A great tower rose from the blackness. It was forged from neither stone nor metal, but something that could only loosely be defined as matter. Spikes jutted irregularly from its sides, upon which - in various stages of dismemberment - were impaled the corpses of sinners. At the tower's peak, which resembled a black crown, a single window leaked light from the candlelit room within.

The room had only two occupants, who sat at opposite sides of a round wooden table. On one side sat the robed form of the Angel of Death, the dagger he usually carried in his mouth embedded next to his shot glass. Opposite him sat a huge, muscled figure. His legs were covered in tangled black fur from the waist down and ended in cloven hooves. Red skin stretched taut over a chest and arms bulging with muscles. A rough goatee decorated his brutish chin, tusks poked from his lips, horns erupted from his brow and his eyes were a pitiless black.

The Devil.

"How long hasss it been sssince we ssstarted thessse contessstsss of oursss?" crooned the Angel. Neither side blinked, the battle one of wills as much as skill or luck. "Eonsss at the leassst."

"D'ya have a fuckin' point?" grunted The Devil. "Or is this your way of givin' up?" Though gruff, he sounded far less ominous than the Angel. He was still infinitely more terrifying.

"All I meant," scowled the Angel, who was slightly annoyed that he wasn't playing along. "Wasss that with sssuch hissstory asss we have, thisss isss the firssst time sssuch an event hasss occurred."

The Devil glanced up at him, eyes darkening with hellfire. "Wha' kind of event?"

With relish, the Angel said "Royal ssstraight flusssh."

"FUCKIN' HELL!" shouted The Devil, flinging his cards into the air. They had been playing for fun using the heads of famous sinners as chips, but the loss still burned. He pulled a huge cigar out of thin air and lit it with a snap of his fingers. "I just can't concentrate today. I feel fuckin' awful."

"That'sss your excussse isss it?"

"Fuck off. There's definitely something wrong here." He propped his chin on a clawed hand and took a miserable puff on his cigar. The Angel realized he was being serious. "I mean, don't you feel anything? A kind of… I don't know…"

"Now you come to mention it," murmured the Angel thoughtfully, pausing to take a swing-n-spit from his drink. "It hasss gotten a bit cold all of a sssudden."

For a long moment, The Devil just looked at him. Indeed, it had been so long since he experienced any temperature besides 'apocalyptic inferno' that he'd forgotten what cold felt like. It would explain why only the Angel of Death could put a name to it due to his frequency of the mortal realms. Except…

"How can it be cold in Hell?"

As one, they turned to the window. As mentioned, the tower rose from darkness. Despite what one might think there was truly very little in Hell left unilluminated. The flames of damnation burned without rest, lighting the entirety of the Pit in their glow. It was a standard that had remained since The Devil first carved his realm from the void, but now all was swallowed up by the darkness. With it was brought an all consuming silence, an eerie defiance of the horror it had replaced. Gone was the roar of hellfire, the screams of sinners. If they didn't know better, they would say all but The Devil's palace had ceased to exist entirely.

However, this was The Devil's kingdom. Simply because he wished to see it the Pit became visible. Not only were the flames gone, but any device of torture and any piece of infernal architecture were hidden from view. Everything and everyone, the sum total of Hell itself was buried beneath a wasteland of ice and snow. A colossal, impossible, all-consuming tundra of white.

"The fires are out." It was faintly said, but his monstrous teeth were clamped so tightly it nearly caused the mutual annihilation of his jaws. The tip of his cigar blazed like a star, burning up so quickly it was like the fuse on a dynamite. As it reached his lips there was an explosion; not the cigar, but his breath itself erupted with fire and smoke that belched forth from his throat as he finally screamed in rage. The Angel of Death cowered behind him as the molten fury thundered from his lips. "THE FUCKIN' FIRES ARE OUT! WHAT…" The blaze ceased as he finally calmed down. "...What am I going to do?"

The Devil did the only thing he could do: he went out to find what was wrong with his kingdom. Nothing, NOTHING was supposed to happen there without his express command. 'And yet,' he thought. 'Look at it. I didn't do this. Someone else has done this to my realm.' And yes, he was angry, but then he pondered just what that could mean.

And for a moment he was scared.

The lake of fire that once surrounded his palace was now a smooth icy surface, and as The Devil strode across the eyes of souls trapped beneath watched him go. As he reached land he passed a wheel of torture; the damned men and women upon it frozen in their agony along with the demon who watched them, its visage stuck in a cruel, mocking laugh. Further ahead a sinner was nailed to a cross, his intestines in the hands of two particularly gluttonous beasts. When Hell lived still his guts had grown back as fast as they were removed, devoured endlessly by the pair. Now both were frozen in place, stalactites hanging from the organ as it dangled between them.

It was different, all of it; machines devised for torture had graduated to atrocity. The sinners still screamed in the lake of fire… but for the wrong reason. Everything was wrong, everything was warped and twisted and perverted far beyond what damnation was supposed to be. This left invention behind, replaced it with unstoppable force quite primal in its nature. This was like a storm, a hurricane, a natural disaster against which no hand could be raised.

The Devil had never imagined a Hell as bad as this.

Finally, out where Hell ended and unknown dark began, The Devil found the culprit. He stood listlessly amidst the dunes, the snow completely hiding his tiny legs from view. The child was dressed in rags, blonde, and facing the other way. "Hey! You!" shouted The Devil. "Who the fuck d'you-" The boy turned and met his eye, and for a moment The Devil was lost for words. "...think you are…"

There was no doubt in his mind. The boy was the source of everything.

"Do you- Can you even begin to conceive what you've done? You've put the fires of Hell out! YOU'VE CRIPPLED THE PLACE!" The child just stared a moment longer, then calmly asked:

"An' who might you be?"

The Devil's backhand sent the boy crashing through several frozen towers to be embedded in a wall of ice. Before he could hit the ground the Horned Prince caught up to him, holding him up by the throat. "You little mortal fuck! You cocksucking son of a whore! You worthless pile of faggot's cumridden shit! WHO MIGHT I BE? I AM THE KING OF HELL, AND I WILL EAT YOUR BASTARD'S HEART!" The Devil plunged his claws into the boy's chest… then paused. Ignoring the child's screams, he drew his hand back and watched as the blood froze over his fingers.

He howled with agony, dropping the child and clutching his hand. After breathing hellfire over it for a few minutes the pain ceased, and he allowed himself to look again at the small human.

"How can a mortal's heart…" he croaked. "...Be so cold?"

"I don't know." whispered the boy. "All I can feel is hate."

"But that's what's doing it you fool! That hate has FROZEN HELL!" The Devil was now back on his feet, and was once more in the damned soul's face. "I don't give a good long fuck who you hate or why you hate them but you have to stop!"

"I can't."

"Then by the holy shit of Jesus Christ, I will whip the hatred from your carcass!"

The Saint opened his eyes blearily, shifting on the uncomfortable surface. He was sitting in a wagon drawn by two horses, the transport taking them to the White Tiger. Mei and Chojuro sat in the driver's seat, while he and Hinata sat in the wagon proper. The Harmonixer had her knees drawn up to her chest and her head buried in her arms.

"Are you still brooding?" She didn't respond. "Look, there's really no need to be so embarrassed. It's not that shocking."

"How?" she croaked, still not looking up. "Years of secrecy, and now… and now…"

"Your contacts probably fell out when you pulled that underwater shit with Li Li's monsters." sighed the Saint. He honestly hadn't the first clue why she was so ashamed. "I've known who you were for a long time now anyway."

She peeped up at him. "...Since when?"

"Since you first told me your name." he explained, glad she was feeling a bit better. "Though I had to admit it was hard to believe at first, considering the whole reason you stuck out in my mind was that you used to faint so often."

This was the wrong thing to say, as she immediately withdrew back into herself. Was the fainting thing a sore point?

"Look, it's not that bad!" he said in exasperation. "So what if you're a Hyuuga? So what if we're childhood friends? This could've been a thousand times more awkward! I mean… I mean…" He wracked his brains. "It's not like you had a schoolgirl crush on me or anything, right?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Hinata?"

The wagon trundled abruptly to a halt. "We're here." called Chojuro. Promptly forgetting all else, the Saint hopped to his feet and jogged to the front of the cart. They were parked on a long wooden walkway, wide enough for two people to stand on either side of their vehicle with rope handrails at waist height. Around the walkway grew a veritable jungle of weeds, which the horses were enthusiastically biting into. Ahead of them loomed the temple. It was of a traditional (if unkempt) Xiaolin style, the worn shingled roof like a glowering, judging brow.

