IMPORTANT READ: this is the LAST CHAPTER I'm ever writing for fanfiction, I'm not allowed to continue this anymore. *sob* BUT Before all of you kill me, I want you all to know it has been ADOPTED by House-of-Blood! YAY! I put a lot of effort in this and I only had an hour to write this (I have to leave right after posting this)

I'm really sorry and I would continue this story if I could but I'm not allowed to. You guys are awesome! 111 freaking reviews!

So I was originally planning to just make this an A.N. but then I decided to add some of my favorite unwritten ideas I've planned for this story. I'm not going to leave with people being sad, I want to go out laughing like the insane maniac I am. And joy! Henry and Joss are in it too! For like two paragraphs, but yay anyways!

I'm going to miss all of you guys...

So behold... *dramatic pause* my last and finaly chapter.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Rule 20: no matter how stupid a holiday is, you MUST participate in it or suffer the wrath of your half vampire's puppy face

Otis Otis always believed human holidays were weird, take Thanksgiving for example, it was supposed to celebrate a successful harvest and the colonists' friendship with the Native Americans. That would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the tiny fact that the colonists later killed almost all the Native Americans. What was that supposed to teach little kids: 'It's a-okay to annihilate your friends after they've helped you'? Yes, Thanksgiving was not one of Otis's favorite holidays.

There was another holiday that disturbed Otis even more though, Halloween. Oh the irony; a vampire's hating on Halloween. The holiday confused Otis, why were humans celebrating the creatures of the night that wanted to kill them? It was like Little Red's Riding Hood's mother sending her out with a sign saying "eat me". The little kids running around in vampire costumes were practically begging to be bitten.

So it was understandable that Otis was a little annoyed at Vlad when the child was jumping up and down begging his uncle to take him costume shopping.

"No."

"Pwease?" Vlad begged, with his abnormally large puppy eyes and pouting lips.

"You're already a vampire what's the point of dressing up?"

Vlad sighed in frustration, "but uncle Otis nobody knows I'm a vampire!" the toddler protested, "besides, Henry's pawents are letting him dress up and he has a weally cool costume!" Translation: Henry's parents are cooler than you.

Otis facepalmed when he realized Vlad was nowhere done begging.

"What's the matter with letting Vlad go trick or treating?" Nelly asked, looking up from her book, "I'd take him myself but I have a late night shift at the hospital."

Otis opened his mouth to argue but then decided against it, "Fine, but if Vlad dresses up as a werewolf I'm disowning him."

It had taken Vlad exactly two minutes and twenty seven seconds to choose his costume, his tiger costume to be specific. A choice as Vlad put it, 'that Stwipes would really like.'

"Hey Vlad!" Otis watched as an excited little boy ran up to greet his nephew. What was his name again? Herman? Harry? Oh yes, that's right, Henry, "did you chooses a costume yet?"

"Yeah!" Vlad grinned.

Rule 21: Make sure you have a lot of duct tape to prevent your half-vampire from saying anything stupid. Lots and lots of duct tape.

A woman ran to catch up with her son, "Sorry about that," she smiled apologetically, "I didn't know you and Vlad were shopping here too! What a surprise!"

Otis gave a pleasant smile, "Yes, quite a surprise Mrs. McMillan."

"Mom, why can't I get that costume?" another slightly older boy, whined.

"Greg I said no costumes with excessive blood!" Henry's mother shook her head, "little boys can be so..."

Annoyingly hyperactive? Yes, yes they were.

"...Energetic." Not the word that popped into Otis's mind but let's go with that!

"Yeah," Otis nodded. Otis watched in confusion as yet another little boy joined Vlad and Henry's conversation. Didn't Mrs. McMillan only have two sons.

"Oh that's my nephew Joss, his family's staying with us during the fall. His mom's somewhere around here."

The boy Joss, was one of the shy kids that gave quiet one worded answers.

"Joss?" a woman's voice called, a pretty blonde woman appeared.

Joss instantly perked up, "that's my mommy," he told Vlad.

"Your mom's fat." Vlad said blatantly. Otis mentally face-palmed, tomorrow Vlad's having a lesson on good manners.

Joss scowled, "She's not fat! She's pregnant with my little sister!"

His mom laughed, "it's okay Joss, Vlad doesn't know any better."

Joss crossed his arms and glowered at Vlad while Otis fought back his parental instincts to death glare at the little boy.

Before Vlad could say anything that'll embarrass himself, Otis whisked him away to the checkout line with his costume.

Their cashier was a portly tough looking man and Vlad instantly brightened, "are you pregnant?" he asked. Yeah, Vlad definitely needed to learn about a little thing called manners.

In a second the man's face turned to a dark shade of red, "What. Did. You. Say?" the man growled.

Vlad, not taking a hint carried on, "is it a girl or a boy? Did you know my friend's mommy is having a girl?"

Otis gave a nervous laugh, "just ignore my nephew, he can be a bit clueless at times."

"Is your nephew saying what I think he's saying?" the man barked at Otis.

"What's he saying?" Otis asked warily.

"He's saying that I look like a fat woman!" the cashier roared. Otis mused over his options, her could easily beat the guy with his vampire strength but he didn't want to expose Vlad to that much violence, or he could just run away with the costume and Vlad.

Fortunately, the manager appeared, "now Waldo, calm down, deep breathes, you remember what your counselor said about your anger right?"

"Yes," Waldo scowled, roughly shoving Otis the costume he paid for.

