This was written for Asherien as part of my charity fic thingie. She asked for Knoll. So here is Knoll.

Warnings: some mild angst

Diclaimer: I do not own Fire Emblem or any characters therein. I make no money from any fanfiction.

"Sing for me," Mother asks. Knoll blinks up at her, eyes wide. She smiles gently and he obediently begins to sing. Just a lullaby. Knoll doesn't know many songs, only the ones Mother sings. She has a nice voice, soft and sweet, and whenever she sings Knoll wants to stop and listen. He can sing too, but most of the boys his age aren't interested in singing. Singing is a thing girls did and Knoll is not a girl, even if he looks a bit like one. Mother pats his head absently and smiles, humming along with him. For a while, she just sits there, listening to him and Knoll sings as well as he can. Father Macgregor said that Knoll should join the choir and join the church, but Mother had made an annoyed face and had said no. Father Macgregor hadn't looked very pleased, but Mother's word was law and so Knoll didn't go to the choir like some of the other boys and instead he got to play with Mother's books.

Mother's books are pretty and interesting. They all have dark covers, like Mother's clothes, and the writing inside is all curly. Some of the other boys are scared of Mother's books, saying they look strange, but Knoll likes them. He can draw darkness out of them, but it's not scary darkness. Mother says if he's not careful he could hurt someone, but Knoll can never pull all the darkness out of the pages so it's only tiny fragmented wisps which curl around his fingers. Mother does the same sometimes. "Knoll, be careful. You must control it, like I do. See?" she says, bending down to correct his hold. The darkness slides over their skin, a whisper-touch that tickles. Knoll giggles and feels the darkness pulse. Mother starts weaving her own magic into the darkness and soon it travels up her arm to curl around her shoulder.

She strokes her fingers over it, like it's an animal, and Knoll feels it pulse again. Mother waves her fingers and the darkness leaves. He starts singing again, softly, as he goes back to the tome. Mother is using her special ink now, writing new magic onto the pages of her book. The cover of it is rich and dark, with pretty silver lines swirling over it. All the pages had been blank, but Knoll could feel the magic in there. Mother said not to touch it, because the magic was still raw and hadn't been contained properly. That's what Mother is doing now. She's writing the taming words into the book with her special ink and her special quill and she has to do it quickly, or the magic will go bad and hurt people. Knoll's book was also written by Mother. Knoll doesn't know how he knows that, he just does. The magic inside it likes him. It never hurts.

Sometimes, Mother takes Knoll out. She doesn't do it often, because she has to write magic into the books a lot, but when she does it is always fun. The other boys tease Knoll for being a mama's boy, but they don't get to learn how to charm the darkness into obedience. They don't know what it's like, singing to it, taming it, bringing it close and near. They don't get to see either, because Mother only ever teaches Knoll away from the other children and only sometimes with the other shamans. They're nice, but a bit scary. They take Mother's books and they don't sing to the darkness. The magic doesn't like them as much, but they're always polite. Politeness is a good thing, Mother says. Most of the grown-ups say that Knoll is very polite, as if they can't quite believe it, but Knoll doesn't see why he shouldn't be. Just because the other boys are rowdy and loud doesn't mean Knoll is too.

"Mother," Knoll asks, "can I sing to this?" He raises his hand, a wispy ball of darkness contained within. Mother looks at it and smiles. She kisses his forehead and ruffles his hair.

"Yes, dear. Sing for it," Mother says. So Knoll does, singing the lullaby words Mother taught him. The darkness trembles and shakes and grows, but it doesn't hurt. It never hurts. Mother's magic never, ever hurts. Mother said that was just because Knoll wasn't able to bring enough of it out, but Knoll isn't quite sure he believes that. He thinks that Mother's words with her special ink stop the magic from hurting him. One day, Knoll is going to write a book for Mother and he's going to use her special ink and make it so she can't be hurt either. Mother always smiles when he plays with the darkness but she always gets a bit paler whenever he gives it to her. She hurts when she takes the magic from him. Even just now, when it sat on her shoulder, it hurt. That's why Mother isn't humming and is bent low over her book.

Knoll sings louder, a song he's just made up. The darkness grows bigger in his hand and the words on the page glow and before Knoll can stop, the page is consumed and the darkness coils around him. He still sings, even though Mother is telling him to stop because Knoll knows the song made the darkness stronger and he can't stop. "Knoll, stop singing!" Mother calls, desperate. She reaches for him, through the darkness, her own magic trying to call the spell to her, but it snaps out, suddenly, like when Mother shows him with practice targets. It slams into her and Mother collapses against the desk.

Knoll drops his book and hurries to Mother.

"Mother, Mother please," he says. She opens her eyes and smiles and draws him close. Then she slips to the floor, her eyes closed and Knoll doesn't know what to do. So he sits there and he closes the book and he sings because Mother likes his singing and if he cries a bit, well no-one will know.

Mother doesn't wake up for a very long time.

Thanks for reading.

Rethira