A/N I wasn't going to write this but it kept buzzing around my head. Ashes to Ashes doesn't belong to me.

Goodbye doesn't mean forever.

.

'Go' he couldn't believe he was saying it; taking the easy way out yet again.

The way she had looked at him; like he was kidding, that he didn't really mean he wanted her to go. And when she kissed him he didn't know how he had stayed vertical; like all their hopes, emotions and fears weren't flowing back and forth, conducted by a chaste kiss, a pathetic excuse for an expression of everything between them.

'Goodbye Guv'

Even that wasn't right, no arguments, no hesitation, and worst of all no Bolly type lectures ; just the feeble, 'I can stay here- with you- you can't do this on your own- you need me Gene.' in a voice that was part hysteria, part fear, part relief.

He told himself she had had enough, she wanted to go, in his world she was nearly as dead as she was in her own. She hadn't even looked back; of course she was ready to go. But all the way back to the station he could feel the warmth of her lips on his. He was the dead one; he had really bollixed up this time; couldn't ever remember feeling this wretched. Or tired. Yeah bloody knackered.

Off he went with his boots ringing as he pounded the street back to Fenchurch, where there would be no Ray, or Chris or Shaz, and no Bolly and he would have to start all over again.

He didn't like cats but when he came across a beaten up old ginger tom with one closed up eye and a cauliflower ear he felt an affinity with him, reaching down to stroke him, and receiving razor like slashes across his hand for his trouble.

'You bastard' he choked angrily, but held back from kicking the cat into the next street, he still felt the affinity, knowing he himself would surely hurt or maim anyone who showed him the slightest tenderness because he just couldn't stand it, and couldn't risk the floodgates opening. The cat yowled in a way that sounded almost human, and the anguished pain in the sound deepened their connection.

He'd walked perhaps another quarter of a mile when he suddenly knew he was being followed. Bastard Keats! He spun round, no-one there, not Keats then, he frowned, and jumped as something brushed his leg. Old tom was sticking close it seemed.

'Piss off, you stinky furball' he told it, and resumed his journey through the freezing grubby streets.

At the station, as he opened the door, the cat shot in.

'Viv!' Gene called the skip for help to evict the moggy and then remembered miserably that Viv was no longer there; an unfamiliar face was at the desk; humourless and lethargic- and nameless, Gene realised he didn't have a clue about the desk sergeant's name.

'Sir?' the man looked as if he couldn't really be bothered.

'Never mind- too late' Gene frowned, following the cat who was charging along the corridor, 'Oi !- Cat! Come back!' he ordered.

The cat turned and peered at Gene through his only eye; tail thrashing.

Amber eye, Gene's mouth turned downwards, same as Bolly, except she had two of course; when was this forgetting shit going to kick in? Did it always take this long? He was relying on it, he had to forget her or he'd go insane.

In the kitchenette he found some curled up ham sandwiches and mushed them into one saucer, before filling another with milk.

'Don't get used to it' he warned the cat, who was ravenously eating the bread, crusts and all, 'You fill up, warm up and then you're back on the street.' he lit a cigarette, made a mug of syrupy sweet coffee and topped it up with scotch from his hip flask and stood back watching, trying not to be fascinated, or to feel anything for the manky flea ridden scrap. But when the cat had cleaned the saucer, Gene found himself searching in the fridge, and finding half a tin of tuna.

'Fuck me mog- you've struck gold' he said, fag clamped between his teeth as he took out the tin and scraped the contents, together with a smidgeon of ash that dropped from his cigarette into the cat's saucer.

Several scotch laced coffees and cigarettes later, Gene settled down in his office to sleep, his Quattro was gone, he wasn't driving that sodding awful Escort and he hated home anyway. The cat followed him in and began eying up his lap.

'Don't even…..' he shook his head.

The cat turned his blind eye to Gene, swung his bum around, stuck one leg straight up in the air and started a meticulous washing session.

'Bloody dead-eyed Dick' Gene muttered, frowning at the blatant lack of respect, and the lacerations on his hand, 'Right- you stay tonight- but tomorrow you're out of here- understand?'

oxxo

You attract nutters, Bolly, I've noticed that about you.

