Title: My Funny Valentine
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: T for suggestiveness.
Summary: Sometimes even the best-laid plans don't go the way they're expected to. Shameless Valentine's Day fluff!
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. They are property of Shonda Rhimes, ShondaLand, and ABC. This story is intended for entertainment purposes only and I do not profit from it.

When she was in second grade, Arizona had eagerly decorated the Valentine box that would sit proudly on her desk, awaiting her classmates' Valentine cards. Because she moved around so much, she'd only been at the school for a few weeks, but eight-year-old Arizona, with platinum-blonde curls, big, sparkling blue eyes, and those dimples that were always on display because she smiled at everyone, was impossible to resist, and she'd already made a decent number of friends. Plus, it didn't hurt that her teacher had made the rule that if you were going to give out Valentines, you had to give them to everyone in the class. Arizona figured the rule was for people like her, who were new in school and maybe wouldn't get many otherwise. The rule was also for people like Neil Stanley, who still couldn't say the letter R and smelled a little like wet dog.

After decorating her Valentine's Day drop box with as much pink tissue paper as she could find, Arizona had stayed up past her bedtime on February 13th, painstakingly cranking out twenty Valentines. That included one for her teacher, whom Arizona thought was super pretty. With the precise, steady hands of a future surgeon, she pasted the red hearts she'd cut out, pink lace, and lots of glitter to each square of paper before writing, in the cursive handwriting she'd just mastered, Dear _, happy Valentine's Day! From Arizona. She made sure to give Neil Stanley extra glitter.

In school the next day, Arizona received eighteen Valentines, two boxes of candy hearts, a handful of chocolate, and a red heart-shaped lollipop. Her teacher gave store-bought Valentines with pictures of Looney Tunes characters on them to everyone, but Arizona was sure she'd gotten Lola Bunny for a reason. It was the best Valentine's Day ever.

Of course, as she'd gotten older, the bar had risen a little higher. And then she'd met Callie and realized she needed an entirely new bar.

Arizona had had other girlfriends – even other Valentine's Day girlfriends, which she considered to be a pretty big deal. Nearly all of them had been great. But the first Valentine's Day she spent with Callie – both fanciful and completely laid-back and comfortable – made all the ones before it pale in comparison. Even that one back in second grade. Of course, the fact that Mark had climbed into bed with them was a little…unconventional, but at the end of the day, Arizona and Callie had each other, not to mention matching heart necklaces: physical reminders of the love they shared.

This year, while Arizona couldn't finagle the day off, she and Callie were both free in the evening. The plan was for Callie, who did have the day off, to stop by the hospital after Arizona's shift, pick her up, and take her to a yet-to-be-revealed location for a romantic dinner. Then they would go home, shed all pretense – and clothing – and lavish each other with Valentine's affection all night. Arizona couldn't wait. She didn't know where Callie was taking her, but she always loved when her girlfriend whisked her off, and she knew this would be no different. Plus, Callie had promised to wear the very dark red, very form-fitting, very drool-worthy dress that Arizona absolutely adored on her. Fingering the pendant around her neck, she smiled to herself before pushing off on her wheels to her last surgery of the day.

The surgery, while ultimately successful, had been touch-and-go for a little while, and it had taken longer than Arizona anticipated. She showered quickly and dressed in record time, pulling on a soft pink dress that Callie had never seen. It was almost more of an Easter dress than a Valentine's Day dress, but if anyone could make that work, it was Arizona. It had a ruffled collar that fell right at the tops of her breasts, and while it wasn't terribly low-cut or short, it swooped low in the back and had the thinnest straps Arizona could imagine a dress having. It clung to her chest and hips and flowed over the rest of her body like a silky pink waterfall. The silver, open-toed shoes she'd chosen matched her heart necklace perfectly, and her earrings – simple sterling silver strands – completed the outfit. With a light brushing of makeup and a quick pinning-up of her hair, Arizona was ready to go and more than ready for Callie to give her the appreciative wide-eyed stare she so loved. Good lord, Callie wasn't even in the room and Arizona could feel the flush starting at the base of her neck. The things that woman could do to her!

