"Idiot." Logan grumbled as he hung an ornament on a branch at eye level.

"Loser," Julian replied promptly, pulling a string of lights from the box. "Derek, be a darling and help with this."

Derek sat on the couch, feet propped up on the coffee table, face illuminated by the phone in his hands.

"I'm texting my girlfriend," he said.

"What, you can't hang a stupid string of lights on your own?" Logan taunted.

Julian held out one end of the rope in response. Logan took it. Together they started stringing it around the tree. Julian held it in place in the back, where the tree rests against the wall of Logan's living room. Logan brought it around, slinging it over branches up near the top. Derek was staring at the screen of his phone, so he didn't see when Logan handed the lights to Julian and their hands brushed. And Logan looked up at Julian, and Julian looked down at his feet.

Julian didn't move. He seemed to be deeply considering his life and the concept of death or something equally morbid.

"We're going to be here until 6 am if you don't get a move on," Logan said impatiently, glancing at the clock. "And my dad will be back around 2, if he doesn't stop for a drink on the way home, which he may very well, because his gay son has two boys staying for Christmas, even though neither of those two boys are gay." He rolled his eyes and took the lights from Julian, who had come to life and begun wrapping the lights around the tree again. "We have 3 hours to get this up and get out of sight."

"Calm down, Logan," Derek said from the couch. "What's the big deal? Pretty sure we can take him."

"That's not what I'm worried about," Logan replied, doing another round with the lights. This time he let his hand brush against Julian's on purpose. Julian started and grabbed his hand away.

"What the hell, man?" he asked. "I'm not gay." He set off around the tree with the lights, allowing Logan to stand behind the tree instead.

"I never said you were," Logan replied, taken aback. "So sensitive."

Julian sniffed. "As if either of you two, or anyone of your gender, would be of any interest to me."

Derek coughed from the couch. Julian rounded on him. "I think you're coming down with someone, you should get that checked out."

"Sorry," Derek choked out, and looked back down to his phone to suppress his laughs.

"I'm not an idiot, you two, what's going on?" Logan asked, hand on hip, eyebrow raised, from his place behind the tree.

Julian shot Derek a look of fire that Logan couldn't see.

"Nothing. How do you know it isn't a present or something? You can't call us out on something like that at Christmas," Julian said, striding calmly to where Logan was and pouting. "It's Christmas," he repeated.

Logan sighed. He gestured with the lights, and Julian did another round. He had made it to the bottom and still had a yard of lights left. He glanced around, and spotted Logan, staring miserably into the tree.

He rounded the tree from behind and reached through the branches with the lights. He set them on Logan's head, wrapping them around like a crown.

"You're beautiful, dahling, hold still," he drawled in a British accent, coming around the other side of the tree to see his work of art.

Logan, Christmas lights around his head, was pouting at Julian.

"Derek, plug these in, would you?" Julian asked, still in his British accent. He'd had to do one for a movie a few years before, and had never lost the talent.

Derek, grumbling, got up and plugged in the plug, which was hanging off of Logan. Logan still did not move.

"And the lights?" Julian said.

Derek hit the switch.

All that lit up the room was the string of multicolored lights around Logan's head and the Christmas tree.

Julian pulled out his iPhone, but Logan barked out a laugh.

"Never." He grabbed for the phone and Julian dodged it. The lights slid off Logan's head so they were hanging on his ear. He ignored them. He lunged again for the phone and again, Julian deftly slid out of the way.

"Just one little picture?" Julian asked, giving Logan the puppy dog face.

"No." Logan made another grab for the phone, but he was grinning. Derek was laughing, and Julian was trying very hard to keep a straight face.

Finally Logan tore the lights off his ear and made another, finally dive for the phone. Julian wasn't expecting this kind of force, so Logan's entire weight pushed him backward onto the floor. Logan was finally able to grab the phone out of a shocked Julian's hands, as he lay on top of him.