'Obviously' Alex said to herself. Who would have thought that Gene would turn out to be the biggest nutter of all? He had to be to send her into a pub she had never seen before, thinking a saloon bar would be enough of an attraction to lure her away. To rub salt into her many wounds she hadn't even stayed in the pub; the second she got through the door she was encased in a golden glow that she truly believed was transporting her to heaven, and happy peace everlasting, but she was unceremoniously ejected from the goldenness. Instead of walking into the light, as she assumed those shadowy figures ahead of her had, there was suddenly an ugly yellow metal 'Diversion ' sign blocking her path, and she stepped from golden to a sort of faded blue fog.

'Ok' she muttered, smiling uncertainly, knowing where she was but not quite believing it-oh her subconscious and the little jokes it insisted on playing. She had no option other than to indulge it, she was a lost soul, and walked unsteadily along the railway platform towards the 'Refreshments' sign with its pointing hand.

Inside the tearoom she giggled, knowing she sounded on the brink of insanity. So, heaven; her heaven was the tearoom in 'Brief Encounter' was it? Would Trevor Howard morph into Gene ? Would Dolly Messiter and her incessant chatter keep the starcrossed lovers apart again? Had she turned into Celia Johnson?

There was a mirror in the tearoom and she looked at herself; she hadn't changed; still the same coat with the stripy jumper underneath and a slightly red nose from the extreme cold. There were others in the café ; chatting, sipping tea, but mainly looking a little lost and uncertain.

'Sit here' a voice offered.

She turned and saw a man with half moon glasses in a thick overcoat and hefty scarf, pouring tea from a pot.

'Thanks' she sat, more out of shock than anything.

'Police Superintendent Sharp' he reached out his hand, 'Guess you know why you're here?' he pushed a cup of tea across the table at her, 'Milk no sugar, am I right?'

'Er- no- and yes- for the tea, but no to the first question. Why am I here?' she grabbed up the cup of hot liquid for comfort more than thirst.

The man sighed heavily and shook his head, 'This is happening more and more, I don't understand it, the system used to work so well. Have you any idea of the paperwork involved?' he looked for sympathy.

Alex nodded, 'Yes, the way the police force is heading I think I probably have- with the paperwork I mean.'

'These bloody mavericks who keep cocking up' tutted Sharp.

'Mavericks? Do you mean Gene?' asked Alex.

'Oh that it explains it' Sharp shuffled through a pile of well thumbed tea-stained papers, 'Hunt, I should have known; he's done this before.'

'Has he?' Alex wished she knew what he was talking about.

'Oh yes' Sharp looked grim, 'He and that cohort of his, Litton.' he sighed heavily again.

'Litton's not exactly a cohort of Gene's, they don't get on.' Alex informed him.

'Hmmm' Sharp was reading his notes, he looked up, 'Why don't you leave me for a bit to read through this and then I can come to a decision.'

'About what?' Alex asked, beginning to get frustrated, 'Please tell me, what exactly am I doing here?'

'All in good time' Sharp was adamant, and shushed her away.

She gathered up her cup and saucer, and went to sit in the corner.

A few minutes later someone sat down beside her. she glanced up, hoping for a familiar face, Shaz, ideally, but her silent companion was a young man with dark wavy hair.

He smiled sadly, 'Last chance saloon, eh?'

'Seems so' Alex replied, 'Copper?'

He nodded, 'DS Liam Bell.'

'DI Alex Drake.' they shook hands.

'Who sent you through?' he asked.

'Gent Hunt.' Alex told him.

'Was she jealous of you- wizened old crone faced with beautiful younger woman?' Liam grinned.

'No- Gene's a man- G-e-n-e' she spelt out his name.

'Ah' Liam nodded.

'Who sent you through?' Alex asked.

'Derek Litton.' Liam said, rolling his eyes, 'Dinosaur-out of touch.'

'Yes, I've had the dubious pleasure.' Alex said.

'Have you? Fuck- sorry about that.' Liam smiled.

