Hello to all again! I was surprised at the quick responses that followed when I posted the last chapter and boy, did reading them make me do my own happy dance. I will same that I got quite the odd look from the cashier at the check-out counter of the grocery store. Please lady, don't kill my buzz. I do want to respond to a few of my reviewers:

StarSwoop- I see that you had the same picture in your head that I did when I wrote that part lol sends that wonderful shiver up your spine, doesn't it? ;)

CooliotheAutobot- As you saw in the last chapter, you were pretty close with your comment there lol Like I said, you were following my train of thought. Here I thought that I was the only one on that crazy train ;)

Annonymus- Now now, you're attempting to jump the gun lol I was wondering if someone would notice that Bumblebee mysteriously went missing. Don't worry; that will be explained in this chapter and I'm sure you, as well as everyone else, will love the explanation.

Your Author Bouncing on the Booth in the Restaurant with Joy,

InvincibleTonight

AN: I do not own the Transformers franchise … I wonder if a few of us banded together, whether we could afford it … I must look into this. But anyhow, the only thing I own is my Sunstreaker muse, who lounges happily along the back of the couch, making snide comments over my shoulder and nitpicking my grammar and lack of spellcheck capabilities. Oh, and kudos to Jeff Dunham. A line from one of his skits fits perfectly ;) Nor do I own any of Hal Sparks' material, but he's a damn funny guy.

…..

"Something wrong, Sunstreaker? See some little organic squishy 'eye candy' that's got you all hot and bothered, as the humans say?" 'Hide smirked across the table at the younger mech, who's engine was rumbling in a low growl in the parking lot, his cooling fans a quiet whirl in the background. The blonde gave him a sneer before a loud crash was heard from out in parking lot and 'Hide jumped, choking down a curse and glaring a promise of slow, bloody off-lining in the near future as he rubbed at his upper arm.

Sunstreaker grinned evilly at the older 'bot, "Sorry about that, old man. Still getting used to the new form, you know? Doors are tricky to get the hang of."

"Why you little-!"

"Easy, Ironhide,"

"But Optimus-"

The Prime gave his Weapons Specialist a pointed look, "You know better than to bait Sunstreaker." He turned to the yellow twin, who was smiling smugly across the table at the black 'bot, "Don't think that you're getting away with that either, Sunstreaker. Be more careful when we're off-base and in public. We don't need you drawing unwanted attention." Sunstreaker deflated visually, slumping back in his seat with his glass, brooding moodily. Only to have his chair shoved back towards the table, the brunette paramedic placing her tennis shoe on the back crossbar and her knee to the back. On her shoulder was a fully loaded tray of plates.

"I'd appreciate if you'd pay a little more attention to what's happening around you, if you please." When he glared at her back as she walked away, she surprised him by sending a scathing look back over her shoulder, "Don't you give me that look, boy, I've had enough to deal with today and you're already dangerously close to making it onto my list."

Jamie smiled at the yellow twin's shocked expression, "I'd be careful of her, if I were you. She's at the start of having a bad couple of days." She and Mikaela shared an understanding, sympathetic look, while Sam made a show of clapping his hands over his ears and humming loudly.

Sunny had a look of confusion on his face, "What?" He felt an elbow drop down on the back of his chair and a forearm rested on his shoulder. Looking behind him, he saw the blonde female twin, Dalia, leaning at ease, her one hip cocked and her legs crossed at the ankle. She smiled cheekily at him and winked.

"What Jamie means is, Melanie has hopped onto her menstrual cycle and isn't above running your ass over with it. The only warning you'll get is the sound of the engine. It goes 'biiiitch bitch biiiiiiiiitch bitch bitch'." She made hand gestures like working the throttle on a motorcycle, "Luckily you can hear that from a mile away." She shrugged one shoulder, "Otherwise for the most part she's pretty even tempered. When you do piss her off, the best course of action is to duck. She always has something fling-able in her pockets at any given time."

Celia appeared, leaning her hip onto the edge of the table next to Sideswipe, crossing her arms loosely, a grin perfectly matching her sister's on her face, "And the odds of it being something sharp double when she's wearing her paramedic uniform. The stuff I've seen her pull out of her pockets," Celia shook her head, giggling. Optimus noticed that Ratchet's attention snapped onto the red-headed female twin, suddenly interested in her story, "One time, last summer, she was restocking her rig in the parking lot, since her garage was being built, and some of the bikers were having a darts tournament. One of the guys nearly hit her twice and she snapped at him, telling him to watch what he was doing before he was shown up in front of his friends by a girl if he did it again. He of course, being the big, dumb, burly biker that he was, laughed at her and asked what she was going to do about it."