Logan did not move.

His face was inches from Julian's.

For some reason his heart was racing, and it wasn't because of the made quest for the phone.

It was this scene that Logan Wright Sr arrived home early to.

"What makes you think you can bring him in here and put on a little gay show in my living room?"

Logan's hands were folded in his lap and he did not appear to be listening. Julian was looking at the floor. Derek was staring at Logan's dad as though he'd never seen him before.

"And you."

Julian realized he was being addressed. His head jerked up and he met Mr. Wright's angry eyes. They were just like Logan's, with that fire in them. They weren't green, though. They were a dull gray color.

"This house, I thought I'd made it perfectly clear, is a no gay zone. If you do anything gay, you're out. Understand?"

Julian nodded. "I'm sorry, sir."

The attempt to sort out the misunderstanding had already been made, but to no avail. Logan's father's ears did not seem to be on.

"I thought you were a normal person. Logan didn't tell me you were a faggot."

At this, Logan's head flew upward and he stared straight into his father's eyes.

"Don't. Call. Him. That." His tone was low and Julian could tell he'd skipped his medication that morning. He braced himself for the fight that would surely come.

"What did you say?" his father asked, bending closer in mock confusion. "I couldn't hear you."

"I said, DON'T. CALL. HIM. THAT!" Logan shouted, standing up, fists clenched.

"And why shouldn't I? It's true, isn't it?"

"No, it is not true. Julian is the straightest boy I've ever met." Logan rounded the coffee table that separated himself and his father.

This time, Derek did not cough. He glanced at Julian, who ignored him.

"And why do you expect me to believe this?" his father asked calmly, watching his son's furious face with an expression of mild interest.

Julian looked at the clock and watched it tick slowly toward midnight, toward Christmas. Only ten minutes left.

"Because I told you so and you should believe what I tell you!" Logan exclaimed, his nostrils flaring, staring straight into his father's laughing eyes.

"You told me you were straight," his father said, his mouth curling into a sneer.

Logan's knuckles were turning white. Julian decided that the situation couldn't be hurt at this point, but something that wouldn't help would be for Logan to punch his father. He stood up and stepped around the coffee table.

"Logan," he whispered, taking Logan's hand and pulling at the fingers gently. Logan did not resist. "Calm down."

"Get out of my house," Logan Wright Sr snarled, his nose wrinkling as though he smelled something unpleasant.

"Excuse me?" Logan asked, jerking forward and out of Julian's grip around his arms.

"Get. Out. Of. My. House."

"You said we could stay for Christmas," Logan responded, his green eyes lit up with flames.

"And now I'm saying I will pay for your flight to his house." He jerked his head toward Julian, who had once again taken Logan's arms. "Or his." He motioned toward Derek, who looked away. "And you can do whatever the hell you want until summer, but I don't want to see your gay little face around here."

Logan lunged forward, but Julian held him back. Logan fought against Julian's grip, but Julian was too strong.

Logan's father strode out of the room, calling, "You have an hour to be gone," behind him. "Oh." He turned around. "And I didn't get you a present this year."

And he was gone.

Logan fell limp in Julian's arms. Now Julian had to hold him up to keep him from falling.

"Alright, where should we go?" Derek asked, standing up. "We could probably chill at my house if you want to."

Derek lived in Los Angeles.

"We can't go to my house, there would be paparazzi everywhere," Julian said, hoisting Logan back into a standing position.

There was an awkward silence during which Logan stared, eyes empty, at the Christmas tree.

"We'll catch a red-eye flight to Los Angeles, then," he said, his voice quiet. He turned and made his way to his room, running his hands through his blonde hair as he went. "I'll get packed."

Julian and Derek waited until they heard banging in Logan's room as he slammed drawers and threw things into his bag.

"Dude, I think you two had a moment there," Derek said, smirking as the two of them made their way down the hall to the guest bedrooms on either side of Logan's room.

