Pairings: GermanyxUkraine Crack!

Warnings: lime, minor lemon, language.

"I believe that America is in fact the best!" Groans filled the meeting room.

"Shut the bloody hell up! You're probably one of the youngest out of all of us!" shouted a thick-browed individual.

"My dear," chuckled a blonde with shoulder length locks. "We all know that France beats all of your butts."

More groans resounded throughout the room, and a certain blonde with slicked back hair was slowly losing his cool. He clenched and unclenched his hands. The knuckles of his already white skin paling by the minute. The Italian next to him tugged on his jacket continuously.

"Ve~ Germany? Are we almost done?" whined the auburn haired Italian. The German shut his icy blue eyes and rubbed his temples. America, England, and France were still arguing. Russia had begun bullying the small individual, Latvia, who was unfortunately seated beside him. Germany found this G8 meeting to be another complete failure. He would return to his country and much to the disappointment of his boss, with no new developments. A shrill scream pierced the air and everyone turned to see Italy being pinched by his brother South Italy.

"Germany!" shrieked North Italy. "Fratello pinched me!"

Germany was really losing it. His hands were beginning to shake and smoke was probably billowing from his ears at this point. He was about to lose it when a small calloused hand slipped into his own. He turned to see Ukraine smiling at him and giving him one of those 'it's ok; don't blow up on these idiots smile'. Germany smiled slightly. It was at times like these that he really treasured his 'friend with benefit' (a term he had learned from America), well more than usual. She sat next to her sister, Belarus, who was gazing intently at their brother Ivan/Russia. Germany closed his eyes and hoped that the meeting would end soon.

The countries all filed out of the meeting room grumbling about 'bloody Germans' except for a much stressed German. Germany rubbed his temples and began picking up his files; the meeting had been uneventful. Uneventful meaning that no issues were resolved. It was however quite eventful if one were to mention America being socked in the face by England and then having a full out fist fight between the two nations on top of the meeting room table. The countries immediately stopped their chatter and began placing wagers on who would end up victorious. Nobody won, however, for the German had reached over and hauled both of the nations on their feet. He had scolded the two and forced America to face one corner of the room and England to another. Everybody laughed under their breaths but stopped when Germany had sent his own brother, Prussia, to stand in a corner like a little schoolboy. One corner remained unfilled and stayed that way throughout the duration of the meeting. Germany did not like being strict but he couldn't help it. All the other countries acted like idiots except maybe for Japan, China, a bunch of other Asians, and of course, Ukraine. The rest were either freaks or creepers (Belarus and Russia). Germany put his head down on the table and relished the peace and quiet of the empty meeting room. A small click brought him to his senses. He held up his weary head only to be greeted with the sight of a girl with shortly cropped platinum blonde hair and massive breasts. A smile tugged at his lips and he raised his hand in greeting.

"Halloh Katyusha." He greeted in his deep booming voice. Ukraine blushed and tugged at her collar. Mein Gott! The girl's clothes were bursting. He smirked as he remembered the first time they had actually started a real conversation. Germany and Ukraine had met in the library (a surprising place to meet) and began flirting with one another. Pretty soon they were exchanging embraces and giving each other quick pecks on the lips. America had caught them once embracing and proceeded to ask in his unusually loud and obnoxious voice if they were, 'dating each other'. Ludwig had replied no; America had then dubbed them as 'friends with benefits'. He and Katyusha haven't even attempted a make-out session yet. Ludwig would enjoy running his hands on her heaving breasts and he dreamt of making his little Kitten mewl in pleasure. Oh yes. Ludwig thought about this. Katyusha approached him and put her hands on his shoulders. She massaged his tense shoulders and Ludwig sighed in relaxation. He grasped one of her small hands.

"Mein liebe?" murmured the German softly.

"Hmm?" The Ukrainian leaned in. Germany cocked his head to the right and pecked the Ukrainian's cheek. Katyusha blushed and let out a shaky breath.

"Ludwig?" she whispered as Ludwig pulled her onto his lap and began kissing her neck.

"Ja?" he rasped. Katyusha moaned slightly. Ludwig licked the shell of her earlobe. She shuddered in pleasure.