'Do you know why we're here?' Alex asked, after draining her teacup.

'Because they don't know what to do with us?' Liam guessed.

'Um- this is going to sound really crazy but what do you see? I mean this room? What is it?' she hardly dared ask.

'It's an old tearoom in a railway station.' Liam replied.

'Brief Encounter' Alex said, 'I thought my subconscious was conjuring it up, but you see it too- are you a fan of the film?'

'Never seen it.' Liam shrugged.

' Not my subconscious then' Alex muttered, watching Sharp, who was still engrossed in the paperwork, 'His maybe?'

'Well it's warm and comfortable' Liam seemed like someone who always looked for a bright side to everything; he took out his cigarettes, 'Fag?'

'No thanks.' Alex said, and as he started to shove them back in his pocket, she added, 'You can though, I really don't mind.'

'Sure?' Liam looked relieved. 'Could do with a drink as well really.'

'Me too' Alex looked at the counter, it seemed like tea, coffee and soft drinks were all that were available, along with sandwiches and toasted teacakes.

'I'll just ask' Liam stood up and went to the counter. Alex could see the woman in charge of the tearoom shaking her head and pursing her lips in disapproval.

Liam came back and lit his cigarette, 'No licence apparently.'

'Hopefully we won't be here long.' Alex said.

'DI Drake?' Sharp beckoned around twenty long minutes later.

'Oh, things are moving.' she muttered to Liam.

'Well, what to do with you?' Sharp attempted a smile, 'I've considered the options, and I think the best thing is to exchange you and Hunt.'

'What!' Alex recoiled in shock.

'Hunt sent you through just after you had realised you were dead.' Sharp said sternly, 'He shouldn't have done that, the whole point of the set up is to give you time to come to terms with your predicament. He failed. He's had plenty of time to sort out his own feelings, he knows exactly where he is and what he is, therefore he can move on. You are more than qualified to fill his position as DCI of Fenchurch East.'

'You can't do that!' exclaimed Alex, 'It would kill him!'

'He's already dead Alex.' Sharp said impatiently.

'I won't do it!' Alex shouted, jumping up, 'I'm not taking his station from him, I utterly, emphatically refuse!'

'Please stop being so loud and excitable and sit down.' Sharp instructed, 'I have enough of a headache as it is.' he closed his eyes briefly.

'I'm not doing it.' Alex repeated more quietly, 'I won't.'

'He must have done something right to inspire such loyalty.' Sharp rubbed a temple, wincing slightly.

'Let me go back as his DI' Alex whispered, 'Please Sir- let me go back.'

Sharp shook his head, 'He won't remember you.'

Alex could feel her bottom lip trembling, 'He wouldn't forget me so soon.'

'He's already replaced you' Sharp squinted at Gene's notes, 'Hang on- that's funny, he hasn't- something amiss here.' he looked at Liam, and shuffled through some notes. 'What do you think of him?' he jerked his head towards the DS.

'Fine- seems nice, good attitude.' Alex replied.

'What would Hunt think of him?' asked Sharp.

'I can't speak for the Guv really' Alex replied, while a string of insults she was pretty sure Gene would direct at Liam were streaming through her head ; nancy poncy, girly, pretty boy to name a few of the politer ones. 'but I'm sure they'd get along alright.'

'Hmmm' Sharp thought hard, his mouth screwed up and his nose waggled. 'Ok, against my better judgement, I'll send you back. I'm not trusting Litton with DS Bell again though, so he'll be joining you and Hunt at Fenchurch East.'

'Thank you Sir' Alex said meekly, trying to tamp down her excitement. 'Um ..when?'

'Soon as possible.' Sharp said.

oxxo

Gene woke up with a start. Morning -oh joy- another day at Fenchurch East. He stood up, walked round his desk to get his razor and tripped over the cat.

'Fuck it!' he scowled as the cat hissed. 'Outstayed your welcome- time you were back out there.' he opened the office door and the cat ran to the kitchenette.

'One more saucer of milk' Gene mumbled grudgingly, 'Then my boot connects with your arse.'

oxxo