No, that was wrong. Though he indeed felt as though the ancient building was watching him the Saint of Killers didn't think he was found either worthy or wanting. There was an… ambivalence about the place. A cool indifference, as though he was but a circumstantial insignificance before antiquity that endured everlasting.

"I used to hear stories about this place as a girl." murmured Mei, somehow managing not to break the mood. "I promised myself I would come here on a pilgrimage the day I became a woman worthy of respect." She meant this in reference to her father. As the adopted daughter of the Water Lord, Mei had had people tripping over themselves to find favor with her ever since she could remember. This was the ultimate goal of her plans for Hinata and the Saint - respect that she had earned with her own hard work.

"Promise fulfilled." She glanced in surprise at the Saint of Killers, who grinned at her from below the brim of his hat. "Trust me. I know these things."

Chojuro smiled proudly.

A low whistle came from their backs as Hinata finally emerged, the pervading atmosphere banishing her lingering embarrassment. "Swanky." she nodded approvingly.

The Saint smiled and shook his head. "This is the Nine Courts of Xiyuan, the Sanctuary of Wuhan and the apex of Nine Heavens magic. 'Swanky' doesn't even begin to cover it."

"Wugui and his cronies aren't here yet." observed Hinata. "No Mist-nin either." Mei and Chojuro exchanged a guilty look. "Don't things seem a little too quiet?"

"Only the inner sanctuary is guarded." shrugged the Saint. "Ignoring Wugui and the Mist, we should go unmolested so long as we're above ground." He strode through the entrance with the others at his heels.

The temple interior had seen no visitors in years. The walls were grey with dust and the air was musty and stale. At the far end of the room sat a wooden shrine, upon it an ornate candlestick that burned with an unnaturally still purple flame. Framing it was a set of small red curtains, and in front of it a stone plinth sat on the ground. On the plinth sat a large, unlit copper lantern. Surrounding the shrine was a short fence composed of delicately painted screens, connected by four smooth granite pillars. There was a gap in the fence directly in front of them to allow access to the shrine, while the floor enclosed was covered in a faded carpet. Outside the enclosure were bare wooden floorboards, stretching to the left and right to corridors unknown.

"This place gives me the creeps." groused Hinata. "Why is there no one here?" She frowned at him in sudden suspicion. "Are you sure this is the right place?"

"Of course I'm sure. I'm not that blonde." The Saint stepped into the shrine area. "Right, now we need the unlocking rites." He stopped thoughtfully in front of the lantern. The other three looked at him expectantly. "...How did that go again?"

His companions slumped at the anti climax. "Dude," sighed Hinata. "You are so blonde."

"What now?" asked Chojuro, who was a little unsettled at how the Saint had begun to stare into the middle distance. "Is… Is he just going to stand there and…"

"He's downloading the information he needs." grunted Hinata. "He does this, occasionally."

"Downloading?" blinked Mei curiously. "From where?"

"Alright!" said the Saint suddenly, making everyone jump. "Got it! Now, stand back for a moment, and-" A scarlet aura erupted from his body and startled the others back. His hands flashed through some ninja looking seals, finally clapping together in the traditional Shinto prayer. His aura blasted off him and swept across the room, a gong hanging on one wall roared without being struck (scaring the life out of them) and the enshrined lantern skidded back on its own to reveal an open trap door, a rough rope ladder leading down into the darkness.

"...That's it?" wondered the Saint. "It was under the lantern? We could've moved that by hand!"

"So the real deal's waiting for us down there, right?" Hinata leaned forward, peering warily into the pit.

"That's right. Let's go."

"Wait!" The pair stopped as Mei stepped forward, fiddling for a moment in the pockets of her smuggler disguise. "I have something for you. You'll probably find them useful."

The Saint of Killers frowned at the odd little device. His knowledge of modern technology was a little outdated due to spending his adolescent years in heaven, but since Hinata was giving her own, identical gadget the same look he assumed it was an uncommon gift to give. "What is it?"

"It's a communication device." smiled Mei, who clearly expected them to be grateful. "Just stick it in your ear and the two of you can talk whenever you're separated. Because it was made in Rain it runs on electricity rather than chakra, but it should last you long enough to meet the Grandmaster."

"The rumors say that there are a maze of catacombs running under the temple." chipped in Chojuro. "If what you say is true and there really is a sanctuary holding the White Tiger then you'll probably have to pass through them to reach it. It'll be easy to split up and get lost, so you'll definitely benefit from the help."

"...Thank you." said the Saint finally, a little surprised by the gift. He placed the doohickey in his ear as Hinata followed his lead.

"Consider it as thanks for saving my ship." smiled Mei.

"More of a boat than a ship." grunted Hinata, and was lightly slapped over the head by the Saint.

"She's giving you a present, Hinata. Don't be rude."

"I'm rude to everyone! Mocking her livelihood pretty much makes her my second favorite person in the world!"

"The first favorite is me, right?"

"Yes… I mean no! I… You… Uh…" Her face lit up as a thought occurred to her. "My favorite is my mom!"

"Boring." snorted the Saint. "You tell a few war stories and BAM- You've been dethroned."

"You were never on the throne to begin with!"

"And besides, my dad is way cooler."

"My mom saved the world!"

"My dad is the Fourth Hokage."

"What!" blurted Mei, but they had already jumped through the trapdoor.

At the bottom of the ladder was a tunnel, roughly hewn from the rock to end at a set of double doors. Each was a perfect rectangle of basalt, the thin gap between them flickering with light. They swung open as the duo approached, revealing a cavern about the size of the average living room. The light came from candles set into nooks in the walls, and two more sets of doors adorned the opposite wall.

"...Well?" said Hinata expectantly. "Which way now?"

"Give it a minute." grunted the Saint.

The ground shivered. Rock dust fell from the walls and clattered eerily across the dirt, while a few stalactites fell with a crunch. Mist began to rise from the ground, which instead of settling began to swirl about the room and gather in a miniature tornado until-

"Meow! Meow!"

For moment, they could only stare.

"...And?" said Hinata calmly.

"'And'? What do you mean 'And'? What kind of reaction is that!" The boy looked to be about ten years old, and only came up to their knees. He was wearing a green silk chinese shirt with white silk pants, barefoot despite the rough ground. His face was oddly evocative of a cat, as was his earlike hair. He drew up his diminutive frame in an attempt to be imposing. "I am Meowster Xiaofang! I am the guardian of this temple!" He paused, then gave them a small wave. "Nice to meet y'all."

"And?" repeated Hinata, who was still wary from the last two catboys who'd pissed her off.

"Meow!" shouted Xiaofang, the very picture of adorable rage. "You dare insult me? I'll kill you!"

"Hey there 'Fang." smiled the Saint. "Talking a lot more now, I see."

The boy immediately perked up. "Whiskers!" he cheered. "It's been so long, meow!"

Hinata cocked an eyebrow. "You know this kid?"

"He's a shikigami made from a common housecat," explained the Saint, ignoring the catboy as he loudly protested the use of the word common. "Tsuji wanted someone to keep an eye on me while he was gone and pulled a favor with Xifa. Apart from Qiuhua, he was the only friend I had my own age." He paused to frown at the little cat. "But for him to be named a Taoist Master, that I wouldn't have guessed."

"Meow? So who's the lady with no manners?" Again, Xiaofang was focused on Hinata. "Is she your girlfriend?"

Usually this would have gotten to her, but the reveal of their childhood past had been so embarrassing that Hinata had very nearly cried. By comparison, this was nothing. "I'm his partner." she said flatly.

"We've come to see Master Xifa," continued the Saint, hoping to head off any potential arguments. "How is the old man anyway?"

"The meowster knew you'd all be here. He told me to welcome you. That's why I'm here, meow!"

"Great!" grinned the Saint of Killers. "Then how about you take us to him."

With the labyrinth in mind, Hinata added: "Using the shortcuts, if possible."

"No way, meow!" shouted Xiaofang, suddenly looking very indignant. "You gotta pass the trials to get to Nirvana Palace!"

"Oh, c'mon 'Fang." sighed the Saint. "We don't have time for the old man's games. If we don't hurry, Danzo's men or the Hidden Mist will get here."

"Some Mist-nin were here already." said Xiaofang helpfully. "They're all dead now, meow! I ain't afraid of no soldiers, meow!"

"As happy-go-lucky as ever, eh?" said the Saint, but he was smiling as he said it. "If you keep going like that, I may have to turn you back into a cat."

