A/N: I know I should be putting up the new chapter to The Whole Nine Yards, but while I was sitting in AP European History on Friday, this idea came to mind and I just couldn't push it out. So, I went ahead and wrote this. Hope you like it!
Disclaimer: Characters do not belong to me.
i.
Rachel is just five years old when she has her first crush. She's fully aware that boys are supposed to have cooties and all, but when it comes to this one strangely tall, brunette headed boy, she just can't help it.
At the tender age of five, Rachel already knows that she isn't liked very much; she's been called the teacher's pet and a know-it-all more times than she count and it's only the second week of school. She's accepted it.
So, while all the other kids are playing tag or double-dutch, Rachel finds herself going back and forth on a swing by herself. She's okay about that, though. She kind of likes it – it's quiet and gives her time to think and daydream. The only real problem is that she's really just too short to get the swing to move as fast as she'd like; her toes don't even touch the ground!
Suddenly, though, she feels her swing go up higher than she could've ever gotten it, and she looks around in amazement. She swears just yesterday her dads told her that magic isn't actually real when she insisted on buying her third Harry Potter wand because the other two "didn't work".
But it isn't magic; it's Finn Hudson, the boy she's had a crush on since the first day of school. And her heart almost stops for a second. He's actually helping her.
"I saw your feet didn't touch the ground and stuff, so I thought I'd give you a push." He says, a crooked smile forming at the left corner of his mouth.
Her thought jumble in her head and she's too awed to even speak; Rachel Berry is never too awed to speak.
She manages to throw him one of her famous, dazzling smiles and whispers a 'thanks Finn.'
She doesn't know what this feeling is; all she knows is that head is spinning uncontrollably and heart's pounding so fast it feels like it might just jump out of her chest.
Her dad's lied, she thinks, because this boy … this boy is magic.
ii.
Rachel is eight when she gets the prettiest dress she's ever seen. It's bright pink with a poodle plastered on the front, purple bows adorning its tiny ears, matching the purple bows attached to her own pigtail braids.
She wears it to school proudly, feeling like the prettiest girl in school.
That is, until a tiny red-headed girl named Lisa laughs at it, calling her dress ugly.
Rachel tries to be strong, she really does. But tears find their way to her eyes anyway, and she can't help but sniffle them back as she tells Lisa that her dress is not ugly; her grandma bought it for her birthday.
Lisa says that her grandma must really hate her if she gave her something so ugly before walking away to play tag with Quinn Fabray and the rest of her friends and Rachel stands dumbfounded. Her grandma doesn't hate her! She always tells her she's her favorite grandchild (even though really, she's her only grandchild).
She's walking back to her place of solace, the swing sets, when she's stopped by the same brown-haired boy who had so sweetly pushed her on those same swings many years ago.
"Your sweater isn't ugly, Rachel" he says nervously. "The dog's kinda cute."
Rachel gets that same feeling she did on those swings a long time ago, and it only multiplies infinitely as he hands her a sunflower silently before running back to his friends.
Rachel stands there, shocked. This boy always has the ability to leave her speechless.
iii.
Rachel is twelve when she's asked to tutor Finn Hudson in math. He's failing, and she's getting straight A's as usual.
She kind of can't control herself when she's asked by her teacher though, because for so long she's been admiring this beautiful boy from afar; now she'll actually have a reason to converse with him.
She meets him after class and tells him to meet her in the library after school. After spending the whole day a nervous wreck, she's surprised when he actually shows up to the library. Once again, she's too tongue-tied to talk but she just reminds herself to breathe. She can do this. She can talk to him without making a complete fool of herself.
And, to her surprise she's able to talk to him normally; or, as normal as Rachel Berry can get.
They hangout almost every day after school in the library - sometimes talking about music and TV, sometimes actually studying. Turns out they actually have quite a lot in common, and she can feel herself falling for this boy quickly; almost too quickly. But he's just so clueless and cute that she can't help it. Nor does she want to, really. She likes this feeling.
She likes having a friend, for once.
iv.
