Semblance of My Being

Disclaimer: I don't believe I own Kingdom Hearts.

A/N: I just needed to write something. I haven't for a while now. FanFiction wouldn't let me post this for days ugh. Enjoy? Yes? No?

…

She had to run. She had to run and get as far away as possible from Xemnas.

His cruel voice wouldn't stop ringing in her ears. She didn't belong. She was a defected doll made for collecting hearts and doing the Organization's biddings. It didn't matter that her friends were important to her, that she even had friends. No, she had been disobeying him and refused to commence with his plans and become a second Sora. It wasn't possible for her. She couldn't stand watching Roxas grow weaker as she consumed his strength. It was all too much for Xion.

Riku had made nothing easier for her, only making her even more confused. His straightforward questions forced her to wonder why she persisted to live. The point was she shouldn't have, she was supposed to be one with Sora and give back Roxas' powers. It only made sense. The logical choice was to return what was rightfully theirs, but she had her own say to it. And it was to continue to survive as who she was.

The new onslaught of words pierced her and she gasped, her pants growing dangerously labored. Anywhere was better than with Xemnas in the Castle That Never Was. One that didn't contain endless blank walls that trapped her would be a haven. She grew desperate clutching to the idea and thrust herself into a dark portal, uncaring of where it would take her.

Xion staggered out as the passage dissolved behind her, nearly collapsing onto the cold, dusty ground. The world around her was desolate. She was surrounded with craters and debris billowing through the arid winds, tickling her lungs. What was worse, she found, was the amount of rusting keyblades thrashed about the baking earth far out in the horizon. It was a graveyard, the air laced with the presence of death and abandon gathered throughout the years.

Where she was precisely, Xion didn't know. It felt familiar and yet eerie. It wasn't as fond as a home and it wasn't a place she distinctly remembered. The sensation was mind-boggling and made her wish she had been transported to somewhere safer and warmer. Somewhere like Destiny Islands.

The missing presence of the sand crunching beneath her boots was replaced with hollow steps on the dry ground. The slow, crashing waves ebbing its way onto the island was nonexistent as the rough winds lashed at her. And the Thalassa Shells she enjoyed gathering morphed into misplaced gravel and rocks.

There was no security for her in the graveyard. Devoid of what protection was needed in her sanctuary, she had to turn back. A short visit to Destiny Islands should do the trick. Just one glimpse and she would go back to Xemnas without resistance. It was decided then, nothing more to it. Xion gazed at the cliffs with downcast eyes, feeling a quiver run through her as a gentle wind past.

The force of the current tremendously strengthened and slammed her into the rock face, knocking her held breath. She gasped painfully for oxygen, dully realizing she couldn't recover the air that escaped her lips. A tight grip seized her throat, rendering her speechless and causing her mind to become bleary. She subconsciously grabbed onto the offending object, feeling something reminiscent of an arm. Her vision could barely make out the silhouette of a shadowy male.

She was about to die. And that was the last thing she wanted.

With renewed vigor, Xion's right hand let go of the appendage and reached out into the air, summoning her keyblade. She thrust it frantically to where she predicted his head was and felt a collision before being thrown down. Distraught coughs erupted from her throat as she lay on her knees, slowly urging herself to regain her composure.

Her head snapped to the left, on the lookout for the fallen enemy. He was lying on the ground, unmoving. Had she really caused that much damage with only one strike? She scrambled to her feet and apprehensively approached the stranger. His helmet had fallen off due to the direct hit to the head. His face was what shocked her more than anything.

It was almost a perfect copy of Sora. All except for his hair. Jet black, resembling the color of night. His irises revealed to be an intense gold when his eyelids abruptly opened, staring directly at Xion.

She took several hesitant steps away from him, her back meeting the cold, rocky surface. He propelled himself back on to his feet with ease. He was clothed in an unnatural black and white suit, contrasting with the sullen dirt beneath his boots. The light sound of tinkling metal broke the stillness as he raised his keyblade to Xion's throat. A twisted, wry smile played on his features.

"So good to see you again, Ventus." The male spoke, sarcasm dripping in his friendly greeting. The Void Gear marginally came nearer to Xion's neck, coming into contact with her burning skin when she swallowed.

The words that tumbled from her mouth came out as a stranger's, clear and audible, yet so insecure and quiet. "I don't know who you're talking about." Her chest tightened and her head grew light. Xion was acutely aware that one wrong move would be the end for her.

He flicked his pupils from the tip of his keyblade to her eyes and his calm exterior wavered. It wasn't the same voice he remembered years ago. Wasn't even the same tone, it was a girl's airy one. He no longer saw Ventus, but a pale girl with short, dark hair, fearing for her life. This was a stranger. A stranger that had access to the powers of the keyblade.

"You," He snarled. "You're not Ventus. Who the hell are you?" He demanded. She would not trick him with her silly games. It only took one swift stab if provoked.

"Xion," She muttered lowly.

Both parties refused to break their stares. Even a blink would involuntarily decide the winner, and the two were proud, refusing to give in.

The male continued to barrage her with ongoing questions, gently reminding her with his weapon that they would be answered. "How did you get that keyblade?"

She was conflicted. Was she supposed to tell him that she gained the ability thanks to Xemnas? What would become of her if she confessed that her keyblade was an imitation of the real one, like Riku had told her? That her capability to summon the keyblade was thanks to absorbing Sora's memories and Roxas' powers? None would seem to cut it.

"I… I don't know." It was as honest as it could get.

He scoffed and lowered his keyblade, utterly disgusted with her answer. She wasn't worth his time or efforts if she didn't have an ounce of knowledge of herself and the powers she possessed.

"You don't even seem fit to be a wielder. No confidence. No understanding. Not even the determination to fight back after I cornered you like the rat you are."

