AN/ This is my first fanfiction, i tried my best so tell me if you like it. Sorry if there is spelling mistakes

Disclaimer: i dont own any of these characters.. sadly :(

Elena's POV

The look in Damon's eyes when she hugged him …the pure hopelessness on his face, and emotionless dark eyes, she couldn't help but feel guilt overcome her. Of course it wasn't her fault any of this happened, but she couldn't shake off this feeling. It was almost too much for her to bear. She wanted to take him in her arms and just hold him, of course she tried that but to have him open up to her, that was never going to happen.

Damon has always been stronger than his brother, even when he found out Katherine wasn't in the tomb, after 146 years of searching for her and even then he wouldn't break down, but this was different…

But then there was Stefan, his brother her lover, laying beside of Elena in her bed, not even bothering to go home and comfort him.

She tried to shake off the feeling, but every time Elena closed her eyes the image of Damon popped into her head, sitting on the couch drinking his pain away, staring emotionless into the fire.

"Stefan ... i... i think you should leave" she shuttered

Stefan's head shot up, with a hurt look on his face, Elena noticed that right away, she couldn't help but let out a giggle.

"I didn't mean it like that... I meant you need to go home, Damon needs you even if he won't admit it."

Stefan let out a long sigh, and gave her a Your Right look,

"Call me tomorrow, and tell me how it goes"

Stefan nodded and gave Elena a kiss, and before she could say anything else Elena felt the bed shake and Stefan was gone.

Damon POV

I stared into the roaring flames in the fireplace, wishing I could be anywhere but here. There are too much memories of Katherine, Elena, and of course Rose, I need to get out of this damn house.

But where would I go? If I left what would everyone think of me, that I'm a wimp, I can't face up to this, that maybe I would break down out of this shell right in front of them and come into sobs. One thing's for sure … Damon Salvatore doesn't cry.

But the worst part is, as hard as I try, I can't seem to shut off that switch inside me, and I am forced to feel everything, every person that I killed, the shame I brought to my family, all the pain, fear, and the worst part of it, I feel all the guilt.

Rose was the only person, or shall I say vampire that only understood me, and now she's dead and its all my fault. I was the one who pissed Jules off, she didn't do anything.

I could have stopped Jules, maybe go in front of rose to protect her, but of course I didn't even bother I was too caught up in saving myself to even think about her, and now I have to live with the consequences

"Damon" a distance voice whispered

I tilted my head and, there standing in the door way was none other than my brother, staring deciding whether or not it's safe for him to come towards me.

"Trying to keep your distance little brother" I said raising my eyebrows.

Stefan let out a heavy sigh and took a step closer, he smelled like lilies... Elena of course, now it makes sense, she probably forced him to come here.

"Did you come from Elena's or did you finally try to bring on you girly side." I muttered sarcastically, and my whole body stiffened, knowing that him leaving her to come here means something's wrong.

"Yes I came from Elena's, and if you're wondering why, it's because I came to see if you're okay"

"News flash brother, I'm not a little kid, I don't need someone to check up on me"

I answered a little breathlessly, not sounding at all like myself.

"Damon we need to talk" Stefan said looking me in the eyes

"Are you breaking up with me" I said in a sad voice sarcastically.

"Wait what? ... Break up"?

"You know, whenever someone says we need to talk, they are breaking up with you"

Stefan rolls his eyes

"This is going to be a long night... I don't have time for this Damon"

"Then i don't have time to listen"

I turned my back on him, and started to walk away, I don't have time to listen to his pity, and when he finds out what really happened, it's only going to get worse,

Why can't he just leave me alone… it's obvious what he's really here for, ehh Stefan and Elena, so much alike.

"Damon i know your upset about rose but don't act this..."

"Upset, I'm not upset… I don't care"

Why does everything I'm upset about rose, I barley even knew her, maybe cared for her a little but that doesn't change anything.

"Don't do that, don't pretend you don't care."

I turned around, and locked eyes with my brother.

"I don't know what you think, maybe you think that I care, but I assure you I don't... and beside i barley even knew that women, I'm just happy that this is over, she was a pain in the ass and I'm glade she gone" I said taking a deep breath.

"Damon, i know you're hurting," Stefan said his voice soft.

"I told you I'm fine!" he snapped.

"and even if you deny it, you cared about her," Stefan said.

"So what if I did?" Damon said, rolling his eyes.

"Don't worry It's okay," Stefan said, "It means your-"

"Human?" Damon sneered, "Don't you remember little brother, I'm not human!"

"I wasn't going to say that, I was going to say it means your possible of feeling, no matter what you may say or think about yourself. It means you're capable of love and care."

"Shut up!" Damon shouted

Why is it so hard for everyone to leave me alone... sure I might have cared, or even loved Rose, but that doesn't change anything, it doesn't matter she's still dead and nothing can bring her back.

Stefan doesn't even care he's lying I can see it in his eyes, he's probably gloating inside, maybe even happy because as he would put it I'm showing my humanity.

Stefan took a step closer to him.

"Get away from me, besides I have unfinished business to do, I'll see you in the morning, maybe "Damon shuttered

"Damon I don't want to same thing that happened to Rose, happen to you, if you go after her she might attack again."

"Oh, suddenly you care."

"I don't want you dead, Damon."

"Could have fooled me", Damon mumbled.

"Damon just talk to me"

"Talk to you about what... about how she died in my arms, is that what you wanted to hear, I staked her in her sleep, she was in pain and there was nothing I could do about, I didn't have a choice" Tears were coming to my eyes now.

"I'm sorry, I...I ... I didn't know" Stefan said giving him a pity look.

"I don't want you pity" he pauses, "I want your absence

Then Damon Fell on the floor and broke into tears.

"Damon ..I..I"

"Get away from me" he said between sobs

Then Stefan did something that even surprised himself, he walked over any put his arms awkwardly around his older brother.

"Shhh it okay.. you can cry"

"Just leave me alone" Damon snapped through his tears

"You will never be alone, as long as I'm here" Stefan said softly

"But I am, and i will always be" Damon whispered through his tears

"Remember when we were younger, and you were always there for me, now it's my turn, I will never leave you" Stefan said holding his brother.

xXxX

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