"Meow!" squawked the catboy, scrambling to the other side of the room. "You can't cheat! Follow the rules! You have to go through the spiritual trials before you can enter Nirvana Palace, meow!"

"Spiritual Trials?" blinked Hinata, and the Saint glanced her way.

"They're like little tests of nerve." he explained. "They can get rather tricky, though."

"Here in the Nine Courts of Xiyuan," piped up Xiaofang. "From the Samsara Palace further on in there are three sets of catacombs. They are called the Dan Tian Court, the Jiang Palace and the Ni Wan Palace. Meowster Xifa's Nirvana Palace is on the other side. Only one person can challenge any given location. For the first Trial in Dan Tian Court…" The cat lapsed into thought. "...Whiskers will go. The woman waits here, meow!"

"What!" exploded Hinata. "Why the hell him?"

"I'm the one doing the talking here, meow!" sniffed the catboy snootily. He skipped up to the left set of doors and gestured extravagantly. "Meow! Your trial begins!" His body abruptly began to burn with incredible power. It would have been impressive, if it weren't for the enthusiastic cry of: "Meeeooow!" As quickly as it came the aura faded away. Then-

"Huh?" blurted the Saint. He began to scrabble wildly about his hips. "What? What the- 'Fang! What the hell did you do with my guns!"

"No equipment for this test." grinned Xiaofang. The doors swung open. "Meowch luck to you!"

And with one last yowl, he was gone.

"Fuckin' catboys!" screamed Hinata furiously. "I should have killed him on sight!"

"Calm down." sighed the Saint, adjusting his hat. "Xiaofang is a cat. It's in his nature to give fuck all about other people's opinions. The only reason he obeys Xifa is because he'll take away his human form if he doesn't. He's still a good guy." He glanced at her from under his hat, eyes twinkling with amusement. "In terms of personality you're actually very similar."

"What! How could you possibly think that-"

"Can't stay still for more than five seconds? No manners? Doesn't give a damn about the opinions of others? Willing to risk his own life for that of a stranger? Am I ringing any bells?"

"I have never, will never and can never have anything in common with some half pint-"

"Sorry can't hear you." he grinned, ducking through the open doors. "These tunnels have thick walls. Pretty much soundproof." The doors slammed shut behind him.

Hinata scowled and tapped her earpiece. "I can hear you perfectly well dumbass."

"Crappit."

The Dan Tian Court was nowhere near as grandiose as its name would suggest. It was simply a blank, featureless network of catacombs extending in an endless labyrinth in all directions. If the Saint hadn't been able to talk to Hinata he would have probably been very bored indeed.

"You know what we should have done?" declared the Saint, flinging his hands in the air at yet another dead end. "We should have packed lunch boxes. Of course this wouldn't have gone smoothly. Nothing does. We're bringing snacks on every trip from now on."

"I've just thought of something." Hinata's voice was fairly crackly over the com, but he still heard her well enough. "Why are we even here? I mean, the old fogey who runs this place seems to be doing a decent job of keeping Byakko safe."

"Xifa is just one man." said the Saint. At a four way fork, he took the inner left. "The White Tiger hasn't been here for very long, so any forces sent to retrieve it will have been scouting parties at best. A determined enough troupe of jonin or Yamaraja could probably make it through on their own. Especially once they realized how resistant a major god is to heavy firepower, since then they can just nuke the place without worrying about damaging it."

"Just what the hell is a Yamaraja anyway?" Hinata groused. "Are they demons or youkai or… or magic construct whatevers?"

"I'm actually not sure." A tentacled horror emerged from the shadows, and was promptly obliterated by a wave of holy energy. "I asked the Big Guy once when I was bored, but he wouldn't say. I'm not sure if he has faith in my abilities to handle the problem on my own or just has a really strong sense of fair play. The Book of Exodus makes me believe the latter."

"I think it's the former. I mean, if he's omniscient then wouldn't that mean he already knows whether we'll succeed or not?"

"I'm not sure if he is omniscient." admitted the Saint. He arrived at the end of a long, curved tunnel and ducked through an archway, which probably meant he was moving in the right direction. "If only because an omniscient person probably wouldn't be able hold a decent conversation."

On the path ahead, something stirred. The dirt moved as something burrowed sinuously beneath it, winding just below ground towards the unsuspecting explorer. The Saint kept walking obliviously as the assassin drew closer and closer, until-

The Saint looked down. An enormous red snake had leapt out of the ground directly beneath him. The attack was probably intended to swallow him from below, and indeed the length its jaw had stretched should have easily accommodated his waist. However, since the Saint had been taking a step forward at the time it had ended up swallowing his leading leg, fangs scraping uselessly against the impenetrable flesh of his thigh. He just stood there and looked at it for a moment, then carried on walking. Each step made an unpleasant squish as he trod on the snake's guts, as it was either too stubborn or too stupid to let go.

Two hours of bored chatter later and the Saint had finally reached the end of the maze. An altar lined with unlit candles arrayed around a dimly glowing red jewel sat at the end of the tunnel. As he approached it, the Saint realized with no small embarrassment that he had no idea what to do next.

"So, uh, do I just-"

"Poke it."

"What?"

"Poke it." repeated Hinata. "It worked in Wave. Poke it. Poke it like nobody's business!"

The Saint poked it.

It exploded.

"Holy hell!" thundered the Saint, spiraling through the air to crash against the opposite wall. The shattered gem continued to spew flames out of the smoke, the inferno swirling about the room and coalescing into a floating horror. The torso was covered in bulky red armor, a yin-yang symbol emblazoned on each breast. A total of six clawed arms extended from its sides, and a bony tail hung in place of legs. There was no head, just a massive, desiccated human hand. The aloof, forward facing palm would not have been out of place on a Buddha statue, the holiness of the likeness desecrated by the dark, rotted skin.

The Saint's knees almost buckled as he suddenly leaned over and vomited. With the last of his willpower he erected a fragile shield of holy energy, forcing back the burning arms that materialized from nowhere. It was like the walls of his stomach had turned into rotating blades, and when it finally ran out of things to expel (long after he began dodging the fire-arms) he continued to dry retch helplessly.

"Saint!" he heard Hinata scream. "Are you okay?"

"Fuck-" He gagged, and had to start again. "Fuckin' Xifa!"

It was the second symptom that clued him in. If the hell in his gut weren't bad enough his bones had begun to scream, the pain so bad it was like they were being cut into with knives. It was the real reason he was dodging the arms: they had no chance of hurting him, but the pain when they jostled his insides made him black in and out of consciousness.

It was the final clue he needed. The monster's name was Xieshi. It hadn't moved, floating where it appeared as the burning arms continued to assault him from all directions. He created a floating disk of holy energy to hold him above the onslaught (it appeared the creature needed a solid surface from which to project the limbs) and began to chant.

"Sorenius." Droplets of light began to appear around the room, the flames pushed back by the aura. "Sorenius!" They began to drift together, forming into a single large orb in his hands. "SORENIUS!"

They orb burst into a stream of liquid light, flowing into the Saint's mouth, nose and eyes. At the other end of the room Xieshi began to writhe with pain, emitting an odd, keening wail that didn't make sense considering its lack of a mouth. It slowly began to fade, until it was like it was never there to begin with. With a sigh, the Saint let his platform disappear; he allowed himself to crash limply to the floor, the pain in his bones and gut replaced by blessed relief.

"Saint?" Hinata continued to scream. "Saint? Are you okay? Saint!"

"M'fine." he mumbled. "The fight… just took… a lot out of me."

"What the hell were you up against?"

"Xieshi." he gasped, still prostrate on the ground. "In traditional Taoism… it's one of three insects… that live in the body… it tears the gut… and twists the bone…"

"And it hurt you?" blinked Hinata. "I… I thought-"

"That I was invincible?" croaked the Saint. "'Fraid not. I come close though."

"And there are two more?" From her position back at the entrance, Hinata suddenly leapt to her feet. "Does that mean they'll be at the end of the last two trials?"

"Probably."

"Definitely!" Xiaofang's voice echoed out of nowhere, scaring the life out of them. "The Dan Tian Court has been cleared! Now unlocking the Jiang Palace!" Before Hinata's eyes the second set of doors opened, rumbling ominously as they did so. "And now for your handicap! Meow!"

For moment Hinata just stood there, wondering what he'd done. "What the-" As she felt the lack of two distinct energies within her, a sense of panic began to rise in her chest. "My fusion souls! My chakra! You sealed my abilities you little shit!"