Rachel is fourteen the first time she gets slushied. Eyes burning and tears threatening to spill, she looks up to see the face of one Finn Hudson.
She feels an irrational surge of sadness rather than anger at the lack of familiarity in his eyes. She could've sworn they sort of became friends while she tutored him in middle school.
She watches as he walks away, exchanging high-fives and snickers with the rest of the football players.
She knows she should be sad that the perfect outfit she'd spent hours choosing for her first day in high school was now ruined, as well as her hair she'd worked so hard to curl. But none of that matters.
All she can think of are his eyes. So cold. So disconnected. So not the guy she used to consider her friend.
v.
Rachel is fifteen when she gets her first kiss. She's aware of the fact that the circumstances are so very wrong – he has a girlfriend and a baby on the way – but once again, when it comes to this brunette haired boy, she can't help it.
"You can kiss me if you want to."
The words slip out before she can stop them, and she freezes in dread. What if he doesn't want to? Sure, they've been getting alone slightly well since he joined Glee, but he had been slushie-ing her for a year prior to that. And his girlfriend has called her RuPaul repeatedly for her whole life, basically. Does he also think she looks like RuPaul? He probably does. Which means he probably doesn't want to kiss her.
All of a sudden, she feels so very stupid. She's about to get up and crawl into some deep, dark hole when he catches her by surprise.
"I want to." He swallows.
Before she knows it, her lips are on his and her heart is racing.
Despite the slushie-facials, egg-throwing and insults, she thinks she may be in love.
vi.
At the age of fifteen, Rachel also goes through her first heart break, and she swears she'll never give heart to Finn Hudson again.
She tried so hard to be the best version of herself for him. But she guesses she still wasn't good enough.
When he was with Quinn, thinking that he was fathering her child, she tried her very best to be there for him when he needed to vent. And she did it despite how much it hurt her.
When he found out he wasn't actually fathering Quinn's child (ahem, and he only found out because of her) she let him be angry, and she let him cry on her shoulder.
And when they started to date, she tried to be the best girlfriend possible. She even made him a calendar so that he'd always have something to look forward to.
But he threw it all away in order to "find is inner rock star."
And he broke her heart. So now, she's resolved to never let her back in again. Ever.
Only, she's not fully aware of just how little will she has when it comes to Finn Hudson.
vii.
Rachel is sixteen when she falls in love for the first time. Absolutely, completely, irrevocably in love. But she's screwed it all up because, God, she can never anything right. After years of trying, she had him; she had him completely. Mind and soul. And then she lost him. Because she kissed her best friend. Ugh. Just the thought of kissing Puck of all people disgusts her.
But Rachel knows from the constant, thudding pain in her chest that started a little before Winter Break that she's absolutely in love with Finn Hudson.
And she can't give up on him either. Because that would mean that Quinn would win. And Rachel Berry may be a lot of things, but she's not a loser. (Well, not in the actual sense of the word, anyway).
viii.
Rachel is sixteen and a half when she goes to her first school dance. Its prom and she regrets coming when she sees Finn and Quinn on stage, accepting their prom royalty positions; King and Queen.
She lets out a sigh, and accepts that Quinn really did win in the end.
Her heart falls when she realizes she'll have to watch the two cling to each other for the traditional king and queen dance once Finn finishes thanking everyone for voting for him. She's positive her heart isn't capable of witnessing that; she's already beginning to suffocate from seeing them so close, looking so perfect. So together.
Before turning around to leave the ballroom, she glances in his direction, and notices he's scanning the room like he's looking for someone. His eyes land on her, and automatically a crooked smile appears on his face.
She remains frozen in place as he jogs to her, leaving a pissed-looking Quinn behind.
"I love you." He says.
Rachel Berry won, after all.
ix.
Rachel Berry is eighteen when she graduates.
She sings her last duet, her heart breaking with every line of Time of Your Life.
The summer is the best one of her life. She constantly feels like she has to thank him for it, and he tells her to stop. They'll "have lots more like this one" he says, "Just wait and see".