"No duh," Julian shot back, and then slammed the door to his bedroom.

Derek sat between Julian and Logan on the flight to LA. There were a few other travelers scattered about the plane, but a 2 am flight on Christmas Day is not the most popular flight option out there.

Logan was conscious that he should say sorry, because his father had ruined Christmas Eve, and now they were going to have to sleep through Christmas Day. But he was more focused on the fact that he wanted to strangle his father. For what he'd said about Julian.

Logan was used to being called a faggot, but when it was used on Julian…

Julian was Logan's best friend, whether Logan liked him or not. And Logan did like him – in a weird way. In the "I hate you" kind of way.

Meanwhile, Julian was dissecting the look in Logan's eyes when he'd landed on top of him in the living room. And he hadn't moved. He'd just stared. What was it that had made him do that…?

Well, Julian was good-looking, Julian knew that. So it was only right that Logan notice for once. That was what had happened. Logan had been inches from a good-looking boy, and Logan had a weakness for that.

That was it.

Besides, Julian was supposedly straight as a stick. So even if Logan liked him, there was nothing that could ever come of it unless Julian was willing to confess. Which he wasn't, because he still hadn't fully accepted it himself, even after 3 years.

The plane began its ascent into the clouds, and Julian leaned his head back on the seat and closed his eyes. May as well get some sleep – he was going to be here awhile…

Logan was soon the only one awake, kept that way by the coffee he'd bought at the Starbucks in the airport. Derek and Julian had fallen asleep only moments into the flight. But Logan needed that. He needed alone time, time to think and sort out his thoughts. Like what the hell had gone down right before his dad had arrived…

He was fine one minute, absolutely, positively fine. Just normal, hanging out with Julian and Derek, decorating the Christmas tree…And then Julian was on the floor under him and Logan wanted to kiss him.

Logan had had short periods of time before where he'd had a wild, mad crush on Julian. But it had only lasted for a few hours at the most. The fact of it was, Logan just wasn't usually attracted to Julian in that way. Julian was one of his best friends. He was also gone most of the time. So Logan had never really allowed himself to like Julian because Julian was straight and an actor and would probably have a million blonde girls hanging off his arms the next time he returned. That was what Logan always told himself.

However…

Julian never did have a million blondes hanging off his arms.

And he hadn't actually had a girlfriend in the past few months. The last one had been Jenny, and he didn't really seem all that thrilled about her.

And he hadn't made any move to get Logan off of him, even after Logan's dad came in.

And—

But it was impossible.

Impossible.

Logan shook his head to clear it. He looked around the cabin. People were sleeping in their scattered seats. His eyelids began to droop…

He took another sip of his coffee. He shook himself, trying to get the energy to move around his body.

Okay, Logan, you're going crazy if you honestly think for even one second that Julian is gay. He's JULIAN.

And what difference does that make? Just because he's Julian doesn't automatically make him straight. If you were a celebrity, you wouldn't come out for the world. It'd be too much of a hassle and everyone would be all pissed, especially if you had thousands of girls who'd kill themselves if they found out you were gay.

Still. He would've told you and Derek.

But would he have?

Logan looked at Julian's sleeping form, slouched against the wall, face turned away from Logan. Logan saw his brown hair, shining from the dim lights in the cabin. Logan looked at his ears, and followed his jaw bone to his chin…

He was very, very good-looking. Logan had never really noticed before, except for a few odd times when he felt his heartbeat racing when Julian fixed him with a gaze…

But then Julian would open his mouth, and Logan would be torn between love for Julian and hatred.

"Hey," Derek said, startling Logan.

Logan jumped, almost spilling the coffee in his hands. He felt a blush seeping into his cheeks, because he'd been caught staring at Julian.

"Hey," Derek said again, and Logan looked at him. Derek was grinning knowingly. "You like him?"

"No," Logan said defensively. "Why would I?"