"Yup!" chorused the cat cheerfully. "Good luck with that."

And he was gone.

"Fuckin' catboys!" roared Hinata, flinging her hands in the air. Back in Dan Tian Court the Saint of Killers had finally remembered the snake attached to his leg, and was in the process of peeling it off. "Why is it always catboys?"

"He's, like, the third catboy we've bumped into." grunted the Saint. "It's hardly a recurring theme."

"Yeah yeah." grumbled the Harmonixer. She stumped bad-temperedly through the portal. Jiang Palace was populated by zombified Mist-nin, who she violently dismembered during breaks in the conversation. "So. This monster-"

"Xieshi." nodded the Saint, then felt foolish when he remembered she couldn't see him. "It has two siblings, Qinggu and Baigu. The former lives in the head and causes anxiety, suspicion and hallucinations. The latter lives in the heart and causes depression and shortness of breath."

"If they're small enough to live in our bodies then how did you fight one?"

"They're a conceptual existence more than anything." he shrugged. "A folktale. Y'know, from before Tsunade came along and made modern medicine her bitch. Xifa manifested Xieshi using an avatar with a buddhist palm theme. Didn't seem to do it much good, frankly."

"I understand what you mean by avatar," frowned Hinata. "But how can he summon something that doesn't exist?" She grimaced, queasily brushing from her coat pieces of a Mist-nin she hit too hard.

"That's what Taoist magic is all about, using totems and symbolism to manifest natural energy in certain ways. Ninja can use something similar called senjutsu, but ultimately it's just an imitation. Natural energy is converted into nature chakra; there are a lot of Taoist arts that stay beyond their reach, but at least some of it they can use."

Hinata's brow furrowed in concentration. She could afford too, because she had butchered everything for a fifty meter radius. "So Taoism uses natural energy the way ninjutsu uses chakra, while senjutsu is ninjutsu using natural energy? Then what do you call it when someone uses chakra in Taoist magic?"

"Onmyoudo. As powerful as senjutsu, and just as difficult. Mixing the art forms is frustrating and time-consuming, but well worth it. People who use Taoist magic, like Xifa and Xiaofang, are called adepts. That's why sages are sometimes called 'ninja with the power of an adept' while onmyouji are called 'adepts with power of a ninja'. Danzo isn't a hugely amazing ninja, so people call him a 'warlock with the power of an adept' because of how good he is at black magic."

"So someone who uses black magic is a warlock, and someone who uses white magic is a… priest?"

"Cleric."

"Right. So what would you call the Third Hokage? He studied under Xifa too right?"

"There is no name." said the Saint flatly. "He can use divine energy, demonic energy, natural energy and internal energy freely, and mixes them at will. He is far, far more dangerous than anyone realizes."

Hinata blinked. She tried to imagine how powerful he must be. She failed. "Could he beat "Hashirama?"

"No." There was something frightening in the certainty of his response.

"Could you?"

"Already tried." he grunted. "Met him in heaven. I… I managed to put my hand on one gun before he took me out."

"How did he do it?"

"I don't know." he admitted quietly. "But it was the most terrifying thing I've ever experienced. Like the only effort he exerted was the effort it took not to kill me. I'm pretty sure I have some kind of weakness, because everything does, it's just that I've never figured it out. Hashirama knows, the Big Guy knows, and I suppose Xifa knows as well." He didn't elaborate further. Hinata waded through the remaining undead in silence until she reached the next shrine. It looked exactly the same as the previous one, except the stone glowed white instead of red.

"Alright." nodded Hinata. "What should I expect here?"

"Psychological warfare. Both remaining insects specialize in it. Xieshi was the only one capable of actual damage, and Xifa placed him first. Since all I had was my abilities I think the real test was to figure out how to get rid of it. Now that they've been taken away I think we're supposed to muscle through in terms of pure willpower."

"That's my specialty!" grinned Hinata cheerfully. Ignoring all warnings to prepare herself first she slammed one fist into the gem, back-flipping away and landing gracefully on her feet when it exploded.

The new creature was a pale white, with a sagging, protruding gut and manta-like wings for arms. As with Xieshi the neck led into an erect hand, covered all over in eyes. Below the waist hung a grotesque, wrinkled sack of flesh (also covered in eyes) and below that was a long, white-

"Penis!" screamed Hinata, and immediately attempted run away. The Saint's earpiece crackled painfully as she slammed into a wall, which had dropped down to block the exit as soon as she touched the altar.

"A pe… What?" blinked the Saint, then in a louder tone: "Xiaofang? Is she telling the truth?"

"Er…" the voice echoed back uncertainly. "I'm not sure. I mean, it has something that looks kind of phallic in the right light, but nothing worth-"

"Rape! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!"

"-Completely freaking out over."

The Saint of Killers stared thoughtfully into space for a few moments - Hinata still screaming incoherently - then asked quietly: "Hinata? Which of us is more awesome?"

"How could I ever be awesome?" moaned Hinata. "I'm just a failure who can't use her own family style properly. I was never a real heiress for the clan-"

"Depression." nodded the Saint of Killers. "That's Baigu you're dealing with."

"RAAAAAAAAAAAPE!" screamed Hinata, who had actually forgotten during her rant.

"Great, meow. You've set her off again." sighed Xiaofang.

"Is it even attacking her?"

"In a certain sense, meow. Rather meow, the psychological challenge is the whole point of the test."

For a moment the Saint just sat there, listening to Hinata's sobs. "...Hinata. Can you hear me?"

"Yeah, I-"

"Good. Now, I need you to be very quiet and listen to what I say, alright?" He didn't wait for a reply. "You need to realize that what you're feeling is being caused by the monster in front of you. If you just-"

"But it isn't!" wailed Hinata. "I always known, always realized, always understood that I'd never be good enough." The Saint realized that a lot of these insecurities were real. They had been bottled up for years, and now were pouring out in a flood. "I'm a failure and I always have been! I'm a failure as a Hyuuga, a failure as a Harmonixer and a failure as my mother's dau-"

"SHUT YOUR FUCKING FACE!"

The other end of the communicator lapsed into shocked silence. In all honesty, the Saint shocked himself.

"...You're not just a Hyuuga, Hinata." the Saint continued quietly. "And you're not just a Harmonixer either. You're… You're…" He placed one hand over his eyes, sighing awkwardly. "You're really cool."

"...What?"

"I mean," the Saint rushed on. "You're so honest, and strong, and insane. Seriously, you'd have to be to stick with me this long. When I told my life story it was because I was expecting you to abandon me. I'm a murderer. A remorseless one, at that. When an assassin wishes for luck before killing a child, I'm the one that hears it. But you stuck with me and sympathized with me and let me into your life. How you can bear to walk my path is beyond me. I can barely do it and I'm immortal! You're mortal, but you fight and you fight and you win, and when you don't win you endure and you persevere and you come out in one piece, and you may be bruised and you may be bloody but you're alive and strong and unyielding. And that… that's not a kind of strength I have."

The other end of the line was silent. He soldiered on.

"I know about your pendent, and that it changes color as your body accumulates Malice. I know that you fight monsters in your dreams to wipe it away, I know that you fight them every night to make sure they don't get too strong and I know that they've been getting stronger anyway. I know that sometimes you fight monsters that aren't born from Malice but from yourself, and I know they become fusion souls when you win. I know that you know that I know. But what I don't think you know is that no matter what you go through, whether in dreams or in life, is that I'll always be here for you. I'll always help you, always support you, always catch you as you stumble. Because I know when I stumble, you'll catch me. You're my partner, my comrade and my friend. My only friend. That's who you are. You're more than just a Hyuuga, more than just a Harmonixer and more than just your mother's daughter. You're Hinata."

He took a deep breath, now free of shame. "I believe in you, Hinata."

"Meow!" shouted Xiaofang suddenly. "Baigu has been defeated! Jiang Palace is complete!"

"Huh?" blinked the Saint. "Seriously?"

"Meow!" confirmed Xiaofang. "The woman has purged the insect from her system. The second trial is complete and Ni Wan Palace is open, meow!" To the right of Xieshi's altar a section of wall slid away, apparently revealing the third test. Yet more catacombs then.

"Hinata!" blurted the Saint. He hopped to his feet urgently. "Are you alright? Hinata?"

Back in Baigu's room, Hinata sat with her back to the wall and her knees drawn to her chest. It was a good thing she'd lost her contacts, or else the tears would be fucking with them something terrible. "Yeah." she croaked. "I'm okay."

