Derek Shepherd wasn't sure what he was doing when he married Addison Montgomery. She was gorgeous, rich and brilliant. At 21, it was everything he would ask for in a woman. They both soon learned that marriage was harder to maintain than it may have seemed.

Both of them were in their senior year of college, both with ambitious dreams to strive for. The only problem was that neither one knew what the other one wanted. When time came to apply to graduate school everything started to unravel.

"We haven't even had a chance to talk about what schools we got into. We have like a week until intent to register forms are due." Addison mentioned as they were walking back to their off campus apartment after class. "I'm leaning toward staying here."

"Yale? I don't want to stay here, Addie. I wanna go to Columbia Med. You thought I was considering Yale?"

She shrugged her shoulder. "I thought you liked it here, you never mentioned anything else so I thought that meant you'd continue here. That was my plan from the beginning and I thought it was perfect."

"No. It's not. I already filed my intent to register with Columbia. You need to come there with me."

She shook her head as she unlocked the front door. "No. We can't move to New York right now, at least I can't. I didn't even apply to Columbia. I only applied to Yale and Harvard and I got into both. I'm sticking to Yale. My dad graduated from here, he teachers here..."

"Why can't you move to New York with me?" he asked.

"Because Yale is in Connecticut! I can't drive from New York to Connecticut everyday! I can't drop out of school over. And I have other reasons..."

"Like what? You don't what to go to a school where your family doesn't have connections?" he asked somewhat bitterly.

"I'm pregnant." she mumbled to correct him. "I'm gonna need help with the baby during school and I can have that if I stay here. Our families are pretty close by if we ever need them. I know my mom isn't exactly warm and nurturing but she said she would help."

"You're pregnant?" he asked in shock.

She nodded her head slowly as she looked into his eyes to try to figure out how he felt about it. "I know we've only been married for 7 months, and it's too soon for a baby but it happened."

"File your intent to register with Yale." he said softly.

"But you already registered yours with Columbia. You can't change it once it's done. There is no going back."

"I know. You'll stay here, I'll go there. I'll transfer as soon as I can. We can make it work." he promised and kissed her softly. "Guess we should have thought about this sooner."

After graduation Mark and Derek started looking for an apartment in New York. As soon as they found one they slowly started moving in. By mid-August they were settled and by the end of the month they started their first semester of medical school. Meanwhile Addison stayed back in Connecticut in the same apartment she and her husband had rented when they got engaged. She was almost five months pregnant on her first day of med school and everyone automatically assumed she'd be the first to drop out because the pregnancy and the work load would be too much to handle.

After her first week of school she locked herself in her apartment and called Derek for comfort. A smile appeared on her face as soon as he answered the phone. "Hey." She greeted him softly. "One week down, a trillion more to go." She said jokingly. "When are you leaving New York? I'm waiting impatiently."

He had promised that he would be home for the weekend and that was the only thing she had been looking forward to. "Oh, Addison…I forgot to tell you…I can't come to see you this weekend. I have so much work I need to do. I don't want to fall behind so early."

"You're not coming?" she asked while doing the best that she could to hide the disappointment in her voice. "But I have an appointment scheduled with my OB tomorrow morning. We're suppose d to find out the sex of the baby. You're supposed to be with me for that."

"I'm sorry, Addie. I wasn't expecting to have this much work for the first week. It's brutal. But I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. You're probably going through the same thing." He replied. "I have ideas for names for both genders."

Addison laughed. "I know I said you can name the baby but I have the right to veto anything I don't like."

"Okay…" he agreed. "I have to go now but call me after you find out the sex."

"Okay." She agreed. "I love you." She added like she always did before they ended a phone call expect the only difference this time was that he hung up without saying it back.

The next afternoon Derek and Mark returned to their apartment after they had gone out for lunch. Mark saw a red light blinking on the answering machine and hit the button to hear who it was. Addison's voice filled the silence of the room, "Hi…" she paused. "Sorry, I was expecting you to be home. I wasn't really planning on having this conversation with your answering machine. I just got back from my appointment and I couldn't wait to talk to you, Derek. We're having a girl." She informed with an excited tone in her voice. "Call me when you can."

"Congratulations." Mark told his best friend with a slap on the back and a smile on his face. "In a few months you'll have a little girl who'll have you wrap around her tiny finger."

Derek nodded absently, trying to digest the news he had just received.

"You should call Addison, I'm sure she's waiting to hear from you. She's probably browsing catalogs for clothes already."

"I can't, not right now. I need time to think about this." He replied in an obvious panic.

"What's there to think about? She's your wife, she's pregnant with your daughter. End of story."

"I'm not really sure I was ready to be someone's husband and I'm sure as hell not ready to be someone's father. Do you have any idea how much responsibility that is? I can't handle all of that plus school." Derek rambled. "What the hell did I get myself into, Mark. What do I do now?"

"Derek, you promised her you wouldn't leave her alone. You promised you'd figure out a way to make this work. If you don't want to be a husband than you can get divorced but you cannot abandon your child. No matter how involved you are or are not, that child is always going to be yours. You can't run from that."

"Yeah, you're right…" Derek agreed although he wasn't sure how convinced he was. "I guess I'm just panicking because all of a sudden it's so real. I'll call Addison later and we'll figure it all out."

"You have to figure it out. You're Derek and Addison Shepherd. You guys made me wanna settle down and be in love with one steady woman. You make marriage and love and all of that look so simple."