Derek just smiled. "Because maybe he's better for you than any of the others you've pursued relentlessly, making a mess of yourself and them each time."

"He's not right for me," Logan said, more to himself than to Derek.

"Why not?"

"He's not gay," Logan said, rolling his eyes, feeling the all-too-familiar beginnings of anger.

"Mmm," Derek said sympathetically, still with that knowing glint in his eye.

"And what the hell does it matter to you, anyway? You're too busy sleeping around with every other girl you lay eyes on to care about me or Jules, much less our love lives." Logan took another sip of his coffee and felt an adrenaline rush that wasn't associated with the caffeine.

"Who's always been there, every single time you've decided to be in love with some boy? And who hasn't?" Derek was staring at Logan now, as if waiting for Logan to make the connection.

However, Logan didn't understand what he was supposed to be connecting. "You. Okay? You've always been there, yelling at me and forcing me to take those stupid medications."

Logan was aware that he was being too loud, but he didn't care.

Meanwhile, he'd awoken Julian, who realized quickly that it might be beneficial to pretend to be asleep for this conversation and kept his eyes closed.

He listened as Derek said, "Yes, I've always been there. And without me what would have happened to you? You'd have gotten kicked out – and been forced to stay out – a long time ago. I wouldn't be dismissing me so quick if I were you."

"I don't even care!" came Logan's quick reply, and Julian could tell that Logan was moments from throwing Derek out of the plane. "You're always too busy thinking of yourself all the freaking time and playing around with girls and now you're suggesting to me that I love Julian? I can't freaking stand him!"

Julian's eyelids fluttered open, but he quickly closed them, waiting for more, calming himself. Logan didn't mean that. Julian knew he didn't. Logan always said that, but he was still around. And he'd invited Julian to his house in New York City for Christmas, hadn't he? Did that count for nothing?

"That's not true," Derek said quietly, his calm voice in contrast with Logan's quick, angry, too-loud one.

"It is, you know it is!"

Logan sounded hysterical rather than angry now, and Julian wouldn't be surprised if he started crying on the spot.

"Right," Derek replied shortly. "Well, if you don't mind, I think I'll use the restroom now…"

Julian heard Derek stand up and was careful to keep his body as still as possible in the silence that followed.

Logan's voice came again, much calmer, if not shaky. "If you expect me to believe you didn't wake up during that, you also expect me to forget the time in freshman year when you woke up because Derek was having violent sex with a girl two rooms away from yours and you heard it."

Julian felt a thrill that Logan remembered that, but suppressed it. He opened his eyes slowly. "That's what you thought," he said defensively, rubbing his face where it had been pressed against the wall. "I only told you that woke me up. I actually was up studying for a test but I didn't want you to know that I cared that deeply."

Logan made a harrumph sound in his throat.

"So you really can't stand me?" Julian asked, fixing his strongest gaze of inquisition on Logan.

"No, but can you stand me?" was the response. Logan wasn't looking at Julian.

"No."

"There."

"Well at least I wouldn't make a big spectacle out of it," Julian said, trying to keep the conversation away from the reason Logan had said that he couldn't stand Julian.

You're suggesting to me that I love Julian?

Julian's head echoed with Logan's angry voice, and he found that he couldn't look at Logan any more than Logan could look at Julian. So they became the two boys who were having a conversation but weren't looking at each other.

"And I wasn't, either, half the people on this freaking plane are asleep, it doesn't matter. Besides, it's not like I was confessing my love for you or anything." Logan's tone was becoming more angry now, and Julian heard him shifting restlessly in his seat.

"Like I'd want you to."

Logan didn't respond. There was nothing to say. Julian realized this and found a deep cloud of guilt settling on him. Like I'd want you to. That was either a very mean thing to say or a very stupid thing to say.

It was what those flaky characters he had to play in movies always said when they really didn't mean it.

Like I'd want you to.

"Excuse me?"