And they promise to stay together while he goes to school in Ohio, and she moves to New York. But ultimately, days before she's leaving, they break-up knowing that a long-distance relationship would only put a strain on their already stressful lives.
She says her last goodbye to him the morning of her flight to the Big Apple, tears forming in both of their eyes as she tells him she'll always love him. And she knows she's never said truer words.
x.
Rachel is twenty when she walks into her New York City apartment after a long day on the stage; she's finally landed a role on Broadway. Albeit, a small one – but a role nonetheless.
She smiles when she spots a snoring Finn on the couch, and wakes him with her lips on his, laughing as he pulls her down onto the couch with her.
It was only a year ago that Finn had raised his grades high enough to transfer to NYU; them being apart was not working out for either one of them. So, he'd moved into her apartment, and everything was perfect ever since. Or, as close to perfection as they could be.
He takes her out that night and as they're walking around Central Park, he drops down on one knee. She turns around impatiently, about to tell him to walk faster when she sees the tiny blue box in his hand; it's a Tiffany's blue, she's pretty sure.
"Rach, I was gonna wait to do this, but I can't really wait anymore. I mean, you and me … it's just right, you know?" He starts, wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans. He's nervous, she can tell. But she can't blame him; hell, she's about to faint herself.
"I just… I just love you and I want to continue waking up to your beautiful face every day for the rest of my life. I want to make those gross vegan pancakes for you every Saturday morning till I die, and someday I want to have kids with you." He smiles, and she's sure he's visualizing a bunch of tiny Finns and Rachels running around in their apartment.
"I just want you and the world to know how much I love you. Will you marry me?"
Once again, Finn Hudson's found a way to leave her perfectly speechless. She nods, tears forming in her eyes as she bends down to kiss him, murmuring countless I love you's against his mouth.
xii.
Rachel is twenty-four when she gets married. She never thought she'd get married so young, but she also never thought she'd fall in love as deeply as she did.
She looks at herself in the mirror, and sighs contently as she plays with the iridescent beads scattered perfectly around her white Marchesa gown.
Kurt comes in, her maid of honor, and tells her they're ready for her. And with a kiss on her forehead, he leads her to her dads who are still not completely ready to walk their baby girl down the aisle.
She hears 'Here Comes The Bride' and all of a sudden, a million butterflies begin to flutter in her stomach. She can't believe she's getting married. She's so nervous she might throw up, but as soon as she sees Finn's face, a sense of calm washes over her.
He throws her his famous half-smile as she's walking down the aisle, and she has to stop herself from running over to him and kissing him before the ceremony even begins.
As the priest and rabbi begin to give their speeches, she looks into Finn's eyes and is awed by the love she finds in them. Looking at him, she knows she's finally home. She's exactly where she belongs.
xii.
Rachel is twenty-seven when she's huffing and puffing in a hospital room, trying to get this damn baby out of her.
She's cursing at Finn under her breathe as she watches his face change colors before he almost passes out; really? She's the one going through all of this pain and he's the one about to faint?
Two days later, she lies awake in her bed, secure in Finn's arms as she thinks back to twenty-two years ago when she had her first crush. She thinks back to the swing-set and feels a swelling in her heart. She thought things like this – marrying your first crush – only happened in movies and films. But here she was, snuggling in bed with the first boy she had ever liked, their baby girl sleeping in the room next to theirs.
She hears a small, whimpering cry from the child monitor, and is gathering her courage to get out of bed when she feels Finn sit up. He turns off the monitor, and kisses her on the mouth.
"I got it." He whispers, before he grabs the bottle of milk on his left and walks out.
Unable to go back to sleep without his arms circling her waist, she gets out of bed to find Finn asleep on the rocking chair, a tiny, snoring Audrey on his chest.
She just stares at them in adoration, wondering how in the world she got so lucky.
A/N: That's it! Hope you all liked it! If you read my story The Whole Nine Yards, I'll try to have the next chapter up by tomorrow! Reviews are honestly the most encouraging and heart-warming things to see so don't forget to leave one =) Thanks for reading!