At the other end of the line, the Saint of Killers sagged with relief. "Oh, thank God." There was pause. "No… No… No!" He began waving his fists in the air angrily. "Dammit 'Fang! First my guns and now my magic too?"

"For the final stretch, both restrictions apply." responded Xiaofang. "Not to worry though, meow. The challenge is strictly non-violent."

"Saint?" This was Hinata again, in that same terribly fragile tone of voice. She wracked her brain for something less lame than 'I want to hear your voice'. "...What was my mother like? Tell me about her… even if it's only a little." The Saint paused halfway to the new passageway, giving her his full attention. "I only really remember her working around the clan gardens, and the fox mask she bought me at the Nine-Tails' festival."

There was a long silence. "She was really cool." The Saint began to smile, and resumed walking. "Do you know how I wound up meeting her? Back then she was just a foreigner with bad self-preservation skills, so I didn't trust her right off the bat. We argued now and then, like I do with you, but she'd always laugh it off afterwards. She was like you, always rallying against any injustice, even if it meant turning on her own country. She didn't fight for any one group of people, she fought for everyone on the continent. She had this… this idea." The Saint's smile faded as nostalgia overtook him. "An idea of a truly good world, built with her own two hands. Yeah, she knew it was impossible. But if there was ever something worthy of an impossible effort, it was that idea."

At last, a shaky smile found its way onto Hinata's face. "So she really was everything people say she was?"

"That and more." The Saint stopped before another door made of rock. He suddenly wondered how the monks who built this temple manage to open them all, especially with all the fasting and meditation doing damage to their fitness. "I'm at the end. The only one left is Qinggu."

"Good luck." smiled Hinata. "Kick ass in there."

"Will do." The Saint pushed the door open and stepped on through.

The walls were made of dark, damp stones built by human hands, nothing like the catacombs he was used too. Murky water lapped at his ankles, and the sounds of dripping echoed all around him. With a moment's focus, he realized that he could see no falling water nor locate the sound's direction. It was phantasmal, omni-directional, and indescribably maddening. In front of him were a set of immense, rusted steel bars. This was not the shrine he was expecting. It was a sewer.

"Oh," murmured the Saint. "I remember you."

From the darkness within the cage, a point of red light began to shine. It began to extend both upwards and downwards, and almost immediately after it ceased its growth it began to thicken. It broadened further and further until it was revealed as two lines, connected at their top and bottom and stretching apart at the middle. As the gap between them widened it bared to the air a misty yellow film: in it's center was a colossal pupil. A pupil, for this was an eye, immense and malevolent and nostalgic.

The Saint of Killers tipped his hat respectfully. "Kurama."

"Murderer who wears the crown of death." said the eye. "Do you resent your role? Your place in the universal machine?"

Atop his head, the Saint's hat became a wreath of barbed wire, the little swords drawing blood from his forehead. "I do not."

"Killer who wears the mantle of cruelty." said the eye. "Do you regret your past? Your sins? The blood on your hands?"

"I do not." The Saint's coat was now a ragged shawl sewn from human skin, still decorated by faces rendered shapeless by the lack of bone behind them. "My past has molded by present, has foretold my future. There are no regrets. Only shame."

"Loathe'ed Saint. Grey Angel." said the eye. "Do you fear the endless path ahead? Do you fear the loneliness? The emptiness? Do you fear the battlefields, bloodshed and slaughter over which you hold sovereignty?"

The Saint's skin had become bronze, his hair silver, his eyes jewels of half-reflective glass. Wings made of fire the color of copper lifted him gently off the ground, and the blood drawn forth by his crown had become ichor of purest white. This was his true nature. Not the Saint of Killers, but the Angel of Death. The true Angel of Death. "I do not." whispered the Angel. "I chose this. I knew the consequences, even if I didn't fully understand. I'm not afraid."

Red and orange light burned away the darkness, taking the cage with it. Around the eye formed a massive vulpine face. The Fox reared back, its immense body framed by its nine thrashing tails. As it drew one claw back to strike, the scenery changed to the second floor of an unknown building. The roof had been torn away, which was what kept the Nine Tails visible, and beside him sat a wooden crib. Within the crib slept his tiny, infant self. With an ear shattering scream the demon lunged, the Angel just watching calmly. Two figures jumped between them, impaled together by the talon. One was was male, with short blonde hair. The other was female, her hair long and red. He knew who they were, even if he couldn't see their faces.

"I was aware that you two were the most awesome parents to ever live." sighed the Angel, smiling as he said it. "But there are limits."

"Ungrateful brat." grumbled the man. The woman giggled.

"When you were born, I thought that trading our lives for yours was totally worth it." Her voice held only fond nostalgia. "I was right."

The couple disappeared, and the scenery changed to a ruined, burning street. The Nine Tails was ignoring him and tearing up the scenery. A scream echoed from his left. A younger version of the man that killed him was digging through a heap of rubble, tears and snot pouring down his desperate face. His efforts were gradually unearthing the corpse of a woman, who could have been his sister, his friend or his lover. The Angel stepped up behind him.

He knew this was not the man that had ruined his life. That man was born after years of hate, grief and resentment twisted this person until they were a deformed mockery of the original. This man was just a normal young man, who had just seen the one they loved most killed in front of them. The Angel rested his hand on the crying man's shoulder.

The man turned to face him. The Angel had seen few things more heartbreaking than the look in his eyes. As the man began to cry he placed his arms around his shoulders, letting him bawl into his chest. Again the scenery shifted, and now he was in the apartment he had lived in as a child. The sobbing man had also changed, and now the Angel was holding his eight year old self. Little Naruto looked up at him, blue eyes clouded with tears.

"Why did Captain Tsuji leave?" he asked miserably. "Does he hate me?"

"Of course not." murmured the Angel. He stroked the boy's hair gently. "The Captain has worries and responsibilities of his own. He wanted to leave you about as much as you wanted to leave him. He did it because he had no choice."

"Then what about Mr Zhen?" The boy began to sob. "What about Xiaofang and Qiuhua? What about Yuri?" With a voice that must have hurt to leave his throat, he screamed: "WHY DID EVERYONE LEAVE ME?"

"Because they had to." whispered the Angel. "Sometimes people have responsibilities that mean they can't always be there for their loved ones. Sometimes they need to make sacrifices. You were that sacrifice."

"But they left me alone. I died alone."

"But you didn't live alone, at least not always. You still had the old man, and Ichiraku Ramen. Besides, they-"

"What about Hinata?" The Angel lapsed into silence. "Will she leave us?"

"...Yes." said the Angel finally. "Hinata is powerful, even for a Harmonixer, but she's still human. One day she'll get old, or sick, or pick a fight with the wrong person. She'll die, and you won't." There was a long pause. The Angel was no longer paying attention to the child in his arms. "I won't try to pretty it up, and I won't try and make you feel better about it. One day Hinata is going to leave and she's never, ever going to come back. But you know what?" The Angel rose to his feet. The child had disappeared. "I don't care." His mantle returned to the form of a coat. "I chose this." His crown became a hat. "I have no regrets." His skin became flesh. "I am the Saint of Killers."

"You have become strong."

The Saint smiled, then turned around. "It's been a long time, Captain."

Tsuji pursed his lips, eyeing him up and down. "You know, when I taught you marksmanship it was not with the intention of turning you into a cowboy."

"I didn't pick these. They were made for me when I took the job."

"By who?" scowled Tsuji. "With the way they bare your chest you could pass for an American prostitute."

"It was the previous Angel, the Shinigami." said the Saint, trying not to laugh at that last remark. "Though, all things considered, that might be what he was aiming for. We're not on speaking terms."

"Hmph." A smile was working its way across his stern old features. "It is good to see you again."

"You too." nodded the Saint. The words seemed to release a weight he hadn't known he was carrying, and his shoulders relaxed imperceptibly.

"...About what you were saying before." Tsuji spoke slowly, as though he wasn't sure how to bring this up. "This Hinata girl may be staying with you longer than expected."

He got a blank look in return. "...What?"

"The power of a Harmonixer is to fuse with the souls of demons to change their shape, and given your close proximity I'm sure you've noticed that these souls are usually formed from the spirit and emotions of their master." Tsuji was now noticeably avoiding his gaze. "However, they may also fuse with actual demons... or even a god."

"The Demon's Gate Invocation." breathed the Saint of Killers. "You're talking about the god Danzo is trying to summon." He paused and blinked. "Wait, is this a Divine Revelation? Am I having a vision of the future?"