A girl voice. Julian turned in his seat, rearranging his features instantly. It was a normal reaction, what he always did when he heard nervous girls saying 'excuse me.' He knew what was coming next.

"Are you Julian Larson?"

She was standing in the aisle, a petite blonde with huge boobs and a wide smile on her face.

Julian glanced at Logan, who sat steaming in his seat, green eyes shining with fury.

"Yes," Julian replied calmly, smiling at her. Her nose was too straight, her eyes too big, too much makeup on… "Would you like an autograph?"

"Please," she said, sticking out her chest as he stood up and awkwardly leaned over Logan, who did not make any move that he noticed Julian was there, despite now having Julian's butt in his face.

She handed him a pen and a notebook. He flipped open to the last page and scrawled his name in loopy cursive.

"Thanks so much. Could I have a picture?" she asked, taking the notebook back.

"Sure." Julian stepped over Logan and out into the aisle. The girl held out her phone and snapped a picture as Julian smiled his dazzling Picture Smile and pretended he was completely straight and not in a fight with the boy he loved.

Logan pulled his suitcase along the moving walkway, his strides long, made even longer by the already-in-motion floor underneath his feet. Julian was behind him, his backpack digging into his shoulders. He was regretting packing so heavily for just two weeks off from school, but he had needs. He was a movie star for goodness' sake.

A movie star who was now in LAX airport. He was grateful it was nearly empty, or he'd be swamped with girls.

Being swamped with girls would not help the current situation.

Logan hadn't said a word to him, which was unusual because Logan never held a grudge for too long.

It was beginning to creep Julian out, the way Logan had ignored him the entire time as though he were not even there. Logan always stayed mad for about five minutes at a time, took out his anger on something innocent, and it was fine.

He'd never held a grudge, at least not as far as Julian could tell.

Well, okay, he'd held grudges against…Blaine, for instance.

But that was different.

Logan wasn't, had never been, and never would be in love with Julian.

He'd said so himself.

So it was different.

"JULIAN LARSON?"

It was loud and high-pitched and exactly what Julian had been dreading. The dead airport did not absorb the shout, and so his name bounced off the walls and ceiling, resounding into every crack in the entire place.

"And now there's another girl with her head up her ass, thinking Julian's the hottest thing since ever," Logan mumbled behind Julian.

"Shut up," Julian replied. "And you'll notice that no one's ever called your name quite like that. Maybe because you've always got your own head up your ass?"

"Ooh, pretty boy can't take a joke," Logan said, sneering.

Julian, looking in the direction of the scream so as not to seem rude, said, "Oh, like you could ever take a joke. At least I'm not forced to chase after boys who will never love me. You just can't tell because you've got your head up your ass."

A pretty, tall brunette was running up to them, her hair flowing out behind her, sunglasses on her face even though it was semi-dark in the airport.

"Julian?" she asked.

"Yes, that's – Anna?" Julian did a double take.

"OH MY GOD IT'S YOU!" the girl screamed. Julian was still on the moving walkway, so she walked along beside it to keep up.

Logan, however, kept walking, speeding by both of them in seconds. Derek, torn, stayed next to Julian, if only because he was interested in who this Anna was.

"It's been forever!" Julian exclaimed.

"I thought I'd never see you again – in real life." Anna was grinning wide, her perfect white teeth efflorescent.

"Me too! Oh, man. Elementary school – we went out in the fourth grade, right?" Julian was grinning back at her, seeming a little subdued but perhaps happy for this distraction from Logan.

The walkway ended, and Logan was waiting at the end. He kept checking his watch impatiently and rolling his eyes.

The moment Julian had stepped off the walkway, Anna had thrown her arms around him and kissed him.

Julian did not pull away, and the two kissed for what seemed an eternity to Derek and Logan, who looked everywhere but at Anna and Julian.

"Anna," Derek whispered. "They went out in elementary school." He rolled his eyes.

