THIS IS A PARODY OFFICIAL RELEASE SUPPORT NAGARU TANIGAWA!

As well as Kakifly, Kagami Yoshimizu, and KyoAni.

I Wanna be the Master

The morning of her sixteenth birthday, Hirasawa Yui happily put on her coat and ran out the door with a piece of toast in her mouth. With a few words, "I'll see you all in the summer!" she was out the door, off on her grand adventure.

As she ran up the hill, grass and flowers came into view, separated from the town by a tall fence. Beside the gate leading out, there was a wooden warning sign. Of course, the sign went unnoticed, as the girl happily jumped outside the boundaries of her hometown.

Taking the time to waltz in the open meadow, she failed to notice rustling in the grass, until it was far too late. Seeing a creature in the patch of grass next to her, she screamed as she tried to make it to safety. Even as she ran, she could sense the creature gaining on her, when a hand reached from over the fence and pulled her to safety.

Yui did not even have time to catch her breath before her savior began berating her for her reckless behavior.

"Do you have ANY idea what could've happened to you out there? That thing you met in the field is the reason we have a gate separating the town from the outside."

Panting, Yui looked up at her savior to discover that it was the eccentric Professor Sawako, her neighbor for many years.

"What was that?" She asked between breaths.

Sawako looked at her in surprise. "You don't know anything about them? I'm sure you have heard some stories. You know, kid forgets to lock the gate, next morning the whole family is passed out, blood covering the walls and their faces. That kinda stuff?"

Yui just looked at her in horror, "What kind of stories have you been reading, sensei?"

"I see… I take it you are homeschooled then?"

"Yes. I was always fairly sheltered in my learning. The only friend I've really had is your niece, Haruhi. She was always going on about some great adventure she would start on her sixteenth birthday, so I figured that when I turned sixteen I would start an adventure too."

Nodding her head, Sawako made an executive decision and decided she should prepare the girl for her upcoming journey.

"Alright. What I'm about to tell you will be shocking, maybe disturbing. But for you to go on your journey without this information would be insane. Are you sure you're ready?"

Yui nodded her head, a curious look in her eye.

"Before I tell you, there is one last thing I need to know."

Staring long and hard at Yui, Sawako finally spoke.

"Are you a boy? Or a girl?"

"I'm a gi- SENSEI! HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN ME?" Yui cried, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Haha, I'm just kidding. It's just a tradition we do. Anyways, onto what's important. There are beings in this world known as Moémon, beings so cute, if you're unprepared they can make your head explode. Those stories I told you about, those families all passed out from blood loss because of the sheer amount of blood pumped out of their noses."

Pausing to catch her breath, Sawako noticed Yui had a comment.

"Sensei… that has got to be the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard."

Sighing, Sawako pulled a small orange and white ball from her pocket.

"Show her, Mugi-chan."

In a flash of white light, a blond-haired girl popped out of the ball, turned to Yui and asked her sweetly: "Would you care for some tea?"

Without turning around, Sawako asked: "Do you understand now, Yui?"

There was no answer. Where Yui was once standing was a small fountain of blood, as the girl lay passed out on the floor.

*"*"*"*"*

"Ugh… why do I feel so light headed?"

Yui woke up in a grey room, surrounded by whirring machinery and people in lab coats. Sawako walked up to her and replied:

"You passed out after a nosebleed. Luckily, you didn't lose too much, or we would have needed a transfusion. Now, to continue with my explanation from earlier, the only way to fight Moémon is to fight cuteness with even more overwhelming cuteness. I have one more Moémon, so think of her as a gift from me."

Walking beside Yui's bed, Sawako popped open another one of the orange balls. Yui quickly averted her eyes to avoid another catastrophe.

"No worries Yui, she hasn't unlocked her moé potential yet, so she's safe to look at."

Yui turned around to face a tall, black haired girl, peering at her. Straightening herself, the girl turned to Sawako.

"Thanks for letting me out of that little thing, Doc. You wouldn't believe how cramped it is in there with these."

The girl pointed at her chest, at which Yui stared with envy. Pulling her eyes away with some trouble, Yui turned to Sawako again.

"Sensei, what's her name?"

"Well… her name is Mio. But you can give her another one."

"Really? Hmmm…"

"… Yui, I have a great idea for a name. How about you name her Chesticles?"

"Woah, wait Doc, I like Mio just fi-"

"CHESTICLES IT IS. Thanks Sensei!" Yui cheered.

"What the fuu-"

YUI has received CHESTICLES

*"*"*"*"*

"So Chesticles, what sort of techniques do you know right now?"

"…I'm not talking to you."

The two were walking down the grassy path outside Yui's hometown. Aside from her fateful encounter that morning, Yui had not met any more moémon on her way. Then again, she was skirting clear of every patch of grass she saw.

Suddenly, a shout came from behind her.

"Hey miss! I see you with your moémon! You must think you're better than me!"

A little boy who looked no older than 10 ran up to Yui, who had a confused expression on her face.

"N-no, I don't think I'm better than you. I'm still a little confused by everything…" Yui managed.

"SO YOU WANT A CHALLENGE THEN?" The boy continued, now screaming at the top of his lungs.

"Um… Yui? I think this kid might be a little crazy." Chesticles whispered into Yui's ear.

"I guess… we'll just have to beat him and keep going right?"

Turning around, Yui confronted the boy.

"All right, I accept your challenge. Prepare yourself!"

"Don't think I'll go down easily! Go, Felicia!"

The boy threw out an orange ball, and out of it came a girl with a long mane of blue hair, claws, and a cat's tail.

"Um... Chesticles? Now would be a very good time to tell me what you know."

A/N: I think that this has been done a million times over, but what the heck. JOIN THE MASSES. No, this isn't the full chapter. I was planning to post it all in one nice document, but I'm going to be away on vacation for the next few weeks, so I decided to post what was written (complete with convenient cliffhanger!)

Anyways, I hope you guys have a nice spring break (if you have one) and I'll see you all in a few weeks.

And while I'm here, Happy 1 year fiction-versary! That's right! This story has been on this site for a full year! Exclamation points for everybody!