Warnings:
I don't own Conner or Murphy sadly...
This is Slash, meaning boyXboy don't like don't read.
Oh and underage sexual...frustration...
Enjoy
The moon shown softly on soft pale skin and though it was cold a dark a haired boy lay with his blankets kicked down around his feet at the bottom of the twin bed. He was shivering in the night but still the feel of the soft sheets and heavy blanket on his skin made him uncomfortable and antsy. He couldn't sleep and it was all because of the true blue eyes, messy hair and sun kissed skin of another.
Across the room a second boy laid asleep his angelic face and messy dark blond hair were the only things showing from under his bright blue comforter. He too was shivering but even so he seemed at peace in his sleep. It was something the dark haired boy admired about his brother, the ability to sleep no matter the situation, even the frigid air in their home. Damn their mother and her hot flashes, the woman seemed to think if the furnace was set any higher than a blustering 60 degrees it was hotter than the fires of hell.
The dark boy sighed softly and let his eyes trace his brothers sleeping face and the word beautiful floated through his mind. They were so different, yet the blood that coursed through their veins made them brothers and their shared birthday made them twins. My twin. The words echoed in his mind and he instantly tore his eyes from his brother. It wasn't right to think of one's brother as lovely and he swallowed hard in shame. There was something wrong him and he couldn't help but whisper that thought into the silent room.
"Yah me too Murph…'M freezing me damned arse off over here." The second twin suddenly voiced and Murphy jumped as his blue eyes snapped to his brother.
"Conn…I uh…didn't mean ta wake ya." Murphy sputtered as he watched his brother snuggle tighter into his blanket and wished Conner was cuddling him instead.
Conner only shrugged and stared at his brother with a raised brow as he examined his brother trembling in just his boxers. "Aren't ya cold?" he asked softly. "Tha' blanket does no good 'round your feet, ya know."
"Got kicked off while I was sleepin'….didn't have the energy to get it." Murphy lied and started to sit up and pulled the blanket back up to his neck still looking at the other boy.
"Sure…" The blond sighed as he rolled his blue eyes. "Ya were oglin' at me again in me sleep."
Murphy scowled at being caught and came up with same retort he always used. "Was not." He grumbled under his breath and hid the lower half of his face in his own navy blanket.
"Uh huh, ya were practically burning a hole in me skin." Conner chastised. "If ya want to cuddle to keep warm all ya have to do is ask." He said as he raised his blanket to form a cubby for Murphy to crawl into. When they'd been younger the boys had always crawled into bed when they'd been cold or had nightmares. For Conner this situation was no different but in Murphy's case this was entirely different. That was before Murphy had notice himself admiring his brother in a rather unbrotherly manner which was the reason he stayed in place chewing on his lip.
"Fine…" Conner snorted and got up dragging his blanket with him over to Murphy's bed. "Scoot over." He instructed as he tossed his comforter over Murphy's bed and crawled in beside him pushing Murphy over when the darker boy didn't move.
"Conn…Go back ta your own bed. It ain't that fuckin' cold. We're nearly 15." Murphy complained as he rolled so that his back was to his brother. "This bed's too small anyway."
Conner snorted at his brothers comment as he made himself comfortable and wrapped his arm around Murphy's waist not even noticing the tenseness that came over the paler twin. "I don't think so. We fit jus' fine like this."
"Conner…" Murphy half whined and struggled just a bit only to feel his brother tighten the hold on him.
"Don't be a girl…'M cold and you're me brother...So what if we're older, I can hold ya if I feel like it" Conner mumbled against Murphy's shoulder blade.
"But it's different now." The brunet said softly trying not to sound as defeated as he felt while his eyes focused on the moon outside the window.
"How is this any different than before?" The tan brother asked placing a soft kiss on Murphy's shoulder.
"Don't do tha'!" Murphy gasped flipped suddenly in his brother's arms pushing his brother away from him not meaning to push him so hard because Conner suddenly tumbled out of the narrow bed landing on his ass on cream colored carpeting.
"Wha' the hell Murphy!" Conner exclaimed as he stared up at his dark haired brother, his cobalt eyes filled with fire and anger. "All I did was kiss ya shoulder."
" Exactly!" Murphy growled at him. "It's wrong!" He was scowling deeply but it wasn't because he was angry with his brother but with himself. That innocent kiss had elicited a twist in Murphy's stomach and made him feel guilty for feeling the way he did about his own brother.
"How's it wrong?" Conner suddenly asked drawing Murphy out of his thoughts and made him meet his brother's matching eyes.
"It's just is Conner…" Murphy sighed softly leaning over the edge of the bed to be just a little closer to his twin. "You've heard Ma read us the bible. We're boys and it's god's word you're not supposed to do tha'"
"It's just a kiss." Conner said softly looking down at the floor where he sat as if something bothered him. "We used ta kiss all the time. You're me brother an' I love ya." He sniffled still not looking up in at his twin. "Lately you've been all weird. Ya won't even let me sit next to ya without scooting away from me. Did I do somethin' to make ya not want to be close ta me?"
Murphy frowned softly at Conner's words. "No…" He lifted his hand and started to chew on the skin around his thumb nail. "I jus' think we're too old to be all cuddly like tha'" He said though he wanted more than anything to pull Conner back into bed with him but if he did then he'd be going against everything he'd been taught and he wasn't sure he would be able to control himself if Conner kissed him like that again.
