beside those two and brush his teeth in the same sink with them, which is why he opted to take care of his teeth in the kitchen sink.
He enjoyed physical contact as long as it didn't imply Sakura elbowing him in the ribs with enough force to rattle his teeth and Naruto headbutting him while trying to look for his toothbrush.
6.
If it was a sunny day where there was not much to do and the house was relatively clean, Sakura would make breakfast for her and her boys with the radio turned on into an upbeat tune, skipping across the kitchen and dancing as she went along, and if she was really into it, she'd start singing along with the song, not giving a care in the world even if she was wearing nothing but one of their old t-shirts and a pair of colorful socks.
Naruto and Sasuke, on the other hand, would watch from the bed in amusement and pretend they were still asleep when she turned towards the open door in their bedroom.
7.
The fact that every time Naruto ripped his clothes he either tried to glue them together or threw them in the trash, and Sakura just gave her clothes for her grandmother to fix made the two of them completely clueless in how to stitch (Sakura should have learned how to do a simple stitch as a medic-nin, but Tsunade just settled for teaching her how to connect torn flesh using her chakra) and frankly, the first time they tried they managed to make it even worse than it already was.
So Sasuke, being the only one capable of doing it ("And doing it beautifully, I must say, Teme." "I'll punt the shit out of you.") made him the designated tailor of the house, being tolerant to stitch everything, from Naruto's silly sleeping cap to Sakura's gloves- to her great relief, I mean, she no longer had to buy a new pair of gloves every week- .
8.
After a few months of living together, they all learned new things about each other, intriguing habits included. Naruto, out of the three of them, is the one that cares the most about his sleeping attire. Everyday, every season of every year, Naruto would always wear a blue pyjama set with his goofy sleeping cap, while Sakura sufficed with sleeping with an old T-shirt and a pair of socks, that she would kick off of her feet later in the night, sighing in pleasure as her toes wiggled in the soft texture of the sheets. And Sasuke, to Naruto and Sakura's great pleasure, slept with nothing but a pair of briefs, giving the two of them quite a show every morning as Sasuke looked for his T-shirt that the two of them has purposely hidden the night before.
9.
The truth was that at first they had not been Naruto and Sakura and Sasuke, they had been Naruto and Sakura and Sasuke and Sakura. She was the common ground, and they just shared her. There was never any discussion because she had always belonged to them, they always deserved her just as much. And so they indulged in each others company while seeking pleasure, and it was fine because it was all so simple.
And then Naruto started to notice how the muscles in Sasuke's back shifted oh so softly with every move that he made, and Sasuke noticed how strong Naruto's arms were when he used them to lift Sakura up effortlessly. Then came the subtle touches and lingering looks while the three of them were together, the legs tangling and the hands brushing against each other. Naruto, being who he was, started to freak out about it so much that he barely touched his ramen. It wasn't until two weeks later when in the middle of kissing and biting and fingers running over heated flesh that Sakura paused and gave Sasuke a meaningful look that Naruto realized maybe there was nothing to be worried about as Sasuke promptly went down on him with no hesitation whatsoever.
10.
It was quite obvious that Naruto and Sakura were the stranger ones in their relationship, and Sasuke was more than used to dealing with weird and random situations and scenarios when he came home. However, he didn't quite know what to make of it when he came home one summer Thursday to find the two of them with their back turned to the living room mirror side by side and with their pants tugged down enough to expose their behinds. At his arrival, they both turned to him unaffected by the hilarious expression of shock on his face, and instead, he only heard Naruto ask.
"Teme! Just in time. Help us out here, which one of us has the finest ass?"
11.
Every once in a while Sakura would fall asleep in her office, her face hidden somewhere under all the paperwork she had either signed or revised, and in her half-asleep daze she would vaguely register being picked up by strong familiar arms and two male voices chuckling and speaking to each other in hushed tones as she felt herself being transported throughout the house. Then as she heard the muffled sounds of their bedsheets being pulled down, she anticipated being lowered down into the mattress and being flanked by two warm bodies with a satisfied sigh, ready to fall back into a peaceful sleep.
12.
They tried to use a water mattress once. They had been discussing it and wondering about it for a long time, and since they had more than enough money to afford these small whims, what with Sasuke's inheritance, Naruto's Hokage paycheck and Sakura's more than hefty sum of money as well, one day Sasuke finally stopped on his way home from work and bought the damn thing. It's safe to say it was a waste of money, as the poor mattress only lasted two days thanks to a threesome of ninjas with the tendency of hiding sharp, pointy weapons under the bed, and of course, let's not forget Naruto's habit to pounce people in the morning.
13.
To Sasuke, the love he has for Sakura is the kind of love that aged quickly, faster than any love should. He never truly indulged in the stage of being in love with her, she was not in his head every minute of every day, haunting his every dream and thought, but she was there in his mind, lurking behind more important and grand thoughts, biding her time. When Sasuke realized he loved Sakura his love had matured into the kind where you don't need to say you love them, where the simple sense of companionship and the meaningful looks and gentle touches are more than enough.
He hates Naruto all the time, except when forgets that he does. Naruto represents all that irks him in a person. He's too loud, too stupid, too loving, too naive, too forgiving and too important to him. He will never truly understand how Naruto became so important to him, only that every time he had felt truly wretched and miserable, Naruto had always been there standing in the way of the sun, beaming at him and holding out his hand, no matter how many times Sasuke screwed up. Sasuke hates Naruto all the time, except when he loves him.
14.
Just like Sasuke's tailoring skills, none of them expected Naruto to be the best cook, while taking into consideration his unconditional love for instant ramen. Naruto's cuisine skills were discovered on Sakura's birthday, where he cooked one of the best damn curry they had ever tasted. Sasuke, who could cook decent meals that had the single purpose of eating healthy food, made excellent salads, and picked the best fruits and vegetables like no other. Sakura, on the other hand, was an awful cook, never knowing how much salt to put in her food, which either ended with her cooks too bland or something that one could barely take a bite off without having a heart attack. She was, therefore, left in charge with making cakes and other treats, that often turned out delicious.
15.
However bored Naruto and Sakura might be on their days off, there's really no excuse for what they were doing today. Why couldn't they be like any ordinary ninja, and take their free time to train or take a walk around the village, meet up with a few friends, blow up something in the name of their country, heck, anything. It's not his fault they didn't have to work today, some people do, and to keep annoying him like this is -
riing, riing
Wordlessly, Sasuke picked up the office phone.
"Hii honey, we miss you so, so much baby, we're feel so alone and aching without you, we're so hor-"
Click.
They really needed to get a hobby.
16.
It wasn't until during a mission to retrieve a stolen scroll from a few Sand missing-nins that they realized Sakura no longer needed to be protected when she wiped out 16 bandits in one go while she was alone in the woods in the middle of the night, more than two hours away from their camping site.
17.
The fact that Sasuke and Sakura had decided that the three of them were in a steady relationship three months before they bothered to tell this to Naruto - who they had expected to have understood already - the blonde boy was not as shocked and confused as he could have been, and instead, he just shook his head at them, leaned back and went with the flow.
A.N. Panoply means 'a complete set'. Hope you liked it!