"It is, and you are." nodded Tsuji. "Qinggu has always been one of the more spiritual entities in Taoism. The hallucinations it causes are often used to enter a similar trance-like state."

"Wait, so does that mean the future is set in stone?" The Saint's whole body had gone cold. "Hinata is… like Yuri…"

"No." said Tsuji flatly. The Saint almost collapsed with relief. "There are currently two possible roads the future can take. The first possibility is if Hinata can suppress the god's will, in which case she will acquire the powers of divinity and deicide for herself. Alternatively she will be possessed, and you will have to do to her what I did to her mother."

"I have to kill Hinata? I have to- What? No! Fuck no!" The Saint of Killers had never spoken so disrespectfully to the Captain in his life. Even his immense regard for the man was blunted by his shocked anger. "I can't kill Hinata! She's my… I…"

"It appears we are out of time." interrupted Tsuji. "You had already passed Qinggu's test by the time you began your revelation. It is time for you to wake up."

The Saint's eyes widened. "What? But I still-"

"Naruto." said Tsuji, and the Saint immediately went quiet. Tsuji smiled melancholically. "I'm very proud of you, you know that, right?" He extended one hand for the Saint to shake. After a long pause he took it, offering a wobbly smile in return. "See you soon."

"Wait, what-?" The room faded away. The Saint of Killers was in an altar room identical to the previous two, and the hand he was holding was now pale blue. It was attached to the back of a second much larger hand, which was slightly darker than the first, which in turn emerged from the floor. From the index and little fingers spread a pair of feathery azure wings, beating slowly and causing a soft breeze to circulate the room. The Saint curiously looked at it - at Qinggu - for a few more seconds before letting go. It faded from view. "Whew," sighed the Saint. "Glad that's over with."

He raised his voice. "'Fang! We passed your goddamn trials! Get the hell out here!"

Mist swirled about the room in the dramatic tornado effect that preceded Xiaofang's favored form of teleportation. "Meow! Meow!" A hidden door swung open on one side of the room. After a few moments a confused Hinata poked her head through. "I'm impressed, meow. I didn't think passing the trials with only two people was possible, meow."

"You have no grounds to deny us further." said the Saint flatly. "Take us to the old man."

"Of course meow!" nodded Xiaofang. Hinata quietly edged up to the Saint's side. "I'll open the door to Nirvana Palace now. Hold on." He turned to face a random patch of wall. "Meow! Meow! Meow! Um… MEOW!" He grinned at them cheerfully as yet another hidden door swung open. "Head on in. The Meowster awaits!"

For a long moment the two of them stared flatly at the door. It had been a long, emotionally draining night for them both. "Hinata?"

"Yeah?"

"No matter what happens, I'm always going to be your friend." He paused. "Forever." Another pause. "Until I die." He trudged awkwardly through the door to Nirvana Palace. It was a shame he didn't bother to check her reaction, or else he may have actually realized that she loved him.

Oh well.

Above ground in the abandoned temple, Mei and Chojuro were getting bored. Mei was leaning on the wooden fence bordering the temple's rock garden (beautiful even under her disguise) while Chojuro was pacing nervously back and forth. She would have already forgotten he was one of the greatest swordsmen in the world if he hadn't saved her life once already.

"They certainly are late." he mumbled.

"Indeed." said Mei, tossing him a glance as she did so. "Perhaps Ao was right about them. Perhaps they failed."

"That can't be." said Chojuro immediately. "I put my faith in them to the end."

This made Mei smile. "Ironic, isn't it? I find myself rooting for the enemy. I wonder why? They're so reckless… yet somehow I envy them."

Chojuro was about to respond when he detected three chakra signatures swiftly approaching their position. He quickly darted protectively in front of his superior, his massive sword - the Hiramekarei - appearing in his hand. He stepped respectfully aside, however, when they came to a halt in front of him.

"My lady. Ao, reporting."

Mei smiled coyly. "That was fast. What happened to the others?"

"I have twenty men hidden nearby." said Ao. "If something happens, they'll be ready. How is the situation, my lady?"

"There shall be no movement for now. Please wait a little longer."

"Understood." Ao bowed sharply at the waist, then dragged a surprised Chojuro away by the arm. Mei raised one eyebrow quizzically, but let them go. "Don't take your eyes off Lady Terumi." muttered Ao. "The council is up to something."

"Up to something?" blinked Chojuro. "Why? What do you-"

He was unable to finish before Ao pulled away. "I'm counting on you, Swordsman." Chojuro just watched nervously as the one eyed man marched away, then-

"Chojuro!" hissed Mei suddenly. "They're about to reach the White Tiger!"

In the catacombs beneath the Nine Courts of Xiyuan, a small room was lit by candles. The only furniture consisted of two sleeping rolls and a table, on which lay only a few scrolls and a plate of obscure fruits. In front of the table stood an incredibly old man: he was barefoot, and wearing black pants with an orange chinese shirt, on the back of which was a faded ying-yang symbol. A paper talisman was plastered to the side of bald, wrinkled head; with it, he psychically controlled the goings-on of the catacombs.

"Meowster, I'm back!" shouted Xiaofang excitedly, almost tripping over himself as he ran into the room. "I brought those two idiots with me too!"

The old man turned around, smiling benevolently. "Welcome, o' Saint of Killers. And Yuri's daughter, welcome to you too."

"Yo." nodded Hinata, the duo entering far more calmly than their guide. "So you're Master Xifa?"

"The very same." The ancient man examined her carefully, his smile dropping. "And you're Hinata? Like mother like daughter, it seems. You both carry a heavy burden." His smile returned. "At any rate, welcome. I've been so bored lately; today's trials were quite a pleasant change." Hinata felt like she should take offense to this last remark, but remembering some of the things the Saint said to her made her so warm and gooey inside that she felt it had all been worth it. "I'll give you back your powers and equipment now."

There was a sense of change, and the Saint began to grin. "Completion." he sighed, patting his guns happily. "Anyway, not that it doesn't rock to finally meet you, Master Xifa, but we really need to get you out of here. This place isn't safe."

Xifa gave a short bark of laughter. "I don't care how strong Danzo is. He's not getting through this seal so easily. Just as I cannot leave it, nor can he enter." He began to stare unsettlingly into the Saint's eyes. Hinata felt another old man sex joke coming on. "Ah, so you're the blue eyed prophet I've heard so much about. My, you do have an incredible power, don't you? No wonder Danzo is drooling over you."

Hinata opened her mouth. "Don't!" warned the Saint, and she closed it again disappointedly.

"If he had you, his Valorization may actually succeed." continued Xifa. The Saint of Killers hurriedly tuned back in.

"My… grandfather," began the Saint, because that was what he called Tsuji around people that that didn't know him. "Lost his life protecting me from a man with similar plans in a far away country." The confession broke something in him, something that had been weakened by the trials. "Why do people like Danzo… why do they keep… keep trying to…"

"Simple." said Xifa. He gave the blonde an understanding, grandfatherly smile. "Because they believe they are superior." Xifa began to pace, withered hands clasped behind his back. "But are the children of humans not humans themselves? Motivated by scorned pride, they sacrifice many victims to the idol of revenge. Truthfully, I don't believe Danzo has fully considered how the Demon's Gate Invocation might change the world. Of course, I don't know what would happen either, but it must be stopped." The old man paused, eyelids fluttering. "Oh, I almost forgot. There's something I wanted to give you. Xiaofang?"

"Meow?" Xiaofang perked up, having tuned out most of the dialogue thus far.

"There's a votive picture tablet of the White Tiger on the back shelf. Please fetch it for me."

"Meow! Fetch it yourself ya lazy old fart!"

"Don't sass me boy!" barked Xifa, his grandfatherly demeanor melting like ice. "Get the goddamn Tiger!"

"No!" pouted Xiaofang, sitting on the floor and folding his arms.

"Do it, you little shit, or I swear to god I'll turn you back into a cat and cook you for dinner!"

"Mm… Cat." Hinata and the Saint said this in unison. Not because they particularly liked eating cats, but more because they had the same sense of humor.

"Meow! Anything but that!" screamed Xiaofang. He ran to perform his errand with such enthusiasm he crashed face first into a wall, nearly knocking himself out.

"Frickin' catboys." muttered Xifa. Slightly cross eyed, Xiaofang picked himself up and tried again.

"This guy is my new hero." declared Hinata. The Saint cocked an eyebrow.