Standing around would do her no good as he walked away from her miserable state. His remarks were just as bad as Xemnas' and it was unacceptable. She refused to tolerate yet another person belittling her as Xemnas and Riku already had. Her tight fists trembled from her mixed feelings.

Xion had enough. She looked directly at his retreating figure. Her fear would not hold her back this time.

"I'm not here for your insults!"

He couldn't see the expression she had, but her tone implied everything that was needed to allow further retorts. "You should at least tell me who you are if you just plan to be a jerk." Her temper steadied with the few remaining words.

It barely got him to turn around and look at her again, but it worked.

"Vanitas." He answered simply. "At least what used to be him." Before it got complicated, and it only took a few extra syllables for him to accomplish it.

Xion was at a loss for words. She had no clue what he meant and had no time to ask before he continued to talk, almost as if he sensed her uncertainty of the matter. Did he truly know how baffled she was with his introduction? That he had stated in the fine print of his words that he wasn't whole? Like her?

"My anger keeps me here in this wasteland." Vanitas spat resentfully, ruthlessly stabbing the Void Gear into the soil below. "It keeps me alive enough to destroy people like you."

"I don't understand—"

"Of course you wouldn't." He cut her off, aware that she wouldn't have understood in the first place. He knew she wouldn't ask the right questions to get out the answers she wanted. It would save her breath in the end if she listened. "I don't really exist. I'm not real. Only a mere remnant that's survived for a decade now. My body's long gone in him."

His words became something she could relate to when he finished his explanation. She had a body as well, but she wasn't supposed to exist. She wasn't meant to breathe or feel happiness. She was created with one purpose; to collect hearts for Xemnas and open Kingdom Hearts.

But who was this him?

"I suggest you leave."

Vanitas broke her train of thought once more with his sudden proposal. His body vanished without a moment's pause and Xion was left to stand alone. Perhaps he was right and her visit had ended long ago with his appearance.

…

"That's crazy talk, Xion."

"No it's not!" She defended herself.

Roxas shook his head, unbelieving of her tall tale. Really, did Xion expect him to believe that she transported herself to a world they never encountered before, filled with keyblades? She had conveniently left out the reason why she had left in the first place, along with her meeting with Vanitas.

"Well…" He scratched at his blonde hair, thinking of how to word his next statement. Roxas wanted to say what he really thought, but he wanted to appease the girl as well to avoid a shouting contest.

"It's crazy, but why don't you take me there one day then when we don't have a mission?" Roxas suggested, pleased with his compromise. He wouldn't necessarily believe it, but he might change his mind if Xion showed him the world.

"Fine, I will. The next time we both have a day off you'll be in for a shock." She agreed, smiling.

Xion just needed to make sure she could get to the graveyard again and everything would be settled. The thought of Vanitas attacking again lingered in the back of her mind, but he would not ruin their adventure.

Roxas grinned back, tucking his arms behind his head. "That's great. I can't wait to prove you wrong then." He joked. It earned him a light shove from the smaller girl. "Tell me more about this… keyblade graveyard when we meet up at the clock tower alright? My next mission is at Wonderland."

He left the Grey Area to prepare for his mission, patting Xion's shoulder reassuringly before running off. She watched him hurry down the hallway, sighing. Even though he knew he would be delayed by talking with her, he still prioritized their conversations over his missions. The thought made her smile halfheartedly.

"Why so down, kiddo?" Xigbar asked, startling Xion as he pushed himself off the wall to approach her. Xion frowned, had he been there all that time eavesdropping?

She struggled to find the right words to answer her superior. If he had heard the entire conversation, he didn't even need to ask. "Wouldn't you already know?"

He wagged a mocking finger, ridiculing her.

"No, no." Xigbar chided. "You don't talk to me like that, brat. Especially with those eyes glaring holes at me." He sneered, seemingly repulsed by her very presence. So he had heard everything.

"Tell me, did you happen to meet a kid with dark hair too?" He questioned, hiding something all-knowing behind his wicked smile. She gasped and instinctively took a step back. Xion distinctly remembered never uttering a single word of Vanitas and planned on keeping it a secret.

"How… How do you know about that?" Xion didn't know if she was a deer in headlights or a fish out of water.

He laughed at her reaction, all too amused with her bewilderment. "Easy, pipsqueak. I knew him long before you were born. Oh, I'm sorry. I mean created, wouldn't want to offend you now, would I?" He taunted.

"Why does he look so similar to Sora?" She whispered. His words stung her, but it would have to be brushed off for now.

"Good question!" Xigbar jeered, relishing that he was beating around the bush far too long with her. "I don't know, maybe because they're connected somehow?"

Xion clenched her fists. He was playing with her.

"Take me to him." She demanded. "Take me to Castle Oblivion."

Xigbar scoffed. "As if."

Her keyblade flashed before them, pointing it at his chest. "Take me to Sora." She repeated.

"Feisty, aren't you?" He grinned devilishly as he raised his hands into the air. "It's against my orders, but why not?"

…

Their combined steps echoed in the white room housing a single large Memory Pod. Xion cautiously approached it and placed her gloved hand on the cold, smooth exterior. Through it she could feel Sora inside resting, but not recovering. His memories weren't being restored because of her and she knew the time for her to choose was nearing.

"Are you done yet, Poppet?" Xigbar droned boringly, looking at his fingernails. She could see from her peripheral vision that he didn't even take off his glove.

"He and Sora are completely different, but they're connected." Xion mumbled, uncaring if Xigbar heard her or not. She recalled him telling her his body disappeared inside someone else. Was he referring to Sora?

Xion needed to get back to the graveyard again, but not with Roxas by her side. Something about it all intrigued her and she wanted to figure it out alone.