Sideswipe leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms back behind his head, a slow grin spreading across his face when Celia's eyes dropped down and skimmed back up his form … twice, "So," He asked, making her eyes fly back up to his face, "What did she do?"

Dalia picked the story back up, and Optimus felt himself smile when Ratchet's optics flipped over to her, "She flung a syringe out of the back of the rig, right past the guy's ear over his shoulder. Hit the target almost dead center, too."

Celia spoke up again; the medic's optics flipped back, "And the kicker is that she sticks her head out the back door and the guy is standing in front of the board, scared stiff, and she just tsks and says, 'damn, always goes to the left' and then just goes back to what she was doing."

There was a snort of laughter and they looked down the table where Ratchet sat, absently sipping at his glass of water and pretending to study the boats that floated smoothly out on the lake. Closer inspection revealed a subtle smile on his lips.

"Hey," Sam's voice was tinged with surprise and a hint of worry as the boy looked around, his head turning this way and that, first along the table, then in the surrounding crowd, "Where's 'Bee?"

At the boy's words, the 'bots realized that the little scout was indeed missing from the table. He had such skill at just fading into the background that if you didn't remind yourself that he had been there, you would never notice him. Even at the base, when he was in 'bot form, he could still come and go without anyone in the room noticing he had flitted by.

"He was here when we sat down," Sam looked more concerned, moving like he was going to stand and go looking for his guardian. "When did he leave?"

Jamie lifted an eyebrow at him, "You mean your little plaid friend? He was inside looking at the G'uvner when I came out here."

Optimus had a quizzical look on his face, "Forgive me, but who, or what, is the G'uvner?"

The black-haired woman tossed a thumb over her shoulder absently sucking at the straw in her glass, "He's the bar's mascot, I guess you could say. He's a blue and gold macaw that I got a few months after I opened this place. One of my patrons was moving into the city to take care of his mama and the apartment complex didn't allow any exotic pets. Since the little guy was only a few months old, still fluffy even, I told him that I'd take the bird off his hands and all his drinks in the future would be on the house. I had Tex and Melanie build him a big old cage inside the bar. It's just inside the main entrance to the left. The twins thought that it would be funny to teach him how to speak with a British accent. When they came into work, they would greet him with a, 'good morning, G'uvner', and bar patrons heard them calling him that and the name just kind of stuck." She tilted her glass, pulling the straw out and draining it before holding it out to her side. As Riley went walking by headed back into the bar, she swept it up onto her tray and returned minutes later with it freshly filled and deposited it by Jamie's elbow.

Sam hopped up, touching Mikaela's shoulder, "Hey, I'm going to go see if I can find 'Bee."

"Alright, you want me to come with you?" She asked concernedly, starting to push her seat back, but Sam shook his head.

"Nah, I'll be right back. He can't have gotten far. Be back in a few." He dropped a quick, soft kiss on her lips before pushing his way through the crowd.

He wound his way to the entrance, ducking around bustling servers, catching sight of Mikaela's cousin, Nina and waving. She waved excitedly back as she passed by, a tote full of dirtied dishes hiked on her hip. Apparently good, tanned looks ran in Mikaela's family. Sam found the big bird cage and looked around for 'Bee.

"Hullo, chum."

Sam jumped, his head snapping back around to stare into the cage. A big blue and yellow macaw sat on a branch right in front of him, watching him with its head tilted to the side. When he looked at the bird, it started bobbing up and down, hopping closer to the wire.

"Hullo, hullo, hullo." It chattered at him, tilting its head again and blinking at him.

"Um, hey there," Sam said uncertainly, leaning away slightly when the bird squawked happily and jumped foot to foot when he responded to it. It ruffled its wings and Sam noticed that its feathers had been clipped. That explained the abundant amount of branches and perches spread around the cage. The bird's long tail feathers nearly touched the floor and it was seated on a branch that was about chest height on Sam.

"Care for a spot o' tea, mate?"

"Uh, no thanks, my mother told me not to take tea from strangers," Sam turned away from the bird, who chuckled sadly as he walked away. Sam heard it call as he walked out the door,

"How 'bouts a biscuit?"

"Crazy bird," He muttered, turning sharply as he stepped out onto the front porch and nearly running someone over distractedly. A hand touched his shoulder and a static-y feeling zipped through him. "'Bee!"

The young blonde 'bot smiled at him and Sam noticed that he was wearing nothing but a pair of yellow swim trunks with black horizontal stripes that progressively got wider as they went down.