Conner nodded softly and raised himself from the floor keeping his head down. He grabbed his blanket from Murphy's bed and trudged back to his own bed collapsing onto it. "G-good night Murph…" Conner voice had a slight tremor in it and he covered his head with the blanket keeping his back to his brother. Conner's chest was aching as he held in his tears, did Murphy hate him? "See ya in the mornin'…"
Murphy started chewing on his finger again as guilt nagged him, he hadn't meant to hurt Conner and knowing his brother was crying underneath that blanket killed him. Suddenly he found himself climbing out of his bed and into Conner's wrapping his arms around the bundled heap that was his brother. "M' sorry…" he said softly. "I…jus' I'm scared…"
Conner pulled the blanket over his head revealing his tear stained cheeks to Murphy and it broke the darker boy's heart. "O' what?"
"I'm scared tha' ya would hate me…that god will hate me…" Murphy whispered sadness filling his blue eyes.
"I could never hate ya…" Conner said sitting up so he could wrap his arms around his twin's shoulders. "You're me brother, an' god has no reason to hate ya….you're so good Murph." He said laying his head on the others shoulder.
"No…I'm goin' ta hell Conn." Murphy sighed softly staring up at the ceiling.
Conner held him tighter. "Ya are not and even if ya are, then I'm going too." He said nuzzling his brother's shoulder.
"Don't say tha'." The pale brother said shaking his head fiercely and pulling Conner away so he could meet each other's eyes.
"I'll say it if I damned well like. I go where ya go..." Conner told him. "Besides why would ya be goin ta hell idjit?"
Murphy sighed softly and hoped Conner would be good on his word and not hating Murphy for admitting how he really felt. "I love ya Conner, that's why."
Conner frowned for a moment and then started to laugh softly shaking his head. "I love ya too. God wouldn't punish us for tha'. Besides, God said 'Love thy brother.'" He told him wrapping his arms around his brother.
The brunet shook his head and sighed. "Not like this…" he said picking up his hand to bite the skin around his fingernails again.
"I hate it when ya do tha'" Conner sighed taking hold of Murphy's wrist gently and pulled the hand from his mouth. "How can love be wrong Murph? And if it's wrong then show me what's so wrong about it."
"Are ya sure?" Murphy asked his eyes getting wide as he felt butterflies flutter about under his ribs. "Ya have to promise tha' ya meant it when ya said won't hate me."
"I promise…Now fuckin tell me already…I'm not gunna be waitin' around fer ever ya know." The blonds eyes sparkled in amusement and something about that look made Murphy think his brother knew something he didn't.
"I can't tell ya…I can show ya though."
"Get o…" Conner was suddenly cut off by a hard kiss on his mouth and his eyes went wide for a moment but relaxed quickly as he felt Murphy's soft lips against his own and wrapped his arms around his brother's shoulders. He felt his brother's hands slide around his back and rest at the small of his bare back and he felt like his heart was soaring until he felt Murphy pull away.
"I love ya Conn…an' I know I shouldn't feel like this but I don't want to be just your brother…" he said softly looking down though his lips were still tingling from the feel of his twins lips on his own.
Apparently Conner felt that tingle too because he lifted his fingers to his lips as soon as Murphy pulled away. "Well now I don't feel like such a git…" He suddenly grinned.
"What?" Murphy asked lifting his head as he frowned.
"I've wanted ya fer a while little brother." The blond said though neither knew that fact for sure. "I just didn't know how to tell ya." He laughed. "I surprised ya couldn't tell."
Murphy scowled. "I ain't the youngest blast ya!" He said picking up his brother's pillow and smacked Conner over the head with it making Conner laugh and shield his head with his arms as Murphy continued to hit and assault him. "Ya never said anything! Oh ya are so evil!"
Conner continued to laugh until he grabbed pillow and smacked Murphy and tackled him back on the bed. "I wasn't sure what ya'd think but now that I know…I'm going to take full advantage of tha'" He said and pressed his lips against Murphy's.
They kissed like that for a long moment until Conner shifted so that Murphy was fully on his back and was pinned under his brother. "Ya know…If you're cold we could...ya know…" Conner grinned.
Murphy blushed bright red and looked away from his brother. "I…uh…Well you mean like wanking together?" He whispered, saying it out loud felt weird. They were twins and had done a lot of things like that together but they'd always been in their own beds and never actually looked at each other, that would have made it awkward but things were different now.
"Well sorta…I mean like…" Conner's hand slid down Murphy's stomach. "What if I touched you?" He asked as he grasped the front of his brother's boxers beginning to rub him throw the thin fabric.
Murphy blushed bright red and though he was unsure why he reached down and wrapped his fingers around Conner's wrist as he shook his head. "Not yet…" He said softly when he leaned up pressed his lips to his brothers for a lingering moment before looking up at the blond.
Conner bit his lip still feeling the tingle on his lips. "Ya want to wait?"
Murphy nodded and shifted up bringing his brother with him so that they were laying properly on the bed. "Let's just sleep now...just keep me warm…" He whispered and smiled when his brother pulled the blanket over them and held him tightly.
They lay cuddled like that for a long time and when sleep finally came Murphy was no longer unsettled, he had the only thing he could remembered ever wanting, Conner's acceptance and reassuring love. For now they were brothers with deeper feelings and soul mates, Murphy could only hope that one day the boy wrapped around him would be his.
Okay so this was my first BDS story...I've read a lot and decided to give it a try. More updates should be coming soon, though no guarantee when it will be. Reviews mean love.