Except…where was she? Even despite her fast shower and even faster dressing-up, Arizona was still running nearly ten minutes late. And Callie was nowhere to be seen. She checked her watch just to be sure, and then she checked it against the clock on her phone, just to be extra sure. Both clocks were in sync with each other, and now Callie was eleven minutes late. Arizona sat down on the locker room bench and took her bottom lip between her teeth. Maybe this was all part of Callie's plan – keep her waiting and then suddenly swoop in, blindfold her, and whisk her away. It did seem like something Callie might do, now that she thought about it. But still, now she was thirteen minutes late and Callie had been explicit in stating that they had seven o'clock reservations. Unless she'd lied about that and it was also part of the plan…Arizona dropped her head to her hands. She was clearly losing her mind.

Arizona's head shot up when the locker room door burst open. She was already on her feet, comment about how gorgeous Callie looked ready on her tongue, when she came face-to-face with Teddy.

"You-what-you-you're not Callie," Arizona stuttered.

"Gee, thanks for noticing," Teddy joked. "You've always been so perceptive."

"You're supposed to be Callie!" Arizona was vaguely aware that she was pouting, but she didn't really care anymore. Callie was now sixteen minutes late and Arizona couldn't decide whether to be caught up in the suspense or flat-out angry. "She was supposed to be here sixteen minutes ago and you were supposed to be her walking through the door, apologizing for being late and telling me how hot I look!"

"You do look hot, if it's any consolation," Teddy promised. "I'm sorry I'm not your girlfriend. And before you ask, I have not seen her, heard from her, or run into anyone who has."

Arizona sighed and plopped back down on the bench. "A lot of help you are." Finally going for broke, she pulled her phone out of her purse and hit Callie's speed dial. It rang five times and went to voice mail. "She's not answering!"

"Maybe she's showering," Teddy supplied as she grabbed a fresh pair of scrubs from her locker. "Maybe she's getting dressed or running down the stairs or…I don't know, buying you flowers."

"She's supposed to have done all that already!" Arizona whined. "If she's running damage control for Mark again, I swear to God…"

"Relax. Mark's here. I just saw him. He tried to ask me something about a tie."

"Mark's wearing a tie?" Arizona's preoccupation was momentarily forgotten as she latched onto Teddy's gossip. "He is wearing…other clothes, right? This isn't like a…Chippendales thing or anything?"

Teddy laughed heartily. "No, he's wearing a suit. And a Valentine's tie."

"You're kidding. Is it pink? Does it have hearts on it?"

"He was trying to decide between two when I saw him. One was pink and shiny. The other had hearts and was…also shiny."

"It's a good thing he's dating Lexie." Arizona shook her head. "I think she's the only woman who would appreciate it." Teddy laughed again, and Arizona joined in, but once their giggles died down, Arizona glanced at her watch again and saw that Callie was now twenty-one minutes…make that twenty-two minutes…late. "Damn it!" she cried. She tried calling again. Still no answer. "What the hell?"

Teddy sighed. "I'm sure…there's a perfectly good…reason." She had tried to go for reassuring, but it came out much more uncertain. If she were in Arizona's position, she'd be in decidedly worse shape. As it was, she was spending another Valentine's Day evening in the company of a bunch of doe-eyed interns in a sterile operating room, but it did beat spending the night alone on her couch. And cutting into a heart on Valentine's Day was the best poetic justice she could think of.

"Reason my ass," Arizona muttered to herself, starting for the door. "Sorry, Teddy. It's not your fault. Have a good surgery. Happy Valentine's." With that, she threw the door open and marched as effectively as she could in her silver heels down the hallway.

Despite the sharp pain it caused her heel-clad feet, Arizona opted to take the stairs to the apartment she shared with Callie in favor of finishing the angry speech she planned on delivering to her no-show girlfriend. The apartment door was unlocked, which meant Callie was home. Oh, she was in so much trouble.

"Callie!" Arizona cut right to the chase, using what she'd come to call her "angry name" for her girlfriend. "What the hell? Do you know what time it is?"

"Huh?" Callie came stumbling into the living room, pulling on one of her shoes. "Am I late?"