"What the heck, 'Bee?" Sam gestured to the holoform, who looked down at himself then back up at his friend, smiling sheepishly. He opened his mouth, hands lifting as he went to explain himself when a call from behind him made the little 'bot stop and turn. Sam's mouth dropped open when he peered around 'Bee.

Five bikini-clad, slim girls were running up the beach, one of them with a volleyball tucked under her arm. The one in the lead, a tall skinny blonde girl with a bleach white smile and smoky blue eyes jogged up to the young 'bot and threw her arm around his shoulders while her friend, a flaxen-haired beauty with outlined hazel eyes did the same from the other side. Bumblebee automatically put his arms around their waists and they laughed, hugging him close, "Bee, it's your turn to serve, we're waiting for you."

When 'Bee looked back at Sam, he had the courtesy to blush and look embarrassed. His hands lifted from their hips in a 'what was I to do?' gesture and he smiled lopsidedly at his charge.

"I'm in there, worrying that you might have been kidnapped, and I come out here and turns out I was right!"

The bleach blonde smiled cutely at Sam, wrapping both her arms around Bumblebee's neck and leaning her head against his shoulder, her tone turning seductive, "We didn't steal anything that didn't want to be stolen. You're more than welcome to come and play with us, if you want. We do still need a referee; want to fill in that position?"

Sam's mouth went dry when the rest of the girls flocked to either side of the first two, all leaning in and he found himself facing a wall of scantily clad female flesh. Very, ahem, well put together, scantily clad female flesh. He felt the heat creep up his neck and into his face, "I, um, I-"

"Sorry ladies, but I have to steal these two back," Ironhide stood leaning against the doorframe, his massive arms crossed in front of him as he glowered at both Sam and 'Bee, the pair of which wilted under his harsh gaze, "Sam, Mikaela's waiting for you. I suggest you get your aft back inside." His optics switched to 'Bee, "And you too. Go into the restroom and change your attire back into something more acceptable. We're supposed to be avoiding drawing attention to ourselves."

Bumblebee made a sad little noise and the girls around him gave a collected, 'awwww' and the little scout was engulfed in a group hug, all the girls reluctant to let their new playmate go and inviting him to come back and play with them again whenever he wanted. As they returned back to the volleyball pit, they giggled and flirted with boys and men on the way; by the time they made it back, they had more than enough help to continue their game. When Bumblebee got closer to Ironhide, he made an inquisitive whirl.

"I came out to see what kind of damage that aft did to me."

"What do you mean, 'Hide? Sunstreaker never touched you," Sam stated, puzzled.

"Not my holoform he didn't. Slagger hit me with his fragging door." His scowl grew darker when Sam tried, and failed, to stifle a laugh, "You won't think it' so funny when I hit you, squishy."

Sam quickly skirted around 'Hide's lurking form, grabbing Bumblebee's arm and tugging him in after him, "Come on, buddy, its safe inside. No blood-sucking jock concubines or homicidal old 'bots." He ducked a half-assed swipe from Ironhide. Pausing outside the bathroom while 'Bee revamped his holo, Sam found himself in front of the macaw's cage again.

The bird was pointedly ignoring him.

"What, not going to talk to me now?"

The bird gave him a cold look, "Toss off, mate."

"What did you do to piss my G'uvner off, Sam?" Jamie sauntered up, her high-heels making solid little 'thunks' on the wooden floor. When she approached the cage, the bird made its way quickly over to her, leaning up against the wire, making a strange, happy little trill when she scratched its chest. Jamie smiled at it, "Who's my good boy?"

"Me, me, me, me, meeee," the G'uvner sang, puffing his chest up and stretching his wings out to either side.

"Have you been doing your job?" She asked, smiling when she saw Sam's new interest in the bird.

The G'uvner made the chime of a cash register, followed by what sounded like coins clinking together out of a slot machine, "Makin' lots of money, luv."

"And how do you want your payment, G'uvner?" She reached down onto a small shelf besides the cage, pulling open a small baggie and pulling a piece of dried fruit out.

"Feed me, yah great tosser." Jamie scratched his chest again, sliding the treat between the wires so he could grab it with his foot, "Thanks luv, yer a gem." He blinked at Sam again, before muttering, "Toss off, mate," And chewing on his snack.

Jamie snorted, "Rude bird."

Bumblebee touched the back of Sam's shoulder, making a low whistle of greeting. Jamie's easy smile encompassed them both, "Come on boys, Mikki sent me to herd you back. Don't make me use the cattle prod. Besides, you don't want to miss this."