"I was talking to Belgium and she said…" Katyusha bit back a moan and continued, breathlessly, "…she said that you were cute, Ludwig… and she said she wanted to kiss you and I got kind of mad… and so I was wondering… what are we?"

Ludwig removed his face from her neck and looked straight into her cloudy blue eyes. He frowned slightly, his perfect eyebrows creasing. Katyusha bit her lip expectantly.

"I do not know…" murmured Ludwig. "We have not 'touched' each other in any way that happens only in relationships."

Katyusha sighed sadly. Ludwig put his hand on the nape of her neck and kissed her in a tantalizing way. He pulled away, smirking slightly.

"But that can change..." he growled. Katyusha barely had time to react before Ludwig smashed his lips against her. His lips moved against her and Katyusha found herself unable to keep up with his ravishing. She gasped slightly as one of his hands grabbed her ass and hoisted her up more onto his lap. As she gasped, Ludwig thrust his tongue into her mouth, mimicking what he wanted to do to her. His tongue rubbed against hers and Katyusha found herself rubbing up against his hard abdomen to help alleviate the burning sensation she felt. But instead of helping, Katyusha felt herself getting hotter and her breasts felt heavier by the second. Ludwig groaned at the friction between their bodies, his erection strained against the tight material of his linen pants. Her hands reached up and tangled themselves in his slicked back blonde hair, mussing it up. Her hands desperately tried to remove his tie, while his large hands busied themselves with her buttons. Ludwig picked up the Ukrainian and put her on top of the meeting table. She rubbed herself against him like a cat in heat which immediately made the German's erection harden even more. Her cloudy blue eyes which were filled with lust widened at the sight of the giant that was attempting to leave Ludwig's pants. Ludwig chuckled and a malicious glint sparked in his eyes.

"Mein Kätzchen, tun Sie dies genießen?" he asked as he ground his pelvis against hers. Katyusha cried out in pleasure and wrapped her legs around Ludwig's waist, an attempt to keep him close. Ludwig's hair was falling out of its usual slicked back fashion. His long blonde bangs fell down on his face making him look years younger. Katyusha smiled. She loved Ludwig with his hair down. With his hair down, he seemed more approachable and less intimidating. Ludwig ground down on his teeth and ground his pelvis against Ukraine once more. The Ukrainian was burning and she reached up to strip the German of his coat. She threw the coat on the floor followed by his tie. She fumbled with his buttons and let out a whine of frustration. Ludwig smirked and assisted her with his buttons. With each snap of a button, Katyusha was treated to the sight of Ludwig's hard toned flesh. She ran her fingers lightly across his chest and watched as Ludwig closed his eyes and shivered. Ludwig leaned over and kissed the Ukrainian. This time, though, without the harshness. His lips massaged hers and savored her taste. Katyusha moaned against his mouth and Ludwig slanted is head to get better access of her mouth. Katyusha was attempting to remove Ludwig's unbuttoned polo when-

Bang!

Spectacled blue eyes looked at the sight that lay before them. A Ukrainian with her shirt buttons unbuttoned whose legs were wrapped tightly around a nearly naked German's pelvis. The two were in the middle of an intense make-out session. America's mouth opened so wide that he was sure that he could eat 6000000000000000 burgers.

"Oh my Gosh! You guys are banging each other!" shouted the American. Ludwig removed himself from the Ukrainian and cleared his throat. Katyusha gasped and covered her chest with her arms.

"It's not what you think…" the German tried to explain. America waggled an eyebrow.

"I'm obnoxious but not stupid, Germany!" he winked. The German reddened in unison with the Ukrainian. The American backed up towards the door.

"I won't tell anyone." Smirked the American. "In fact, I'm gonna leave you two alone! Oh! And do it on England's spot on the table! "

Ludwig looked at him, puzzled.

"Ahhh, Germany! Everyone knows you need to get laid. You're so pissed all the time…" grumbled the American. Germany raised one eyebrow and the American chuckled. He opened the door and ran away. Ludwig looked at the door expecting the American to return with his buddies and poke fun at them. But he never came. Ludwig settled back between Katyusha's legs. She smiled and he kissed her nose lightly.

"Let's say we take this home, mein liebe?" suggested the German. Katyusha smiled kissed the German and pulled back.

"Yes."

A/N: Please R&R