"Are you late?" Arizona's voice was nearing a decibel level only dogs could hear. "Are you late? Yes, you are late! You are nearly half an hour late! You were the one who said we had reservations at seven! I waited for you! I've been waiting since six and it's practically six-thirty and I called you twice! So yes, Callie, yes. You are late!"

"Sorry. I'm sorry. Come on, let's go." Callie took a step forward, barely seeing Arizona in all her pink and silver hotness.

"You're sorry? That's it? You're just…sorry? You do not stand someone up, on Valentine's Day, and then just say –"

At first, Arizona didn't even register why she'd stopped talking. She knew, in the back of her head, that something had stopped her, but it took her brain a second to catch up and figure out what it was. And then, as she processed, she heard it again. It was so quiet it was barely there, but she'd heard it: a tiny whimper of pain that Callie tried to disguise as clearing her throat.

And then, as the anger began to recede from her eyes, Arizona saw Callie, really saw her. She was wearing the red dress, as promised, along with a pair of pointy black heels, and her hair was piled on top of her head just the way Arizona liked it. But her makeup was smudged and her eyes were bloodshot and unfocused. And even with all the blush she had on, Arizona could tell her girlfriend's complexion was paler than usual. Callie looked hot, but she looked like crap.

Arizona's voice dropped back to its normal octave and her eyes changed from flashing with anger to sparkling with concern. "Are you…"

"I'm fine," Callie assured her, though not at all convincingly. "I'm good. I'm sorry I'm late. We can still make our reservations if we –" She coughed, effectively interrupting herself and making her argument even less convincing.

"You're sick," Arizona said slowly, realization fully dawning on her. She reached out to touch Callie's shoulder, but Callie pulled away and made to keep moving toward the door.

"I'm fine," she insisted.

This time Arizona moved faster, maneuvering around Callie's attempts to get her out of the way, and flattened her palm against her forehead. "Calliope, you're burning up," she said softly. "Oh, sweetie."

Callie leaned into Arizona's hand, loving how cool it felt against her fevered skin. The bottom half of her body was uncomfortably cold, but even the doctor in her couldn't quite make sense of that one. "It's probably just a cold," she argued feebly, determined to go on this Valentine's date if it killed her. "It's Valentine's Day. We have to go."

Arizona opened her mouth to protest, but Callie beat her to it. "…Right after I throw up," she mumbled, whirling around and running to the bathroom. Arizona's heart sank – it literally felt like a lead weight in her chest – not out of disappointment, but because she hated seeing Callie in such obvious discomfort. And she'd yelled at her. The poor woman was sick and Arizona had burst into the apartment yelling about how insensitive she was. The sound of Callie gagging snapped Arizona back into the moment and she followed her girlfriend, slipping out of her shoes as she went.

Pressing a cool washcloth to Callie's face and wiping it clean of sweat and smudged makeup, Arizona reached up with her free hand and began disassembling Callie's hairstyle. "This is not just a cold," she said as she smoothed freed strands of hair down her girlfriend's neck and back. "And the only place you're going is bed."

"But it's Valentine's Day," Callie all but whispered, head still positioned over the toilet bowl. "And you…you look really hot."

"I know," Arizona chuckled. "And trust me, even when your makeup is smudged and you're running a fever and puking your guts out, you're still the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. But we'll still be hot and gorgeous another night, when you're all better."

Callie pushed herself away from the toilet, flushing it as she went, and moved so she was leaning against the shower stall. She sniffled and then coughed again. "I think I'm sick."

Arizona made a sound that was half amused laugh and half sympathetic murmur. "I know, baby," she said, extending her arm to help Callie up off the floor. "Come on. We're putting you to bed."

How Callie, in her fever-induced haze, managed to remove her shoes, unzip her dress, take out her earrings, and change into her pajamas was completely beyond Arizona's comprehension. The act must have taken her last modicum of strength, because before Arizona could pull back the covers, she had collapsed on top of them. It took some maneuvering, but Arizona managed to pull the blankets out from underneath Callie's tired body and rearrange them over her.

"I'm just going to wash my face and change," Arizona whispered, pressing a quick kiss to Callie's forehead. "I'll be right back."

