Nick could feel the eyes of the other bar patrons on him. No one screamed or called him a freak. The patrons of the Dark Star were too sophisticated for that, but he noticed their stares and the way they edged away from him as they passed his stool. What's the matter? Never seen a man with glowing eyes before? He gulped down another whiskey. The same enhancements that made him look like he'd escaped from techno-hell also made it damn hard to get properly drunk. There were days he hated Cerberus for that more than anything.

A pretty blonde sat three seats down, nursing a glass of some asari wine Nick couldn't even pronounce properly. Her hair and skin looked as if they had been bleached religiously until she resembled every other vid actress, but she had nice high cheekbones and an athletic enough body. He could feel vague stirrings of lust course through him. There had been a time when he wouldn't have given her a second glance. Women had been throwing themselves at him since he'd hit puberty, and it had only gotten worse after the Battle of the Citadel. He'd been able to be strictly professional on missions because he always knew sex would be waiting for him like an old friend once he got back. And now he sat staring at Ms. Generic Pathetic. But he wasn't much for watching her run screaming from the room—or worse, fucking him out of pity—so he drank.

"Looking for a little R&R, Shepard?"

Nick turned to look up at Miranda. It was the first time he'd ever seen her off duty. She'd exchanged her uniform and armor for a white blazer that did nothing to disguise her curves. And she seemed to hold herself differently. Some of the tension that always seemed to swirl around her had left. Not all of it, but enough that he could almost imagine that she wasn't both his immediate subordinate and the person assigned to put a bullet in his skull if he ever went too far off the reservation. "Have a seat, Lawson." When she hesitated, he added, "Come on, I only look like something that'll eat you alive."

She winced almost imperceptibly but sat down. Miranda didn't say anything about his scars, but she never did. She had never apologized for making him what he was. Why should she? It wasn't her fault Wilson had forced her to wake him up before he was fully recovered. She wasn't the one who had virtually promised him that the dermal regeneration procedure would work. When Chakwas had suggested it, she had told him outright that she didn't know if it would work. He'd been desperate to look normal again, so he'd gone ahead with the procedure. And now he was stuck like this.

"Not smart to be seen with me." She gestured dismissively at the blonde. "She'll think you're taken."

He took another drink. It was weird the way Miranda could read his mind sometimes. It would've been different if they were friends, but she treated him with the same cold politeness that she used for everyone except Jacob. And she was Cerberus. She said it was her job to see that he succeeded in stopping the Collector attacks, but he knew better. She was his minder. It was a bit hard to confide in someone when you knew that everything you said would end up in a report to the Illusive Man. "How did you know I was thinking about her?"

She gave him a familiar half-smile, the one she used when she knew more than he did. "I rebuilt you, remember? That includes your brain. I probably know you better than you know yourself. It was my job for two years to learn everything I could about you."

Nick wasn't sure which was scarier: what she'd said or the utter casualness with which she'd said it. Miranda was the one the people in the bar ought to be backing away from, not him. He looked around. Several of the men and a few of the women were staring appreciatively at her. Idiots. "Remind me never to get on your bad side." Another drink. Damn it, was he going to have to start drinking ryncol now? "It doesn't matter anyway. Much rather talk to someone who won't think I'm a freak."

Her eyes darkened slightly. Nick felt the skin on the back of his arms prickle. There was something terrifying and fascinating about her eyes, like watching a fire that could burn everything in its path, but never went out of control. "This constant self-pity of yours is getting very tiresome."

He shrugged. "I don't see how that's any of your business."

"It's my business the moment it starts affecting morale. The entire crew has noticed your constant scowling since the operation failed. And, need I remind you, that the commander—"

"—sets the tone for the whole mission. I know. I just don't know what to do about it." Nick frowned in irritation. He didn't want to be having this conversation with anyone, especially not too-beautiful, too confident Miranda Lawson who had probably never been turned down in her life. She reminded him too much of what he used to be. He forced a smile. "I know! I'll go live in a nice dark castle and wait for a beautiful but virtuous woman to come and break the spell so I can turn back into a handsome prince."

She shook her head in exasperation, but some of the anger had left her. "Well, at least the sarcasm is intact. Nice to know I did something right. But unless you want to be sitting in bars drinking truly abominable cheap whiskey for the entirety of every shore leave, you're going to have to make an effort."

"It's not what I want. All I want is somebody who won't make a big deal about the lovely glow-in-the-dark eyes Cerberus gave me."

She smiled a little, trying to be warm. "Those 'glow-in-the-dark eyes' represent the greatest medical advance humanity has ever seen. That's all that they are. Anyone who can't see that is a fool. Doubly so if they can't see your other good qualities for them."

Nick smiled inwardly. She wanted him to stop feeling sorry for himself. Maybe a little teasing was just what the doctor ordered. "You think I have good qualities? Why Ms. Lawson, you should have told me sooner. I wouldn't have wasted a moment in a place like this when I could have you."

She flushed slightly. "That's not what I meant and you know it."

He drained the last of the whiskey and signaled the bartender for another. He could finally,feel the familiar warmth spreading through him. Maybe he could get properly drunk after all. "Seriously, I think you're the only person I've met since I woke up that's never stared at me. Even Joker's still a little weirded out." And you'd never sleep with me in a million years. Not that a one night stand with Miranda would be terrible. She was gorgeous, after all. Smart, too, even if she was a bit stuck up about it. They might even manage to have a decent conversation afterward.

No. He wouldn't let his mind head off in that direction. She was icy. He'd never seen her smile except ironically. She was his subordinate. She was a terrorist for God's sake. If it hadn't been for the Collectors, he would have arrested her and dropped her off at the nearest Alliance detention facility.

She was also the only remotely attractive woman he trusted not to lie to him about his looks. Miranda had never lied to him, not even about the control chip. And it wasn't like there were any brass to stop them.

Fucking hell.

Next: Stealing Memory