Chapter 2: Preparation

"You," the girl who stood at 5"2 said with a superior voice. She was looking straight at Kyle as if Stan weren't there at all. How rude. "You are Kyle Broflovski?"

"Um, yeah, that's me," Kyle confirmed with a blink. "How do you know me?"

"If you wish to save your friend, follow me." The girl ordered, turning away from them, leaving no room for questioning.

"But wait, who are you?" Kyle asked, reaching out, but was ignored.

"Okay…" Stan said in a confused tone, "Should we follow her?"

"I have a feeling we should…" Kyle answered, before looking at him. "Maybe it has something to do with Kenny… Wait up, girl!"

"What is this all about?" Stan asked the girl, but was ignored. He nudged Kyle. Maybe she'd answer him. She at least acknowledged Kyle.

Before Kyle could say anything, the girl decided to explain. "Kyle Broflovski was communicated by the spirit of Kenny McCormick. Your friend is neither in heaven nor hell. Those creatures just now are trying to prevent the salvation of Kenny by destroying the chosen one, or Kyle."

"But why am I the chosen one?" Kyle asked.

"I don't know, something about you being the only Jewish kid in South Park," She sighed.

"How do you know all this? Who are you?" Kyle asked in awe.

"I was sent here to aid you by a force I am not at liberty to speak of," She answered, raising an arm over her head and stretching her muscles. It was a long run and walk to get to these boys. "As to whom I am, you may call me Yoakou."

"So, Yoakou," Stan said in an accusing tone, "Where exactly are we going and how are we going to save Kenny?"

"It would be hard to explain to a human who doesn't believe in the supernatural," Yoakou shrugged, "But, I have to aid you to the location because there will be many more creatures far worse than those little rodents back there."

Stan and Kyle both blushed in embarrassment and intimidation.

Stan kind of wished that Cartman was there to insult her and knock her down a peg.

"Do you hum—boys, have any weapons?" She asked, glancing at them.

Both boys shook their heads. Why would they need weapons? Up until now, everything was so… Ordinary and simple—now they had ghosts, spirits, and creatures were after them and paranormal activities were occurring and what was this now? Oh yeah, they had to have weapons now and fight them. As if life was an RP or some sort of anime/manga now.

"Shame, you need a weapon to survive." She said in a calm, uncaring tone. "I can't always be there to protect you. I'm not a God after all."

"But… You don't have a weapon," Kyle pointed out.

Speaking of which…

Ignoring Kyle, Stan spoke to Yoakou, "Then what exactly are you?"

She smirked at him, eyes smoldering him, sizing him up. "Why, I'm a girl."

"That's not what I meant," Stan grunted, she was testing his patience.

"I am a death angel," She answered.

'Angel my ass,' Stan thought, frowning slightly. "Interesting, so you're not human? Where are your wings, angel?"

"Stan," Kyle scolded lightly. Why was he acting so mean? All she did was help them.

The girl lifted her head so she could somehow look down on Stan, even though Stan was 5"9 (and growing), and gave him a knowing glance. "No, not human… and death angels don't have wings. We just have power to help regulate the flow of life."

'You don't do a very good job at it,' Stan thought bitterly, wanting to snort. 'Kenny's always dying, but never stays dead.'

Kyle frowned at Stan. What was his problem? This Yoakou saved them and she was amazing and the attack was so beautiful and unreal. But Stan's eyes were shut closed, so naturally he wouldn't have the same admiration.

Stan wanted to roll his eyes at Kyle. In his peripheral vision, he could see Kyle frowning at him. Why did Kyle even want to protect her? What made her so special?

"Humans," Yoakou scoffed, "Always unprepared. Listen, now that I think of it, I have another minor mission around here. While I go take care of that, go to your house and prepare a lie to your parents and wear clothes more suitable for battle. Meet me here in an hour and I'll take you to the weapon smith."

…

Stan and Kyle both arrived four minutes earlier than the arranged meeting, when rustling in the bushes caught their attention. But the person who stepped out wasn't the short, thin, Asian girl they were expecting. No—quite the opposite.

"You didn't think you were leaving on a mission without me, did you?" A cool voice asked, revealing the tall, fat, American body of none other than Eric Cartman.

"Cartman…" Stan started.

"What are you wearing?" Kyle finished, already annoyed at seeing the fat face of his nemesis-friend.

"Superman costume, duh you stupid Jew," Cartman yelled, putting a hand on his hip. "Your diabetes finally making you blind, God!"

"Fat ugly people like you shouldn't be wearing tights!" Kyle shot back, glaring at the boy who was grinning like the cocky bastard he was.

"And don't forget me," A female's voice chimed, "I'm here to help, too!"

It was Wendy, wearing a Wonder Woman costume, most likely to "go/match" with her boyfriend.