"Mmkay." Callie was barely awake. Between throwing up and coughing, and not to mention getting in and back out of a very tight dress, her attempts to go on this date anyway had sacked all the energy from her. All of a sudden, she wanted nothing more than to close her eyes and sleep for days on end. Still, she was determined to stay awake at least until Arizona came back. She had a feeling her girlfriend's presence was the only thing that would make her feel even remotely better. All of Callie's plans had been ruined by one stupid, tiny virus, but if Arizona would get back into bed and cuddle with her, maybe the night could be salvaged yet.

As if on cue, Arizona slid into bed beside Callie, propping herself up on the pillows so she was half-sitting, half lying down. Callie moved and laid her head in Arizona's lap, and Arizona immediately began stroking Callie's hair and tracing random patterns with her fingers across her neck and shoulders. "I'm sorry I yelled at you," she said almost reverently. "I…I'm just sorry, Calliope. I shouldn't have yelled."

"'S'okay," Callie said, her voice slightly muffled by Arizona's lap. "I'd have been mad too." A brief moment of comfortable silence passed over them before Callie moaned and declared, "I feel like crap."

"I know," Arizona whispered, wishing there was something she could do to ease Callie's pain. "Hey," she said, her face brightening a little. "Apparently Mark's wearing a Valentine's tie."

"Really?" Callie croaked, lifting her head the tiniest bit to try to look into Arizona's eyes. Finding nothing but truth, she lay her head back down. "Well, Lexie will probably appreciate it."

"That's what I said!" Arizona exclaimed. She felt Callie smile. "I love when we think the same thoughts."

"Me too," Callie agreed. "God!" she groaned after another second of silence. "My whole body hurts!"

"Shh," Arizona soothed, pressing a little harder with her fingers on Callie's shoulders and leaning over to place kisses on the top of her head. "You're okay. I've got you. Just try to relax." She traced a heart with her index finger on Callie's shoulder. "Do you want some Tylenol?" Callie made a small noise of agreement. She was vaguely aware of how pathetic she sounded, but she was past caring at this point. As much as she didn't want Arizona to get up, she wanted the drugs.

And…something else, she realized, smiling to herself as she realized the night could be salvaged even more. "Arizona?"

"Hmm?"

"While you're up, can you bring me my jacket?" Arizona had no idea why Callie would want her jacket – if she was cold, she could just pile another blanket onto the bed – but Arizona had learned quickly that arguing with a sick person got her nowhere and arguing with a sick Callie usually got her nowhere even faster.

Arizona returned to the bedroom a moment later with two pills, a glass of water, and Callie's jacket. Callie sat up just enough to swallow the pills and some water and then collapsed back into the bed. While Arizona walked around to her side, Callie made a quick grab for what she knew was in her jacket's deep pocket.

"Arizona?" Callie asked, snuggling as close to her girlfriend as she could get once she was back in bed.

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry I screwed up our date."

"Oh, Calliope, no. Don't apologize. This is not your fault."

"Still. It's Valentine's Day."

"It's just a date on the calendar," Arizona reassured her, resuming her earlier activity of running her fingers through Callie's hair. Callie murmured appreciatively at the gesture. "I just wanted to be with you tonight, and I am. All you need to worry about is getting better."

"Arizona?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, sweetheart. So, so much."

"And you looked really, really hot in that dress."

"Now you're just sweet-talking me," Arizona joked.

A couple minutes passed in silence and Arizona was sure Callie, feverish and exhausted, had fallen asleep. "Arizona?"

"Yes?"

"You wanna marry me?"

Arizona's fingers stilled in Callie's hair. "What?" When she looked down to gauge Callie's facial expression – maybe it was the fever talking, after all – Callie was holding a ring in her hand. Arizona's free hand flew to her mouth and her eyes widened impossibly. "Oh my god."

"I was gonna do it tonight at the restaurant," Callie explained. "It was going to be perfect. This…this isn't exactly the same."

"No," Arizona breathed, removing her hand from her mouth and bringing it down to touch the ring in Callie's palm. "No, it's much better."