"Am I allowed to tell your mother that next time I'm in Heaven?" Hinata went pale.

"No! Don't tell her tha-"

The ground shook suddenly, and everyone in the room stumbled in shock. After a few seconds there was another, much stronger tremor that sent fragments of stone falling from the ceiling. Xiaofang (who had been returning with the picture) went tumbling to the ground with a loud "Meeeooow!"

"What the crap!" croaked Master Xifa. "The Trials may have caused the barrier to become slightly weakened, but… but it still cannot… cannot…"

"Is it Danzo?" barked Hinata, dropping into a battle stance.

"No." whispered Xifa. "Even Danzo isn't this powerful. This… This must be-"

"Meow!" screamed Xiaofang suddenly. He began to thrash and writhe on the ground, yowling in pain. "M-meowster! H-help…" Disturbingly quickly, he went still. As the three standing hesitated to help him, he abruptly began to float into the air. He hung, rotating around his center of gravity until he was the right way up, then was lowered to the ground. When he opened his eyes next, Xiaofang sneered. "Old snake. I didn't need your help."

"That voice!" snarled Hinata, dropping back into her stance. "Tiny!"

"Danzo!" corrected Danzo angrily, his raspy old man voice seemingly incredibly out of place on the short catboy. "I refuse to be addressed by that insipid nickname!"

"Fine then." growled the Saint of Killers. "We'll stop calling you Tiny when you stop possessing prepubescent household pets. Sound fair?" His hands were hovering over his guns, but he had no idea what to do with them. That was his oldest friend who was being possessed, and Danzo had clearly gone out of his way to do so using an obscure form of ninjutsu: something no one in the room was familiar with.

Danzo noticed his hesitation and smirked, turning to face the old man. "Long time time no see, Master Xifa. I've finally made it inside your seal."

"Don't ignore me!" snarled the Saint, and boy did it feel weird to be on the other side of that sentence. "What the hell have you done with Xiaofang, bastard!"

"Who cares about the cat when I have this!" smirked Danzo. The votive picture (still in Xiaofang's hands) was raised briefly above his head before disappearing with the same bizarre lightning effect as Danzo's personal teleportation technique.

"Saint of Killers!" said Xifa suddenly. "Help me seal the temple! Even if it's only for a few moments, his body will die without its-"

"Ha! I'll bring this temple down around your heads before you can!" Xiaofang's body erupted with light, and a sudden shock wave knocked them all off their feet. Chunks of stone were stripped away as the blast hit the ceiling. Ignoring Hinata and Xifa (who had been knocked out by the attack) the rocks flew through the air towards the Saint, burying the immortal beneath a heap of rubble. Not for the first time, he wished super strength were one of his abilities. The green of Xiaofang's shirt flashed past his vision as the catboy dropped like a puppet with severed strings. There another flash of contained lightning, signifying Danzo's arrival.

"What a pathetic place this is. Master Xifa, you thought I'd be as weak as I was twenty years ago?" He sneered at the unconscious old man. "Fool." He hobbled over to the Saint, leering creepily through his bandages. "Beautiful. I have been waiting so long for this moment."

"Screw you, pervert!" shouted the Saint, then immediately winced at his own choice of words. "I like boobs, and not your kind."

"Ah," nodded Danzo, looking strangely calm considering how quickly he usually reacted to taunts. "This is where you distract me with jibes while muttering an incantation under you breath. Can't have that." He waved his walking stick in a vaguely arcane gesture. The rubble was shifted aside as the Saint of Killers rose into the air, glowing green chains appearing through sudden gaps in space to bind his limbs.

"No." murmured the Saint. He stared in horror at the smoke emerging from where the links met his skin. "That's- Only Hashirama- How!"

Danzo chuckled as the air thickened with the scent of burning flesh. "You're not asking how I know, are you? You legitimately have no idea what your own weakness is." He tapped his staff against the ground, the contained lightning of his personal teleportation spell crackling from the base. "Well, no matter. Come my child. The new world awaits."

The last thing the Saint saw was the burns on his wrists. Permanent scars on his impenetrable skin.

The cave was silent. Hinata, Xifa and Xiaofang lay on the cold rock. Loud echoes buzzed around the room as elsewhere the catacombs began to collapse, their supports destroyed as Danzo forced his way through the barrier. Wearily, as if it was the very last thing he wanted to do, Xifa opened his eyes.

"Frickin' Danzo…" he groaned, creaking to his feet. "I underestimated him." He turned to the corpse of the small boy. He closed his eyes, solemnly clapping his hands in prayer. "Poor Xiaofang," he whispered. "Forgive me." The boy's body began to glow, shrinking until it took the form of a dead cat. In the space between heartbeats, that too disappeared.

Xifa turned to the sleeping Harmonixer. She was lucky to be unconscious, as her back had been broken in the blast. He took a deep breath. It tasted of dust and smoke, but he relished it anyway. He knew it would be one of the last he's ever have.

"I will give my life to extend yours." It was by no means a flashy spell, but it was effective. Without visible effects, Hinata was nevertheless healed in moments. She opened her eyes, sitting up groggily. He assumed from her gasp that she had noticed the way he had rapidly started to age, but he couldn't be sure. His vision was already going dark. "My time has come and gone." he croaked, vocal cords decaying as he spoke. "The rest I leave to you."

He didn't hear her shout his name, but when he fell to his knees he felt her touch his shoulder in concern. She was likely asking him where the Saint had gone, but she could probably figure it out for herself.

"Young Hyuuga," he rasped. "Do not fear the dark. If you accept it, it will protect you in return. Then… what frightens you… will also… disappear…"

This time he caught a few words. "No… fool… not… die here!"

"I'll send you… to the Samsara Pavilion… with the last… of my strength…" Xifa's face, a dried caricature of what it once was, twisted into a nightmare-inducing grin. "Good luck. Go, to Kuihai Tower."

Hinata was almost knocked off her feet as the tremor hit her. Her gaze went skyward as the ceiling began to cave in. "Oh shi-" was all she got out before the spell whisked her away. Xifa tipped forward, dead before the rocks hit him.

Above ground, the Mist-nin were knocked on their asses by the quake. Only Mei, Chojuro and Ao remained standing. "What the-" Chojuro tried, but was interrupted as a second tremor hit them.

"Yes!" grinned Mei exultantly. "They finally started something! Ao!"

The jonin stepped forward. "So it's finally time?"

"Take your troops underground. We don't know what's down there, so proceed with extreme caution."

"Yes Ma'am." Ao nodded, before leaping off with his ninja in tow. Mei glanced at her bodyguard, suppressing a giggle at his look of concern.

"They'll be fine, Chojuro." She smiled at his his surprise. "It doesn't hurt to believe in people now and again." She leapt off after her subordinates. "Move out!"

"My lady…" There was a special kind of softness in Chojuro's smile as he followed her.

At the initial crossroads between Dan Tian Court and Jiang Palace, Hinata warped back into existence. She appeared in mid-step, crashing awkwardly into a wall. "Nngh…" she groaned, cupping her nose. "Sunnuva bitch!" She stopped swearing as the ground shook. "Right. Giant cave in. Time to escape."

"And just where do you think you're going?"

Hinata's shoulders slumped as a man in red stepped into the room, blocking the road back to the temple. "Wugui," she sighed, turning to face him. "Danzo doesn't miss a beat does he?" The man looked confident; considering his humiliating defeat during their last encounter, either he had a new trick up his sleeve or was just that stupid. Probably both. "Don't know when to give up, do you?" she smirked. "Here for another beatdown? You've caught me at a bad time, so I can't make any promises on your life expectancy."

"Arrogant bitch." sneered Wugui. "You will pay dearly for what you did to me."

"You make an excellent argument. It's made all the more compelling by the fact that you're repeating the words of every returning third rate villain ever."

For a moment it looked like Wugui would blow his top, but then the sneer was back. "Tell me, Harmonixer, do you know what a Yamaraja is?"

"Big ugly elite mook, yeah." nodded Hinata.

"A Yamaraja is a human that has undergone artificial fusion by means of a Soul Contract. They make pact with a powerful demon, or occasionally a god, and then acquire full use of their power. At the cost their soul, of course."

"...Fusion?" Hinata blinked. "But… I thought only Harmonixers could-"

"And you're the only one left?" said Wugui mockingly. "The Hyuuga clan was the reason your mother stayed in the Leaf, but it wasn't the reason she arrived. Lord Danzo is the last of his branch of the clan, and his bloodline has thinned from centuries of outbreeding. However, it is still more than enough that injections of his blood can enable the sealing of a contract." He raised his arms. "For example."