"What's going on?" Sam questioned, walking behind Jamie as the crowd parted before the owner, calling to her and exchanging greetings.

"We convinced Riley to do one of her standup acts. She's pretty good, too. But she hardly ever does it, says that it's all old material that everyone's heard already. I told her that Mikki's never heard any of her jazz, so I manage to get Mel to cover her tables for a few minutes." Jamie gave her supermodel smile to the trucker who jumped up out of his seat to hold the door open for her. He stumbled over his words and Sam had to smile in sympathy at him. He'd been in that situation a lot lately. "Look what I found, hiding under my porch. It looked so pathetic that I just had to let it in. You can keep it, Mikki, but if it puddles on my floor, I'm beating it with a newspaper."

Mikaela rolled her eyes, pulling Sam back into his chair and wrapping her arm around his waist, "Hey 'Bee," She smiled at the young 'bot, who smiled back and waved, "Where did you disappear off to?"

Sam grumbled under his breath, "The traitor was playing beach volleyball with a bunch of brain-washed jock concubines." He shot a look at his guardian, who made a reproachful whistle, sending him sad puppy-dog eyes, "Oh, stop that, you know that's not even fair…" Sam glanced around the table and was surprised (or rather, not surprised) to see that the female twins had both pulled up chairs to either side of the Autobot twins. Jamie had sat back down in her seat between Mikaela and Optimus, turning her chair to face the stage with one of her feet propped up on the side rung of Optimus' chair. She slouched with one arm hanging over the back of her seat.

Sam was pretty sure she could make a ratty pillowcase look like high fashion.

Riley took the stage, much to the delight of a few bar regulars, who she tipped her cowboy hat to when they cheered from their corner table loudly, "Well howdy there. Been a while since I been up on this stage, but in honor of Miss Mikki being here, I let Mama Bello talk me into talk me into getting up here and saying a piece for y'all." She pulled the mic from the stand, moving the pole out of her way, her cowboy boots thunking hollowly on the raised platform, "So, for y'all who've heard this already, too bad. To those of y'all who haven't, paint me surprised, because ya obviously haven't been here that often." She paused, tipping her head back slightly as she looked around the room, before starting.

"I got kicked out of the South for thinking too much. And askin' questions at all the wrong times; like ever. They ain't fans of that. But y'all know the other reason I got kicked out is because I don't drink sweet tea?"

There was a spattering of groans and 'eww's from around the patio, and the Texan snorted, "Yeah, 'ewww', I know. But there's a good reason why I don't drink sweet tea. It's because I'm an adult and I don't need brown Kool-Aid, that's why. Because I'm a grownup and I can drink somethin' bitter once in a while without going (here Tex adopted a whiney, baby-like voice, which caused some hysteria with her heavy Southern accent, namely from the female twins) I need a Jolly Rancher to swizzle in this, it's too bitter."

She paused to take a sip of her glass of water, "But my thing is I don't drink sweet tea. But if y'all do it and ya like it, knock yourselves out. I'm one of those people who believes, 'if ya like doin' somethin', and it don't affect me, y'all go ahead and do it. But the problem here is, so many people drink sweet tea in this culture that ya can't order plain ice tea ANYwhere in the country. Try it," She turned and pretended like she was speaking to a waitress, mimicking holding a menu in her free hand, "Pardon me, ma'am, but can I get a plain ice tea?"

She turned to face the crowd, a bored, slightly irritated expression on her face as she changed her voice to that of a woman who had been working at a diner for far too many days in a row and the end of her shift was just on the horizon, "Ya mean unsweetened?"

She adopted a vaguely puzzled look, her brows furrowing, before answering, "No. I mean plain."

"No, ya mean unsweetened."

"No, ma'am, I mean plain."

"No, ya mean unsweetened."

"No, I mean plain."

"No, ya mean unsweetened."

Her voice steadily grew, the irritation getting more and more noticeable with each exchange that she portrayed.

"No, I mean plain, because there ain't no such damn thing as unsweetened ice tea. What kind of an asshole sugars a beverage and then takes the sugar back out again? How do ya even do that? Show me this machine that unsweetens the tea, ma'am. How long is this gonna take? How do y'all bitter it back up? Do ya use your personality or what?" She snorted again, laughing dryly, "She didn't take very kindly to that, if you could imagine. So, she goes, gettin' all huffy at me, 'fine, ma'am, fine, you can have 'plain' ice tea. Whatever, gawd." She turned, pretending to call the order in over her shoulder, holding the mic close to her mouth, "Can we get a plain ice tea?" Then whispered, "Unsweetened… I don't know why… I think she's crazy, I already pushed the button for the cops under the thing there, just make it. I'll keep 'er busy."