"Why the hell are you guys even wearing costumes?" Stan demanded. "How did you even know we were going anywhere?"

"Because, we're not boring lame asses like you and the Jew," Cartman answered casually, "And I was around the area looking for my Churches Chicken coupon that I'd dropped and I heard you guys talking to a girl and I was wondering what kind of ugly desperate girl would be talking to guys like you."

Before any more explaining could be done, another person came, again, not who Stan and Kyle were expecting.

"Hi guys, I'm here to help Kenny, too!" Butters said, wearing something… actually… normal?

"What the hell are you wearing!" Carman screamed, nearly running over to the blonde boy.

Butters was wearing light blue jeans, a black t-shirt with a blue and white jacket over it, green fingerless gloves, and a red and white hat with a black check on the front of the hat. "I'm Ash Ketchum from Pokémon!"

"You fucking lame dumbass!" Carman screeched slapping Butters to the floor and kicking him. "I said superhero you idiot! Go and get another costume before I kick your ass!"

"What is this?"

Cartman stopped his onslaught of screams and kicks on the poor boy to look at the short girl who spoke.

"You told people?" The voice was one of disapproval.

"We didn't tell anyone. They just showed up." Stan explained. "Apparently the fat one was eavesdropping on us earlier and took it upon himself to invite more people."

"I see…" Yoakou sighed. "I suppose three more guests wouldn't hurt."

"Butters needs to go change first," Cartman said, pulling him to his feet and pushing him in the direction of the houses.

'More waiting,' Yoakou thought in annoyance, but decided to let it slide. She really wondered why she was being so lenient with these kids, but then again, she might as well let them have a little fun, since there was a possibility that they could die.

…

Not even ten minutes later, Butters returned, now wearing a Thor costume.

"Wait," Cartman whined in a small, sad voice, "I want to be Thor."

While Superman was the most popular superhero, Thor was the most powerful.

"No time," Yoakou growled, pushing herself up from her slouch against a tree. "Live with your lame costume and let's go."

"It's okay Eric," Wendy smiled, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I think you're fine just the way you are. No matter what costume you wear, you're great."

Cartman looked into his beloved girlfriend's eyes and smiled.

"Wendy," He said nicely.

"Yeah, Eric," Wendy whispered softly, letting her eyelids fall just a bit.

"You're so full of shit," He said, snapping his attention back to Butters, "Butters, get undressed and switch with me Dammit!"

The nerve of him!

"H-hey, get off of me!" Butters screamed, trying to break away from Cartman and run away.

Wendy growled. She thought that he was going to kiss her! What the hell!

"You wouldn't even be able to fit in it!" Kyle yelled, trying to save Butters while Stan held Cartman back. "He is half your size, Cartman!"

…

Yoakou stepped out of the shop after just having a brief conversation with the weapon shop owner. "Okay, go to him and tell him the weapon you would like to wield…" Eyeing Cartman, she continued. "And make sure you can actually use it. This is life and death; we're not playing a game."

Kyle and Stan were the first ones out, of course. They seemed to be the only ones actually taking this seriously.

Cartman just seemed to want to be a superhero without the powers and the physique.

Kyle decided to go with nun-chucks and a dagger, having experience with them. Stan decided to go with a sword.

The next one to come out was Carman with an obnoxious looking huge hammer. Yoakou made him test it out and Cartman was surprisingly able to lift it over his head and swing. Maybe the boy wasn't all fat after all and he had some hidden muscle somewhere.

Butters came out with a long metal staff with a blade at the tip.

Wendy came out holding a whip only to be pushed back inside by Yoakou, who gave her a this-is-serious speech. Wendy then came out with a bow and quiver full of arrows.

Yoakou then ordered each of them some four-star shuriken and smoke bombs just in case. As they neared their destination, the fighting would only get that much more difficult. She especially worried for Wendy, since she did have a limit to her arrows.

"Finally," Yoakou sighed, "Are we all prepared?"

"But what about you," Kyle asked. "Don't you need a weapon?"

"I'm not human remember…" Yoakou said with a slight smirk. "But I do have my own shuriken and a dagger just in case."

"Do you guys think I should get something else," Butters asked, feeling a bit insecure with his weapon choice.

"No, you're fine." Yoakou nodded in approval. "I thought you were going to choose something like what 'fat one' chose. And I'm glad you didn't."

"I'm not fucking fat you midget!" Cartman screamed, turning beat red. "I'm big boned! There's a difference!"

"Well what do I call you?" Yoakou asked. "That is what Stan called you earlier."

"Call me Cartman," he snorted and crossed his arms.

"Oh, and I'm Wendy, Cartman's girlfriend!"

"You can call me Butters, that's my nickname."

"I see… I am Yoakou," She introduced with a curt nod, "Now that we're all acquainted, let's get going."

…