"Hey uncle Otis," Vlad said as soon as they left the building.

"Yes?" Otis said, getting really annoyed with Vlad at the moment.

"Can we get some fish?" the toddler inquired.

"For dinner?" Otis asked in confusion.

"No!" Vlad looked horrified at the thought, "for pets!"

"No," Otis said gruffly. It had been the tenth time Vlad had asked for a pet, in a day.

Big mistake, maybe the rumors about Vlad enslaving the world was right, as long as he had his annoyingly cute puppy face.

"Fine, we'll check the pet store, but we're not buying any pets," Otis relented.

They bought a pet. Two, actually. Two betta fish actually. They were easy to take care of, and they were cheap.

Once they reached home Vlad dashed inside, "Aunt Nelly! Aunt Nelly! We bought fishes! We have pets!" Vlad screamed, then towering over Stripes Vlad said in the most serious voice he could muster, "No eating the fishes Stwipes, I'll know if you do."

The two new members of the family were names Swimmy and Spotty. Original, no?

Rule 22: beware the cannibalistic species.

On the very next day, October 31, Vlad dragged Otis outside the house at 7:00 P.M in his striped tiger costume. Holding a bag for the candy on one hand and Stripes on the other. Otis watched as other little monster children ran around dragging their children behind them.

Vlad couldn't stop smiling the whole day, and while Otis was happy Vlad was having a good time, he was desperate to go back home at 9:00, no wait, that's not right he was desperate to go back at 7:01 but it was nine now. Usually, Otis enjoyed the night, he'd be a fail vampire if he didn't, but all the squealing children was giving Otis a headache.

Suddenly a ear piercing scream ran through the night sky; dramatic right? Not to mention it was on Halloween. If you ever hear someone screaming on Halloween night, run the other direction.

"Uncle Otis! KILL IT!" Vlad screamed.

"What?" Otis frowned.

"ZOMBIE! ZOMBIE! ZOMBIE!" Vlad shouted, cowering behind Otis.

Otis watched as a teenager in a zombie costume stared at Vlad in confusion. For Vlad's sake Otis smiled at the teenager and let his fangs extend. The teenager looked horrified before running away screaming.

"Problem solved," Otis grinned. Maybe Halloween wasn't so bad after all.

"It's gone?" Vlad asked peeking out from behind Otis's back.

"It's gone, now let's go home."

After returning home you'd think things would return back to normal, but they didn't. Why aren't the readers surprised?

"Uncle Otis! Swimmy's learned a new trick! He could float on his back!"

Uh oh. "Umm Vlad, I think Swimmy's dead," Otis said examining the fish while Spotty was nibbling on the carcass of its companion. Ew.

Turns out, two betta fish aren't supposed to be in the same tank or they'll fight to the death.

Otis obviously didn't tell Vlad that though, "he died of happiness!" the vampire lied. What was Otis supposed to say, 'your pet your killed your other pet'?

Vlad sniffled, rubbing his eyes on his sleeves, "Swimmy was the best swimmer ever," Vlad declared. Then he renamed Spotty, the evil murdering little fish, Swimmy number 2. Being named after someone you killed is pretty morbid, is it not?

After returning the original Swimmy back into the ocean Otis relaxed on the arm chair in the middle while Vlad was quietly sniffling at the loss of his pet. It wasn't long before the doorbell rang though. Otis glared at the trick or treaters in annoyance. Not again.

"Ahhh zombies! Uncle Otis kill them!"

"Uncle Otis," Vlad called in the middle of the night, clutching Stripes tightly, "Stwipes had a nightmare."

Otis rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, "What about?" he asked the half-vampire.

"I had a dream about zombies," Vlad said, Otis sighed why was he not surprised? "Swimmy was a zombie too."

"Vlad everybody knows that zombies are the less scarier versions of vampires," Otis told the toddler.

Vlad tilted his head in confusion, "What do you mean?" he frowned.

"Vampires are superior to zombies in everyway possible, zombies are just cheap rip off versions of vampires."

"..." Vlad met his uncle with a blank stare.

Otis sighed, "Vampires can beat any zombie, and I promise to beat up any zombie that tries to hurt you."

"Pinky promise?" Vlad asked holding out his pinky.

"Pinky promise," Otis swore.

Vlad still looked a bit agitated, but he calmed down a lot, "Okay, thanks daddy."

Otis looked perplexed for a second, then grinned. Ha take that Tomas, he was cool enough to be called daddy!

Most of the ideas in my story were actually based off my real life events that happened to me or my family members. Many of the crazy stuff Vlad did, I based off some of strange things I did as a child. Like those zombies, except I was terrified of evil killer dolls. I still have a small phobia of those evil porcelain dolls.

Vlad:that explains why I'm so messed up.

Me:BUT I wasn't that crazy, I was actually a good little toddler. I was a freaking child saint!

Vlad: I have a hard time believing that.

*Sigh* this is it. Our last goodbye.

Vlad:don't go all cheesey on me and your readers.

Me:*sniffle* all right. Sadly most of my stories has been deleted, *sob* I worked so hard on them, but I've been allowed to keep two of my favorite stories up.

Vlad: well it was nice knowing you... but it's even better that you're not holding me captive anymore.

Me: well for old time's sake I guess I should...

Vlad:*suspiciously* you guess you should what?

Me: NOW MY PANDA ARMY ATTACK! *my army of pandas with bazookas attack Vlad*

So bye for good everybody, and remember to check House-of-Blood profile for the continued version!