There was a bright flash of light, not dissimilar to Hinata's own transformations. When it faded a tall humanoid figure was spinning crazily in midair, its feet only touching the ground after it slowed to a stop. Wugui's Yamaraja form was twice Hinata's size. Its thick leathery skin was a mottled black laced with thick purple veins, three massive claws extended from each foot and its nails were like dark needles. A visible heart pulsed grotesquely on each pectoral, and what looked like a large horn protruded from between its shoulder blades. Two longer, slimmer horns emerged from its forehead, crowning a smooth face with no features save a pair of crystalline green eyes. Red markings resembling tattoos branded its cheeks, and an immense sword with the shape of a club rested in one hand.

"I'd hate to break this to you." said Hinata. "But, well… Y'all dun goofed."

The huge creature just stared at her. "...What?"

"Well," said Hinata, who really didn't see why she needed to point this out. "This is an eldritch abomination from beyond the veil you've made a pact with. Cliche villainous vengeance aside, I really don't think it's going to be worth the untold eons of suffering you'll get after you eventually bite the dust."

"That's-"

"Of course, you could say that that's worth it if you achieve your goals, but really, what are you trying to achieve? You can rant about Danzo and the Valorization all you like, but that's not what you really want. What you really want is revenge, and not against me. You want revenge against my mother."

If Wugui had a mouth, it would be frowning. "You-"

"But to be honest, that's just not going to happen. Even if you were strong enough to beat her (which you're not) the fact of the matter is that she just isn't alive anymore. You could fight a proxy, but that wouldn't work either. I could work, being her daughter, but honestly I'm nowhere near her level. For that matter, I don't think the Saint of Killers is either. You could try to beat the person who beat her, but I found out how she died just the other day. She died undefeated."

The Yamaraja was making some very strange noises as it sputtered for a response, but couldn't seem to form a coherent sentence. Hinata looked at him with genuine pity.

"Face it." she said flatly. "You've shot yourself in the dick dude."

Wugui was in front of her in an instant, backhanding her into the wall. Before she could recover it grabbed her by the legs, swinging her through the air and throwing her straight through the ceiling. "Woah!" shouted Mei, dodging backwards as the ground in front of her exploded. A few unlucky Mist-nin were sent flying as Hinata and the Yamaraja burst through the debris, furiously exchanging blows in mid-air before a crack of the club-sword against the Harmonixer's forearm sent them flying apart, each landing at one end of the temple roof.

"Alright then." nodded Hinata. "Fight time it is." She clutched her head and screamed, body exploding with light.

Her new form looked extremely peculiar, even by fusion standards. Its body was smooth and genderless, the milky white skin patterned with red tattoos. White feathered wings spread behind slender arms and kept it aloft, while instead of legs a thick tail hung beneath it. Two nubs that may have been vestigial legs sprouted from its hips, while the only features on its bald head were more of the same tattoos. A golden orb hovered above its head, glowing with holy energy.

As Wugui leapt towards it the angel-demon took to the air, backing off as a sword of light forming in its hand. As it landed where Hinata had been standing the Yamaraja jumped again, club-sword at the ready. They exchanged a dizzying series of blows in mid air before Wugui was blown back, landing once more on the roof. It raised its free hand, an orb of darkness forming in its palm before blasting towards the flying Harmonixer. Hinata dodged to the side, the attack careening past her and exploding against the side of an unlucky mountain. The angel-demon began to close the distance, swooping through the air as the Yamaraja shot bullet after bullet of demonic essence. Abandoning the light sword Hinata tackled it at top speeds, destroying the temple and sending them smashing through several buildings before tumbling apart in a large stone plaza.

Wugui had blocked with its weapon at the last moment, so although it was knocked on its back when they separated it was soon on its feet. Hinata lightly whacked a house sized piece of rubble with its tail, sending it flying at the other fighter. Wugui jumped, using it as a stepping stone to jump once more at the Harmonixer. The club-sword was blocked by a shield of light, which the Yamaraja used to jump and avoid a swipe from Hinata's tail. A bullet of darkness was thrown straight down, and faint after images were left behind as the angel-demon dodged. As Wugui landed he unleashed a barrage of the shadow blasts, which were all avoided as Hinata ducked in close.

The following exchange was so fast and fierce that it was invisible to the naked eye, arrows of light and bullets of darkness firing randomly between explosions and causing untold property damage. When they were again visible Hinata had several wounds along its body, while one of Wugui's hearts had been ripped out. Hinata raised one palm, firing a concentrated laser through the air. The Yamaraja dodged the first blast and deflected the rest with its weapon.

It was at this point that a makeshift landmine of shadow energy exploded directly beneath where Hinata was floating.

It didn't do too much damage but it interrupted its assault. The Harmonixer took to the air, a quick scan of the area revealing the only mines were restricted to solid surfaces. A rune appeared in front of it, firing a an arrow of light at the Yamaraja.

It was blocked.

Three more runes appeared, this time widely spaced out, firing arrows of their own.

Two were deflected, the third embedded in the creature's thigh.

Hinata clapped its hands. Thousands of runes appeared in the air, covering all directions and angles. Wugui's limbs stretched (as if it had only just remembered they could) creating an omni-directional shield as the club-sword blurred through the air. Not a single arrow made it through, each one deflected and impaled into the ground. Dodging a flurry of the things as they stabbed into spot it was standing, Wugui jumped back as a pair of pterosaur like wings unfurled to keep it aloft.

It would have attacked, except that was when it lost.

In Wave, while waiting for the Mei and Chojuro, the Saint had brought up something called the Seal of Metatron. It was a holy symbol that purified anything that looked at it, and could only be used by a being of pure light. He had taught it to her when he sensed her Light Soul developing, claiming his handwriting was far too bad for it to ever be of use.

Hinata, on the other hand, was a goddamn Hyuuga. Since childhood she had practiced her calligraphy until her hands bled, making even a symbol as complicated as this effortless. The Seal had been reproduced on a massive scale, arrows etching out a clear pattern that filled the entire plaza. The arrows detonated in an immense cylinder of light, consuming the Yamaraja until only its screams remained.

When it faded Wugui was in his human form once more, half conscious and face down in the dirt. "How?" he mumbled. Hinata returned to ground level and staggered back into her human form. "I had the power… of a god of war… how… how could I…"

"Because you are weak."

The words cut through the air like a knife.

The air above Wugui's dying form distorted, making Hinata's eyes ache. When it faded, a man with long hair and pale skin was leering down at the former Yamaraja.

"But don't worry." he smiled. "I can fix that. I've cleaned up so many of Danzo's messes lately, one more won't hurt."

"You." growled Hinata. This was the man that had killed Tsuji. The last time, she hadn't cared. But now she knew the Saint. She knew what Tsuji meant to him. She knew how his death had hurt him. And with that knowledge…

"OROCHIMARU!"

Hinata lost all reason.

Too exhausted to use her powers, Hinata lunged at the snake sannin. Just like last time he simply glanced at her, sending her flying through a building with a flex of his will.

"And with that, I no longer need to introduce myself." he said dryly. He looked at Wugui once more. "But please do not focus on any rumors you may have heard and make an opinion of me on your own. After all, we will soon become… intimately… acquainted."

The space around them blurred, and they were gone.

"Damn." coughed Hinata. Tired and injured, she had fared far worse than the last time she had received that attack. She tried to force herself to her feet… then froze as the ground shook.

Between the collapsing catacombs and her battle with Wugui, the grounds just couldn't take any more punishment. The Nine Courts of Xiyuan had begun to collapse.

"No." gasped Hinata. "No no no."

She dragged her battered body towards the hole she had made in the wall, but the floor had already begun to crack.

"Not now!" she croaked, because if she fell here she would die. "Not like this!"

Even as the walls and ceiling started to cave in, the ground beneath her feet began to sink.

"Saint!"

The exit was the only light in the darkness. Futilely, she reached for it.

"Sai-"

The earth closed around her, and she knew no more.

Meanwhile, near the coast of the Hidden Mist, a dark shape glowing with fire pulled up on the beach. The being's horse vanished in flare of hellfire as it dismounted, stepping into the shadow of a cliff.

The trail had gone cold.

Something or someone was hiding the Key from view. The skeletal figure growled, but didn't move.

It was patient.

Its prey would reveal itself.

Its prey would not escape.

It would kill the Saint of Killers.

Soon.