December 20, 2010

As I took that last look back at my now ex-girlfriend, she couldn't even make eye contact with me. I had taken away her and her friend's success. I wasn't what a boyfriend should be. I couldn't stay there any longer. It wasn't where I was supposed to be. I kept on walking out of the prop house, where I thought I could never step foot in again. Now nobody from So Random! would ever show me a soft side. Her words echoed in my head,

You won the recount but you lost me…

How could I be so stupid? Why would I let something as stupid as I get in the way of the only girl I actually felt committed to? I'm not the type of guy who does those things, actually has a devoted relationship. But when Sonny came up to me that day, something came over me… I couldn't think this way anymore, the tears in my eyes were building up, and it was too much for me. Yes, I was crying. I was crying that I was dumb enough to actually put my happiness before Sonny's, and that now she was no longer m'lady. The only person I could relate myself to was Mackenzie. I know, I know… why more of me when that's what got me into this mess? But… it brought me back to the first day of our relationship. The words repeated over and over…

24 hours ago I fell in love with a guy named Mackenzie… and you Chad are no… MACKENZIE!

You asked which hurt more, you being over the falls or you canceling our date… and it was definitely you canceling our date, not a toughie at all… Thanks… that was very MACKENZIE of you...

Fell in love… huh? What features did Mackenzie have? Trust, loyalty, altruistic, romantic… wait… what was that last one? Altruistic? For those of you who don't know… that basically means… unselfish. I think someone could trust me, and I think I was really loyal to Sonny, never even put thought to other girls, and romantic, I think I got that category pretty much locked up, huh? But unselfish, no way… not me. That was one thing I had to change.

I step foot into the cafeteria. Balloons and confetti of all different colors sprung out at me. The face that everyone in there had, was the reverse of mine. Their smiles read laughter, joy and excitement, and my frown read misery, hopelessness, and despair.

"Congrats Chad you saved us!" yelled Chloe.

"Yeah Chad you did it, 6 years in a row!" Trevor screamed. My facial expression remained as it was. Everyone looked worried. What had happened to their egotistic, proud leader? Chloe stood up and stood up next to me.

"What? Are you upset about something?" she asked.

"She… she…" Chloe put her arm around my shoulder and walked me to a chair. I sat down, and just like that, I fell apart. My eyes were full of tears, I couldn't sit up right, I couldn't even look at the congratulations table because I knew if I took one look of that guilt on a table that I would pass out.

Chloe whispered something to my cast mates and they all walked out of the room. Once they left, Chloe and I were left alone.

"Chad? What happened to you?" she asked. I looked up from my tears and stated,

"She happened… love happened…" Once again my head dropped in despair.

"You, Chad Dylan Cooper, loved Sonny Munroe?" I nodded. I did love her. Correction, I do love her.

"Wow… you've never felt that way about anyone… have you?" I shook my head.

"She… she was so important to me… never once did I ever want to lose her… and yet… here I am…"

"Chad…" I stood up with anger.

"UGGGHHH! WHY WAS I SO STUPID?" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "I JUST HAD TO PUT MYSELF INFRONT OF HER! WHY? HUH? SO WE COULD WIN THIS FOR THE SIXTH YEAR IN A ROW? I HATE WHAT I'VE BECOME WITHOUT HER! I HATE IT!" I was panting and I bowed my head. All the depression left and turned into anger, now the anger left and now… determination.

"Chad? Calm down… it's gonna be ok…" Chloe reassured me. I looked up.

"I can tell you one thing, it's definitely not going to be good…" I walked out of the commissary as Chloe yelled,

"What are you doing?" I turned back and said eleven more words.

"I'm getting m'lady back if it's the last thing I do…"