"I know who she is," Logan snapped. "It's not like I can't remember things people tell me."

The need to breathe soon pulled Julian and Anna apart, and Anna kept her arms around him.

"Wow. You've still got it," she said, still grinning.

"Yeah," he replied, inwardly freaking out. What should he do? He couldn't just kiss a girl like that and then tell her it meant nothing!

But it didn't. Not when Logan was standing beside him, looking royally pissed and as hot as ever.

And yes. Maybe Julian did find the kiss at least somewhat of a turn-on.

But he'd never go back down the Anna road. Anna had been the most obnoxious 10 year old he'd ever met, and he only went out with her because of a dare.

Judging from that scream and her sudden kiss, he could see that she hadn't changed a bit.

"Well, it was nice seeing you," he said lamely, giving a little wave and picking up his suitcase. He turned to go, telling Logan and Derek with his eyes that he needed to get the hell out of there.

"Wait."

Julian turned around slowly.

"You can't just kiss me and leave! Don't tell me you didn't feel a spark," she said, and he was almost completely positive someone had said that to him in a chick flick movie once.

"I did. Of course I did," he lied smoothly, hearing Derek's sniggers behind him. Logan, however, did not seem to find it funny.

"Then be with me!" she cried desperately. "Where are you going?"

"I'm actually on my way out of town," he said. "We're flying up to Alaska to his house." He gestured to Derek. "And our flight leaves in a half hour. We still have to check our baggage…" He ran a hand through his hair, closing his eyes. "I told you we should've allowed more time," he said, turning to Derek because he wasn't sure if Logan would play along when he was so angry.

"Well Alaska can wait! There will be other flights!" Anna exclaimed, her sunglasses reflecting Julian's face in them.

"Look. Anna. What happened. Fourth grade was a long time ago, and I'm sorry, but…I'm just in love with someone else." He sighed, not lying anymore, not faking.

"WHO?" she practically shouted.

"Shhh," Julian said, putting his finger to his lips as though he were talking to a 3 year old. "I don't feel comfortable with telling you. Excuse me." And he pushed past her, Derek and Logan right behind him.

He could feel her looking at him long after any sane person would have.

"That was interesting," he said, smiling at his friends as they fell into step next to him.

"It was mortifying," Logan grumbled. "Can't even control your stupid mouth when you're in public. And who the hell are you in love with?"

Julian didn't skip a beat. "Right. I'm in love with someone and you live in Alaska."

"You know, I never thought you were that great an actor…"

"Stuff it, you buy every movie I'm in and come to see it opening day."

"…so I can tell when you are and aren't lying. And I think you were telling the truth – scratch that, I know you were telling the truth. It explains why you haven't dated anyone in a long time." Logan was looking at Julian sideways as they strolled along, and Julian stared straight ahead, pretending to be concentrating on the signs leading them to the exit. He did not want to be having this conversation. And of course, he knew where the exit in LAX was. He was a movie star, for goodness' sakes.

"Spill it." Logan was still looking at him, Julian could feel the piercing stare boring holes in his cheek. "Is it that girl – oh, what was her name? Amelia? Or something? That blonde actress from-"

"I know who Amelia is," Julian snapped. "And no."

He realized a moment too late that he should have said yes, and come out with some sob story about how he'd loved her but it had been too hard to maintain a relationship and he'd never stopped loving her even in the year it had been since he'd set eyes on her and blah blah blah.

But he didn't want to say that, and it was too late anyway.

"Then who?" Logan prodded.

"Guys?" Derek interrupted, and Julian could have kissed him. "As cutesie as you two are, could we please stop for some food? I haven't had anything since that disgusting hamburger Logan tried to cook for dinner."

"Could we please not change the subject?" Logan shot at him.

"No, I need refueling! Let's just stop here…" Derek veered off into a nearby cafe with a tired-looking woman behind the counter.