"It's not." Derek mumbled. "It's never as simple as it looks."

Four Months Later

"Addison." Bizzy said softly as she entered Addison's hospital room with a smile on her face. "How are you doing?"

"I hate this! This is very uncomfortable. I am in pain and I have this stupid catheter because I need to pee every ten seconds and I can't do it like a normal person. It's humiliating!" she complained.

"Where is your husband?" Bizzy asked, looking around the room to see nothing that marked his presence.

"Derek is going to Columbia now. I tried calling him but I couldn't get through. I kept getting the machine at his apartment. And he isn't answering any of my pages. And Mark never bothers to look at his damn pager. I need Derek here, Bizzy. I need him."

"Okay, I'll try to get in touch with him. I'm sure he's in class or something. He knows you were due this week, he'll check his pages as soon as he can." Bizzy attempted to say something that would comfort her laboring daughter when she heard her scream in pain. She waited until Addison stopped groaning to ask, "What happen?"

"Contraction." She mumbled painfully. "It hurts, okay? It fucking hurts! And my damn doctor says it's too early for an epidural because I'm barely dilated. I hate this whole experience. I want my husband and I want drugs and I want them both right now!"

"Epidural wasn't so widely used when I had you and your brother. I felt everything including an episiotomy from hell. Just consider yourself lucky that you're not having children in the 70s." Bizzy replied with a smirk. "Not to mention that we weren't even allowed to have the child's father in the room with us back then. At least you have the option to have curse at him during it."

Addison blankly started at her mother. She felt an kick right in her ribs as the baby moved. "I want something for the pain." She whimpered desperately.

Four hours later Bizzy had managed to sneak away from Addison to get way from the yelling and hormonal fits of tears. She went to cafeteria of the hospital to get coffee even though she knew it would taste like mud. She just needed an excuse to escape Addison's room to figure out how to get in touch with Derek and think up a plan just in case she couldn't.

"Bizzy!" Susan exclaimed as she rushed toward Bizzy who was holding a cup of coffee while walking back to Addison's room. "I decided to try to call Derek since you haven't been getting through. He actually answered the phone at his apartment. I asked him why the hell he was still in New York when his wife is in New Haven having his child."

"When is he leaving to come here?" Bizzy asked.

"He's not." Susan mumbled. "He says he's not ready for any of this. He was ignoring all the calls but he got annoyed so he answered to tell us to leave him alone. He wants to enjoy his youth, he can't handle a wife and a child. He doesn't want anything to do with them."

"So he's leaving Addison alone to go throught his by herself." Bizzy rephrased somewhat numbly. For the first time in her life she felt a maternal sense of sympathy for her daughter. "How am I supposed to tell her something like that? She loves him, she's waiting for him."

"You need to tell her, Bizzy. She can't have false hope." Susan advised. "You need to tell her so she can figure out what she wants to do."

"How is she supposed to stay in school and raise this child alone?" Bizzy asked sympathetically. "She's been talking about medical school since she was seven. I don't want her to give up on her dream just because she fell in love with an ass-hole who didn't know what he was getting himself into…She doesn't deserve that. She's already got me for a mother. I've withheld enough love from her for one life time. Her husband was not supposed to do the same thing to her."

"Do you want me to tell her? I know you're not very close and a conversation like this may be awkward."

Bizzy shook her head. "She's my daughter. I should be the one to tell her." She mumbled nervously before walking into Addison's room. She walked beside the bed and took a seat on a chair placed next to it then released a heavy sigh.

With an epidural in effect, Addison turned to look at her mother who was sitting in the chair by her side. She sighed softly before asking, "Did you get in touch with Derek? Where is he?"

"I did manage to get a hold of him." Bizzy answered.

"Great." Addison cut in before she could go on. "Where is he? I need him here with me."

Bizzy took in a deep breath and sympathetically looked at her daughter. The two of them had never really been too close. Bizzy didn't approve of many of the choices her daughter had been making it but at that point in time she was willing to overlook it. She knew that Addison needed someone and that she needed to be that someone."There really is no easy way to tell you this, Addison. But; Derek isn't coming."

"But I need him here. I need Derek here. He's my husband, I'm about to have his baby. I'm terrified. I need him to hold my hand. I need him here. He's supposed to be here." She rambled nervously, looking at Bizzy with fear and tears shining in her eyes.

"I'll hold your hand, okay? You've got nothing to be afraid of, people do this every day. Your brother is out in the hall with Susan. I'm here. Your father will be here soon. We're all here for you. You are not alone."

"I want my husband." she whimpered. "When will he be here? Tomorrow? Did he say if he had a name in mind?"

"Addison, honey, you don't understand. He's never coming. He told me to tell you that he can't do this. He's not ready." her mother explained softly. "I'm sorry." She added as she grabbed Addison's hand and held onto it carefully so she wouldn't irritate the IV. She'd never provided any comfort for her daughter but there was a first time for everything.

NEW STORY! :D

This was part one of the prologue. And for those of you who are wondering why Addison couldn't call Derek's cell phone, that's because this is suppose to be in the late nineties when cell phones were just starting to become common. More people had pagers which is why I had everyone trying to page Derek and Mark. I'm a 90s child, I used to think pagers were the coolest thing ever...and now there are cell phones with Internet on them and pagers are extinct...wow, rambling about stupidity.

Review.