(A/N: The only reason I could see myself getting an iPad right now is for Angry Birds. Needless to say, I do not own Angry Birds, The Lion King or Easter. But I do own this story - so you'll need my permission before taking anything from it. The chapters are somewhat short, the story itself is only 9,674 words long. So its short, snappy, sweet and, hopefully, hilarious. It will make you laugh, it will make you cry; it will make you want to punch the guy sitting next to you, it will make you want to punch me, but, most importantly, you will learn the true meaning of Easter: chocolate.

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Actually, there is no chocolate in this story...so maybe you won't learn anything after all. Oh well...at the bottom of the page is the upload date for Chapter 2. Enjoy!)

"Hammer, hammer, hammer!" commanded Simba, holding his paw out waiting for his mate to give him the hammer.

"Got it!" replied Nala, finding the hammer and handing it to him.

Simba nailed the final board in.

"Phew!" he exclaimed, throwing the hammer down onto the floor and lying down on the damp mud. "Well…glad that's over with. Got the eggs?"

"And the paint."

"Good," replied Simba. He took another deep breath, and then said reassuringly: "he'll get over it."

"I hope so," replied Nala. She lied down next to Simba. She looked up at the flimsy structure that they had just built together: a bunch of sticks, logs, and rock slabs hurriedly put together just enough to keep the wind and, most importantly, hornbills out. Behind them was a small cave that went into the ground. So small, in fact, that only one of them could probably fit in it at a time, which was the other part of the reasoning behind building, what essentially was, a natural tower out in the open.

"Do you think it will hold up?" asked Nala.

"It's better than nothing," replied Simba.

"I really should have got some decorations."

"Nala…really…we have much bigger problems than that right now."

"Want me to get started on the painting?"

"Would you?"

"Sure," replied Nala. The lioness got up and walked over towards where the eggs and paint were, safely stored in the cave at the back.

A gust of wind suddenly blew and caught the top of the lion-built tower. Simba and Nala watched anxiously, hoping that nothing would break or fall as the top of the tower creaked as it moved.

The strong wind resided and Simba and Nala both let out a huge sigh of relief. Nala looked back down towards the eggs and the paint, and then found another item that she'd completely forgotten about.

"Simba," she called.

The male lion looked over at her.

"Camera."

Nala tossed it through the air and Simba grabbed a hold of it. Simba pressed the 'on' button and turned the camera towards him. Nala settled down to begin painting the eggs, and Simba pressed record.

"So…hey…this is me, Simba. Eh…it is early April, and Nala and I have confined ourselves into this den for a few days. Say 'hi' Nala!" exclaimed Simba, turning the camera slightly to the side so that it would pick up his mate.

Nala smiled and waved.

Simba turned the camera back towards him. "Yeah, so…we thought it would be a good idea to keep a log here, so that in case we died, people would know that we are trying to do a good thing here. See, Nala and I were assigned this year by some communitarian government to provide all of the Easter eggs to the nearby prides. Well…we were on a tight deadline, because they didn't tell us until about two days ago. Anyways, Nala and I had no choice really but to take eggs from a local group of hornbills. Uh…anyways, as you guys probably know, I have a hornbill as my advisor and…well…see…um…" Simba turned his head around, "Nala…I wouldn't call this theft, would you?"

"I probably would actually."

"Oh…" Simba turned back to face the camera, "yeah, we pretty much took these eggs from the hornbills without their permission. Now, we're pretty certain that these eggs aren't fertilized. Ninety percent."

"Seventy," came Nala's voice.

"Eighty," replied Simba. "But…we don't think Zazu's going to feel that way. Or…none of the hornbills are going to feel that way. See, for some reason, hornbills feel as if their suppressed as advisors, and so a long time ago they formed a union. Well…this union basically ended up becoming a club, long story short. Eh…this club is called the 'kamikaze club.' Now it's not fatal, no. Zazu's never told me that anyone's ever died in the kamikaze club. Eh…injuries, yes. But deaths…no, no deaths."

"Well…there was that one time…"

"So it's a harmless club, but, the reason it was formed was because the hornbills realized that they're strongest weapon was the ability to fly and hit stuff, and that if they approached from an upwards angle, they could curl up into a ball just before impact and hurt or destroy…whatever it is that they intended on hurting…or destroying. And so…" Simba pointed the camera upwards, "Nala and I have built this tower. Okay…well I built the tower…"

"Hey! I helped!"

"…so that the hornbills can't get to us straight away." Simba tilted the camera back down at himself. "You see, you'd think that the best decision would be to go up to the hornbills and ask them for the unfertilized eggs, explaining that they are necessary for us to hand out all the Easter eggs to all the local cubs. You'd think that hornbills would be reasonable, that they would understand that, that this would be the best decision." Simba slowly began to shake his head. "No," he replied.

(A/N: Are you rofl-ing yet? Cos if you are, there's a problem, because this chapter was just an introduction. Chapter 2 will be posted on Tuesday. Have a great weekend!)