Logan and Julian hung back for a moment during which Julian finally looked at Logan. What he saw was odd – Logan looked very intent and angry, but also had something else that Julian wouldn't let himself believe was love.

"After you," Julian said, mock bowing and stepping aside.

Logan tugged his suitcase behind him into the restaurant, shoulders slumped, sighing.

"HellohowcanIhelpyou?" the woman asked, suppressing a yawn.

"I'd like a chocolate chip muffin, a mocha latte, and a breakfast burrito," Derek said, then stepped to the right so Logan could order.

"I'll just take a espresso," Logan said, tossing his empty coffee cup from the flight into the trash can by the counter.

"And you?" the woman asked, looking at Julian, who prayed she wouldn't recognize him.

However, this was Los Angeles, and the woman said, "Aren't you…?"

"Yes," Julian snapped. "Cappuccino. And another breakfast burrito."

He turned around and made his way to one of the two small tables by the window. He sat down, shrugging off his backpack and hanging it on the back of the seat. A moment later Derek arrived, carrying a cup holder which he set down on the table. Logan was right behind him, holding two burritos and a muffin.

He slapped one of the burritos on the table in front of Julian, making sure it smushed just a little. He set Derek's burritos down without any trouble, letting them lightly land on the table and remained completely fine.

Julian took his coffee out of the cup holder and sipped from it. It burned his tongue. Great.

As he was unwrapping his burrito, Logan said, "Shouldn't the big movie star be wearing some sort of disguise?"

"Yes, can I borrow your ugly mask? Oh, wait. You're wearing it." Julian took a big bite of his burrito as Logan started, nostrils flaring, eyes aflame.

"You guys haven't stopped bickering ever since we landed," Derek said, looking at the two of them. "What's wrong with you? Usually you find a way to be civil."

"Nothing," they said in unison, and each turned to their coffees, taking large sips. Julian ignored his burnt tongue. He allowed the hot liquid to seep through his every pore, giving him the energy he would surely need to make it through a day of Logan and Christmas.

"Let's just pretend we all like each other, okay?" Derek suggested, finishing his muffin in three big bites.

"Fine." Logan crossed his arms and sat back. "I just wish I knew who he was in love with and – oh, for the love of all that is good and holy, Jules, put on some sunglasses or something!"

Julian turned to see what Logan was looking at out the window. It was two girls who had apparently seen Julian and were now hastening toward him.

Julian took a sugar packet out of the holder on the table and casually dropped it on the floor. When he bent to pick it up, he heard the two girls enter the café.

"Excuse me?" one of them asked. Julian pretended to have lost the sugar, moving his hand around as though he was blind. "Is that…"

Logan said something that should not be repeated, and Julian watched as Derek's foot found Logan's leg and kicked it – hard.

Julian straightened up when the coast was clear.

Logan pulled his own sunglasses out of his backpack and slid them across the table. "Please. For the rest of us?"

"I don't get why it's-" Julian started, but Logan cut him off.

"It's annoying! Maybe I just want to spend five minutes with my friends without some blonde coming up and making out with you." He was positively seething.

"Okay." Julian stood up. "I'm going to go find a bathroom. And when I get back, I want you to be ready to have a normal conversation with me." He reached into his pocket, took a deep breath, bracing himself for the fireworks that were sure to come, and placed the pill bottle on the table in front of Logan. He'd picked it up from the trash can in the kitchen before leaving and pocketed it, thinking it might come in handy.

He made it halfway to the bathroom before Logan caught up with him. It was good that it had taken a moment for Logan to comprehend the situation and decide to come and pick a fight, because if it hadn't, they would've ended up having a shouting match in the café.

As it was, the airport was filling up, and Julian didn't want to get yelled at in front of so many people.

He kept walking, though Logan was now right next to him, breathing hard out of fury. They made it to the bathroom – miraculously empty – and Julian turned around as soon as the door was closed. Logan locked the door.

