AN: I haven't abandoned Taken, this little drabble came to mind after watching Lauren, spoilers for Lauren below so proceed at your own risk. Just a little plot bunny, interested to know what you think. No beta reader, so any grammatical errors are typos are my own.

Disclaimer: As always no affiliation or ownership related to CBS, Criminal Minds, or characters of the show, if so JJ would have never left to be replaced by whatshername. This will likely be short, maybe 3 chapters tops.

Chapter 1:

Hotch glanced at the clock yet again as he waited, settling further into the sofa in his living room trying to occupy his mind with something besides worry over JJ and Prentiss, he had wanted to accompany JJ to the meeting even though he knew the state department could well take care of their own and would not send her out without backup. That knowledge however did not stop the nagging feeling in his stomach of what could happen if Doyle had found out the truth and found Emily while she was with JJ getting the documents she needed to successfully disappear.

He took another sip of alcohol, almost wishing for a moment that he had not let Jack go to his aunt Jessica's house that night, the quiet of the house seemed almost unnatural, doing nothing to calm his mind. Hotch felt a wave of relief as he heard the car door slam and was there with door open when JJ came up the walk, looking as tired and drained as he felt. She walked in wordlessly, with only a small expression of thanks as he handed her a beverage he had already prepared in anticipation of her arrival. They sat in the silent room, the faint ticking of the clock the only noise they heard until finally he spoke.

"I assume everything went as planned?" He asked in a low voice, knowing it likely had but wanting to hear the confirmation for himself.

"Yes , everything seems to be going like anticipated." JJ answered evenly as she ran her fingers through her hair as she reached to get a refill, obviously feeling burdened rather than relieved. Hotch watched her for a moment, observing the slight shakiness in her hands, and even though knowing this probably wasn't the best time decided to pursue the obvious signs of distress. "So what's wrong?" He asked compassionately as he moved to sit closer to her, allowing her to draw some comfort off his nearness.

"I'm a liar," she almost spat out angrily to his question, taking him by surprise. "I hate lying to the team, putting them through unnecessary grief." She continued, her self- loathing evident. Hotch waited for a minute to see if any more followed but as the silence stretched he began to speak again. "She may not be dead, but she is still gone from the team, you know they would still grieve over that, much the way as they did after you left."

"Thanks for that reminder," she said bitterly, "so I've hurt them twice now." Hotch opened his mouth to correct his statement but this time she wasn't finished. "There's a difference in grieving over ones absence when you know you can still see them, then when you think they're dead." She pointed out the obvious, anger still evident in her voice. "I told the team one of their best friends was dead, you saw the pain they suffered," she continued. Hotch nodded, having observed first-hand the devastated responses, especially Reid who had broken down and openly wept on JJ's shoulder. Hotch had also felt a small jab of guilt over that, the young genius had already suffered enough stress and trauma in his life and didn't need this to push him closer to the boundaries of a breakdown.

"What do you want to do, tell them?" He asked, choosing to look at any potential solutions rather than ruminating over what had already transpired.

"I would love to, but I know I can't." She responded, a tear finding it's way down her cheek. Overall it's the best for the safety of the team and for Prentiss. My superiors would also not be happy if I broke that protocol. "I know it's what has to be done, just doesn't mean I like it." She sighed deeply as she verbally accepted her choice aloud for the first time.

Hotch nodded in agreement, having reached the same conclusion earlier while he was grappling with the same feelings of guilt. Even though it had been the call of the state department he had gone along with it and played his part in the deception. Hotch had even take a few moments alone with JJ beforehand to coach her on how to tell the lie to the team of profilers. Though Hotch had reluctantly agreed with her bitter remark that they probably would not look closely at her body language due to their trust in their friend and former media liaison, even though he knew that would not help her feel better, but it did help make the pain on her face even more genuine as she broke the news.

"We could tell them about the other lie." He broached the topic gingerly, not sure if he wanted to open this door, but willing to do whatever it took to help JJ escape some of the self hatred she seemed to be feeling at the moment, knowing he would do anything to make her happy.

"I've thought about it," she admitted weakly as she snuggled against him, finally choosing to seek the comfort he offered as he draped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer. "But telling the team a year later that I lied to them, and have been lying to them…" her voice trailed off.

"You weren't the only one, we both lied to them. But I know what you mean." Hotch said sympathetically as he pressed a small kiss to the top of her head. "It seemed so necessary a year ago, and now I wonder if we shouldn't have just faced the music." He spoke the same thoughts she was having aloud.

"You know what Strauss would have done, the damage it would have brought to you professionally, and also how it would have damaged the reputation of the team." She reminded him, covering again the ground that had caused them to deceive the team so long ago. "We also knew we would probably tell them one day, when enough time had passed that we didn't have to worry about repercussions from the bureau, I just didn't expect it to grow into this big of a lie."

"Do you think it's time to tell them now?" Hotch asked evenly, ready to trust her judgment on the matter.