By this time the whole crowd was giggling, chuckling and some downright howling. The table of regulars in the back where nearly crying into their beers.

She turned back around, bored expression back on, "What size do ya want that, ma'am?"

"Aw, I don't know. I guess I'll have a small, please."

"We don't have small, we have medium and large," the bored voice now had a hint of anger to it; like the waitress was getting tired of dealing with someone she thought was completely incompetent.

Tex dropped her head forward onto the mic, mimicking smacking her head on a table, before perking up with a smartass look on her face, "No ya don't."

"Yes, we do, ma'am, we have medium and large."

"No ya don't, y'all have small and large,"

"No, we have medium and large,"

"No, ya have a small and large, because ya can't have a medium unless you have a small and a goddam large to base it on, ya inbred!" She yelled, throwing her free hand up in the air and stomping her foot. "That's what it means! It's a median between two extremes; it can't exist without the other two, its fuckin' impossible!" She snarled, curling her fingers into a fist like crumpling a piece of paper before pointing an accusatory finger at the invisible cup of tea, "The only way that tea is a medium is if it can talk to the dead!"

She stopped, pulling her hat off her head and fanning herself with it, taking deep breaths. She smiled suddenly, sweeping her arms out to either side of her, crossing her legs at the ankle and taking a bow, "An' that is why I don't drink sweet tea, ladies and gentlemen. Thank y'all, ya've been a great audience, you're wonderful, you're wonderful really. Buy more drinks and tip well, because remember;" She lifted her glass of water and started a toast, which was taken up by all those who knew it, including the other waitresses. Melanie set her tray down on the table next to Ratchet, pouring herself a half glass of water which she lifted, "The carpet's all paid for, God bless the TV. Let's go and shoot a hole in the moon!" At the end, everyone tossed back their drinks, draining them in one go as per tradition. And with that Riley strode off the stage, tossing the mic to the returning singer of the band from earlier, who fumbled for it, tears in his eyes from laughing.

Celia and Sideswipe were supporting each other, leaning together as they howled. Dalia was leaning close in to Sunstreaker, who had his arm around the back of her chair, head tilted in her direction, listening intently as she told him about her escapade a few days earlier involving the Texan and her euphemisms. His slow growing, smoldering grin grew wider and wider as she went on.

Mikaela, Sam and Optimus were watching with growing awe as Jamie drained her enormous glass, which had been filled to the brim with frozen margarita in a single long swallow and people around them began applauding, standing up and cheering her on.

Melanie, in her attempt to remain out of the way of the growing throng of bodies, stepped in closer to Ratchet's chair, crouching down and leaning her arm on the table. She shook her head disapprovingly as a few inexperienced drinkers swayed as the alcohol suddenly hit then and more than a few sprinted for the railings, muttering under her breath, "And of course, do they head for the side over the water? No, they have to vomit into the parking lot, on the gravel. Fabulous. That makes my whole damn day. Like a three ring circus of the demented and disabled sometimes, I swear."

Ratchet sent her a dry, mirthless smile, "Trust me, my dear; I understand how you feel completely."

…..

Wow, that's almost a whole ten pages! I'm impressed with myself here! I felt like I needed to repay Riley back some after having the Bar Twins make fun of her in the second chapter of the story lol so I decided that she deserved a little time in the spotlight as well. That whole part about the menstrual cycle always makes me smile XD And true story, I got to actually use that 'sweet tea' rant in real life! It was when I was driving back to Missouri from Upper Michigan. I had been driving since 4:30 in the morning, on roads that had 3 inches of solid ice on them in two feet of snow while pulling a trailer and it was around lunch time when I decided to stop and eat. It was this little down home diner in the middle of freakin' nowhere and I had THE bitchiest waitress that I can ever remember getting in my entire life. As I had been through an extreme amount of stress for the past eight hours, I wasn't at my best, most shining example of behavior and I kid you not, almost word for word, we had that entire conversation (except for the whole calling the cops thing, but I think she really wanted to do that after I got my tea (which I discovered on my first sip was sweet) and left without paying (she completely deserved it).

I hope you all enjoy my attempt at giving Tex her time to shine, it's one of my favorite pieces, so I hope it turned out alright. Listening to it in my head with her Southern accent made it almost twice as bad lol

Here's Hoping You Won't Burn Me Too Badly,

InvincibleTonight