"I cannot believe you," Logan growled, his voice low. Julian hoisted himself up onto the sink, and Logan was standing in front of him, directly in front of him, too close.

"What did I do?" Julian asked innocently.

"You know I hate those pills!" Logan exclaimed, kicking at the floor.

"And you know that no one can stand you when you don't take them!"

"Maybe I don't care!"

"And why shouldn't you?"

"Because I don't care about people liking me!"

"I think you do."

"I know I don't."

"You do. So why don't you take the pills?"

"Because maybe I like feeling something!"

"Like what? Anger? Fury? Hatred?"

"Like love. But you wouldn't understand, you've only slept around with girls and had 'Hollywood Romances' where you do nothing but walk on the beach in your bathing suits and walk down the street holding hands. So maybe you're just like me when I'm drugged, maybe that's why you're such an ass."

"Oh, I'm an ass?"

"Yeah."

"How?"

"You just made out with a girl you had no intention of loving. Ever. Honestly, Julian, you've never had a girlfriend for more than a month, tops."

"You're one to talk."

"Of course I haven't, I've only dated them because my dad made me. I don't even like girls!"

"And who's to say I do?"

…

No.

Nonononono.

Julian did not just say that.

His eyes widened. His heart, already beating wildly and erratically, began to press against his rib cage like it was trying to break out.

"What?" Logan asked, leaning closer, as though he wasn't sure he'd heard correctly.

Julian couldn't think of a good out. He couldn't think of anything. All he could think of was nononononono.

He could only repeat himself. Because Logan had heard, after all. There was no point in denying it.

"And. Who's. To. Say. I. Do." Each word was torn out of Julian like a bullet out of flesh.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Logan asked, his voice hushed.

There was a banging on the bathroom door. Neither of them moved. They were stock still, perfect cardboard cutouts of people.

"I think you know," Julian said sadly. The sorrow that had hung over him interminably since Freshman year when he realized that he was in love with Logan now was hanging in his words. A dim cloud of gray floated between the letters, the vowels, the consonants, the words themselves.

"Say it," Logan said. Not being cruel. He just had to know. He had to hear it. He couldn't believe it otherwise.

Julian paused, his lips forming around it, but what was he supposed to say? Just because Logan knew he was…he was…not gay but bisexual…did that mean he had to tell Logan he loved him?

"I don't actually know what the hell I am," he said quietly.

"You don't…know." Logan's voice was hollow, not angry, not growling. Julian wished he'd yell. Julian wished he'd jump up, start throwing things around, toss Julian to the ground and start kicking him…anything but this.

"No." Julian forced his voice to stay steady, using all his years of acting experience to keep calm and pretend he didn't care. But there's a difference between playing a character and hiding yourself.

Then suddenly, so suddenly Julian didn't even see Logan leaning forward, their lips met. Juliann didn't pull away, didn't allow himself to think or believe this was real, as Logan wrapped his arms around Julian.

The banging on the door continued, but neither of them cared.

Julian slid off the counter, foot landing in a puddle of water on the floor.

And still they kissed.

They kissed until an airport security guard came up to the door and they heard a key turning in the lock. Then they pulled apart.

Julian quickly pulled his sunglasses down onto his face, from where they'd been perched on his head. Logan grabbed his hand, gave it a squeeze, and let go just as the door opened.

"Excuse me, sirs, but did you two lock the door?" the guard asked, a crowd of angry-looking travelers around him.

"No," Logan said innocently, and he and Julian pushed past him, through the crowd, and into the now bustling airport.

It was amazing how quickly things could change. One minute there had been no one in the airport and Julian was kissing a girl. The next minute, it was full and he was kissing a boy.

He couldn't complain, though. His heart had never felt lighter than it did just now. Because there was a chance Logan liked him back. There was a chance things might work out.

Of course, they'd have to date secretly. They could never come public with their relationship, not with Julian's career on the line.

Still.

Maybe things would change.

They had a way of doing that.