"It is?" Callie's voice was suddenly choked, and it wasn't because of her flu symptoms. "So…"

"Without a doubt, Calliope, yes." Arizona couldn't control the wild grin taking over her face. The dimples were out in full force. A joyous laugh bubbled up in her chest, and it spilled out along with a flood of happy tears. "You just proposed to me!" she cried. "And I said yes!"

"You said yes!" Callie repeated with a newfound enthusiasm. "You said yes. You said –" She broke into a fit of coughs, interspersed with laughter and giddy crying.

"I said yes," Arizona said, "and I will say it a thousand more times if you want me to. I love you, Calliope, I love you endlessly, and I want more than anything to marry you."

No more words were needed. Arizona stared into Callie's eyes and Callie stared back, each memorizing the other's face in this exact moment. The air around them filled with the combined scent of Arizona's lavender perfume and the sweat that still lingered on Callie's body, and neither could imagine a more enticing aroma. Surprising both of them, Callie reached up and pulled Arizona back down to her in a deep, soulful kiss. Callie could've had mono for all Arizona cared; she kissed back with all she was worth, running her tongue along her girlfriend's lips before finally parting them. Their lips crashed together with abandon as their tongues stroked each other. Only when Callie couldn't hold back her cough anymore did they separate.

"So," Callie teased once her cough subsided, "are you gonna put the ring on, or are you just gonna hold it all night?"

Arizona laughed and held the ring out in front of her, really looking at it for the first time. She gasped as she did. The ring was a simple silver band, but on it, in place of a stone, sat a tiny diamond outline of a heart. If Arizona had been asked to design her dream engagement ring, it wouldn't have held a candle to the one she held in her hand. Finally sliding it onto her finger, she marveled at the perfect fit and, once again, at how well Callie knew her. "It's perfect," she said. "It's perfect. You're perfect. I…thank you." Both of them stared at the ring on Arizona's finger for a few minutes. "How's the pain?"

"What pain?" Callie asked distractedly. Arizona was seriously amazing at curing whatever ailed her. Her headache cure was one for the books, and this…this moment of happiness she was sharing with Arizona completely erased all of the pain and discomfort from her body.

Arizona nodded. "That's what I thought." She raked her eyes over Callie's body – still achingly beautiful, despite being heaped in blankets and ravaged by flu germs. "Just so you know," she said, "as soon as your fever is gone, I plan on making love to you. I plan on ravishing you. Painfully slowly at first, then hard and fast…and then slowly again." Callie shivered under her blankets. "So just…hurry up and get better."

"Duly noted," Callie husked. Then she yawned and coughed again.

"Alright, you need sleep," Arizona declared. "Come here." She opened her arms and Callie tucked herself back into them, wrapping her arms around Arizona's middle and resting her head on her chest. "How do you feel, honestly?"

"Still like crap," Callie conceded. "The pills are helping a little. You're helping a lot."

"Do you think you'll be able to sleep?"

"Mm," Callie murmured, already halfway there. "Talk to me. Tell me about your day."

"Well," Arizona drawled, turning out the light on her bedside table and resuming the steady, soothing motion of her fingers in Callie's hair, "I got engaged today." Callie giggled. "I got engaged to the most amazing, wonderful, gorgeous woman. It was totally the best Valentine's Day ever. Even better than last year." Callie sighed contentedly, the remaining pain in her head, stomach, and everywhere else fading away. "Even better than the awesome Valentine's Day I had in second grade. Did I ever tell you about that?"

As Arizona spoke, she focused partly on her words, but more on the woman in her arms who had completely melted into her and was beginning to snore softly. She couldn't believe how deeply she loved her; how she fell more and more in love with her every day. And now they were engaged. If Arizona caught whatever Callie had come down with, it would be totally worth it.

It was just barely eight o'clock and Arizona was too excited to sleep. But for Callie, she would try, and if sleep still didn't come, she would happily lie here without moving until Callie woke up.

Her eye catching on the absolutely perfect ring on her finger, Arizona wondered at the fact that sometimes even the best-laid plans didn't go the way they were expected to. She smiled to herself and nuzzled her cheek against the top of Callie's head. Sometimes they were much, much better.